Why, God, why did these commercials get made?

WD40 wrote:

How about something a bit more cuddly?

Who the fuck comes up with this crap?

You mean that wasn't a joke?!

To be honest, I have two thoughts on this ad.

1. What would happen if we put the Purity Bear and the Tiddy Bear in the ring together?

2. Am I the only one who thought the girl's father, in the form of a bear, would maul the guy? I mean these commercials are usually more concerned with female purity than male.

3. Why the fuck did they use a fucking bear?! Really?!

Okay so I lied that's more than two.

It's back! And this time it's FUNKY!

WD40 wrote:

It's back! And this time it's FUNKY!

These commercials are so lame. Do they really think kids are influenced to keep their virginity by seeing a teddy bear? And where the fuck do they come up with these statistics at the end? People who wait for marriage to lose their virginity are more successful at what? Wishing they'd done it sooner?

WD40 wrote:

It's back! And this time it's FUNKY!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Black stereotypes aren't nearly as fun or creepy as the flat monotone and over-the-shoulder peeking of the original.

BRING BACK OPB!

I am still picking my jaw off the floor...

Yeah, the notion that a vegan would have the energy to do anything but sit around all day is fundamentally absurd. But that's PETA for you!

WD40 wrote:

I am still picking my jaw off the floor...

And PETA continue their proud tradition of shitting on women in the name of animal rights.

Cyberwulf wrote:

And PETA continue their proud tradition of shitting on women underprivileged groups in general in the name of animal rights.

FTFY

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Cyberwulf wrote:

And PETA continue their proud tradition of shitting on women underprivileged groups in general in the name of animal rights.

FTFY

Much obliged!

I could go looking up PETA videos or statistics on PETA videos to see whether women are getting crapped on proportionally more than other underpriveleged groups, but I'm going to do a Mikey and demand that someone else do the work.

Sorry to necropost, but the latest round of Target commercials make me want to kill someone.



At least get someone who can actually sing!

What about that annoying Biobest yogurt ad hijacking the Dwarfs Hi-Ho song? Ugh!

I have no problem with this advert. I just have to share it with everyone. EVERYONE!

I fucking love old, probably crazy, Van-Damme.

Yeah there's no "probably" about Jean-Claude Van Damme: he is crazy. I just hope he's the fun, lovable crazy ala Mr. T and not the rancid bigotted crazy ala Chuck Norris.

Digging back a bit, the trailer for one of my favorite games:



I cannot possibly imagine a more inappropriate song to cut in at 2:20 than "Blurry," with the possible exception of Yackety Sax.

Has anyone posted this yet? Americans for Prosperity are kicking the scare tactics into high gear for this one. Unfortunately I was in the break room at work when I first saw this, and couldn't stop myself from laughing out loud.

Okay, what is with those Dentyne Ice commercials? Seriously, practice safe breath?? They make sound like a it's a commercial for Trojan Condoms. And don't even get me started on them.

Bad Luck Charm wrote:

Okay, what is with those Dentyne Ice commercials? Seriously, practice safe breath?? They make sound like a it's a commercial for Trojan Condoms. And don't even get me started on them.

Sex appeal...you're doing it wrong.

There's a commercial on the Armed Forces Network that, like many, is about sexual assault. It's an animated chalkboard... blueprint... thing. It goes,

"You + me = team. Team + everyone = mission success. Team + sexual assault = mission failure. SEXUAL ASSAULT DOES NOT FIT INTO THE EQUATION"

Wait, so team + sexual assault DOES NOT equal mission failure?

Penguin wrote:

There's a commercial on the Armed Forces Network that, like many, is about sexual assault. It's an animated chalkboard... blueprint... thing. It goes,

"You + me = team. Team + everyone = mission success. Team + sexual assault = mission failure. SEXUAL ASSAULT DOES NOT FIT INTO THE EQUATION"

Wait, so team + sexual assault DOES NOT equal mission failure?

A+ response, would LOL again.

Penguin wrote:

There's a commercial on the Armed Forces Network that, like many, is about sexual assault. It's an animated chalkboard... blueprint... thing. It goes,

"You + me = team. Team + everyone = mission success. Team + sexual assault = mission failure. SEXUAL ASSAULT DOES NOT FIT INTO THE EQUATION"

Wait, so team + sexual assault DOES NOT equal mission failure?

I'm beginning to think the military just can't into math in general. At some little camp thingy I went to when I was 16, where we learned about military stuff, there were a bunch of "counselors" who were mostly students at some military academy or another, all managed by a former Major. As far as showing up for stuff, they tried to say that early was on time and on time was late and late was unacceptable, in an attempt to get us to X location READY TO GO at a particular time.

Someone should have explained to them, that by transitive property, early was unacceptable. Naturally, however, they were all large, grumpy, and/or insane, so someone ELSE should have explained it to them.

The "be fifteen minutes early or you're late" nonsense is higher on my gripe list with the military than it probably should be.

Penguin wrote:

The "be fifteen minutes early or you're late" nonsense is higher on my gripe list with the military than it probably should be.

It's a problem in golf too (though probably a smaller problem as most of the golf administrators are unarmed geezers). They want me at the tee ten minutes before the tee time they gave me in order to tell me that red stakes denote lateral hazards (that's like telling you which end of the rifle bullets come out of).

They always tell me I should have been there earlier when I show up on time with a combination of conceit and impotence I wasn't aware was possible.