Yup, doing another one, this one much more snark worthy. The broken blossom is by layshalovetheakatsuk on FF.net. I believe it is a troll, for the format of the story is so hideous and repulsive that no sane person could have wrote this. I think I'm gonna need help with this one. Thank God it's only two chapters long and only around 1,300 words.
Ayame: Wait, why am I here? I'm not even part of this fandom.
KF727: Doesn't matter; you're a ninja, and the female protagonist of your own series. I'm getting sick of all these Sakura fics where she's just pairing fodder; same with any other of the K12 girls and Tsunade/Karin etc. Plus, I needed a deadpan snarker and neither of my regulars wanted in on this.
Ayame: Damn, how'd I get roped into this one? How many fics are we going to do?
KF727: Hmm...I've found like two or three. They're quick and easy, hopefully.
Ayame: Are you a masochist?
KF: Possibly. I've never truly considered the question. Alright now onto the fic by layshalovetheakatsuk!blossom the broken in the beging the introw I DO NOT OR WILL I EVER OWN NARUTO I CAN WISH BUT I DO NOT. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SPELLING CUZ IM A VERY BAD SPELLER.
Ayame: That's nice. I've met dyslexic people who could spell better than this.
KF: I'm pretty sure most five year olds can do better. I won't be surprised if she ends up using this as her excuse.Why did that bitch do this i did nothing wrong. They were my friends and my family I trust them. And they do this belive that slut over me. Fuck them and that village. they can all burn in the firer pits of hell.
YOU GO OUTER inner where the hell have you been.sorry outer but i left to the darkest part of you mind cuz i thought you didn't want or need me. inner sakura said with a sad smile and glassly red eyes.
Ayame: Am I still in hell?
KF: No, but it sure looks like it.
Ayame: I can't read this...it's like she vomited on a keyboard.
KF: I'd say more like gave birth on one. No your right inner i thoung i didn't need you. but i was wrong i need and want you back. YEAH IM NEVER GOING TO LEAVE YOU AGAINE. After all we are all we have now lests go. INNER AS LONG AS IM STILL IM STILL AFILE IM GOING TO BURN THIS VILLAGE TO THE GROUND THIS VILLAGE WILL NEVER RISE AGAING. right now lest get stonge.
Ayame: Wait, so Inner Sakura has angina?
KF: Seems she's lost some files too. Check the temp folder.that was 2 years ago Im grown and got stonger over the last 2 years. Im 18 now a s-rank crimial. I still have my my cotten candy pink hair that i grow out. Now it goes down to my midd back im big green eyes never lost that innscent look unforunately. Maybe not it does help on misson they never see it going. Im more curvy now in all the rigth places. I have big boobs not to sound to selfconfint. But in the end im very pretty that what all the man say anyways be for i kill them. But after i kill them or if they make me mad i make them watch as i in plant chreey blosomes petals on there backs. It how I leave my mark.
Ayame: I think she means coming.
KF: THAT'S the one thing you choose to point out?
Ayame: So she looks the same, except apparently she's supposed to be sexier, and paints Cherry Blossoms on her dead victims bodies? These Naruto folks don't sound like real ninjas.
KF: They're more or less ninja wizards; more so the latter as the former element has almost vanished completely.
Ayame: I see...If she was a criminal, who would be giving her missions? Why would anyone want to work with a criminal besides trying to backstab her and get her killed or captured?
KF: Logic does not work with SI fics; just go with the flow. It'll be easier that way.Im on my way to rain country I have to keep moving. Alot of people would like to see me died nver stay in a place for to long. I still hate the leaf with a passion Im still geting stonger every day i have onlock a lot of block off memorys that the leaf tryed to keep from me but thanks to inner i know now. im from a very stong clean of female fighter. female cuz l-o-o-g ago my clan was stong be for but got even stonger cuz the god of death and evil. Was lock insaid a young girl beacues of this my clan was favort of the gods and im the lost princess the demon was pass down. But they didn't like have talking people or a demon in there head so they rejeackt there inner and never was never eble to use it power.
KF: So she's a human container for a demon god now? Random clan that is stronger than anyone else? Check. I smell a Mary Sue.
Ayame: Glad my fandom doesn't have that many fanfics.
KF: Lost Princess too? There are no words right now. We must continue. But i was diffent in more was then one first off Im the only one in my clan to have pink hair and green eyes most of the people in my clan as blood red like inner hair or sliver, they can really have jeat black hair only the person holding the demon has red eys like inner or gray but look at me now. huh i was the only one in my clan after the leaf attock the old farts thoung my can was to stong and thoungt my people would turn on them. But really in truth they were scard cuz when we get mad or we except ower inner we turn or if ower inner take over ower body when i transform i have pinkys whites hair with blood eyes that would but the taild best to shame. inner told me all of this god i love her so.
Ayame: Color changing hair and eyes, how original. I thought Rikimaru was bad with an eye technique out of nowhere, but at least it was re-gone.
KF: This is giving me a headache. So is this Inner her Inner Sakura or the demon god? I think it's Sakura but how the hell would she know this at all? Her Inner is just the reflection of her Inner side, kind of like the Shadows in Persona.
Onto Chapter 2.charter 2 broken blossom Time skip of two days In rain
Ohh my kami it been so long since i had a hot bath and a nice warm bed al-
SHUT THE HELL UP OUTER you know why we can't take the streets. I know I'm just tired of running so much. And all of this damn ninja hunters. Then maybe you should of just stayed in the leaf.... sakura say some thing. No am not talking to you said sakura pushing inner away sakura knelt down on her knees but her hand flat on to the earth flat texture. her had trued green with chark. ( sakura chark is pink/blue/green-ish inner chark is a firer red)
Ayame: How can one's Ki be three colors?
KF: More traits that label her as a Sue. So is she mentally insane? Does she have multiple personality disorder? It sure seems like she has some problems going on here. I can't be damned to figure them out though. thank you great earth for helping me on my journey. sakura said in the most softs voice. in return the earth made a unreal sound SA-KU-RA im sorry inner said with fake anime tears running down her face. i just role my eyes i got up of the ground start to walk to the nesters village ignoring inner protest. sakura are you crazy there could be ninja hunter in there. And the fucken akatsaki could be running around in there. inner i need some new close a hot bath and plus no hunter would be stupid enough to walk in there and im on there said now they have no reason to attack us.
what ever we got at lest 2-3 hours to we get to the nearts village
yea i new you still love me.
Two hours before sakura and inner got to rain
KF: They don't really pray or have much of a religion in Naruto, so why the sudden druidic thing going on here?Have you seen a young woman with long pink hair with green eyes. A man with black hair and red eyes with moving things said in a very deep voice
n-n-no i-i hav-e se-en any wo-man with pi- the man spit up some blood. I if I find out that any of you lied or tell any one about this he had a smirk on his handsome face now you will all die. come on kisama-sama woh itach i never seen you get to work up what up. said a big muscular blue shark looking man to his partner. He just ignored the blue man a disappeared in to a big red cloud of smock the shark man soon followed.
Back with sakura P.O.V.
Ayame: So these are the ninja hunters?
KF: Terrorist organization actually. Have to have a common enemy that will bring everyone together right?Where are the quotation marks? What is happening? There are no actions in this sequence, no verbs at all really. How are supposed to know what is going on?
Ayame: Use our imagination, probably? Or the Suethor couldn't be half assed enough to write out a proper scene, much less a whole fanfic.Some things not right what do you mean A we are in rain and shut up and let me finish
B it has not rain not once and not to mention the villager are scary shit less of us what up with that maybe people Findlay see how power we are hahaha evil laugh no that not it damn it outer always got to rune my fun. I what every but no jack what up. will why you was bitching I did a chark swipe I did find small trays of a very power full chark but it was not enough to till if we new them. wow inner I wouldn't know what to do with my self with out you. Why I was just chatting it up with inner I didn't see a very young man staring at me.
The young man P.O.V
That the woman that freak was talking about wow she is very beautiful I wonder what he wants with something so innocent. Maybe I should tell her but if I do he meant find out and kill me. Some thing soft touch me on my burnt arm.
don't worry im a medic ninja then her hand start to tuner green with some pink mix in it then my burnt arm tuend green I was scard at fist but it didn't hurt any more I felt nice. be for I new it it was over she started to walk a way I ginly grad her arm and thank you very much for healing me my vico got light there was this man with long black hair with red eyes and another guy or fish I don't know but they were here about two hours ago they were looking for you with that said I jump on to the wigan and yelled a goodbye and hit down the rode going to the next village that is miles away from here
Ayame: What the fuck just happened here? Why would she help someone if she is trying to avoid being caught? Won't that draw attention to her?
KF: And what the fuck is a 'vico'?
Ayame: vehicle? Vision? Viagra?
KF: Hopefully it's not the last one.Sakua P.O.V
SHIT SHIT SHIT WHAT THE HELL DON'T JUST STAND THERE. THEY COULD BE STILL IN THE AREA. damn it I should of listen I use inner chark to make us go faster than any ninja should go I had to get out of rain get they hell a way from anything rain damn it there are no more frosted around here I had to stop and think where the hell I should go. Umm miss I hope your not trying to leave the village are you?
I narrowed my eyes at the old man
why should I leave the village. Was just a the edge of the village border I unconsciously start to grip my ax/hammer that can change it size and other (thing but that not importan right now) it just that it a big stom coming how leader hower great and power god has been blocking most of the shomer but the barrier going to break soon but it still very dangers for some one so young to be out in this weather I have a inn just a few blocks from here. sakura we should stay till morning if what he says is and the young man from earlier said is true. We will not make it in a fight in the rain trust me sakura it will not end will Your right. ok I followed the old man back to the end. this could be a trap I know what to do I will just have to stay up all night. No you need your energy even if I take control your body needs to be in shap you know this. then what should I do I cant fall asleep so they could kill me in my sleep. I will keep watch over you why you sleep but if they do try any thing the bored is right there to hind and make owner escape
Ayame: Okay so things are starting to make sense now. She has no more frosted flakes and has to leave the village to get more.
KF: Makes about as much sense as anything else so far.
Ayame: And she has a hammeraxe that can shift its shape and size? And now there is a 'power god'?
KF: I think he means 'Pain' the village leader, whom the people see as a god. Honestly, this is where the fic ends and I'm tired so I can't do the rest just yet. This is all this particular author has written at this time, though.