This one was on the main page on GAFF, and given the shot in the arm
that Star Trek has gotten lately, I think it's time for it to come back.
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- Picard's Illumination
Author: Lorelei MacKenzie
Summary:
A heartbreaking tale of love and sacrifice. Picard learns the truemeaning of love, both with and without the doctor... and loss onboard the Enterprise.
Picard: an unseasoned man, in need of a coming-of-age story.
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- Disclaimers:All characters, except those I made up, are the property of Viacom and Paramount. They don't endorse this story (though they should. It's damn good!), or this website (again, damn good.)
Yeah, I'm sure Paramount are just dying to turn it into an episode. If they make something even worse than fucking Warp 10 space newts, then people will finally shut up about them.
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- Special Thanks: To Kat, who has helped me more than she will ever know with this story. Her guidance has been invaluable and I appreciate it immensely.
This story is another 9/11, and Kat is a literary Osama.
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- The wind howled past the cabin where Picard was stranded.
The first fucking sentence, and I'm already lost beyond all hope of discovery. Picard is stranded? In a cabin? How? Why? When?
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- He had always been a brave man, but tonight, with the way that the wind was howling and screeching past the cabin's thin, frail windows, he felt something in his soul; something unsettling and desperate. As he sat, trying to work through his feelings, he heard a strange pounding outside. It must just be that damned wind, he thought. But, he was wrong. The pounding continuted, and Picard thought he should investigate. He stood, pulled down his red captain’s shirt and headed for the door.
"Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you" - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.
Sadly, no.
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- As he pulled opened the rusty wooden door, he was confronted with the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen; and he’d been a lot of places.
Set wieners to erection.
Also, RUSTY WOODEN DOOR.
Makes me wonder if he keeping warm in his BEAR SILK pullover?
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- Captain Picard! Thank goodness I’ve found you!” She was out of breath, yet with perfect grace, she dismounted the horse she’d been riding and rushed to hug the very shocked captian. “I’ve been looking for you ever since I heard that your shuttlecraft had crashed on this planet. Since they had heard nothing from you, Starfleet command had given you up for dead; but I knew better. I knew in my heart that you would be alive.” She pulled away and looked at his wise face, then moved to hug him again. “I just knew you’d be alive!”
Oh I see. Picard crashed on a planet, and Starfleet, an interstellar military and political power, with scanners that can detect lifeforms from orbit and transporters that could zip him up in a moment's notice, was unable to locate him. Fortunately, one young woman searching the entire surface of the planet on horseback has no trouble finding him at all.
I think all those aliens in Starfleet got sick of his "humans are sooooo evolved" speeches, and had him stranded on purpose.
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- “So, what brought you to this sector of the galaxy? It is so rare to see another human, much less a Starfleet officer out here.”
“Well,” she looked down into the Romulan Rasberry Truffel before her and paused.
In the meantime, Picard's had time to build a cabin, smelt iron hinges for a door without tools, and become a master chief of alien cuisine cooked with Earthling food.
I don't think this is actually Picard. It sounds more like the Brawny paper towel guy.
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- She didn’t quite know how to answer the inquisitive captain. It didn’t help that the way that he was looking at her made her melt like a frozen Klingon Ka'gahak exposed to the scorching flames of the Kathless meditation fires.
Sexual arousal feels a lot like the the intense burning rituals of savage warrior aliens.
I'm guessing Ka'gahk is the sound a Klingon makes when he chokes on a breadstick.
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- Picard didn’t realize the way he was looking at her of course. Gentleman that he is, he would always strive to make a woman, especially one who had just saved his life, comfortable.
Whoa, wait a minute there. She only said she
found you. She never said she had a way to rescue you. Odds are, she crashed her shuttlecraft, too.
Speaking of which, how do you transport a horse to another planet with one of those things? Is there some kind of shuttlecraft horse trailer, or do you just stick it in the back, and clean up the mess later?
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- But this woman was different, somehow. There was something about her that Picard found mesmerizing. He stared at her, trying to discern what he found so, attractive, so incredibly appealing. Was it her flawless alabaster skin, with only the *tinest* hint of a freckle on her cheek that was so lovely against it, it only added to her beauty? Was it her waves of bright auburn tresses that fell in radient splender down her back? Or was it her eyes, eyes of the deepest amber he had ever seen? This woman, he repeated to himself, this woman is… incredible.
Was it the fact that he'd been stuck here alone, without any women - or even a decent holodeck facsimile - and desperately needed to fuck something,
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- This woman, Lorelei Cordelia MacKenzie
OH I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.
Trust me, the fact that this character IS the author is gonna be
really weird in just a second.
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- was a Commander from Starbase 34 who had abandoned her post when she’d heard of Picard’s accident. She gave up her command, and put her career
at risk for a man she’d never met; but something within her screamed “Go after him! Find him!”
I guess they raise pretty decent horses in the verdant fields of Starbase 34.
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- She looked up at Picard, struggling to concentrate on the question the captain had asked her, and not think about the piercing blue eyes that were examining her. “Well, Captain, when I heard of your disappearance, I just…” she paused, not knowing how he would respond to what she would say next, “I had to look for you, to rescue you. N-Not that you need rescuing, it’s just that, well,” Lorelei was getting nervous now. She was unable to gauge his reactions to her.
Befuddlement would be my best guess.
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- Sensingher discomfort, Picard felt the need to speak, to ease her nerves. “I understand how sometimes people feel compelled to do things that they don’t understand.”
"This one time, I felt compelled to help the Borg invade Earth. Hundreds died. I hope you'll remember that next time you feel like abandoning Starfleet."
[quote]I knew you would, Captain.” Lorelei smiled with relief.
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- “Please, call me Jean-Luc.” He reached out and took her soft hand. He was a bit startled for a minute – it had been so long since he’d touched a woman.
"Damn the lack of Romulan ale on this godforsaken planet. What I wouldn't give to get you smashed right now, Commander."
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- Why don’t I show you around the ship?”
Y'know, that ship that nobody's mentioned by name, yet. The one we aren't on. That one.
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- Well, that’s most of the ship."
Naturally, her first exposure to the legendary Enterprise is not notable, and can easily be skipped. I mean, it's not like the ship's
important, or anything. I guess we also don't have to explain why she isn't in the brig for going AWOL.
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- But I have one last place I’d like you to see.” Picard leads Lorelei into a large square room with black squares on the wall and ceiling.
Her eyes light up. “Is this the Holodeck?” she asks.
Well, it's a black soundstage with yellow masking tape on the walls, so yeah.
“It is.”
“Ooh!” she replies.
Picard smiles at her girlish excitement over something he’s always taken for granted.
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- “We don’t have Holodecks on my Starbase,” she sighed. “I’ve grown so weary of reality.” Lorelei sighed again and looks down at her slightly scuffed Starfleet regulation boots.
"That's why I write fanfic."
Picard sensed her sudden downtroddenness, and spurted out some orders to the computer so quickly that Lorelei, usually incredibly sharp, didn’t catch them.
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- "Computer, begin program Picard Alpha 69."
A bed and some candles appeared. Saxophone music could be heard in the distance.
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- When she looked up, she was surrounded by the most beautiful park setting she’d ever seen. There was warm sun on her face, and lush, green grass under her boots. She felt a slight breeze brushing through her thick red hair. The breeze tickled her skin and forced her to smile. When she looked at Picard, she was surprised to see him already looking at her.
In truth, he was fixated on her: her face, even more radient than he’d thought and her hair, shimmering blindly in the sun. He took a deep breath to try to restrain himself from just taking her in his arms. He felt a sudden boyishness overcome him.
She certainly has this character down. When I think of Picard, "boyishness" is the first word that pops into my mind.
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- I’ll race you to the fountain,” he offered. He wanted to dance with her in the flowing water of the fountain, just like lovers in France and Italy have done for hundreds of years.
In Germany, however, the fountain could only be used for making cold, efficient love, purely for the purpose of procreating future soldiers for the Fatherland.
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- “You’re on, old man,” she teased.
“Old? Old? Hrumph. I’ll show you old!”
And with that, Picard races off after the teenage fanbrat who is creepily fixated on the sexual chemistry between two middle aged actors.
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- Lorelei giggled and began to chase after him. She ran with all her might up the hill and saw him about three meters ahead of him. She pushed herself to
catch up with him. Just as she was about to pass him, she felt a sharp shooting pain in her leg, and collapsed.
At least Picard, for all his years, can run ten meters without collapsing due to lack of breath.
She awoke to a bright light shining in her eyes and a warm voice comforting her.
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- “It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.” She looked up and saw a smiling face. Dr. Crusher was leaning over the injured Lorelei. “You took quite a spill on that Holodeck.” The doctor looked from her to Picard with smiling eyes. “What were you two doing out there?”
"That lured me in with promises of Romulan truffles and rides on the holodeck!"
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- "Uh,” the Captain turned a bit red. Lorelei was surprised – she had never seen him not in control. “We were just exercising.” Lorelei was hurt by
his denial of their budding relationship. She could understand that he felt the need for privacy, but to use something as cold as “exercising” hurt her feelings.
Exercise is evil. It cuts into my Cheeto-inhaling time.
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- She wondered why he made such an excuse. She kept wondering, that is, until she saw him look at Dr. Crusher.
The looks he gave the doctor were different than any Lorelei had seen before. As he stared at the tall medic, his eyes were filled with a tenderness and grace Lore had never seen before and probably would never see in his glances for her. It was at that point, at that moment, seeing his loving looks for Dr. Crusher, that Lorelei decided that she needed to leave the ship immediately.
That's gonna be mighty hard for someone who collapses at the slightest bit of physical exertion.
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- As she was making this decision, she heard someone enter the room. It was the highly intuitive Counselor Troi. She approached Lorelei with a look
of concern.
“Lorelei, I was sitting in my quarters when I felt some pain coming from your spirit. I sense you are injured. No?”
Lorelei was astonished at Troi’s perceptiveness.
“Yes, Counselor, I hurt my leg, um,” she shot a look at Picard, “exercising on the Holodeck. Thank you for your concern.”
“I just wanted to make sure you are alright.” Troi turned and left SickBay, her peaceful spirit gone as suddenly as it had arrived.
Boy, it was a good thing she showed up in the story to do all that stuff she did.
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- Lorelei fought to sit up, but Crusher held her down. “Please, be still. You’re still too weak to move.”
“But I must! I… have… to… leave…,” she struggled to get the words out.
“You’re not going anywhere! You have to lie here and recover. And that’s an order!”
Why doesn't Crusher hit her with that hypospray full of instant knockout drugs that every doctor in Starfleet constantly has on hand?
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- Dr. Crusher was stern, and she decided to pretend to obey. But, in her heart, she knew what she must do. She could not interfere into this powerful love that she saw between Picard and Crusher. If she could not leave the ship physically, she must leave in spirit.
Do what?
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- She waited patiently until the staff had left the room, and she began to prepare herself for “the Bathla’gra.” She had learned this a long time ago, when she was a refugee on the Klingon planet. She never thought that she would use it, but here she was, and she had a mission.
The Bathla’gra was an ancient Klingon procedure for suicide.
DO WHAT?!
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- It was a way for warriers to kill themselves when they were held captive without a weapon. She carefully bit off a piece of her thumbnail and tore out one of her eyelashes. She gritted her teeth and began. As she started to lose consciousness, she whispered “you to belong togehter! Please, don't hold back anymore. Come together for me! It's my last wish!”
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- “Oh God!!!! Why??? Why Why Why???” Picard screamed in agony and fell to his knees. “Why did she do it?” he was sobbing so hard that he began to hiccup. “I (hic) loved (hic) her!”
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- Dr. Crusher reached over to comfort the tortured captain. “Jean-Luc,” she whispered, “it’ll be okay. Please don’t cry.” She fell to the floor and embraced him, rocking him in her arms. “Shh, it’ll be okay.”
And, as Picard felt her warm arms around him, and he lowered his head onto her sholder, he knew that she was right. That things would be okay after all.
DAMN, he got over that quick.
And so, the author of the story committed suicide, a martyr for her ship. No, really.
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