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 "Voldemort Winkey Lemon"

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Dr. Professor Science
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"Voldemort Winkey Lemon" Empty
PostSubject: "Voldemort Winkey Lemon"   "Voldemort Winkey Lemon" EmptyWed Jul 29, 2009 11:49 pm

This is supposed to be a short threesome between Voldemort, Draco Malfoy, and Winky. My trolldar senses are tingling but it's too funny to resist posting it.

Voldemort Winkey Lemon, by Vearanniel

Quote :
AN/ This is set in an AU where Voldemort takes over. Dobby still died , though. Please R/R!!! Does get to graphic.


It gets to graphic? Ooh, I want to read it now! :viley:

So Winkey has been feeling lonely since Dobby died. She was :lolinsane: suidical :lolinsane: even, and Voldemort thought she was the most beautiful thing ever and he could no longer control himself. He just has to fuck her.

Quote :
“Hush Winkey. I have a special task for you tonight." With a soft, slow smile, Voldemort waved his wand and all of Winkey's clothing flew off of her except for her pink lacy triple d bra and thong.

Uh, triple D? All that cleaning must be painful for her. She wouldn't even be able to stand. Or something.

Quote :
Winkeys large eyes grew even larger ads she looked upon Voldemorts naked, sexily pastly body.

She must do all her advertising with Google. And Pastly? PASTLY? PASTY? Pastly makes me think of rest homes.

Quote :

“Mmmmaster please, I love you!"

"Please, my dearest, call me Tommy!"

:roflmao:... I can't continue! I'm too busy laughing my ass off. See for yourself!
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PostSubject: Re: "Voldemort Winkey Lemon"   "Voldemort Winkey Lemon" EmptyThu Jul 30, 2009 12:02 am

The worst part about this fic is that it's spelled "Winky", not "Winkey". Dry

Quote :
At the moment when the two orgasimed simultaneously, Lucius Malfoy walked in to get something that he had forgotten.
I'll bet he had nightmares after that. "Voldemort Winkey Lemon" 611762

Quote :
"Oh Winkey!" he cried with a pure pure joy.
And then he pointed his wand and shouted "Avada Kedavra!", killing the elf that had dared to give him joy. Twisted Evil
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PostSubject: Re: "Voldemort Winkey Lemon"   "Voldemort Winkey Lemon" EmptyThu Jul 30, 2009 2:23 am

Sexily pastly? Pasty, maybe, given that Voldie spends most of his time skulking in the dark. But most people don't find albino men with no noses that sexy. Perhaps House Elves have different tastes in partners from humans?
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PostSubject: Re: "Voldemort Winkey Lemon"   "Voldemort Winkey Lemon" EmptyThu Jul 30, 2009 1:41 pm

Vearanniel? I recognize this person. She's quite famous in the LotR fandom for writing a pretty epically bad fanfic The Tale of Vearanniel. I thought she was a troll, but I guess not.
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http://www.realelvish.net
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PostSubject: Re: "Voldemort Winkey Lemon"   "Voldemort Winkey Lemon" EmptyThu Jul 30, 2009 1:58 pm

Writing Voldemort and Winky having sex proves she's not a troll?

Wha?
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PostSubject: Re: "Voldemort Winkey Lemon"   "Voldemort Winkey Lemon" EmptyThu Jul 30, 2009 3:25 pm

Quote :
“Hush Winkey. I have a special task for you tonight." With a soft, slow smile, Voldemort waved his wand and all of Winkey's clothing flew off of her except for her pink lacy triple d bra and thong.

Victorias Secret, Creatures of Near-Human Intelligence edition " :viley: "

What's next? Wands shaped like (and/or used as) dildos?
[I just cursed that into existance, didn't I?]


Also, if a House-Elf is given "real" clothes, isn't it freed from servitude? I honestly can't imagine a being wanting to be made love to by another being that's 2-3 times its size.
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PostSubject: Re: "Voldemort Winkey Lemon"   "Voldemort Winkey Lemon" EmptyThu Jul 30, 2009 4:12 pm

unskilled78 wrote:
What's next? Wands shaped like (and/or used as) dildos?
[I just cursed that into existance, didn't I?]

I find it highly unlikely that hasn't been done at least a thousand times already.

Quote :
Also, if a House-Elf is given "real" clothes, isn't it freed from servitude? I honestly can't imagine a being wanting to be made love to by another being that's 2-3 times its size.

Giant(ess) fetishists?


Last edited by Keith Fraser on Fri Jul 31, 2009 1:05 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: "Voldemort Winkey Lemon"   "Voldemort Winkey Lemon" EmptyThu Jul 30, 2009 5:49 pm

This Vearanniel knows as much about writing as I do about jai alai-- next to nothing.
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PostSubject: Re: "Voldemort Winkey Lemon"   "Voldemort Winkey Lemon" EmptyThu Jul 30, 2009 7:52 pm

When I saw the word "Winkey" in the title, I thought you were just using the kiddie word for 'penis'. It made me think Voldemort had a really tiny penis.

I prefer to live in that reality.
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PostSubject: Re: "Voldemort Winkey Lemon"   "Voldemort Winkey Lemon" EmptyMon Aug 03, 2009 6:21 pm

:tmi:
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PostSubject: Re: "Voldemort Winkey Lemon"   "Voldemort Winkey Lemon" EmptySun Aug 23, 2009 10:56 pm

Lolercoster.

Quote :
He needed to have Winkey again right then and there. Only this time, he wanted to do it more fluffily.

So he transfigured Winky into a mink stole.

Quote :
He slowly spread it over her petite body and then even more slowly he began to lick it off.

This, on the other hand, is not funny guys. This is how the Dark Lord spends his weekends now. His sick addiction has already caused him to gain 10 pounds. I weep for him.
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PostSubject: Re: "Voldemort Winkey Lemon"   "Voldemort Winkey Lemon" EmptyMon Aug 24, 2009 11:18 am

My brain. It leaks because of this. **stuffs corks in her ears**
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PostSubject: Re: "Voldemort Winkey Lemon"   "Voldemort Winkey Lemon" EmptyMon Aug 24, 2009 11:32 am

Nihilist wrote:
Uh, triple D? All that cleaning must be painful for her. She wouldn't even be able to stand. Or something.
Since cup sizes are done proportionately (inches around underside of bust versus inches around fullest part of bust), then...that only makes this slightly less ridiculous. I think.

"Voldemort Winkey Lemon" 367135
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PostSubject: Re: "Voldemort Winkey Lemon"   "Voldemort Winkey Lemon" EmptyFri Aug 28, 2009 9:47 am

KelinciHutan wrote:
Nihilist wrote:
Uh, triple D? All that cleaning must be painful for her. She wouldn't even be able to stand. Or something.
Since cup sizes are done proportionately (inches around underside of bust versus inches around fullest part of bust), then...that only makes this slightly less ridiculous. I think.

Sorry, still doesn't change the fact that Voldemort is fucking a house elf. :blink:
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PostSubject: Re: "Voldemort Winkey Lemon"   "Voldemort Winkey Lemon" EmptyFri Aug 28, 2009 12:15 pm

I_Lam_Edhellen wrote:
Vearanniel? I recognize this person. She's quite famous in the LotR fandom for writing a pretty epically bad fanfic The Tale of Vearanniel. I thought she was a troll, but I guess not.

She's worse, actually. She's an agent of Satan.
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PostSubject: Re: "Voldemort Winkey Lemon"   "Voldemort Winkey Lemon" EmptyFri Aug 28, 2009 12:53 pm

rbevacant wrote:
KelinciHutan wrote:
Nihilist wrote:
Uh, triple D? All that cleaning must be painful for her. She wouldn't even be able to stand. Or something.
Since cup sizes are done proportionately (inches around underside of bust versus inches around fullest part of bust), then...that only makes this slightly less ridiculous. I think.
Sorry, still doesn't change the fact that Voldemort is fucking a house elf. :blink:
I completely agree with you there. I just meant that the boob size is theoretically plausible. As for the rest of this, I don't think there's enough acid in the world to explain it.
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