Dildo- best weapon ever.

It was clear too.

Quote :

Bildsten allegedly walked out on a tab at Joe’s Crab Shack in Gurnee on Tuesday.
An officer was told by a restaurant employee that Bildsten came into the restaurant and ordered a dinner and wine, then went outside and sat on a bench. Police were called because Bildsten had apparently skipped out on a restaurant bill two weeks prior, a police release said.

Why would you serve her again, then?

Quote :

She appeared to be intoxicated and the officer told her she had to pay her bill.

When she said she had money at her apartment and could pay the bill, an officer escorted her to her nearby residence, the release said. Once there she walked into her bedroom, opened a dresser drawer and reached inside and removed a "clear, rigid feminine pleasure device" and held it over her head, approaching the officer in a "threatening manner," the release said.

"Hehehe. This policeman thinks I have to pay my bill. He thinks he has me cornered. Not anymore. Wait until I unleash my secret weapon- my all powerful DILDO! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA"

Quote :

The officer knocked the device out of the way before he could be hit and placed Bildsten under arrest, the release said.

KA-DILDO'D

There's an assault and battery joke to be made here, but i just can't think one up....

I once smacked a guy with a vibrator. I'd meant it as a joke, but he had a big bruise afterwards.

Moral of the story? Sex toys make great weapons.

Attacked with a dildo, you say?


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TheHermit wrote:

Attacked with a dildo, you say?


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No! Don't touch it! That's a very important work of art!

ZoZo wrote:

Moral of the story? Sex toys make great weapons.

Well yeah, if bruising and/or creeping out is what you want to do.

Penguin wrote:

ZoZo wrote:

Moral of the story? Sex toys make great weapons.

Well yeah, if bruising and/or creeping out is what you want to do.

It would make a great non-lethal weapon. I live in fervent hope for the day when battles are fought solely by slapping each other with dildos.

It'll be over the moment someone shows up with an actual weapon.

Is anybody else thinking of Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels where the guy beats another guy to death with a black rubber dildo?

No? Okay, then.

myeerah wrote:

Is anybody else thinking of Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels where the guy beats another guy to death with a black rubber dildo?

No? Okay, then.

S'okay, I'm reminded of that scene in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back when Mark Hamil (as Cock-Knocker) battles BluntMan and Cronic with a light-sabre-dildo.

Don't fuck with the Jedi master!

myeerah wrote:

Is anybody else thinking of Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels where the guy beats another guy to death with a black rubber dildo?

No? Okay, then.

I remember a dude getting set on fire, but no dildobeatings.

I can fix that.

Stupidest. Woman. Ever.