Ever read The Lord of the Rings and was disappointed that it didn't feature Hobbits boinking Elves? Was
Bored of the Rings not long enough for you (and, more to the point, lacking in sex scenes)? Have you ever wanted to see a short, furry-footed Elijah Wood bang Liv Tyler? Well, if you have, here's the story for YOU!
One Night With the Evenstar.
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- Hey! This is a story I wrote 'cause my boyfriend thought that it would be cute to see Frodo and Arwen go at it.
Like bunnies!
...Also, I hate your boyfriend for inciting you to write this crap.
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- It is basically a one shot story, it is mostly the sex part, but I tried to put a little story in there to add some depth to it and steer it away from being just PWP!
Sorry, you failed it.
Anyway, it starts out like all porn stories do... the guy can't sleep, he's distracted, it's the end of the world... wait, what?
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- Suddenly He heard a sound, he looked up from his bed and lost his breath.
Now he ded from asphyxiation. The End.
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- There, out upon the porch, and standing in the cool night breeze with her hair shimmering in the moonlight was the Lady Arwen. She had a beautiful cloak wrapped about her lovely form, and a solemn look on her face as she gracefully stepped into his room.
"Frodo, I've come to bang you. The author said it had to be done."
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- “My Lady!” Why have you come to me?” Frodo inquired. He moved his hand from his neck and away from the chain, but he knew Arwen had seen him fingering it.
Damn, now even Frodo's Ring-fetish sounds dirty.
I'll never be able to watch
Fellowship of the Ring the same way again....
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- “Frodo” The Lady began, and her expression softened, “I have come to you because of your journey tomorrow… I know of the danger you face.”
"Here's a pity fuck before you die horribly."
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- Frodo got out of the bed and stepped toward her, feeling horribly underdressed in his night clothes, and greatly embarrassed for a reason that escaped him entirely.
Dude, your friend's fiancee just propositioned you. If that's
not a moment to feel embarrassed, then what is?
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- He was about to ask her if he could be of service to her in any way… he let out a gasp instead.
"Naked chick! BOOBIES!"
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- Arwen pulled the cloak off of her shoulders… it dropped to the floor, cascading around her feet like a waterfall of fabric. She stood before the Halfling completely naked now. Frodo had gasped at the sight of her… he had dreamed about what she might look like, but had never imagined he might see her like this himself! He tried not to stare, but his eyes eagerly devoured her sensuous curves.
This would be a really awkward time for Aragorn to show up, just for shits 'n' giggles.
"Umm, Arwen, honey, what are you doing naked? Here?"
"I, uh, just... an Elven moon ritual! Dancing naked... under the moonlight. Yes, that's it. Weird ritual stuff that you never knew about until this night. Well. Off to dance naked somewhere else now."
*Cue laugh track*
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- “Do not be afraid, Frodo…” The Lady Arwen gently intoned, “tonight my body is a gift and a comfort to you.”
I'm sure Aragorn is so pleased.
I mean, it's not like
he needs comfort, or anything.
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- Frodo got down on his knees, and tentatively put one of her nipples in his mouth.
Wait, how are they positioned again?
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- He was pleased to hear a pleasant gasp escape her lips. He began to suck eagerly upon her ample tit.
*plays Kellis' "Milkshake"*
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- “Let me show you how the elves make love!” Said Arwen, and as she spoke she grabbed her breasts and began to squeeze them around Frodo’s cock.
"This is how we technically keep our virginities for so many centuries!"
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- Arwen spoke sweet nothings in elvish as she stared into his eyes.
"Vedui lle UCLA! Idi Amin mela lle. Auta mobile miqula orqu orgy! Lasta lalaithamin. Arwen-en-amin."
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- What a sight it would have been!
Too bad Frodo didn't have a camera-phone on him. He could have uploaded that shit to the internet.
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- Frodo was in ecstasy! “Uh… oh… my Lady! How delightful you make… UH… me feel…” He told her, all the while increasing his pace and roughness.
“Mmmh… you have a lot of vigor… Master hobbit!” Arwen replied, “But I should like for you to enjoy something else I have to offer you!”
... The sight of Arwen’s wet cunt was too much for the halfling to bear; he had to have her!
...He began to thrust in and out of her dripping elven cunt, savoring the feel of it as it clenched around his cock.
Elven cunt. Huh. So does he have a Hobbithood? I'm actually sad that that phrase is not in here. It would make it... complete.
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- Frodo eagerly obeyed, and began to violently piston in and out of her.
*Old Sea-Captain's voice from The Simpsons* "Arrr, 'tis not a Hobbit! 'Tis a fuckin' machine!"
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- “Uh… uh… uh, Frodo… oh! Frodo!” Arwen cried, as she felt her own climax nearing.
“Uh! Oh… my lady…” Frodo began to grunt, he wanted to warn her of his impending climax… he didn’t have the willpower to pull himself out of her.
“Frodo! Frodo… uh… harder… Frodo!” Arwen pleaded, with heavy lust in her own voice.
What brilliant dialog! Why, it's like something the Professor himself would have written!
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- Frodo obeyed… now he was fucking the Evenstar wildly with all his might! The room filled with quiet grunts and moans, it was all either of them could do to keep from shouting… the very sound of their flesh slapping together was terribly arousing… Frodo’s Halfling rod plunged in and out of the Lady Arwen’s wet cunt harder, and harder, and harder!
Oh, wait, we got 'Halfling rod'. That really makes my life complete. I can die happy, now.
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- Arwen wanted to scream! She had not anticipated Frodo having such endurance! The resilient hobbit was proving to be a wonderful lover, and she was a little disappointed that he would never have her again. “yes… YES! Mas… UH! ..ter Baggi uh… uh… uh! Ins! Oh Frodo! Yes!” Arwen urged him on, barely coherent.
Nope, she's there already. As far as incoherency, I mean.
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- Frodo’s orgasm struck him like a ton of bricks,
So, he was killed instantly, then.
...
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- Frodo’s eyes snapped open as he felt his cock come alive with sensations once more!
Wow, no refractory time for Frodo, then. Moar sexx0rs!
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- “This time master hobbit, I shall take you!” And as she said it she pushed him over and swung her legs over him, straddling his body.
Before Frodo could speak she plunged down upon his erection.
And snapped it like a twig. *crunch*
You'll have a hard time explaining that to Elrond, that's for sure.
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- "My Lady! I’m going to… to!” he began to protest.
“Shh!” Arwen placed a finger on his lips as she continued to move her body over his. “Let it happen… it will be well in the end… uh… mmh…”
No, actually, she's a lying bitch, and you will DIE, Frodo.
So, anyway, healthy loads are spurted, and the marathon sex session finally ends.
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- The Evenstar spoke. “Frodo… I hope I have been some comfort to you tonight. Remember this always, but keep the knowledge of it to yourself… I am glad to have given you the warmth of a woman’s touch before your perilous journey.”
"After this it's all Sam and Gollum, all the time, for you, buddy. You'll never be straight again!"
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