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 Gaara found TWU WUB!

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TheIan
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
TheIan

Join date : 2009-06-12
Location : Dining car on the Train of Time, DenLiner

Gaara found TWU WUB! Empty
PostSubject: Gaara found TWU WUB!   Gaara found TWU WUB! EmptyMon Sep 27, 2010 5:06 pm

Obviously, I was in the mood to find some badfic, (not while it was 12 AM and caffeinated) and figured drudging through the Pit one Fandom after another was going to be boring. So instead, I checked the Just In and found a Naruto Sue-fic that gets Gaara involved. The poor bastard.

The Story of Yukiko and Gaara
Obviously, right from the title itself you can tell the author doesn't have much in terms of originality.

Quote :
Okay this is my frost story so please be nice to me!
I wondered why I feel cold and lifeless just from the first line. [Shivers]

Quote :
I know I'm not the best writer but I always get A's on my projects so if you flame me it doesn't matter because I know I'm good! Please don'e flame!
She at least admits she's not the best writer; but then again is that really an excuse to neglect so many mistakes you could easily correct on your own?

Quote :
There was a girl walking on water.
I'm inclined to make a "Jesus had a sex-change" snark here, but figured that'd be way too obvious, offensive and just in bad taste.

Quote :
IT was raining hard on her and her black silk dress was ripped and flyed in the wind. Her eyes were deep icy blue with dark blue around the edges and her black hair waved at the wind.
Guess who this must be! It's the Sue! I kind of see what the author is trying to convey with this, but...it's a few nails short of a house frame.

Quote :
It shined in the light on the moon. She had no shoes on and her feet were bloody, and so was her arm where she was holding near the shoulder because she got hurt there by a kunaiit was bloody around her hand and it seeped through her fingers.
I think the author is a Master of the dreaded Run-on Sentence Jutsu.

Of course we cut from this obscure opening to Gaara, our favorite emo.

Quote :
Gaara woke up in his room in sunakagure, he sighed. Even though he was the hokage, people still had a hard time trusting him because he used to have the shukaku inside him and kill people.
I get the feeling this author hasn't done enough research into the Fandom.

Quote :
All he wanted was someone to understand him, which Naruto and his brother and sister did some times, but they weren't around him enough.
They just couldn't grasp the concept of a two-wheeled auto-propelling vehicle you sat in while playing a children's card game with someone who did so likewise. (Hah-hah! LittleKuriboh!)

Quote :
Today he had to go to the village hidden in the palms. It was on the other side of the Great Sand Sea, which separated Sunagakure and Palmagakure (The village hidden in palms.)
Where the signature Jutsu is Gaara found TWU WUB! 199471 And better known all the Ninja learn a complex Jutsu only performed with two Ninja instead, Gaara found TWU WUB! 846489 .

Quote :
He walked down with his escorts to his boat moved by chakra. His escort, Michi, loved him from afar. She was pretty, she has brown hair and brown eyes.

"Gaara Sama, are you okay riding the boat? It's wavy on the sea!"

But she wanted to say "I love you!"

Gaara looked to her with his pale green eyes of sadness. She was always there for him, but he could only ever love her like a sister. Always.
Gaara found TWU WUB! 556166 Oof, sorry, this part seemed a little too mushy for me... Oh god... Gaara found TWU WUB! 556166

Quote :
"It's okay, Michi Chan. You don't need to worry about me! But don't you fall off!"

But he wanted to say "you're like the mother I never had, but like a sister."
...I got nothing.

I'm gonna skip the rest of the schlock and let you guys have a hand in snarking this, it certainly needs it. But the author's note at the end does no promise of improving this story any.

Quote :
(ooc) okay that's it for the first chapter! Please give me good reviews! It's my first attempt and I know I'm not the best writer, but please be nice! Don't Flame! Flamers and Haters will suck my punch in the face jutsu! (JK!)

Gaara found TWU WUB! 724940
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Cyberwulf
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Cyberwulf

Join date : 2009-06-03
Age : 39
Location : TRILOBITE!

Gaara found TWU WUB! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Gaara found TWU WUB!   Gaara found TWU WUB! EmptyTue Sep 28, 2010 3:12 am

Write a review instead of quoting every second line and adding what you imagine is a witty quip after it.
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your mom
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
your mom

Join date : 2010-02-25
Age : 33
Location : Endor's forest moon

Gaara found TWU WUB! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Gaara found TWU WUB!   Gaara found TWU WUB! EmptyTue Sep 28, 2010 11:50 am

Quote :
Gaara looked to her with his pale green eyes of sadness.

What a beautiful line... It really makes me feel... Something. ...Hang on, it's... Gaara found TWU WUB! 556166

Hmm. I guess that's what it was.

And I didn't see a problem with your snark. But I haven't been here that long, so I probably don't get to have an opinion.
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talonotw

talonotw

Join date : 2010-02-05
Age : 32
Location : Margaritaville

Gaara found TWU WUB! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Gaara found TWU WUB!   Gaara found TWU WUB! EmptyWed Sep 29, 2010 1:42 pm

I think I'm going to review every chapter of this monstrosity. If they start getting deleted, I'll post 'em up here.
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Vanilla-villa
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Vanilla-villa

Join date : 2010-04-19
Location : England

Gaara found TWU WUB! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Gaara found TWU WUB!   Gaara found TWU WUB! EmptyWed Sep 29, 2010 2:20 pm

Quote :
Chapter 1 - Love at frist sight
Quote :
this is my frost story
Bad author! You managed to spell the same word wrong two different ways!
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Sutremaine
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Sutremaine

Join date : 2009-11-14
Age : 35
Location : UK

Gaara found TWU WUB! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Gaara found TWU WUB!   Gaara found TWU WUB! EmptyWed Sep 29, 2010 4:51 pm

Gaara keeps pairs of eyes in his pockets for every occasion and is a true connoisseur. His red eyes of anger, while not unusual in themselves, are of a particularly fine make and hue and display a great subtlety of taste. His periwinkle eyes of mild consternation are a true rarity and are removed from his hidden safe only for special occasions.

Cyberwulf wrote:
Write a review instead of quoting every second line and adding what you imagine is a witty quip after it.
I thought his use of the facepalm smilies was very good.
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Exodia's Right Leg
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Exodia's Right Leg

Join date : 2009-08-04
Age : 34
Location : Niggertown, HUAHUEHUAland

Gaara found TWU WUB! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Gaara found TWU WUB!   Gaara found TWU WUB! EmptyFri Oct 01, 2010 12:52 pm

Sutremaine wrote:
Gaara keeps pairs of eyes in his pockets for every occasion and is a true connoisseur. His red eyes of anger, while not unusual in themselves, are of a particularly fine make and hue and display a great subtlety of taste. His periwinkle eyes of mild consternation are a true rarity and are removed from his hidden safe only for special occasions.
The current main villain does have a huge stash of spare eyes, so why not? Gaara found TWU WUB! 588739

Cyberwulf wrote:
Write a review instead of quoting every second line and adding what you imagine is a witty quip after it.
I thought this site was for snark and mockery. Good thing people like Cyberwulf are here to uphold our standards. Trollface
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Penguin
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Penguin

Join date : 2009-07-18
Location : Wild Gray Yonder

Gaara found TWU WUB! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Gaara found TWU WUB!   Gaara found TWU WUB! EmptyFri Oct 01, 2010 1:35 pm

Hey, you know, it's always easier to say

Quote :
HEY GUYS I TOTALLY FOUND THIS BADFIC
A monkey rapes a platypus with a pomegranate and then drinks the piss of a marmoset.

(Link)

See, I'm not making this up! But it gets worse...

The monkey murders the platypus out of love! (link)

Yeah. That's not funny. It's not even vaguely entertaining. It's not even a Fark headline. It's completely boring and effortless. Worse, it's free advertising for the shitfic.
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Alhazred
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Alhazred

Join date : 2009-07-21

Gaara found TWU WUB! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Gaara found TWU WUB!   Gaara found TWU WUB! EmptyFri Oct 01, 2010 1:40 pm

Penguin, that second link 404s. Proofread your fucking reviews!
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Cyberwulf
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Cyberwulf

Join date : 2009-06-03
Age : 39
Location : TRILOBITE!

Gaara found TWU WUB! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Gaara found TWU WUB!   Gaara found TWU WUB! EmptyFri Oct 01, 2010 5:18 pm

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:

I thought this site was for snark and mockery. Good thing people like Cyberwulf are here to uphold our standards. Trollface
Standards only apply to high-brow literary endeavours, like fanfiction. Gaara found TWU WUB! 57786 Gaara found TWU WUB! 57786 Gaara found TWU WUB! 57786 Gaara found TWU WUB! 57786 Gaara found TWU WUB! 57786
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Alhazred
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Alhazred

Join date : 2009-07-21

Gaara found TWU WUB! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Gaara found TWU WUB!   Gaara found TWU WUB! EmptyFri Oct 01, 2010 6:38 pm

Cyberwulf wrote:
Exodia's Right Leg wrote:

I thought this site was for snark and mockery. Good thing people like Cyberwulf are here to uphold our standards. Trollface
Standards only apply to high-brow literary endeavours, like fanfiction. Gaara found TWU WUB! 57786 Gaara found TWU WUB! 57786 Gaara found TWU WUB! 57786 Gaara found TWU WUB! 57786 Gaara found TWU WUB! 57786

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
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Penguin
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Penguin

Join date : 2009-07-18
Location : Wild Gray Yonder

Gaara found TWU WUB! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Gaara found TWU WUB!   Gaara found TWU WUB! EmptyFri Oct 01, 2010 6:41 pm

Cyberwulf wrote:
Exodia's Right Leg wrote:

I thought this site was for snark and mockery. Good thing people like Cyberwulf are here to uphold our standards. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Standards only apply to high-brow literary endeavours, like fanfiction. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Wow. You know, you've berated people out for responding to trolls who've said less retarded things than this.
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Nevvy
Sporkbender
Sporkbender


Join date : 2009-06-30

Gaara found TWU WUB! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Gaara found TWU WUB!   Gaara found TWU WUB! EmptySat Oct 02, 2010 2:13 am

Honest to God just an honest question, Cyber, has it ever been much different than this? I don't recall that there ever was a time where every single badfic snarked was Golden Oldies bad, and I've been around since the green boards.

But on that subject, maybe the supposed draught in top-quality snarks as opposed to just good ones is due to there not being a big fandom pretty much everyone knows and cares about. We used to drown in Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean and Harry Potter badfic, but right now the big thing is Twilight and badfic about that has more merits than the original.
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Gaara found TWU WUB! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Gaara found TWU WUB!   Gaara found TWU WUB! Empty

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