Rose3212, Destroyer of Fandoms (NSFW)

I first heard about this gem while browsing Marysues over at LJ, and she is basically a goldmine of badfic. Basically, all Rose3212 does is write bad smut with her self-insert and her favourite character from whatever fandom she's defiling, and most of said smut fics will end with a pregnancy and ~BABIES~. She also has a massive Michael Jackson fetish and writes slash/femmeslash, no matter how much sense the pairing makes. And on top of all that, she will block anyone who dares to leave any comment that doesn't say "ZOMG I LOVES IT PLZ CONTINUE!111!!!" Her gallery is impressive too, containing over 1000 deviations, most of which are just badly-written smut/fics starring her self-insert/crossover pairings that make no sense whatsoever. Here are a few samples of her writing, which is INCREDIBLY awful.

Quote :

"My big sis is dumb, an elf breaks obligation wedding a Mortal." I sighed. 'You're sure the more obligated child, my young daughter Rose." Elrond chuckled. "Thank you, Ada." I said bowing before my Ada Elrond. Elrond then stripped Arwen of Evenstardom, and made me the new one! "Arwen's name is now just 'Arwen.'" Elrond said, hooking the Evenstar necklace about my neck. "Me? The Evenstar of my people? Thanks so much, Ada!" I sang. 'You're more deserving of it choosing an Elf like Erestor over a Man like Aragorn, my child." Elrond nodded. "But Ada she.." Arwen protested. "No, Rose's Evenstar now, as well as the new Lady of Imladris and Lorien, as well as the Fairest and most obligated Elf of her kindred." Elrond refused Arwen's protest. "I'm marrying The New Evenstar." Erestor sang. "You mean I'm wedding the loser ex-Undomiel?" Aragorn asked. "Yup." I said. "Lady Rose Evenstar." Aragorn said. "Nope, I'm owned by Councilor Erestor." I said, showing Aragorn the Elven Necklace Erestor hooked about my neck. "oh, taken already by one of your own kindred." Aragorn sighed. I nodded, hugging Erestor!

Stealing the position of Arwen, who just so happens to be my all-time favourite character? This isn't a good start.

Quote :

Mike the Bad was thinking about and having badass dirty thoughts about me!
*In his mind*
"Oh..."I moan, as Mike the Bad's hand touches my breast, I have a three months pregnant bump in my belly at this time.
"You're so sweet,baby..."Mike the Bad moans.
*back to the present time*
Mike the Bad's hand touched the shaft that was his penis...
"Ha ha ha..."he laughed in enjoyment.
He felt semen come out of him, and realized...
"Oh no! I ejaculated prematurely!"he groaned.
Mike the Bad stepped out of the shower and dressed.

"Shaft that was his penis" makes me laugh for some reason.

Quote :

Michael Jackson*puts my hand on his crotch*:Start here as you feel me up.
Me*I fondle his crotch*:Lalala.....
Michael Jackson:Aah....Ooh......Eee....Ohh......Ooh....Aah....Eee....Hee....Hee....Hee...Woo!Aah....It feels so sexy.Keep it up, I enjoy it so much.
Me*I continue fondling his crotch*:Lalala.....
Michael Jackson*he feels inclined to cry out*:Oh no.I feel so inclined to cry out I must not cry out. Oh no I can't hold the cry in anymore.*to himself*Fight Michael, fight. Part of me wants me to cry out.*cries out* Aah!!!!! Oop I just did it*blushes* I'm so embarassed.
Me:It's okay.*I hug him* That cry you emitted wuz so dang hawt and sexeh.

The "Aah....Ooh....Eee....Ohh....Ooh...." etc. just made me think of the Witch Doctor song. Not to mention Michael Jackson is OOC, and nobody I know would sing "Lalala" while giving somebody a handjob. The title of this fic (if you can call it that) is "MJ+I-Making Out-1-Romance". Is it THAT unclear that the genre is romance? Shouldn't the "making out" bit give it away?

Quote :

Me*in a gold ball gown*:Lalala, hope MJ's my partner...
*much to my dismay, Wonka and not MJ is my partner*
Willy Wonka*dressed up*:May I dance with you?
Me:No, I wanna dance w/MJ! *I angrily sit down*
Willy Wonka:I WILL DANCE WITH YOU!!!!
Me:NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS!!!!

She starts off acting bratty, and then...

Quote :

Willy Wonka*sad**holding a Rose he pciked for me*:And to think, I picked this lovely rose for you....*sob* I'm so sad.
Me*I hug him*:If it'll make you feel better, Wonka, I'll dance with you.
Willy Wonka:Y-you will? Really, babe?
Me:Yes, to be honest, I love you, Wonka.
Willy Wonka:Okay, I love you too. Now, let's dance, babe.
Me*I stand up*:Lead me, Wonka.
*Willy Wonka and I go to the center of the floor, tango music is playing*
Willy Wonka:Okay, now we tango, babe.
Me:Lead me, sweetie.
Willy Wonka:Okay.*he starts leading me*
*We tango all night*
Willy Wonka:Rose, will you be my girlfriend?
Me:Yes, Wonka I will.
Willy Wonka:And wed me someday?
Me:Yes again, Wonka.
Willy Wonka:And have kids with me?
Me:Three times yes, Wonka.
Willy Wonka:Excellent.
Me:Yep.

THAT WAS FAST.

She updates frequently, and has been doing this for four years. FOUR.

Have at it, guys.

Got to be a troll. Surely. No-one could write Me*I fondle his crotch*:Lalala..... and actually, seriously mean it?

Dixie wrote:

Got to be a troll. Surely. No-one could write Me*I fondle his crotch*:Lalala..... and actually, seriously mean it?

God, I hope so. But if she blocks people and marks comments as spam, wouldn't that be restricting the lulz? For a while, she had her full address up on her dA page. That just screams "legit" to me.

Meh, I don't know. A truly dedicated troll would be milking the lulz until there was no more to milk....keeping up the pretense is a good way to do that.

That chick who wrote My Immortal did a pretty good job at that...so much that people are still undecided whether it was a trollfic or not.

I'd say trollfic too, but I don't know that it makes it less spooky; FOUR YEARS of writing really bad, fandom-killing, eye-bleach-worthy smut? Troll or not, that scares me.

Also, YAY. First post! Hopefully the first of many! :D

The thing that REALLY bothers me is that she uses the same OC in every fic, and said OC lacks any hint of personality. And she even uses the same name (Rose) for her character, and doesn't follow the naming conventions of each fandom she's writing for. (I was thinking specifically about her not translating "Rose" into Elvish, and in her Kingdom Hearts fics, the OC's name stays the same. But then again "Sexor" is one of the many possible combinations...)

I still don't completely believe she's a troll. She has a boyfriend, but then again it could just be mutual trolling. Still, it seems pretty legit to me.

Here is her boyfriend's page.

I've never been a big supporter of government regulation of the Net, but if this chick starts writing Trek fanfics I may rethink my stance on that issue.

Who needs the government? The whole Internet should gang up and beat her ass down.

What if they injure their hands on her thick skull?

They would have weapons.

OK then.

Quote :

"Oh no! I ejaculated prematurely!"he groaned.

Best...line....ever.

Hello, I would like to point out that Arwen's name means Eveningstar, (or Star Maiden).
The point I am trying to make is Elrond can't/ wouldn't take his daughter's name back /:
He can't take away her "Eveningstardom"

After re-reading though, I vote troll, its way too "Rose" centered.


Sorry if I am being oblivious pointing this out, if its obvious to everyone else, I just felt like putting my two cents.

Chris91 wrote:

I've never been a big supporter of government regulation of the Net, but if this chick starts writing Trek fanfics I may rethink my stance on that issue.

Dude, don't curse it into existence!

The mental image, however, is pretty amusing:

"Ma'am, take your hands off the keyboard and step away from my fandom. "