Why, God, why did these commercials get made?

The Jitterbug phone commercials. Because everyone knows that people over the age of 50 have no idea how modern technology works and can only operate a cell phone if it has huge buttons and an operator to tell them how to do it. It's not like we ever use the computer or anything...

My sister, who's 69, can text message faster than most 13-year-olds I know. And she didn't get her first cell phone till she was in her late 50s.

Oh, now who could forget those wonderful syke 9 commercials that were in the waning days of that other board? Be sure to check out the official site's commecials. That congressional one is truly BAD.

That Syke 9 website is a special kind of lame...

You can tell that most of those comments on that site, if not all of them, were fabricated.

I really, really hate that one Snickers commercial that shows two guys in a bookstore sniggering over a book about bagging hot chicks, and then an attractive girl walks by and gives them a disapproving glance... but then one of the guys takes the time to munch on a Snickers bar and then starts pretending to berate his friend for reading such sexist garbage. The woman is instantly impressed and asks him out for coffee. That's right, you too can manipulate a sweet piece of potential arm candy when you munch on a Snickers bar!

And speaking of sexism, this isn't a TV ad, but: RAAAAGE. Sweet Jesus, I don't even realize I'm a feminist until I see an ad using the phrase "freckled piece of cellulite".

Mae Bedlam wrote:

You can tell that most of those comments on that site, if not all of them, were fabricated.

I really, really hate that one Snickers commercial that shows two guys in a bookstore sniggering over a book about bagging hot chicks, and then an attractive girl walks by and gives them a disapproving glance... but then one of the guys takes the time to munch on a Snickers bar and then starts pretending to berate his friend for reading such sexist garbage. The woman is instantly impressed and asks him out for coffee. That's right, you too can manipulate a sweet piece of potential arm candy when you munch on a Snickers bar!

And speaking of sexism, this isn't a TV ad, but: RAAAAGE. Sweet Jesus, I don't even realize I'm a feminist until I see an ad using the phrase "freckled piece of cellulite".

It's Twix.

Those Bacardi ads remind me of the song about getting an ugly girl to marry you. I know it's supposed to be a joke, but it's just not funny.

A_Note_Chaotic wrote:

Mae Bedlam wrote:

You can tell that most of those comments on that site, if not all of them, were fabricated.

I really, really hate that one Snickers commercial that shows two guys in a bookstore sniggering over a book about bagging hot chicks, and then an attractive girl walks by and gives them a disapproving glance... but then one of the guys takes the time to munch on a Snickers bar and then starts pretending to berate his friend for reading such sexist garbage. The woman is instantly impressed and asks him out for coffee. That's right, you too can manipulate a sweet piece of potential arm candy when you munch on a Snickers bar!

And speaking of sexism, this isn't a TV ad, but: RAAAAGE. Sweet Jesus, I don't even realize I'm a feminist until I see an ad using the phrase "freckled piece of cellulite".

It's Twix.

Snickers would be more accurate. "Not going anywhere for a while?"

"Yippee-ai-ay, mini sirloin burgers! Yippee-ai-ay, mini sirloin burgers! Yippee-ai-ay, MINI SIRLOIN BURGERRRRS!!!"

DAMN YOU JACK IN THE BOX!!! :panic:

Also there were some commercials I forgot to mention.
The first one was from International Delight coffee creamers. It featured a policeman stopping someone and tellng them to "Slow down" for a coffee creamer. I actually worked for them at the time in customer service. We got a TON of complaints about how insulting it was to people's intelligence.
Other really bad ones were locally made. A long time ago, there used to be a commercial on in this area for Spinner's Pizza. It featured a rapper that couldn't rap. Another bad one I saw a long time ago was from Corpus Christi. There they had a TV salesman named Les Felzer, who sold Curtis Mathis TVs (which should tell you how old that is.) But in one of them he's talking to an old woman and she goes "But Mister Felzer! It's not a Curtis Mathis!" in a voice that sounds like a cross between fingernails on a blackboard and tires squealing on pavement. :headshot:

I saw that Axe commercial with the chocolate guy. That is fucking creepy!

Even worse, Mae, is that in the follow-up to that Twix ad, he's now married to her, but he's hanging out all hours of the night with the same loser pal and lying to her about it. And both times he's shown deceiving her -- i.e., the only two times he's shown saying anything for her benefit -- she gets all hazy* and infatuated. It's like the Twix is giving him a milder form of the Axe/Lynx attractiveness power.

And now that you're starting to think about it, all kinds of unpleasant implications are starting to emerge, aren't they?





*In a "gauze filter on the lens" kind of way, not a "losing consciousness" one.

Rabid Badger wrote:

The Jitterbug phone commercials. Because everyone knows that people over the age of 50 have no idea how modern technology works and can only operate a cell phone if it has huge buttons and an operator to tell them how to do it. It's not like we ever use the computer or anything...

My sister, who's 69, can text message faster than most 13-year-olds I know. And she didn't get her first cell phone till she was in her late 50s.

I've never been able to get who those commercials are aimed towards. The actors tend to look like they're between their forties to early sixties, which seems a little young for specially-marketed, dumbed down cellphones.

But the name "Jitterbug" sounds like it's geared towards people in their 80s and 90s. You know, people who might have actually danced the Jitterbug or seen in danced in their lifetime.

Any ad that advertises male-enhancement or erectile dysfunction pills or devices. Especially those damn enzyte ads with "Smiling Bob" and the Viagra ads that desecrate Elvis Presley's song "Viva Las Vegas!"

Bad Luck Charm wrote:

Any ad that advertises male-enhancement or erectile dysfunction pills or devices. Especially those damn enzyte ads with "Smiling Bob" and the Viagra ads that desecrate Elvis Presley's song "Viva Las Vegas!"

I hate "Smiling Bob" and his stupid fucking commercials.

Sometimes, when I'm in a really bad mood, I imagine someone ripping his teeth out Celebrian-style.

The Two for One

AKA commercials that advertise two (usually unrelated) things at once. There was a new one on recently, but I can't remember what it was about (Hello, effective advertising) but I do remember last year's Olympics... And the Mummy Returns double-ad. It was just bizzare.



You'd think both companies in charge of promoting these events could afford advertising them separately.

Inciter wrote:

Bad Luck Charm wrote:

Any ad that advertises male-enhancement or erectile dysfunction pills or devices. Especially those damn enzyte ads with "Smiling Bob" and the Viagra ads that desecrate Elvis Presley's song "Viva Las Vegas!"

I hate "Smiling Bob" and his stupid fucking commercials.

Sometimes, when I'm in a really bad mood, I imagine someone ripping his teeth out Celebrian-style.

This actually reminded me of something... Does anyone still have Loki's "Femzyte" parody commercial from way back on Orange GAFF? That thing was possibly the best antidote to those ads I have ever heard.

Is it just me, or does anyone else think those KY Yours & Mine lube ads are ridiculous as Lady GaGa's latest get-up(although her outfits are the lesser of the two evils)? You know the ones, with the short musical interlude used to describe the sensation when both lubes are used. Nice to know that my orgasm will have me singing opera. :suspect: :blink: :shocked:

Personally...I like the Ozzy WoW ad. Compared to the other WoW celeb ads, it's kinda an antidote...ESPECIALLY when he's about to go epic with the Lich King.

Now...in terms of bad commercials, is Starburst TRYING to anger the Scottish and Korean communities? You know the commercial I'm talking about right?

Quote :

You're Scotch-Korean...which don't make a wee bit o' sense!

Uh...explain WHY that doesn't make sense? If a Scotsman and a Korean women like each other, get married, have a kid...come on!

Quote :

Just like Starburst is a solid, but is juicy like a liquid!

I've had them...they aren't THAT damn juicy! Oy, this is pants-on-head retarded...

How's about that new Quiznos commercial? You know, the one with the guy at the psychiatrist's office? Oh what, an imaginary Quiznos toaster oven that can talk. "TOASTY TOASTY", oh fuck you. Little Caeser's did that shit, please let them be only ones. God I hate that thing's new voice now.

I almost miss that domineering homo oven now.

None of those are quite as bad as the cavemen commercials, though. I'm glad they went back to using the gecko, he's not as annoying.

Swiffer's done it again. This time they're using the song "Love Stinks" for their ads.

Could someone PLEASE tell these cretins to stop mucking up pop culture?

The new Centrum commercials make me want to sic Cyberwulf on the ad execs. They show pictures of high-heeled shoes, nail polish, and a purse as "things made just for women" to go with the "for women" vitamins. This is bad enough, but the "things made just for men"? Golf clubs, a plasma TV, and A WATCH. Because not only do women never watch TV or play golf, they have absolutely no need to know what time it is, except in relation to when their hubby is coming home so they can have dinner ready. Some of the women's ads have a bike instead of high-heeled shoes, which makes about as much sense. I guess biking is just too metrosexual for these 50's-humping bastards.

I swear I saw one of those commercials with a barbecue grill as one of the things "made just for men". Because women never cook outdoors, do they? That's the man's job!

EileenK98 wrote:

I swear I saw one of those commercials with a barbecue grill as one of the things "made just for men". Because women never cook outdoors, do they? That's the man's job!

SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME ONLY MEN HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF HARNESSING THE RAW POWER OF FIRE, IN COMBINATION WITH THE SHEER, MANLY MAJESTY OF NATURE, TO CREATE DELICIOUS LIFE SUSTAINING MEAT.

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AW YEAH

women bake cookies for dessert indoors or something i dunno

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I don't actually know how to use a grill. But the stove is barely above mysterious for me as well.

But those commercials irritate me too.