Skyrim

Raine wrote:

Also, companions/followers suck so bad. I've gone through three so far because they either don't listen to my commands or run in the way of my attacks.

True. I almost killed Vilkas a couple times because I'd wind up for some earth shattering power attack. As I was in the middle of drawing my Great Axe of Ludicrously Sexy Murderizing back, gleefully anticipating the utter destruction of the leather wearing fool who attacked the Dragonborn/Hero of the Rebellion/Slayer of Chickens with a butterknife, Vilkas would lumber into the cross hairs, and I could only watch with a resigned sigh as I plowed the idiot across the room.

"What are you doing?!"

"TRYING TO FIGHT YOU HAIRY FUCK, GO JACK OFF IN THE CORNER"

That's why you bring Aela. Little Miss lolArrow just sits out of the way, spamming harmless arrows and looking fine.

Penguin wrote:

Raine wrote:

I'm doing fantastic. After the love triangle thing, I started again. I've become a sneaky archer, mostly because my lack of spacial awareness in this game leads to me getting mauled by wolves and bears quite often after I stop to look around.

I married that chick

I'm jealous. She was pretty cool. Still, hope the elf guy doesn't come after you for it like he did me for ratting him and the other guy out.

I've ditched my companions now and opted for BARBAS THE GREAT AND MIGHTY TALKING DOG. He takes down polar bears like nobody's business. The only thing that annoys me is his constant woofing and since he's technically a quest NPC I'm putting off finishing the quest for, it makes it that I can't tell if I'm hidden or not from other enemies when he's looking at me.

Now here's a couple tips to help you with your game:

- make as many iron daggers as you can to help improve your smithing
- eat EVERYTHING, screw side effects
- bare fist fights with random strangers are FUCKING AWESOME
- don't punch wolves, you'll get diseases
- vampires are cool, but progress too far with it and you'll end up with even the Greybeards trying to Shout you to death
- FUS RO DA shit whenever you can
- horses die easily, but they are BOSSES at climbing mountains
- don't help giants with anything, they will always attack you in return
- be well prepared for once you hit level 30 because whilst you might be able to kill a dragon, but you can still get knifed to death by a lone bandit
- if you become a sneaky character you can steal armor off opponents, leading to nudity and hilarious
- Lydia has a habit of turning up dead in places occasionally (mostly your house), she may also ruin your marriage
- save money on decorating by DIY-ing (I chose a lovely collection of troll skulls to make a pyramid on my bed, easily found in dragon lairs, but you may want to choose something else... like cheese wheels or cabbages)
- being a werewolf is THE SHIT, but you may find people suddenly commentating about the smell of dog in the room, or asking if that's fur coming out of your ears
- and finally, cut-scene killing a dragon is THE BEST THING EVER

Quote :

- Lydia has a habit of turning up dead in places occasionally (mostly your house), she may also ruin your marriage

Fuck her. She was my housecarl, and only went on one mission with me. After that, Aela replaced her for a Companion mission, and I never saw Lydia again. Well, until yesterday, when I married Aela and Lydia showed up at our wedding. Right after the "I do's" I went to go talk to Lydia to see if she'd follow me around again, but she immediately stood up and bolted out the door. When I went outside to see if I could follow her, she was nowhere to be seen.

Worst. Servant. Ever.

Quote :

- being a werewolf is THE SHIT, but you may find people suddenly commentating about the smell of dog in the room, or asking if that's fur coming out of your ears

I'm more bothered that you can't turn into a werewolf during a battle and rip shit up, or else your own allies will all jump on you. Even if they watch you go all hairy right in front of them.

I learned that the hard way when I went on my first Stormcloak mission.

Mr. Bearhood Stonefist: "DIE BEAST!!!!!!" *swings axe at me*

Me: "I just ran ahead of you and ate every Imperial soldier before you guys had to touch them! You should be thanking me

Somath wrote:

Oh Really?

Correction: "highly frowned upon by people who aren't chickens."

Raine wrote:

- be well prepared for once you hit level 30 because whilst you might be able to kill a dragon, but you can still get knifed to death by a lone bandit

Also, while you may be able to annihilate any dragon stupid enough to land within 50 yards of you inside of 15 seconds, a troll will still kill you in three swings.

And they swing three times in a row.

And they close fast.

Doobie wrote:

I'm more bothered that you can't turn into a werewolf during a battle and rip shit up, or else your own allies will all jump on you. Even if they watch you go all hairy right in front of them.

Does that happen even with other Werewolves? I only ask because I have never went wolf. I hit harder with my Amazing Axe of Unbelievable Death Making.

What is beginning to annoy me, is that no matter who you marry, immediately after you marry them, they all take on the exact same personality. Which is to say, none at all. The former semi-sane hunting, Silvertard slaying murder machine should not be sweetly saying things like "This is your half, love" or "I missed you, dear."

ESPECIALLY that last one. I keep thinking she's shooting at deer.

ETA:

Raine wrote:

- make as many iron daggers as you can to help improve your smithing

Also, kill every woodland critter you come across. Use it's hide to make leather and leather strips. Use that to make 9001 Leather Bracers. Instant 100 Smithing.

Quote :

Does that happen even with other Werewolves?

I don't know. I didn't try it, because the next quest I had with the Companions after I learned this information was the last mission in that story arc, and I didn't want to delay marrying Aela and becoming the leader of the baddest bad asses in Skyrim because I got chopped into kibble by my own allies.

I also yelled at the screen when Vilkas said he was too sad to help us. Wuss.

Then his brother says "oh, I can't go any further either, because I'm afraid of spiders."

Fuck those two.

Also, does Farkas wield a flame-shooting staff for any of you guys? All of a sudden on my first mission with him he pulled one out of his ass and has used only that weapon since.

Oh man, just finished the talking dog quest. I was surprised.

And everyone should join up at the College of Winterhold, you get to go all Indiana Jones-ing in a temple with an old dude in the name of MAGIC.

EDIT: And I found this on Youtube:

I knew those skulls were important

But the most important thing: Is there a copy of The Lusty Argonian Maid anywhere?

I'm still doing College quests and I'm up to the Labrynthian or whatever it's called. Good lord, frost trolls EVERYWHERE. My glass cannon character is getting seriously stomped on.

Also, for some reason I keep getting attacked by dragons in the courtyard of the college. The thing is full of skeletons now. =/ Good thing you can walk through them, but still...

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Perpetual motion device, brought to you by the draugr wight I lured across the pressure plate. He dropped his axe on the pressure plate, and it kept rolling back on every time it reset.

Kinda surprised this never showed up here.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

I was building my character as a spellsword kind of thing, a Nord in light armor focusing on one-handed weapons and restoration magic, but I've changed my mind. I'm going to go for an absolute powerhouse. I'm going to get all heavy armor, enchant it to support spellcasting, and focus on destruction magic, conjuring, and two-handed weapons.

Interestingly enough, that is exactly what I did for my first character, too. She's actually doing quite well even at level 48.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

I also yelled at the screen when Vilkas said he was too sad to help us. Wuss.

Then his brother says "oh, I can't go any further either, because I'm afraid of spiders."

Fuck those two.

Aww, I found Farkas's fear of spiders rather endearing as well as perfectly understandable. Have you seen how huge those things are? Holy shit. And I normally am not a fan of emo characters either but I may make an exception for Vilkas (I think it's the voice. )

This video, however, always makes me laugh:

I'm getting Ponies in your Skyrim.

Deal with it.

TheIan wrote:

I'm getting Ponies in your Skyrim.

Get the fuck out, manchild.

TheIan wrote:

I'm getting Ponies in your Skyrim.

Deal with it.

As much as I don't mind the ponies, I do hate that they crash in on everyone else's fandoms. =/

Aggie wrote:

Mr.Doobie wrote:

I was building my character as a spellsword kind of thing, a Nord in light armor focusing on one-handed weapons and restoration magic, but I've changed my mind. I'm going to go for an absolute powerhouse. I'm going to get all heavy armor, enchant it to support spellcasting, and focus on destruction magic, conjuring, and two-handed weapons.

Interestingly enough, that is exactly what I did for my first character, too. She's actually doing quite well even at level 48.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

I also yelled at the screen when Vilkas said he was too sad to help us. Wuss.

Then his brother says "oh, I can't go any further either, because I'm afraid of spiders."

Fuck those two.

Aww, I found Farkas's fear of spiders rather endearing as well as perfectly understandable. Have you seen how huge those things are? Holy shit. And I normally am not a fan of emo characters either but I may make an exception for Vilkas (I think it's the voice. )

This video, however, always makes me laugh:

1.) Magic is for nerds.
2.) Vilkas is emo?
3.) Oh dear God, that Goofy yell.

Penguin wrote:

TheIan wrote:

I'm getting Ponies in your Skyrim.

Get the fuck out, manchild.

Lighten the fuck up.

No, I will not. Stop violating every other fucking fandom with your goddamn cartoon specifically meant for little girls. It stopped being mildly amusing well before the three millionth pasting of a Commissar's hat on a pony. Cartoon pony + meme does not equal original, you poltroons. This is just as absurd as grown-ass men being obsessed with fucking Barney.

In closing,

I'm a lead farmer, motherfucker. FUS RO DA



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oh hey look casual homophobia
why penguin you shouldn't have

no really you shouldn't have

Electron Blue wrote:

oh hey look casual homophobia
why penguin you shouldn't have

no really you shouldn't have

Oh hey look it's Ian hoisted on his own petard

Oh wait no let's ignore that, anyone bringing up homophobia is being casually homophobic

get a clue

I need to get this game. Damn.

Electron Blue wrote:

Penguin wrote:

Electron Blue wrote:

oh hey look casual homophobia
why penguin you shouldn't have

no really you shouldn't have

Oh hey look it's Ian hoisted on his own petard

Oh wait no let's ignore that, anyone bringing up homophobia is being casually homophobic

get a clue

>implying MLP is bad because it's "gay"
>not homophobic
>wat

Okay, not that Penguin isn't letting it all loose with his irate My Little Pony rant, but what you're accusing him of? That's... not exactly what he's doing. He is deriding them ponies because he thinks it's infantile, not because he thinks it's gay. Do you see the picture? It's making fun of the attitude of a very specific group of people that labels anything traditionally thought of as feminine, from behaviour to attitude, as being gay when it's being enjoyed/carried out by a man. The irony stems from the fact that they have a blind spot when it comes to pastel-coloured ponies with wings, which, following their logic, should be equally gay, but somehow, they're not. The picture is making fun of homophobia, and is not being inherently homophobic.

TL:DR? Picture making fun of homophobia =/= poster being homophobic. You're being stupid, I'm being condescending, duh-doy, get with the program.

Electron Blue wrote:

oh hey look casual homophobia
why penguin you shouldn't have

no really you shouldn't have

Penny's not calling anything gay, Grant Hill.

That picture illustrates that dweebs like Ian will call most stuff meant for useless, idiot whores young teenage girls "gay." But when MLP comes up, they're dandy with it, which is strangely inconsistent.

Final Buttdoctor Verdict: Butt Frustrated

ON SKYRIM:

I'm beginning to agree with whoever was whining about the main story being lame. While it's not exactly lame, I'd have found it more interesting to make the main story the Rebellion questline (whether you side with Stormcloaks or Imperials), then have to fight a war against the Thalmor.

I goddamn haet Elves.

Jay/Cris wrote:

Electron Blue wrote:

Penguin wrote:

Electron Blue wrote:

oh hey look casual homophobia
why penguin you shouldn't have

no really you shouldn't have

Oh hey look it's Ian hoisted on his own petard

Oh wait no let's ignore that, anyone bringing up homophobia is being casually homophobic

get a clue

>implying MLP is bad because it's "gay"
>not homophobic
>wat

Okay, not that Penguin isn't letting it all loose with his irate My Little Pony rant, but what you're accusing him of? That's... not exactly what he's doing. He is deriding them ponies because he thinks it's infantile, not because he thinks it's gay. Do you see the picture? It's making fun of the attitude of a very specific group of people that labels anything traditionally thought of as feminine, from behaviour to attitude, as being gay when it's being enjoyed/carried out by a man. The irony stems from the fact that they have a blind spot when it comes to pastel-coloured ponies with wings, which, following their logic, should be equally gay, but somehow, they're not. The picture is making fun of homophobia, and is not being inherently homophobic.

TL:DR? Picture making fun of homophobia =/= poster being homophobic. You're being stupid, I'm being condescending, duh-doy, get with the program.

See the problem I had here was that I've never actually seen Ian call anything gay, so it read as Penguin just being a jackass. Sorry for the confusion.