There is a joke/reference here that is far too easy.

Donkey Sex Suspect, Says It's His Constitutional Right To Have Sex With Animals

Yeah.

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A Florida man accused of having sex with a miniature donkey named Doodle [...]

Holy shit

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is protected by the United States Constitution, his lawyers say.

Alternate source

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Lawyers representing a Marion County man accused of sexual activity with a miniature donkey have filed a motion asking a judge to declare the Florida statute banning sexual activities with animals unconstitutional.

I... I can't...

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In the motion filed in Marion County court on Dec. 6, the assistant public defenders handling Romero's case — Joshua Wyatt, Scott Schmidt and Joshua Lukman — wrote that the statute infringes upon Romero's due process rights and violates the equal protection clause of the Fourteenth Amendment in the U.S. Constitution.

Now, I'm a godless Brit used to a convoluted, archaic lwgal system and as such I have little to no understanding of the Constitution or its Amendments. So off to wikipedia:

Presumably this bit:

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No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States;

Thereby classifying animal abuse as a privilege of an American citizen, correct?

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The 32-year-old previously rejected a plea deal that would have required a year of probation, a $200 fine, a psychosexual evaluation and possible treatment, STD testing, no contact with children in a school setting, no ownership or possession of any mammals and revocation of his license to work in horse racing.

... I got nothing.

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But, when Marion County detectives questioned him about the incident, he allegedly admitted that, when the donkey is in heat, he will stand behind her, scratch her withers and masturbate. He says he "likes the way her fur feels on his privates,"

That's it... I'm out.

Huh. I half expected the donkey to be named Macaroni.

WD40 wrote:

Now, I'm a godless Brit used to a convoluted, archaic lwgal system and as such I have little to no understanding of the Constitution or its Amendments. So off to wikipedia:

Presumably this bit:

Quote :

No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States;

Thereby classifying animal abuse as a privilege of an American citizen, correct?

Courtroom Mikey says that the "Privileges and Immunities of citizen of the United States" means constitutionally protect rights such as the right to free speech and the right to bear arms. Really, the states are allowed to make any law they feel like, provided it doesn't infringe upon Constitutional rights.

PS: To clarify, fucking a donkey is not yet a Constitutional right.