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 Christian Humbler: Unstoppable Juggernaught of Studom!

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Lysander
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Lysander


Join date : 2009-06-10

Christian Humbler: Unstoppable Juggernaught of Studom! Empty
PostSubject: Christian Humbler: Unstoppable Juggernaught of Studom!   Christian Humbler: Unstoppable Juggernaught of Studom! EmptyThu Jun 11, 2009 2:09 pm

Lysander wrote:
Quote :
Name: President Christian Kibasu Chaos-Hunter Vashblade Dragonfang Humber
Age: 84 (588 wolf years)
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Background: Has-a-Good-Home wolf-Saiyan-Horteka-demon-vampire-cyborg and leader of the free world
Current Occupation: President
Weaknesses: N/A
Powers: Super-strength; super-speed; Wind Scar technique; Ultimate Wind Scar; Omega Wind Scar; Spinner projectile; generic energy blast; at-will Super-Sayan transformation; teleportation; polyglot; instinctive use of artifacts; artifact fusion; useless guardian spirit; three purifying bullets in chest; Dark Templar powers; alien atmosphere adaptation; access to Ice Emeralds; ice elemental; Angel Arm; judge of the dead; time travel; Claw of Exorcism; Claw of Oblivion flight; Scroll of Town Portal (via Magun Mark II); Uniting of Sides; Absorption; Merging; healing powers used once and then promptly forgotten about; invasive telepathy; Transfer System access; being a total dick; control of the Sands of Time; the Kamehameha; telekinesis; Spirit Bomb; Restriction technique; Heart diffused into body; Hell-Wind Scar; Double Wind Scar; Backlash Blast; Hell’s Warm Welcome.
Covert Skills: Swordsmanship, assassination, blacksmithing, marksman, butcher, hacker, house shopping, dragon taming, cocaine ingestion, mecha pilot, UFO pilot, intimidation, arctic survival, faking death, Metra Nui history, population demographics, volcanology, botany, in-field power study, disguise, lichen hunting, grenade throwing, weapons appraisal, nuclear weapon operation, mocking the dying, tracking, persuasion, chilled-ice taster, swimming, speed mourning, estimating temporal fallout, bold assumptions about the playing of instruments, divination, recuperation, barnfinding, gun inventing, vampiric chumminess, Tantric man-on-shark sex, hatred of reporters
Forms: Super-Sayan lv. 1/2/3/4/5/6/Extreme, Hyper, Horteka, side unison, fusion, human form
Form Combos: Ultimate (Super Saiyan 6 + Hyper), Mega (Ultimate + Side Unison), Sora fusion, Zero fusion (Blade Zero), Sora + Blade fusion (Blade Zero Matrix), New Ultimate (all of the above + Kosongto and Kaze), Demon Form, Dragon Form, Control Restriction Level 1 (Everything And More), Ancient God of Destruction, Drive Form, Chaos Hunter Form
Gear: Apocalypse Tetsume, Tetsaiga, Tetkume keyblade, Zero’s Sword, climbing claws, the Magun Mark II, +5 shotgun, Time Mask, Samurai pulse rifle, Zero’s energy pistol, a shitton of normal guns, a shitton of extremely unlikely guns, ice-elemental cyberlimb, Super Ice Emeralds, Wing Zero’s buster rifles, Psycho Dressphere, “My First One” Kid’s Large Neo Halloween costume, iPod, skull of a Miami Dolphin, bloodstained guard uniform, copy of John Romero’s “Daikatana” still stained with the great man’s blood, Kagone’s hand-made “You’re My Bitch” necklace, Ghost, sniper rifle (for zoomin’ purposes), guĂ­tar, demon control crystal haphazardly thrown somewhere, another keyblade, PRECEDENT WARIOR(sic) badge
Sidekicks: Season-Bringer, Sora from Kingdom Hearts, Kagone The True Heroine, Zero, Kosongto, his family, Alucard Q. Dracula, the United States
UGLY: 22

"BWA?! Why is this in Golden Oldies? I have never heard of any such person as Christian Humbler!"

Well, not every terrible fanfic phenom showed up on GAFF. I'd always intended to post it, but by the time I did, it already had it's own fucking website, and I didn't want it to seem like we were stealing their thunder. Over time, it expanded into it's own little snarky fandom.

Christian Humbler is a self insert character who is basically God. A very dangerous, very psychotic God.

The original story is here. I won't bother to try and snark it, because it's almost as long as Mark Moore's Supergirl saga and just as terrible. Enjoy.
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