A young colt named Thunder Chaser gets left on the side of the road and finds two young fillies named Note Crusher and Dark Rebellion who let him join their family. A few years later, Dark Rebellion gets mad when Thunder falls in love with her sister instead of herself, so she tries to take over Equestria
I hate to think what happens if someone cuts in front of her in the grocery store queue.
It was a nice, sunny day in Pony Ville,
As the pony who wrote the "Welcome to" sign was getting fired.
as Note Crusher and Dark Rebellion
"Hitler von Killington" being too subtle.
played in their front yard. As they were yelling and galloping towards each other! Something appeared in the distance…
I have a bad feeling about this.
it was a colt. Note Crusher paused a gleam appeared in her eye. It was like they were the only two ponies in the world. Then she walks to him.
"You're not Prince Martin Willis? EW! No thanks!"
“ who are you?” she questioned him.
"And where were you on the night of Tuesday the 18th November 2014?"
getting lost into Notes eyes
Note Crusher said, “I’m Note Crusher and that’s my sister Dark Rebellion.”
Again, that really should set the alarm bells ringing.
Note Crusher, “ we are good.
Well, one of us isn't.
Some time goes by since then and the three are very very good friends but Thunder Chaser has a very strong liking towards Note Crusher. He has liked her for along time now, and she has liked him. The thing is Dark Rebellion likes Thunder as well and she doesn’t know the other two like each other.
It's not as though she'd take it any better if she did know.
Thunder, “ the reason I’m here is because I was abandoned by my parents. They dropped me off in the middle of nowhere and they kept my younger brother. They didn’t want me anymore. And his name.. is Lightning Chaser.”
Looks like we need to sound the cliche klaxon!
Dark got so mad and angry that Thunder told Note but not her. She set off on a journey to find Thunders Brother. She finally made it to the house and when she knocked on the door a pony was standing before her.
"Hello, do you have a few minutes to talk about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ?"
Dark, “hello I’m looking for Lightning Chaser. Is he around?”
"Is this a joke? He went to the chair three years ago!"
Lightning Chaser, “that’s me. Can I help you?”
"Yes, I'll have six cupcakes please."
Next time on The Rebellion!: The one who rules all... (surprisingly, not Celestia.)
Join date : 2012-05-21 Age : 45 Location : I live in the US. Nanako lives in Kasukabe.
Subject: Re: The rebellion! Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:33 am
Some time goes by since then and the three are very very good friends but Thunder Chaser has a very strong liking towards Note Crusher. He has liked her for along time now, and she has liked him. The thing is Dark Rebellion likes Thunder as well and she doesn’t know the other two like each other wrote:
Sounds like a summary. Maybe the author stuck two stories together because they didn't work on their own?
Chris91 Knight of the Bleach
Join date : 2009-06-13 Age : 53 Location : Salem, Mass., USA
Subject: Re: The rebellion! Wed Nov 26, 2014 8:40 am
Or maybe the author's just plain dumb.
Join date : 2013-05-05 Location : Where the lonely people come from
Subject: Re: The rebellion! Thu Nov 27, 2014 7:09 pm
With the pony names, some authors can do it, and some can't.
This author needs an entirely new category for himself only.
TheIan Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Join date : 2009-06-12 Location : Dining car on the Train of Time, DenLiner
Subject: Re: The rebellion! Fri Nov 28, 2014 5:18 pm
Note Crusher? Dark Rebellion? These are not pony names. These are indie-punk bands that only hipsters would deny you've ever heard of. I'm all for originality and creative generation, but when it comes to naming characters, you have to be clever. Not to flaunt my own Bronyism, but I happen to have a few characters of my own: Silk Strings, Pencil Scratch, Sky Castle (This one I'm proud of most and like better than the others), Lightspeed, and Chrono Shift (It was a weird role-playing group). The naming conventions have to come from knowing what your character is going to do. Sky Castle is a writer, and his name reflects his imaginative works. Silk Strings is a prodigal violinist. I see a name like Note Crusher and I think of some pony who's just really bad at singing. Dark Rebellion isn't even a good name. It's a terrible punk band.
Join date : 2011-05-16
Subject: Re: The rebellion! Fri Nov 28, 2014 7:04 pm