In celebration of this internet goddesses apparant return to the forum (seeing as the password was ebayed and all) I am re-posting my snark from GAFF of this AFF hosted TF FF
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]Back on GAFF there were two main types of review with many sub types. Long, detailed paragraphs with an occasional quote of fic; the quote being most not needed as the reviewer droned on and on about subtext, text, supertext and a lot of the sort of thing that certain users of tvtropes inexplicably think they invented. The other main type which I specialised in was to take an out of context quote from a story and try to put an amusing one liner with it. The second type of review could often be seen infuriating the intellectual forum members who wanted Ebert et al. Which was a benefit in itself.
Anyhoo, The most popular subtype of that review type was to take the out of context line and put an incredibly, mindbendingly, appallingly unfunny one liner with it - which Miss Misery specialised in.
(Oh, and a shitbucket of stock shot about sporks, bleach, the brain tearing terror of one obscure anime character being shown in a relationship with another even more obscure character until quamp shit his pants in rage around half way down and calmed down a bit.)
Quite why I wrote out two paragraphs of oddness before re-posting this shite is forgotten.
The re-run begins here:
I never did get to impregnate Harley with Mutant Bastard Offspring. The world has been saved domination by our ravening progeny. You all ought to be grateful for the scheduling conflict.
So... Lockdown some kinda Pirate is he? Would explain how he whups a Ninja so easy [/old meme]
Blind And DeafOr "Why you shouldn't ejaculate into eyes and ears."
There was loads of Prow/Lockdown stuff.Lockdown fucks the front end of boats. It's official.
All this over-modification... it doesn’t really feel like ‘me’.”Pimp my Autobot?
He tried to turn his head to see what was going on, but could only see to either side of him and in front. Currently, in front of him consisted of a metal table.Tablebot never gets no respect from the other transformers.
“Now you’re probably wondering what I’m gonna do with you,” Lockdown said, standing in a place Prowl couldn’t see, “That’s a pretty good question, Autobot.”"So just you lie here a spell and read through Harley's back catalogue. That should answer any questions you might have."
He knew that Lockdown oozed a malicious kind of charmLater discovered to be motor oil.
“Then you picked up a couple of upgrades and BAM!”"Suddenly you could run Windows Vista!"
He wasn’t going to do a Primus-damned thing for that intergalactic pirate.I KNEW IT! Arrhhhh maties! Splice the main brace! Ninja buggery ahoy! Blow the man down, bullies!
Lockdown grinned as he heard the gasp, and began to rub Prowl’s armour with the cloth, slowly and firmly, in circles. The cyberninja was very attractive – perhaps more so than he believed – but because he spent so much time around organic life-forms, he was often grubby, or had dried dirt on him. The shine began to come through, “Two coats should do it...” he purred down at Prowl.Harley is the only GAFFer ever arrested for masturbating at the car wash.
Prowl was vaguely aware that his body was shaking in pleasure, that his vocals were groaning and whimpering in a combination of pleasure and pain, but his CPU wasn’t connected to either of these actions."...it was was CMOS battery powering it! The time keeping slut!"
The only way to get through this with his sanity and a small measure of his dignity intact was to lie as still as possible and wait until it was over, then get the frag out of here."Lie back and think of Cybertron."
He looked, quite frankly, as if every sexual act conceivable had been carried out on him.The Transformer Cleveland Steamer must've been pretty tough to pull off.
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