Outrealm High, a Mortal Kombat highschool fic

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No, no, it's quite alright. Your eyes are not going, cancel that laser eye surgery appointment. This is indeed a story about the daughter of Sonya and the sadistic, merciless, opportunistic all-out violent lunatic Kano.

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People call me juvenile all the time; I get that a lot. I just like to think of it as continuing my father's...legacy...or whatever you want to call it.

You mean the whole arms trafficking, drug pushing, kidnapping, assassination, extortion, and general violent crime? Sounds like a swell legacy to me.

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I've been raised by my mentor and godfather, Scorpion for fourteen years now in outrealm.

Outrealm? WTF is Outrealm? I know there's Outworld, but Outrealm, now thats a new one.

Also, I can't imagine how a guy like Scorpion comes to be even remotely bothered to take anyone under his wing.

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Shang Tsung, [...] brought together the most infamous beings ever to be named. He concluded that together, they should produce offsprings in order to raise and train to someday overthrow Raiden's still-growing army.

Oh boy, imagine how all this played out. "Hey guys, wanna hear my brilliant plan? LOTS AND LOTS OF SEX! Am I a genious or what?"

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they felt that plan was very unsanitary

Who knows where Reptile has been?

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But...most the residentsliked the idea of producing their own offsprings to pass on their knowledge and wisdom to.

And I'm sure that was it

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Mileena and Baraka produced a beautiful Tarkatan girl and named her Millicent. Though she was full-blooded Tarkatan, she had no Tarkatan teeth whatsoever! As a matter of fact, she was beauty personified.

full-blooded tarkatan.

you know, those guys with the giant swords in their arms and big row of fangs lining their mugs? The same teeth that Mileena uses to tear people's throats out? Yeah. A Tarkatan with no Tarkatan teeth.

Brilliant.

Skipping through the other mutts being spawned...

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And last but not least, there's me, Sonny. I'm just one of those typical fourteen year old girls who aregoing through that whole rebellious phase. My father, Kano and my mother, Sonya Blade aren't really the best of friends.

To say the least, huh. Well at least they're not a happy couple. Imagine this being a 60's sitcom

"Eeek! Kano, dear! There's a mutilated body in our cellar!"

"Well a' course there is! Where else am I supposed to stuff 'im, in the closet?"

*laugh track*

Ha ha, no. What really happens is Kano goes and rapes Sonya so she can pop out a Sue. Like this shit has no consequence or anything.

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...Raiden decided to counter-act on Shang Tsung's operation. He gathered the forces of good together and proceeded to mimick Shang Tsung's plan.

Raiden: I have forseen Shang Tsung's ultimate goal, and I believe the best way to prevent him from realizing it is by beating him at his own game.

Kung Lao: You mean... doing it?

Raiden: Yes. Frequently. The more we sow the seeds of future Earthrealm warriors, the greater our chance of defeating Shang Tsung.

Cage: ... and I thought I was a pig.

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Raiden, Liu Kang, and Uncle J(Jax), all had children with females from earthrealm

Yes, Liu Kang, whom we can assume is a walking, rotting, souless corpse.

"C'mere Kang honey, show me your dragon roll"

"GWARRRRRRRRRRRR hssssch *snort*"

"Oooooooooo I just love it when you talk dirty"

more once I stop frothing at the mouth

What the everloving fuck is this shit?

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My father, Kano and my mother, Sonya Blade aren't really the best of friends.

No fucking shit!

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[Sonya] was in Shang Tsung's palace, and shackled to the walls of his dungeon in outrealm. Dad then proceeded to rape Mom, and through her slow suffering, she eventually gave bith to me.

Oh... Lovely...

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I've been raised by my mentor and godfather, Scorpion

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Mentor

Scorpion will only give a shit about you if you are either actually Shirai-Ryu or if you are Quan Chi. That's it. [edit: Or possibly Shinnok - But who the fuck remembers him, right?]

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godfather

No. Just, no.

(Leaving aside why Scorpion would not pick up such a role, who would even ask him to do so? Whose idea is it to have the rape-offspring of Kano and Sonya baptised? Is Kano a fucking catholic now?

Who did the service? I mean, Havik's a priest, I suppose. But I wouldn't trust him with a child...)

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Mileena and Baraka produced a beautiful Tarkatan girl and named her Millicent.

There is so much stupid in this sentence I don't even know where to begin. Leaving aside Mileena's numerous attempts on Baraka's life in order to gain control of the Tarkartan people, and Baraka's blood-oath to kill the purple psycho with his own blades in return... Let's just look at the next sentence:

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Though she was full-blooded Tarkatan,

HOW? Mileena isn't even a proper Tarkartan herself! She's a genetic experiment!

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she had no Tarkatan teeth whatsoever!

THEN SHE'S NOT A FULL-BLOODED TARKARTAN IS SHE YOU FUCKING NIMROD!

[edit: And how dies this even make sense? The only physical trait that Meleena shares with Tarkartans IS her fucking teeth!

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Shang Tsung, the evil sorceror of outrealm decided to mate with Kira.

Why.... Kira?

The woman has less backstory than Quan Chi's bodyguards/harem! In fact, why not one of them? At least they have some demon blood (Or may actually be deamons, it's never made all that clear). Why Would Shang lower himself to picking up one of Kano's sycophants?

But fuck all that anyway... We're talking about Shang Tsung here! He's far more likely to just make his own son in his flesh pits!

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Goro and Nitara spawned one of the most strangest children to ever be seen.

Goro and Nitara? How did the author come up with these parings?

It's hard to place the time this fic is supposed to happen... Presumably after Deadly alliance, (when Nitara was introduced) but before Armageddon (where everyone fucking dies!) In which case Goro would most certanly not be working for Shang Tsung! He's too buisy fighting off the hords of outrealm forces and trying to reclaim his own kingdom.

I'll be honest, for a short while through Deadly Alliance and Deception, Goro was starting to actually pine over Kitana. And Kitana wasn't exactly rebuffing the guy. Hell a blood-allegiance between the Royalty of Edenia and the Royalty of Shokan would have made for one of the most powerful forces outside of Shao-Kahn's army itself!

But hay, that's a fanfic for a writer who gives a shit.

Fine... Tell us about the spawn of Goro and Nitara, witout bothering to tell us why Goro is even here or why Nitara isn't trying to free her own realm/in her own realm...

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Goro and Nitara spawned one of the most strangest children to ever be seen. Gitaro, a half-vampire, half-Shokan hybrid.

...

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Gitaro

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Fuck it. Whatever.



So Shang Tsung's new master plan is to... Give up on the Mortal Kombat tournament (That part at least makes some fucking sense) and pair off a bunch of his random minions, enemies and slaves to force them to produce offspring so that his own kid has someone to go to highschool with.

And upon hearing this, the forces of light figure that the best counter to Shang's new winning stratagy is to all get down to business also.

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Raiden, Liu Kang, and Uncle J(Jax), all had children with females from earthrealm.

1, Raiden is a God. Why would he be makin' thunder with some random chick from Earthrealm? And why does he give a shit about mankind again, all of a sudden? He had a pretty severe personality change post-Deadly Alliance, you know!

2, Why isn't Liu Kang with Kitana? It's about the only canon paring in the fucking game and you ignore it!

Who the fuck did you pair Kitana off with?

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Sub-zero. He jumped at any chance to restore his clan, so when he learned of this plan he came to Princess Kitana. He got down on his knee like an honarable Lin Kuei warrior and asked her with high hopes if she would allow him to take her as his mate. She accepted.

SUB-FUCKING-ZERO! Are you shitting me?

The heir apparent to Edenia and the lord of the Lin-Kuei assassins? And she ACCEPTED?

...

...

I dread to think how the wedding night went... Think of the chilblains.



Jesus, this fic is dumb.

Well the whole reason why Raiden went full Superdickery at the end of the original timeline was to protect Earthrealm... by destroying absolutley fucking everything that would so much as sneeze too loud in its direction. He still cared about Earthrealm, just in the worst way imaginable

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BANG! BANG! BANG!

"Sonny! Wake up! It's time for your first day!" Scorpion growled from the outside of my bedroom door.

"The blood of your enemies will not spill itself!"

"I thought I was going to school!"

"............... that too."

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Still half-asleep, I stumbled across my bedroon and over to the bathroom and showered and brushed my teeth quickly as I could could manage.

Assuming that this is in Outworld, you'd also assume that this is all a little too high tech?

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I wrapped a towel around me and ran over to my closet; I quickly changed into a blacNOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR FASHION SHOWorpion was waiting by the door.

ASYLUMVISION returns!

So she goes and chats up the mutant spawn of Baraka and Mileena

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She sat the book in her lap and pulled her lips from over her mouth in a grin to reveal her sharp, pointed, bright-white teeth.

And not the horrid, jagging, bony, nightmare-fuel FANGS of usual Tarkatan heritage, of course

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"I know," she groaned. "My Father tells me all the time that my teeth are something that I should be proud of; that it symbolizes the Tarkatan blood flowing through my veins

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"So, why isn't your jaw all wide and distorted like most Tarkatans? Why do you appear more human with your mouth close?"

"Well...my mother, Mileena, is only half Tarkatan," she explained. "She was cloned from princess Kitana, so some of her genes were passed into me as well. So that's why."

yes mileena is only half tarkatan but she still ha THE GODDAMN TEEEEEEEEEEEEETHHHHH GRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

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Then they get hit on by Goro and Nitara's Stu and I try to eat my keyboard

Why does such a thing exist?

Highschool AUs were one of the first things I discovered about bad fanfiction, but they still baffle me to no end.

Yeah high school's as close to hell as you can get in this realm of existence.

I've watched my brother play the games, and this is not the type of story that fits these games at all. So, I checked the reviews out of curiosity and they're all GOOD. What?! A lot of them are by the same person, who writes Wesker/Claire fics, (which is one of my fave pairings) but she squee'd so many times over this story, I'm afraid to read them. She's also writing a Kano/Sonya romance. Where do people even get that pairing?

Mouse wrote:

Yeah high school's as close to hell as you can get in this realm of existence.

Hmm... Hell AU. Now there's an idea.

My idea is that all the pairings got picked out of hat. Which is great for shit and giggled when you've got writers block. Not so great for stories to be posted.

ok, i've been sick for 5 days now and pretty much have to be at work tommorrow. what better way to dull such pain than ripping apart bad fanfiction? well, there's always "get drunk off my ass and hope i still have a job the next day over."

..... maybe next time.

Well, let's pick up from where we left off at chap-

Huh, the first chapter's been deleted. So now we're just dropped into the first day of Outrea-

...Outworld High. Looks like the title's been fixed too. So we're just dropped into Sonny's first day at Outworld High. No mention of everyone getting it on and Kano violating Sonya. Hm, I suppose that's for the better.

When we last left our heroes, GITAROOOOO MAN was totally gonna fight Sonny and Millicent, the "full-blooded Tarkatan" daughter of Mileena and Baraka.

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"Sonny don't! Come on! It's our first day! Just forget him!" Millicent protested, but her pleas went unheard.

A full-blooded or not, when's the only time you'd expect a tarkatan to beg for peace? Here's a hint: Never.

So Sonny gets thrown around a bit and then Milly finally remembers what it's like to be tarkatan.

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The next thing I heard was a loud screech that echoed through the courtyard. My eyes popped open; Millicent's blade was impaled into Gitaro's stomach, sticking out on the other side.

Gitaro's look appeared to be a combination of shock, rage, and pain. That didn't stop him however from grabbing Millicent's neck and socking her right in her stomach.

She let out a brief, "OMPF!"And then toppled to the ground unconscious, her blade through Gitaro's stomach.

Never knew you could punch someone out cold in their stomach. Those boxers have got it all wrong!

Next chapter, there's maybe a page or two of words and nothing happens other than Sonny and GITAROOO MAN making nice-nice. Outworld's a lot more civilized than we all thought, huh? Next chapter...

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"Millicent, I'm really sorry," I whispered to her. "I didn't mean to drag you into this."

"It's okay," she whispered back. "I couldn't bring myself to just sit back and watch you get eaten by-"

"QUIET, YOU TWO!" Our detention teacher, Kobra shouted at us.

Detention? For what, fighting? THIS IS FRIGGIN' OUTWORLD. They'd all be given medals.

... And what's Kobra doing here anyway? Of course then we'd also have to wonder what Kira would be doing in Outworld too, and why those two haven't found new and creative ways to murder each other yet.

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"Sorry," we both said in unison. He went back to writing the lesson for his class tomorrow.

What would Kobra be teaching anyway? How to avoid litigation from Capcom?

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We all had to stay here for two whole hours…ugh. Scorpion was going to kill me.

Why, because you were fighting?!

I can't believe my head hasn't exploded from all the stupid yet.

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Millicent spoke while blushing. "It's fine, if you're really sorry for it, then we…well…I can forgive you."

*B-BAM*

...

...

...

ROUND TWO, FIGHT!

So GITAROOO MAN uses his vampire-power to hypnotize Kobra into letting them all go.

Next chapter (You've noticed these are all fairly low-content, huh?), the three of them go wandering around in a forest. With all the creepy living trees.

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He had taken us to a clearing in the woods, riddled with uncharacteristically beautiful roses riddling the ground.

Oh, right. Things like BEING IN FRIGGIN' OUTWORLD don't seem to register with our author here.

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"I grew these myself," he explained. "I learned of these flowers during one of my trips to Earthrealm. Beautiful aren't they?"

*muted gagging noises* ooooooooooookay, I'm willing to buy that only because his mother was Nitara.

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"These are very nice, Gitaro," [Millicent] sighed, picking one of the roses and studying it closely.

NO NO NO NO NO. I WILL NOT BUY THAT.

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"Oh, I'm sorry, Gitaro," Millicent said sympathetically.

Baraka and Mileena would kill themselves just to start spinning in their graves.

So then they all get talking about their parents, and GITAROOOOO MAN reminisces about how mommy always cared for him. Which brings me to wonder, why would Nitara and Goro boink anyway? Didn't Outword savagely ruin Vaternus before absorbing it? Hell, it was probably Goro himself that did all the conquering.

Then Millicent spins a yarn about how daddy dearest would rock her to sleep and kiss her boo-boos and oh god im gonna puke

skipping a head a chapter, Sonny and Scorpion have the expected argument and Sonny runs off in a dramatic huff

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After approximately fifteen minutes of running I dropped down under a large tree in the woods.

And she was then gobbled up by it. You know, being one of those living trees in Outworld

Skipping ahead again, we're being taught Outworld history by Ermac. (look just go with it ok i dont wanna think about it)

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"Outworld's known history goes back millions of years and points at Onaga the Dragon King, as its first ruler," his voice…or voices buzzed. "Though he would eventually be supplanted by Shao Kahn, they both shared the same visions of expanding Outworld by taking other realms by force. Unwittingly, both were being controlled by the echos of the One Being. Outworld is an empire that stretches out over numerous realms which have been magically annexed. Despite the despotism both emperors have displayed, Outworld is in a constant state of turmoil, more so under Shao Kahn than it was under Onaga."

And then Ermac was promptly executed by Kahn's goons. Maniacal mass-murdering self-proclaimed emperors don't like being slighted, who knew?

Like that other shit-tastic mary sue MK fic that WD found, this one too likes to change character perspective on occasion.

So, since there's so much to go through and I am NOT wading though 30 chapters of low-content melodrama, I'm just gonna skip to somewhere near the latest update. Odds are I haven't missed much.

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Shao Kahn stroked the back of Conner's head as the tune continued along with his singing.

"Be strong, keep running and forth and escape from death.

Chin up, don't you look back, your destination waits.

Fight on, don't become prey for the life-hungry reaper.

The golden land calls, obey it.

Escape and break free, escape and break free

Run forth and shatter this twisted outcome.

I see that you aren't a flower from hell as they said, but they'll never see you

When you fully bloom, when you fully bloom.

Don't let their hateful stares keep you from reaching to your life

Run to my arms and together we'll escape into the skies."

Conner cried gently against Shao Kahn as he held him, and the twinkling tune from the music box ended.

Author's Note: Those aren't the official lyrics of Naraku No Hana, just my own take of those who want to hear the tune of Conner's Lullaby, simply go to my profile and look under the Outrealm High section. It'll be under the cast.

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the asylum wrote:

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"QUIET, YOU TWO!" Our detention teacher, Kobra shouted at us.

Detention? For what, fighting? THIS IS FRIGGIN' OUTWORLD. They'd all be given medals.

... And what's Kobra doing here anyway? Of course then we'd also have to wonder what Kira would be doing in Outworld too, and why those two haven't found new and creative ways to murder each other yet.

Kobra is one of the throwaway characters who was introduced in Deception purely to pad out the roster. He has little to no backstory, but what there is seems to suggest that Kobra is a straight-up thug and little more. He's good at fighting, but that's about it. Reading into the story, Kano/Kabal had had so much trouble with gang members not only as strong, but also as ambitious as them (Mavado, specifically) that he went out of his way to recruit people who were thick as shit and easy to manipulate (Kira falls into this category too)

What I'm saying is: Why the hell is he a teacher? Unless he's a Gym coach, of course..

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We all had to stay here for two whole hours…ugh. Scorpion was going to kill me.

I'm surprised he doesn't do this with regularity.

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Baraka and Mileena would kill themselves just to start spinning in their graves.

Well, up until this fic they spent most of their time trying to kill eachother.

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Didn't Outword savagely ruin Vaternus before absorbing it? Hell, it was probably Goro himself that did all the conquering.

Probably. But Goro is past that by Deadly Alliance/Deception, and is trying to free his own kingdom. Still doesn't make sense.

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Then Millicent spins a yarn about how daddy dearest would rock her to sleep and kiss her boo-boos and oh god im gonna puke

Baraka? Seriously?

You know, Shao Kahn treats the Tarkatans literally as cannon fodder. They're barely above animals, and Baraka only earned his "promotion" by being especially strong, extremely clever (for his race) and ruthless. And do you know what he does with the race that has been enslaved by external foces and forced to fight to the death in thousands of wars with no rest, respite or control over their fate? Treats them like fucking cannon fodder.

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"Outworld's known history goes back millions of years and points at Onaga the Dragon King, as its first ruler," his voice…or voices buzzed. "Though he would eventually be supplanted by Shao Kahn, they both shared the same visions of expanding Outworld by taking other realms by force.

As pointed out, Shao Kahn has deliberately erased all mention of the Dragon King in order to cement his position. Only a few people know about Onaga, and they keep quiet if they know what's good for them.

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Unwittingly, both were being controlled by the echos of the One Being.

And this is the Mortal Kombat equivalent of braking out the Necronomicon and providing a brief history of Azathoth.

People genuinely know more about the Elder Gods than they do about the One Being. (For starters, people know that the Elder Gods exist)

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Shao Kahn stroked the back of Conner's head as the tune continued along with his singing.

o god... Shao Kahn singing.

This is fucking hilarious!

WELP. I expected as much. How are the MK games anyway; wanted to buy the (remake) for 360 but got Dues Ex instead.

Kakashifan727 wrote:

WELP. I expected as much. How are the MK games anyway; wanted to buy the (remake) for 360 but got Dues Ex instead.

Speaking as a titanic Mortal Kombat fan who has played almost every game and has watched almost every film, spinoff and cartoon, I say: Rent it.

Mortal Kombat 2011 is okay - I personally love the story mode, and the way they implement it is great - but even if you're a fan of fighting games, the system gets repetitive quickly and the characters can come across as very samey. Even the Unique Selling Points of the game (the fatalities and X-Ray attacks) are only really much good for a few viewings before they loose their shock/fun value. It's still a pretty solid fighter, though, and it kicks the ass of Marvel Vs. Capcom's desert of extra modes, but there are better fighters out there.

Alright. I'll probably just emu the old titles to see what the buzz was about.

Kakashifan727 wrote:

Alright. I'll probably just emu the old titles to see what the buzz was about.

Again in my official capacity as a squeeling Mortal Kombat fanboy, I can tell you right now: the old games are shit. Even the best of the series, (at least in my opinion) Mortal Kombat II, is terrible compared to the other games out at the time.

Mortal Kombat's popularity was very much a product of it's time.

The original game was designed as a parody, with ultra-violence and utterly over-the-top gore. (There were FAR more bloody games out there at the time, although the targeted-at-adults FMV games like Phantasmogoria weren't to hit the shelves for another 5 years, but Mortal Kombat went utterly OTT with it's blood and gore) a game that utterly revelled in its violence attracted attention to itself, and the Video Game Nasty crowd also pawed all over it, utterly undermining it's parody status and applying something akin to the Streisand effect in the process. That was the other thing that Mortal Kombat had going for it that added to it's infamy - it was popular, very much unlike the other gory games out there.


Mortal Kombat was never popular because it was good - it was popular because it was extreme (in fact, it was so popular that arcade machines for MKII has specially designed security cages, not to protect the cash in the front - like other machines - but to protect the back, because thieves were smashing through the panelling in the back to actually steal the game itself. An image of one of these panels was bonus material in one of the games - I can't find a pic of it online ) and the media hype only served to make it more extreme.

In recent years, the game can no longer rely on the extreme-ness of it, so has to push the gameplay which, frankly, was never that good.


If you do want a recommendation though - play Deception on Playstation 2. It has a very fun "Konquest" where you play as a character stuck in the background across all the previous games before having him kick-start the 'final' game: Armageddon. As Shinjuko you get to meet and interact with a hell of a lot of characters and get a really good feel of the MK world and mythos.

Again, though: Fair warning - the gameplay isn't that great.

^ Haha, I played MKII in a barcade semi-recently. IIRC, the characters just sort of shamble around stiffly most of the time and like half of them are copies of the other half.

Ah, memories...I can remember when it was Mortal Kombat that the anti-Video Game warriors were up in arms about how it's going to corrupt our children and all that. Yet I don't recall there being an epidemic of spine-rippings when MK was at the height of popularity.

I've got nothing really to add; was just feeling a little nostalgic.

I think I saw an LP of Deception, it looks alright. But then again this is coming from the guy who played games like Rascal, Poypoy, Bubsy 3D for PS1 along with some gems like MML2, Tomba and Tomb Raider. I think the style was basically 2D DW clone but sidescrolling beat em up, right? It does seem neat, if I have any free time to get the ROM and get it to work I'll see what I can do.

Mouse wrote:

Ah, memories...I can remember when it was Mortal Kombat that the anti-Video Game warriors were up in arms about how it's going to corrupt our children and all that. Yet I don't recall there being an epidemic of spine-rippings when MK was at the height of popularity.

I've got nothing really to add; was just feeling a little nostalgic.

Well to be fair, they were marketing that game to kids, with mortal kombal lunchboxes and everything. It's not like the GTA controversy.

V3N0M wrote:

Mouse wrote:

Ah, memories...I can remember when it was Mortal Kombat that the anti-Video Game warriors were up in arms about how it's going to corrupt our children and all that. Yet I don't recall there being an epidemic of spine-rippings when MK was at the height of popularity.

I've got nothing really to add; was just feeling a little nostalgic.

Well to be fair, they were marketing that game to kids, with mortal kombal lunchboxes and everything. It's not like the GTA controversy.

That's not entirely correct...

The merchandising machine didn't kick in until after both the film was released, and there was a cartoon series. The toys ETC were there to promote those, not the game par se. I know it's a dodgy explanation, but the Mortal Kombat games themselves were NEVER targeted at children. The majority of the MK games, in the UK at least, were given BBFC 15 or 18 certificates for their violence.

The notion that the games were "targeted at kids" comes from the idea that video games are for kids, period.