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Cyberwulf
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Cyberwulf

Join date : 2009-06-03
Age : 39
Location : TRILOBITE!

The Game Empty
PostSubject: The Game   The Game EmptyWed Oct 06, 2010 5:28 pm

Hello again, connoisseurs of badfic. Now that I’ve warmed up with some pointless DS9 porn, I’ve decided to tackle something that’s not only pointless, but badly written and more than a little squicky. The story is titled ”The Game” and it comes to us from that vast latrine known as Adultfanfiction.net.

It’s a Star Trek: TNG fic, and it stars the android B-4 and someone I suspect is an OC, but I’m not prepared to dig out Nemesis and check. Non-Trek fans, that groaning sound you hear from the Trekkies reading this is your cue to brace for impact.

We’ll start with the Author’s Note, which by badfic standards is a real classic.

Quote :
Please dont write any negative comments, if you don't like it, don't comment. Sorry for the spelling and grammarical errors, I wrote this up in 40 min so there will be errors. My apology.

I’ve always said the best way to get people to read your work is to whine about meanies and then admit you couldn’t even be fucking bothered to proofread before vomiting it onto the Internet. The author’s as good as her word, too, as you can see in the following snippet:

Quote :
Her butt pressed against his hard new found erection. "Your aroused. It's what happens when your stimulated in a sexual manner" Frea hands playing along the collar and dipping underneath to messages his hot artificial skin.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg. The fic is littered with elementary spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes that a ten year old would be ashamed of.

But let’s face it – fics with crappy English, Mary Sues and bad porn are ten a penny on the world wide web. What makes this one special is that it features B-4, a character who, in canon, is presented as childlike, simple, and developmentally delayed.

I can hear the shouts already – “Wulf, you monstrous hypocrite! Haven’t you said a million times that true badfic is obvious even to people without an encyclopaedic knowledge of the fandom in question?” Well don’t skip to the reply box just yet. It doesn't matter if you've never heard of B-4, or even Star Trek, because the author takes great pains to remind us several times that B-4 is not the full shilling.

Quote :
"Tell me how you feel?"

"I feel strange. I do not understand" he groaned

"Do you want me to do something else to you? Do you want me to stop?"

"No, I do not want you to stop. I do not understand." B-4 replied in his quiet broken speech.

Quote :
B-4's hand stopped and lingered around his waist where he had been ready to drop his trousers and he smiled a little. "What are we going to do? Are we going to play a game?"

Quote :
"Why? Please more, please. Did I play the game wrong is that why? More please." He pleaded and begged in his childlike manner,

GRODY.

The sex is the usual badfic fare, except for a line where Frea worries about making B-4’s robot brain explode from all the sex and having to explain what an amoral piece of shit she is to everyone as a result. Naturally, B-4 is huge enough to hit her in the cervix, which is totes pleasurable as all us girls know. He also comes fully equipped with robot jizz, and I know what you’re thinking, but Harley only writes photocopier-style robot sex.

And finally:

Quote :
"Can we play again soon. I like that game." he said, his sweet innocent eyes gazing into hers.

"Yes, if you want. Remember though. You shouldn't play this game with anyone else or tell them about this ok. It's our secret, just us alright."

Mm, that’s certainly not deeply unsettling or anything.


Last edited by Cyberwulf on Thu Oct 07, 2010 6:54 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Reepicheep-chan
Important Person
Important Person
Reepicheep-chan

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 35
Location : IN A SEXY NEW CONDO

The Game Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Game   The Game EmptyWed Oct 06, 2010 9:06 pm

Quote :
"Yes, if you want. Remember though. You shouldn't play this game with anyone else or tell them about this ok. It's our secret, just us alright."
Oh wow, that is like how every peado/ incest fic ever ends. My gawd I feel dirty.
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Mr.Doobie
Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach
Mr.Doobie

Join date : 2009-10-23
Location : under the sink

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PostSubject: Re: The Game   The Game EmptyWed Oct 06, 2010 9:38 pm

I was expecting every comment on this thread to be "OH NO! I LOST IT!"
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The Scientist
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
The Scientist

Join date : 2010-10-05
Location : Under Strangeland's Iron Sea

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PostSubject: Re: The Game   The Game EmptyThu Oct 07, 2010 12:58 am

Yeah, that's what I was going to say: this sounds like the commercials they've been running against victim silence. It was something like this-

There's this boy with some bloke in a suit standing behind him, and he's covering the boy's mouth with his hand. Next image, the boy's become an adolescent. It goes on until he's about 40, where he yanks the hand from his mouth and says:

"He said it would be our secret." And then, how silence gives the paedo power over you or whatnot.

The commercial is pretty powerful because of the creep-factor.

Seeing this fic, and being reminded of anti-paedo action by the government....jeez, that makes it even sicker. Bleugh.

The Game 199471
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Alhazred
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Alhazred

Join date : 2009-07-21

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PostSubject: Re: The Game   The Game EmptyThu Oct 07, 2010 1:38 am

Quote :
There's this boy with some bloke in a suit standing behind him, and he's covering the boy's mouth with his hand. Next image, the boy's become an adolescent.

I can't help but picture Slenderman as the pedo from this description.

...he'd probably make a great anti-pedo mascot, really.
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The Scientist
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
The Scientist

Join date : 2010-10-05
Location : Under Strangeland's Iron Sea

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PostSubject: Re: The Game   The Game EmptyThu Oct 07, 2010 1:54 am

I hadn't thought of that.
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Vanilla-villa
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Vanilla-villa

Join date : 2010-04-19
Location : England

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PostSubject: Re: The Game   The Game EmptyThu Oct 07, 2010 9:52 am

Quote :
AN: I was looking around and couldn't find a single B-4 sex fic
There is a reason for that, you know.
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The Scientist
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
The Scientist

Join date : 2010-10-05
Location : Under Strangeland's Iron Sea

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PostSubject: Re: The Game   The Game EmptyThu Oct 07, 2010 10:31 am

I am amazed at the willingness of some people to write porn about everyone and anything. I guess curiosity isn't the strongest human characteristic; it's finding ways of shagging everything we come across with.

Run for the hills, it's the end of civilisation! The Game 309696
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Dixie
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Dixie

Join date : 2009-06-12
Location : London, UK

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PostSubject: Re: The Game   The Game EmptyThu Oct 07, 2010 10:36 am

Quote :
"Oh my god!" she cried out, his testicles hitting her bum in rhythm as she rode him
The Game 723337
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.][You must be registered and logged in to see this image.][You must be registered and logged in to see this image.][You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

A truly splendid find, CW.
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Spotts1701
Chief Cook and Bottle Washer
Chief Cook and Bottle Washer
Spotts1701

Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 41
Location : New Vertiform City

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PostSubject: Re: The Game   The Game EmptyThu Oct 07, 2010 5:59 pm

I can just imagine what happens next:

"Okay, B-4," Counselor Troi remarked as she handed the android a doll, "I want you to show me where the bad lady touched you. Do you understand?"

_________________
My LJ

Gibbs' Rule #16: If someone thinks they have the upper hand, break it.

"Oh, the equipment's guaranteed, but I have my doubts about the stuff inside." - Lt. Commander Montgomery Scott
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Rabid Badger
And This is Why I Need Medication
And This is Why I Need Medication
Rabid Badger

Join date : 2009-06-10

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PostSubject: Re: The Game   The Game EmptyThu Oct 07, 2010 9:33 pm

his hard new found erection

That threw me out of the story for a minute, because I had visions of them wandering through a corridor and finding a robot penis just lying around.

But yeah, there's a definite creepy, pedo vibe going on here with the whole "You can't play the game with anyone else, and you can't tell anyone about it either) bit. I'm assuming the robot in question is very naive when it comes to human behavior (what little dialogue he has seems rather childlike), which just increases the squickiness factor by +10.
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The Scientist
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
The Scientist

Join date : 2010-10-05
Location : Under Strangeland's Iron Sea

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PostSubject: Re: The Game   The Game EmptyFri Oct 08, 2010 12:10 am

Spotts1701 wrote:
I can just imagine what happens next:

"Okay, B-4," Counselor Troi remarked as she handed the android a doll, "I want you to show me where the bad lady touched you. Do you understand?"

I laughed at this, but if you sit down to think about it....poor B-4. I bet he was completely overwhelmed and literally had no idea what the fuck was going on.

Rabid Badger wrote:
his hard new found erection

That threw me out of the story for a minute, because I had visions of them wandering through a corridor and finding a robot penis just lying around.

Hey, the sicko who wrote this abomination was actually plagiarising Red Dwarf!

The Game 724940
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Rabid Badger
And This is Why I Need Medication
And This is Why I Need Medication
Rabid Badger

Join date : 2009-06-10

The Game Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Game   The Game EmptyFri Oct 08, 2010 12:28 am

The Scientist wrote:
Spotts1701 wrote:
I can just imagine what happens next:

"Okay, B-4," Counselor Troi remarked as she handed the android a doll, "I want you to show me where the bad lady touched you. Do you understand?"

I laughed at this, but if you sit down to think about it....poor B-4. I bet he was completely overwhelmed and literally had no idea what the fuck was going on.

Rabid Badger wrote:
his hard new found erection

That threw me out of the story for a minute, because I had visions of them wandering through a corridor and finding a robot penis just lying around.

Hey, the sicko who wrote this abomination was actually plagiarising Red Dwarf!

The Game 724940

Now on Red Dwarf, just finding a robot penis lying in a corridor would actually make a weird sort of sense. But not on Star Trek. NEVER on Star Trek.
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The Scientist
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
The Scientist

Join date : 2010-10-05
Location : Under Strangeland's Iron Sea

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PostSubject: Re: The Game   The Game EmptyFri Oct 08, 2010 1:03 pm

I know.

Also, on Red Dwarf it was, believe it or not, harmless and funny.

Poor Kryten just wanted to get out of the women's ward.
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your mom
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
your mom

Join date : 2010-02-25
Age : 33
Location : Endor's forest moon

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PostSubject: Re: The Game   The Game EmptySun Oct 10, 2010 10:48 pm

Cyberwulf wrote:
The story is titled ”The Game”

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU--

Also, this fic IS horrifying in terms of squick.

Quote :
Personally, I view B-4 as no more then a child but I decided to challenge myself and write him in a sexual situation.

WHY?? Just because no one else has done it? Sometimes there's a good reason for that.
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PostSubject: Re: The Game   The Game Empty

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