Are you a Mary Sue?

Think about your skillset, and what things -epic or tragic- that have happened in your life. How skilled are you? What certifications/degrees/licenses do you hold? How sexually successful are you?

Now apply yourself to a typical story challenge. Do you need to stop the bad guys from doing something bad? Is the fate of the world at stake?

Are you a Mary Sue?

Nah. Villain sue.

Knorg,
The Bomb Queen of WGW. Check out these tits. Phwoooaaarr.

I'm a purity Sue. Ha!

No, I'm an Essex Sue a la Starter for 10. I learnt to read and escaped Southend.

You weren't there. You can't feel the pain of feet shoved into white stilettos.

I'd probably be the quasi-competent leader of the single most incompetent group of henchmen ever witnessed.

cristina_chavia wrote:

I'm a purity Sue. Ha!

No, I'm an Essex Sue a la Starter for 10. I learnt to read and escaped Southend.

You weren't there. You can't feel the pain of feet shoved into white stilettos.

I STILL DON'T BELIEVE YOU LIVE THERE. IT SOUNDS MADE UP.

I'm too old to be a Sue. I could, however, probably be the Sue's evil abusive stepmother who's OMG SO JEALOUS of her gorgeous, talented step-daughter and tries to ruin her life.

Actually, even if I weren't too old to be a Sue, I'd still rather be the evil, abusive stepmother.

Sakurelf wrote:

cristina_chavia wrote:

I'm a purity Sue. Ha!

No, I'm an Essex Sue a la Starter for 10. I learnt to read and escaped Southend.

You weren't there. You can't feel the pain of feet shoved into white stilettos.

I STILL DON'T BELIEVE YOU LIVE THERE. IT SOUNDS MADE UP.

I don't live there anymore. Thankfully. Essex or Southend sounds made up? Both are only too real.

The best skills I've got is my over-all friendliness (Omitting you knuckleheads) and know some carpentry, electrical and plumbing training.

After that, I'm as much of a Stu as a bowl of pudding.

Rabid Badger wrote:

I'm too old to be a Sue. I could, however, probably be the Sue's evil abusive stepmother who's OMG SO JEALOUS of her gorgeous, talented step-daughter and tries to ruin her life.

Actually, even if I weren't too old to be a Sue, I'd still rather be the evil, abusive stepmother.

But won't you end up dying a horrible painful death?

Not a sue here. Though I am half of the perfect brain.

TheIan wrote:

The best skills I've got is my over-all friendliness (Omitting you knuckleheads) and know some carpentry, electrical and plumbing training.

After that, I'm as much of a Stu as a bowl of pudding.

Who doesn't love bowls of pudding?

OMG IS THIS THE THREAD WHERE WE ALL RUSH TO DETAIL HOW SUPER SPESHUL WE ARE IN A REALLY SELF-DEPRECATING WAY

OR WHERE WE PROVE HOW TOTALLY MUNDANE AND THEREFORE COOL AND REAL WE ARE

Salamas wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

I'm too old to be a Sue. I could, however, probably be the Sue's evil abusive stepmother who's OMG SO JEALOUS of her gorgeous, talented step-daughter and tries to ruin her life.

Actually, even if I weren't too old to be a Sue, I'd still rather be the evil, abusive stepmother.

But won't you end up dying a horrible painful death?

Not a sue here. Though I am half of the perfect brain.

Probably. Be worth it, though, to get to overact for a couple hundred pages before I bite the dust.

Cyberwulf wrote:

OMG IS THIS THE THREAD WHERE WE ALL RUSH TO DETAIL HOW SUPER SPESHUL WE ARE IN A REALLY SELF-DEPRECATING WAY

OR WHERE WE PROVE HOW TOTALLY MUNDANE AND THEREFORE COOL AND REAL WE ARE

Thank you for explaining it.

I feel you'd be the Big Bad's dragon. I don't mean the badass, murder machine second in command. I mean a fire breathing, reptilian, badass murder machine.

That flies.

OH
DA
VING

Cyberwulf wrote:

OMG IS THIS THE THREAD WHERE WE ALL RUSH TO DETAIL HOW SUPER SPESHUL WE ARE IN A REALLY SELF-DEPRECATING WAY

OR WHERE WE PROVE HOW TOTALLY MUNDANE AND THEREFORE COOL AND REAL WE ARE

Yeah, this was gonna be me if someone didn't get to it first.

Ugh. Yeah, it wasn't supposed to be like that. It was just a thought I'd had after seeing some examples of people calling bullshit on fairly mundane characters recently. E.g., "An accountant with a gun? That'd never happen!"

The story was set in Texas.

"He had a gun!"

"THIS IS TEXAS! MY FLORIST HAS A GUN!"

Yep. The really funny thing about it was that nobody thought to call bullshit on the chapter where the protagonist carries the love interest to safety on road-rashed arms.* The poster basically read the first chapter and started posting about what a big Sue the protagonist was before he read any further.


*Apparently, the author based that scene on something that he'd actually done.

Penguin wrote:

Ugh. Yeah, it wasn't supposed to be like that. It was just a thought I'd had after seeing some examples of people calling bullshit on fairly mundane characters recently. E.g., "An accountant with a gun? That'd never happen!"

The story was set in Texas.

Well, damn. Now I feel bad

Is there such a version of a Sue that's got some sort of not really disabling disability? You know, when they have cool scars.

You know, the scars that aren't really scars?

Although there was the time I broke my foot; that was for real.

I smile lop sided because I nearly got my bottom lip ripped off my face when I was attacked by a dog when I was a kid. Everyone thinks my smile is endearing.

Does that count?

I would have figured a far higher Sue-score (according to the Universal Mary-Sue Litmus Test), but I only got a 13. I... don't know how to feel about this.

Braigwen wrote:

I smile lop sided because I nearly got my bottom lip ripped off my face when I was attacked by a dog when I was a kid. Everyone thinks my smile is endearing.

Does that count?

It depends. Did you lead a tragic life, full of suffering and pain, because everyone made fun of you due to your deformity. Or was it just something you learned to live with and your family and friends don't even notice it any more? If it's the former, then you're a Mary Sue. If not, then you're just a well-adjusted person who had something bad happen to them and learned to deal wit it.

Totally.

I could be a Purity Sue if not for my: smoking, drinking, swearing and being sexually active. Possible Villain or Jerk Sue though.

Even then I have way to many faults to be a Mary-Sue (hates admitting she's wrong, short temper, prone to treating others like crap when in a bad mood, has to actually work for forgiveness and many more). Plus, I have no cool superpowers and I actually try to be tolerant towards idiots (it's a lost cause).

Is there an Ass-Hat Sue? If so, then cross it with Jerk-Sue and sprinkle a little Bitch-Tits and Tsundere on it and you have me. Kind of. I sometimes accessorize with some Emo and Snarker when I feel like it.