Return of the Outrageous Lies About the Previous Poster!

John Castle wants to buy Stonehenge, tear down the stones, and build a Pizza Hut in their place.

^^Oh, now that's just mean.

Chris91's butt was knighted by the Queen of England. Not Chris91 -- just his butt.

John Castle is applying for a job as the new press spokesman for the Ferguson, Missouri police department.

Chris91 is the reason why the Twelfth Doctor is such a jerk.

John Castle refused to take the ice bucket challenge unless the water was warm.

While Lady Anne may never have been kicked out of bed for eating crackers, she was once kicked out of a cracker factory for eating beds.

John Castle has been kicked out of every nightclub in the continental United States and half the nightclubs in Alaska and Hawaii.

Chris91 once impersonated Toucan Sam to infiltrate a Froot Loops factory.

Half John Castle's paycheck goes to support a crippling Cheez-Wiz addiction.

Sheba once walked right up to Peter Capaldi, poked him in the chest with her index finger, and called him "a goat-faced cotton-headed stick-insect CUNT".

Which Peter Capaldi thought was both amusing and impressive.

So she called him English.

That made him cry.

John Castle once killed an entire North Korean army platoon using only a string and a box of Ritz crackers.

Chris91 plays Minecraft with Kim Jong Un.

Lady Anne has been named as "person of interest" in a rash of billboard defacements in southern Florida.

Chris91 "eats" potato chips by stuffing them into his ears, nose, and conjunctiva, then leaving them there until they dissolve.

John Castle thinks Downton Abbey would be better if it had more explosions.

Half of North Korea's prisoners were falsely convicted of being Chris91.

KJM often speaks in grunts and screams and frequently shouts, "I am going to eat this oak stump because I am a powerful wizard."

TheIan snuck into a WWE event disguised as Antonio Cesaro and immediately got challenged to a match by Mark Henry-- and won.

On the 13th of every month, Chris91 prays to cardboard cutout of Hannah Montana and Lizzie McGuire.

Layla's mom said they could be anything, so Layla became an abomination of God!

TheIan invaded Ukraine with an army of mice, and is now planning to use kittens to invade the Vatican.

Lady Anne is Justin Bieber's designated driver.

Layla builds death rays and then dismantles them just for fun.

Chris91 regularly uses his time machine to go back in time and have homoerotic sleepovers with various historical figures.

Nin owes more than $1 billion in parking tickets....and she doesn't even drive.