| Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) | |
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+13Freezer Inciter anangrychocobo Chaltab Melissa Notomys mordax Wandering Critic grmblfjx unskilled78 EileenK98 Nar aqua mew Zoe9 17 posters |
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Zoe9
Join date : 2009-07-18 Age : 32 Location : Hell
| Subject: Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) Sun Jul 19, 2009 1:42 am | |
| While I was traversing the Pit, I came across a fic titled Poisoned love and bleeding wrists . You could tell that it would be bad from just the summary. - Quote :
- Okay this is a story by my bff, Jade. NO FLAMES! It is really good, trust me. DON'T READ THOUGH IF YOU HATE EMOS! Warning: Self harm
And that is the entire summary. Looks promising, doesn't it? Now that we are all well informed as to what we are reading about, thanks to the summary, grab your choice alcohol and let's dive right in. - Quote :
HI PPL MAH NAME IS JADE I AM FRANKI'S BF LOL. THE STUPID COMPUTER WONT LET ME CREATE AN ACCOUNT, WE MADE FRIENDS AND NOW SHE LET ME POST MY OWN STORY ON HERE BECAUSE SHE SAYS IT IS GOOD.
ANYWAY I WRITE IN CAPITALS LOL CAUSE IT MAKES IT STAND OUT LAUGH OUT LOUD. BASICALLY BEACSUE I LIKE TO STAND OUT IN A CROWD!!!!1 THAT'S RIGHT. IM SCENE BIOTCHEZ!!!!!!!!!! RAWR! BE JEALOS OF MY BIG SMEXY HAIR!!!!!!!!! XD GAH! Quit shouting! Jezz... Are you trying to deafen me? Oh, and just because your BFF Franki tells you it's good doesn't mean it is. -snip- - Quote :
- EDWARD HAD JUST FOUND OUT THAT HE WAS A WIZARD SO
he immediately changed his name to Cedric Diggory and left for Hogwarts. -snip- Bella has conveinently left our wizard!Edward for Jacob, who killed her and then committed suicide. Edward, the Maybelline poster boy, is now emo!Edward too. - Quote :
- SUDDENLY, JUST AS HE WAS THINKING WHETHER HE SHOULD CUT HIS WRISTS
HOW?!?! Is the blade made out of dimonds or something!? He's spending an awful lot of money just to be able to cut. It's not even like he would bleed and the blade would probably still break anyway, so what's the point? I can't take much more of this. It's hard on the eyes. Excuse me while I go kill myself. :headshot: | |
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aqua mew
Join date : 2009-06-16
| Subject: Re: Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) Sun Jul 19, 2009 2:30 am | |
| - Quote :
- RAWR! BE JEALOS OF MY BIG SMEXY HAIR!!!!!!!!! XD
WE ARE ALL JEALOS!!!!!!!!!! XD | |
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Nar
Join date : 2009-07-17
| Subject: Re: Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) Sun Jul 19, 2009 7:15 am | |
| - Quote :
- EDWARD HAD JUST FOUND OUT THAT HE WAS A WIZARD
SO HE WAS HAD CHANGED QUITE ALOT. He'd developed curves in all the right places. - Quote :
- IT TURNS OUT THAT BELLA
REALLY LOVED JACOB SO SHE HAD RUN OFF WITH HIM BUT THEN HE ABUSED HER AND SHE SLIT HER WRISTS BECAUSE SHE WAS DEPRESSED ABOUT IT. SHE REALISED THAT SHE LOVED EDWARD BUT JACOB MURDERED HER AFTER SHE PHONED HIM TO TELL HIM. Wait. I'm sure this can make sense. Bella slit her own wrists, but Jacob made her do it with his werewolf emotion moj - no hang on, that's Jasper. It's really hard to keep track of which lame superpower everyone has. Okay, so Jake paid Jasper to make Bella kill herself, and - no. It'll never make sense. (It's exactly like Twilight in that respect.) - Quote :
- HE FLIPPED THEM
OFF BECAUSE THEY NEEDED TO FUCKING GROW UP A BRAIN IN A PLANT POT - Quote :
- ALSO, BOYS GOT THE WRONG IDEA ABOUT HER BECAUSE SHE HAD BIG
BOBS Two large stuffed dolls of Bob the Builder, sellotaped to her chest. - Quote :
UH GUYS I HAVE A CONFESSION SAID HARRY LOOKING SAD AND EMO I CUT MY WRISTS. - Quote :
SHE RAN AWAY, CRYING AND CUTTING HER WRISTS. EVERYONE GASPED. You know in anime, when people run while crying, the teardrops sort of trail out behind them? I'm seeing that, but with blood. - Quote :
- Bella was always a really
nice girl, although she had been depressed and no one knew why. It turns out that Charlie had been abusing and raping her and stuff. "Yeah, that was a downer." This can't be serious, can it? | |
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EileenK98 Recovering Fanbrat
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 55 Location : very, very close to Chris
| Subject: Re: Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) Sun Jul 19, 2009 7:29 am | |
| Oh dear God, an entire chapter written in all caps. My brain, my brain! | |
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unskilled78 Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-03 Age : 34 Location : a hell of his own creation.
| Subject: Re: Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) Sun Jul 19, 2009 12:45 pm | |
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grmblfjx Hot and Botherer
Join date : 2009-06-10
| Subject: Re: Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) Sun Jul 19, 2009 1:20 pm | |
| SOUNDS INCREDIBLY MUCH LIKE A TROLL. IS IT ONE OF OURS? - aqua mew wrote:
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- Quote :
- RAWR! BE JEALOS OF MY BIG SMEXY HAIR!!!!!!!!! XD
WE ARE ALL JEALOS!!!!!!!!!! XD
THAT'S NO HAIR | |
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Wandering Critic Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-11
| Subject: Re: Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) Sun Jul 19, 2009 3:43 pm | |
| Gotta be a troll.
Not because of the writing, per se (we've seen just as bad, though maybe without the caps) but because of the author's reaction to the reviews. He/she/it is just egging people on. | |
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Notomys mordax
Join date : 2009-06-03
| Subject: Re: Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) Sun Jul 19, 2009 5:49 pm | |
| IF SHE WAS REALLY AN EMO KID/FANBRAT SHE'D KNOW THAT AFI'S TOTALIMMORTAL IS ONE WORD. | |
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Melissa Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-13 Age : 45
| Subject: Re: Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) Sun Jul 19, 2009 6:38 pm | |
| When I first saw this, I thought "Please don't be a cutter fic!" It has been nearly five years since my last black out and I don't want to break the streak. However, this fic is so clumsily written that I don't feel the leastthtgfgdsdskwap .....LOL, J/K. | |
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Chaltab Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Join date : 2009-07-19 Age : 36 Location : Outside the middle of nowhere
| Subject: Re: Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:20 pm | |
| I'm pretty sure this is a troll, but they do manage some humor. Or at least I thought it was funny. IE: - Quote :
- "Man I'm so fucking pissed off," said Harry, starting to smoke some pot. "Want one?" He said, offering Crystle a cigarette.
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anangrychocobo Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-13
| Subject: Re: Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:54 pm | |
| I'll tell you what this needs. A dramatic reading. | |
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Inciter Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 34 Location : My sexual fantasty world
| Subject: Re: Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:57 pm | |
| - Quote :
- "Man I'm so fucking pissed off," said Harry, starting to smoke some pot. "Want one?" He said, offering Crystle a cigarette.
:roflmao: - Quote :
- Anyway we all stayed up untill 2:AM, doing drugs, cutting our wrists and listening to all the cool bands that we talked about on the train.
And then they died from a combination of drug overdose and blood loss. The end. - Quote :
- EDWARD WAS MAKING OUT WITH HERMIKNIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah, Hermione's evil twin Hermiknie. I was wondering if she'd appear in this fic. What an obvious troll. | |
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Freezer Epic-Level Pornomancer
Join date : 2009-06-10 Age : 50 Location : Memphis, TN
| Subject: Re: Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) Mon Jul 20, 2009 2:39 am | |
| - Quote :
- HI PPL MAH NAME IS JADE
HI JADE! - Quote :
- I AM FRANKI'S BF LOL.
Good for you, I guess. - Quote :
- THE STUPID COMPUTER WONT LET ME CREATE AN ACCOUNT, WE MADE FRIENDS AND NOW SHE LET ME POST MY OWN STORY ON HERE BECAUSE SHE SAYS IT IS GOOD.
Almost as good as mah Inglish! - Quote :
- ANYWAY I WRITE IN CAPITALS LOL CAUSE IT MAKES IT STAND OUT LAUGH OUT LOUD.
Not fifty words in and I already want to throttle this twit. - Quote :
- BASICALLY BEACSUE I LIKE TO STAND OUT IN A CROWD!!!!1 THAT'S RIGHT. IM SCENE BIOTCHEZ!!!!!!!!!! RAWR! BE JEALOS OF MY BIG SMEXY HAIR!!!!!!!!! XD
Do I really want to know what kind of SUGAHI OMG WAI fanbrat thinks this is amusing? - Quote :
- ANYWAY I DECIDED THAT EDWARD IS SEXY AND HARRY IS SEXY SO THIS IS MAH CROSSOVER OH AND ON'T READ IF YOU HATE US EMOS/SCENE KIDS. FLAMES WILL BE LAUGHED AT. JUST REMEMBER THAT HATERS MAKE US FAMOUS XD
Just remember that the person who said "Any publicity is good publicity" was wrong - Quote :
- I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT, HARRY POTTER OR ANY OF THE BANDS I MENTION.
Mentioning bands: Fanbrat for "Abandon All Hope..." - Quote :
- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------- Probably the best written lines of the fic. - Quote :
- IT WAS THE START OF A NEW YEAR AT HOGWARTS. EDWARD HAD JUST FOUND OUT THAT HE WAS A WIZARD SO HE WAS HAD CHANGED QUITE ALOT.
Edward was the latest bloomer ever. - Quote :
IT TURNS OUT THAT BELLA REALLY LOVED JACOB She decided she liked her boyfriends less creepy stalkerish. - Quote :
- SO SHE HAD RUN OFF WITH HIM BUT THEN HE ABUSED HER AND SHE SLIT HER WRISTS BECAUSE SHE WAS DEPRESSED ABOUT IT.
ALL THIS SHOUTING IS MAKING MY BRAIN HURT! - Quote :
- SHE REALISED THAT SHE LOVED EDWARD BUT JACOB MURDERED HER AFTER SHE PHONED HIM TO TELL HIM.
He murdered her over the phone? Neat! - Quote :
- THEN JACOB COMMITTED SUICIDE BY SLITTING HIS WRISTS.
Of course, since he's a werewolf, he had to use a chainsaw to be sure. - Quote :
- NOW EDWARD WAS ALOT DIFFERENT.
I believe you mentioned that already. Now make with the "How", 'K? - Quote :
- HE WAS ALWAYS QUIET AND MOODY. PEOPLE FOUND HIM SPOOKY EVENTHOUGH HE WAS ALWAYS SO HAWT AND ANGSTY XD.
*SMACK* Bad Narrator! No lusting after the Sparklepire! - Quote :
- EDWARD HAD DYED HIS HAIR BLACK WITH BLONDE STREAKS AND HIS FRINGE HAD GROWN SO IT FELL MYSTERIOUSLY OVER HIS EYES. HE SPIKED UP THE BACK OF HIS HAIR AND NOW HAS SNAKEBITES.
And we're not supposed to think of him as a weirdo? - Quote :
- TODAY, AS HE GOT ON THE TRAIN TO HOGWARTS, HE WAS WEARING A SEXY TIGHT BLACK "AFI" TOP COS THOSES GUYS ARE SO SEXAH! (A.N: EDWARD IS BI.)
Oh course he is. - Quote :
- AND BLACK SKINNY JEANS WITH A STUDDED BELT WITH A SKULL AND WITH CHECKED CONVERSE. HE SAW SOME GIRLS SQEAL AT HIS HAWTNESS WORDS WORDS OMG WORDS!
Asylum Freezer-Vision! - Quote :
- THE GIRL WAS ONE OF HIS RARE FRIENDS. SHE WAS DEPRESSED TOO AND WAS VERY VERY PRETTY. HER NAME WAS CRYSTLE HAVOK
Of the Birmingham Havoks. - Quote :
- (SHE WAS HIS DAVEY HAVOK FROM AFI'S COUSIN)
I don't know who that is. Nor do I care. Moving on... - Quote :
- SHE HAD LONG BLACK AND BLONDE SCENE HAIR WITH BLUE STREAKS AND MATCHING, SPARKLING BLUE EYES. SHE HAD WHITE FLAWLESS SKIN (SHE IS A VAMPIRE)
Well of course she is! Okay, let's hit the fast forward and see if we can find some actually Harry Potter characters. - Quote :
- WORDSWORDSWORDSWORDS...
"HI," SAID THE BOY WITH BLACK HAIR (HE LOOKED KINDA LIKE GERARD WAY) "CAN WE SIT HERE? EVERYWHERE ELSE IS FULL." I must assume she's talking about Book!Harry, because A) Dan Radcliffe looks nothing like Gerard Way and B) Radcliffe has brown hair. - Quote :
- "YEAH WHATEVER," SAID EDWARD, NOT REALLY LISTENING.#
"HEY GIRL, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" HERMIONIE ASKED CRYSTLE.
"IM CRYSTLE SHE REPLIES. Of the Highland Replies. - Quote :
- COOL LOL. MY NAME IS HERMIONIE" SHE LOOKED MAD, I FUCKING HATE THAT NAME.
Um... Okay? - Quote :
- I'M HARRY SAID HARRY.
IM RON REPLIED RON!" I'm Bored replied Bored, er... Freezer | |
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Misscripted
Join date : 2009-07-16 Location : Middle of Nowhere
| Subject: Re: Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) Mon Jul 20, 2009 3:51 pm | |
| - Quote :
- RAWR SHE SAID TO CHEER EDWARD UPHE SMILED FAINTLY.
Yes, because saying "RAWR" is the best way to cheer someone up. I suppose everyone's supposed to be scene in this story? The next paragraph makes my brain hurt with all of the character alterations. Seriously? I hope this is a troll. | |
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Rabid Badger And This is Why I Need Medication
Join date : 2009-06-10
| Subject: Re: Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) Mon Jul 20, 2009 6:55 pm | |
| I'm still waiting for the author to explain how Edward could slit his wrists. And what good it would do, since he's DEAD AND HAS NO BLOOD IN HIS BODY!
Sorry, the author's shouting gets to you after a while. | |
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Zoe
Join date : 2009-07-22 Location : Standing firm on the Shield
| Subject: Re: Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) Wed Jul 22, 2009 11:38 pm | |
| - Quote :
- Harry looked like he was thinking for a moment and suddenly he burst out. "I WAS DEPRESSED BY VOLDEMORT!!!!!!!!!!!"
I gasped. Sweet Eru, what a plot twist! :shocked: | |
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rachel Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-07-19
| Subject: Re: Their poisoned love and our bleeding eyes (TwilightXHarry Potter) Thu Jul 23, 2009 4:51 am | |
| - Quote :
- "CRYSTLE! (See? I got it right that time and she is not a Mary Sue!)
No, really? Is that why her name rhymes with "gristle?" | |
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