Chapter 2: THE AFTERMATH LEADS TO A NEW BEGINNING
Still all-caps. Yay. At this point, I was willing to cast my disbelief at the oddity of chapter 1 aside. I had high hopes for this story, the grammar and spelling were fantastic, and that is usually a good sign of quality and effort. I thought, "Hey, chapter 1 might have completely lost me, but perhaps this is one of those stories that has everything being explained in the long run to point that it all makes sense in the end. Kinda like that one movie who's name I forget. I do know that it was confusing at first, but it was awesome and everything was explained in the end.
I couldn't have been more
- Quote :
- "…And the fire has spread all the way to a nearby warehouse holding military grade explosives. When the initial blast occurred it shook the entire city for at least 10 minutes and shocked the citizens inside of it for hours more. There are still no known survivors of the crash and rescue teams have begun searching-"
...So here we are, Fox has somehow
managed to survive that horrific crash. I'm willing to believe that the reason why is because the author realize that this wasn't possible and that is why the last chapter ended as such. Just simple scene cut to him badly injured and in the hospital. No explanation at all to how he survived.
What a total cop-out.
- Quote :
- "I'm confined to bed rest? In a hospital? I have a life outside of here and there's no reason for it to come to a halt because of a little thing like this!" Fox said waving around his cast.
Fox apparently doesn't realize that he's lucky to be alive, let alone consious and not in any pain at all![You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Angry Ed ftw!
- Quote :
- Fox thought for a moment. There was always the option to stay in the hospital and let his arm heal… But staying here held the risk of the police finding and arresting him. Regardless, that would happen when they ran his records in the computer. If he went home, they may be waiting for him there, and then he pays a visit to an unwelcoming jail cell.
*whistles* Hey story, gonna tell us why
Fox is on the run from the cops now?
You're going to take us back to Krystal now? Fine...
So anyways, nothing to say on her end, and they still
haven't told us what the original charges were, and even though it was a government weapons depot they blew up, it was an accident and as such, that can't be used as an excuse.
Anyways, she's questioned by a pair of 'undercover cops', which sounds like a load of bullshit because that isn't the job of an undercover cop. That's the job of a prosecuter. Then again, I'm giving this story too much credit as these folk vanish soon after and are never spoken of again. Normally I'd hyper-link that statement to the Big Lipped Alligator Moment article in TvTropes, but then I'd have to acknowledge all
of said moments, and that's pretty much the entire story.
Anyways, they hear that Fox is in the hospital and they leave.
End Chapter 2. Litteraly.
Chapter 3: THE FIRST PHASE REVEALED AS A HERO IS BORN
Could this hero please save me from the idiocy of this story?
Well fuck you then Mr. Hero.
On with the confusion...
We open to someone trying to commit suicide. This individual is saved by another individual. The savoir waxes philisophical bullshit. Then we discover it's Slippy that was trying to commit suicide.
Umm...why? Hell if I know, just another unanswered question for the list.DRAMATIC LIGHTNING FLASH
His savoir is Wolf.
Umm, why? Fox I can see Wolf saving because he swore it'd be him that killed him, and no one else. Also, what's this 'real man' bullshit? Slippy is not
a real man. Really people. I am fairly certain that Wolf wouldn't give two shits about that clutzy toad.
Anyways, according to the story, Wolf is here for Fox's bounty.
...When did Fox get a bounty on his head and why is there a bounty on his head?
Oi...another question for the bunch. Take note that I didn't ask who put the bounty on his head, that is the only one that's answered.
Back to Krystal...
- Quote :
- The police had set a $100,000 bounty on Fox, paid to whoever brought him in dead or alive.
I would like to know why
they set a bounty on his head. Seriously, what the fuck people? This only serves as a way to keep Fox in hiding so that someone can go after his family when he's not there to protect them. It's a badly thought-out plot device that shows just how badly thought-out this story was when it was being written.
- Quote :
...What's the matter, couldn't come up with a way to describe a crash noise, so you just used script format for that? Idiot...
- Quote :
- she heard the sound from down the hallway and reached into her nightstand. Inside was her lucky blaster pistol, she had never missed a single shot with it in her hands. Her fingers wrapped around the smooth metal as she quietly pulled it out.
Oh hey, Krystal's going to kick some ass!
- Quote :
- The shadow grabbed the knife and held her in mid-air, then squeezed down so hard that the diamond edged blade snapped into tiny fragments. "Oh, now I really wish you hadn't gone and done that, and you'll easily see why. This means that we have a way to draw your beloved husband out of hiding and into our grasps." He smiled and started laughing and leaning back.
Oh, wait, nevermind. She's completely helpless. God damnit...
Anyways, we finish off the chapter with her getting kidnapped (femenists and action-girl enthusiasts may now release a collective groan of annoyance and/or facepalm) and switching over to a capt-err, ship's log for Fox detailing that he's on the run and that there's wanted posters everywhere.
We still don't know why
End Chapter 3.
Also, where's this 'hero' that this chapter speaks off? Seeing as how it's mentioned that Wolf is here for Fox's bounty, I got 20:1 odds that he is our villian, and Fox is always an obvious hero, where's this new hero we were supposed to have?
While I'm thinking about it, get used to the StarFox team's ineptitude. They're constantly getting captured and beat up throughout the story. Our heroes ladies and gentlemen!