I'd like to start by saying that I don't have the knee jerk hate for Avril that, uh, everyone else seems to. Sk8ter Boi was good. Complicated was good. I'm With You wasn't terrible. Frankly, much like Taylor Swift, her ability to play instruments and kind of write her own music makes her better than 90% of popshits in my mind. Particularly Katy Perry. Fuck Katy Perry.
Roar is the worst song I've ever heard.
Until I heard Hello Kitty
The only thing worse than the song is the goddamn video. The song is ear rape, which, after hearing Nirvana's Lithium played ad nauseum on the radio, I've gotten used to. The video adds eye rape to the equation and I can't take having that many holes being violated at once. I guess part of me is just jealous that I'll never be able to make a living spouting incoherent gibberish while dressed and made up like a Punk/Goth Japanese Clown. The rest of me is trying to find the earplugs I used to great effect in my Accounting Information Systems class. It's hard to even critique the song because after the first five seconds my brain has shut down so it doesn't melt.
But those first five seconds are a doozy. The video starts off with Avril acting "quirky," for lack of a better word that won't offend retards, and "singing" in a pitch so high I'm surprised human ears can hear it, "Mina sako arigato, kawaii!" According to YouTube comments, this means "You rock, thank you, CUTE!" It will also be scribbled on the padded walls of my cell if I ever managed to listen to more than half the song, resulting in a complete psychotic break.
It goes on about a fat kid and Smarties and she keeps stuttering which was kind elegant when Lady Gaga did it but somehow seems tacky and asinine in this instance. Really, the entire things seems almost like a fuck you to J-Pop. Like when the video debuted Avril was sitting on a throne of skulls, looking into a black crystal ball like goddamn Queen Beryl, going "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU JAPAN THIS IS FOR PEARL HARBOR!!1!"
Off Topic: I brought up Taylor Swift earlier. Two questions:
1.) If you had to listen to either TSwift's music or Avril's music for the rest of your life, which would you choose?
2.) If you had to fuck one of TSwift or Avril, and could only fuck one of TSwift or Avril, which would you fuck?