Why God, Why?
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
Why God, Why?


 
HomeHome  RegisterRegister  Log in  

 

 Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo

Go down 
AuthorMessage
Airrider

Airrider

Join date : 2009-12-26
Location : A few feet over that way. No, THAT way

Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo Empty
PostSubject: Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo   Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo EmptySun Sep 26, 2010 6:44 pm

...a cookie to whoever gets the reference in my topic description...anyway...


...right, folks, I have been racking my brain for MONTHS trying to figure out how to jump into the lovely sporking to be had on WGW, but I finally figured out what to do: play to my strengths and write within my fandom.

I really love Chobits. Anyone out here love Chobits?

For those who don't know, Chobits is a manga created by CLAMP that was later turned into an anime about a guy named Hideki Motosuwa who lives in a world where androids with personal computer functionality called persocoms are widespread. He finds a mysterious one in the trash with no memory named Chii. He helps Chii get used to this mysterious world of ours, tries to figure out the mystery behind Chii's deactivated, wiped state, and along the way realizes she could be becoming more than just a companion, and definitely more than a computer...

(Off-topic, while I may be one of those lonely girlfriend-less types I still think a persocom would be great. You could at least always have a wingman during these sporkings...someone who can pay witness to what I see on some of these sites and say "yeah, it's real, I saw it too." Yeesh, sometimes...)

Anyway, lemme continue explaining this. Let me introduce one last person for the purpose of this sporking.

This guy is Shinbo Hiromu. He's Hideki's best friend. Seen here with his laptop persocom, Sumomo, he is Hideki's guide and companion to the world of persocoms and sticks with him as he tries to figure out Chii's past and what kind of future she may have.

So I'm hoping at least one of you anime/manga fandom-savvy people might know why I'm preparing this fresh dish of Japanese snark-o-nabe. For those who don't have an idea, CLAMP has a thing for boys love in their works. There's nothing wrong with this: there's Yue and Touya in Cardcaptor Sakura, there's Fai and Kurogane in Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, there's things like that. Those are all fine. And since it's yaoi, it receives a lot of fangirl attention. Some good, because after all there are yaoi fans out there that have a functional frontal lobe, and most bad, because there are yaoi fans can't get past yaoi by itself and just go, well, "YAOI! SQUEEEEE--- Schlick " and there's no end to it.

Chobits is generally an exception because of, well, the way the story works.
Spoiler:
 
Not...a lot of wiggle room for yaoi, considering everyone who we follow is more or less solidly confirmed straight in Chobits. And all the relationships are lovely, but that's my opinion.


...but like how you're going to find an unpopped kernel in every bag of popcorn, there's a yaoi fangirl in every fandom.

Enter prin1cess. I'm guessing either "pr1ncess" was already taken or she can't type "pr1ncess" right. I honestly took one look at the summaries of her other three stories and couldn't hit the back button fast enough. And enter her story...ahem..."sheenbo." I capitalized it in the title, she didn't. The story of yaoi lemon between Hideki and Shinbo that flows about as well as eating oatmeal with broken glass in it.

Oh yeah, and by the way, nobody's ever called Shinbo "Sheenbo." Never in the anime, never in the manga, and as far as I know, "Sheenbo" is just a really weird way to pronounce "Shinbo." There's no reason to call Shinbo "Sheenbo" unless you were having someone make fun of him in a fic of yours or something by calling him a baby name.

I'm at least reasonably sure she isn't a troll.

Reasonably.

I'm sporking the whole thing here because there is so little to this fic that sporking only some of it really wouldn't do it justice.

Anyway...let's take a look, shall we?


Quote :
This is my first Yaoi lemon so i'm sorry if its bad...this was to get out of writers BLOCK...

And we just HAD to publish it raw on the Intertubes, did we?

Quote :
KNOCK KNOCK!

'hey motosua whats up? I was in th neighborhood so I decided to stop by'

More than in the neighborhood, Shinbo's in the same apartment building as Hideki is. Right next door to his room.

Quote :
'sheenbo you liar the power is out at your place so you wanted to crash here..am I right...?'

Shinbo: Uh, the power's out in your room too, we live in the same building, Motosuwa.
Hideki: ...oh right...that was some bad beer...
Shinbo: Gonna need the bathroom?
Hideki: I'll be right back. *urk*

Quote :
'your smarter than I thought hideki'

'some best friend you are'

'oh I was only teasing you don't have to get upset all of a sudden'

'whatever'

'where's chi by the way?'

'miss manager is her "mom"(creator)so she went to live with her.. '

Hideki: In fact, I think I'll go get her. Hang on a sec, I'll go downstairs.

Okay, gotta say it again: THEY ALL LIVE IN THE SAME BUILDING! Chitose Hibiya is Hideki and Shimbo's landlady, and as the fic very briefly touches upon, created Chii. And if Chii went to live with Chitose, that means she's just a floor down now! That's not a very good way to shove the other main character of the story onto a bus carrying fridges with a bridge poised and ready to drop on it.

Quote :
'and I thought you had a thing for her..'

'…'

Thanks, fellas. I'LL be pointing out the story inconsistencies, if you don't mind!

Quote :
'check out this pervy video I got…wana watch it?'

'you bet!'

Shinbo: Because that's what we do because we're guys, right? Watch pervy videos?...yes? No? Any takers?
Hideki: ...you okay, Shinbo? Besides, the power's out!

I hope people see what I'm trying to do here in this sporking. Hideki and Shinbo don't need a yaoi relationship to still be two peas in a pod. I hope I'm doing this right; describing how their dynamic as two best buds would work if these dudes were written properly, if not even canon.

Quote :
10 MINUITES INTO THE MOVIE

Aw, crud, the right typo and I could've made a classical music joke. I was trained as a pianist as a kid.

Quote :
'I'm gonna take a shower…

'now?'

Shinbo: Yeah, because everyone knows I invite you to the bathhouse right after watching 10 minutes of a porno.
Hideki: *chortle*

Quote :
There was no reply he dashed off in a flash. when he reached the bathroom sheenbo was sweating he

knew it was a bad idea but somehow he couldn't stay away..he also didn't want to admit that he was in

love with his best friend

Okay, folks, HERE we go...

Quote :
had been Ever since they he there was Takako he thought he would be

able to hide his feelings by dating her but instead it awakened them even more and in the end they broke up.


...okay, okay...now I will admit this kind of a lack of knowledge of the character relationships in Chobits MIGHT be trolling, but still. Anyone experienced with Chobits would know that Shinbo has a thing for Takako Shimizu, the young teacher at the cram school he and Hideki go to. It gets more obvious as the series goes along.

Quote :
now he had the perfect opportunity! it was only the two of them no-one things he could do...NO! he shook the thought from his head but to no avail.

and the video they watched wasn't

helping him at all turns out it was about gay guys…getting it on..…and the one looked similar to hideki

Shinbo: ...wow, that wasn't the one I wanted to get.
Hideki: Mix-up at the rental?
Shinbo: This has gotta be some kinda prank!

Quote :
that was the primary reason for running in the bathroom,he had a problem he needed to take care of…

Probably trying to find a place to laugh himself asphyxiated without scaring the rest of the apartment.

Quote :
Meanwhile, hideki was relieved after sheenbo left…he didn't think he could hide the increasing bulge in

his pants any longer so he decided he needed to get rid of it and fast so he started stroking his length all the while imaganing it was his best friend

moan..'sheenbo…'

'sheen-bo'

Okay, I gotta admit, now this gets funny. I'm not sure prin1cess meant to write comedy here, but she's succeeding. Now I'm sort of hoping this is a stealth parody of yaoi lemons as a whole.

Quote :
'yes?'

''hideki quickly scrambled up and covered his now bare

frount with his hands 'this….This isn't what it looks like i was'

...please?

Quote :
'great minds think alike'

'what?'

Just then sheenbo crashed his lips on to hideki's capturing them in a passionate kiss after they were

...*sigh* No, never mind, this can't be parody.

Quote :
starting to pass out because of the lack of air,they broke apart.

I CAN'T HOLD THE YAOI ANY MORE! SHE'S BREAKING APART! MAYDAY! MAYDAY!

Quote :
'sheenbo…. '

'yes darling'

*snortchortle* Wow, damn, they move quick don't they?

Quote :
'let's do the stuff they did in the movie'

Hideki: You know, all ten minutes of poorly-acted buildup we probably saw in the movie.

Quote :
'are you sure you don't have to do this for my sake you know'

'of course I'm sure I really want this I want..you'

Brace for the Chobits fandom being dynamited to make room for gratuitous yaoi lemon in three...two...one...

Quote :
hideki then tugged sheenbo's pants and underwear off

together….and took him in his mouth.

'hideki…more'

...IMPACT! *KTHOOOOM*

Quote :
Hideki sucked as best he could until sheenbo released into his mouth

'how was that?'

'pant AMAZING'

Now for a little more background:

It took all eight volumes of the manga for
Spoiler:
 

All of the other romances either wrapped up in the seventh or the eighth, and they all started with hints and tones set down since either the first or second volume of the manga.

IT TAKES 717 POORLY WRITTEN WORDS FOR HIDEKI TO DROP EVERYTHING TO HAVE GAY SEX WITH SHIMBO

Yaoi logic my ass, this is forced!

Erm...well I...uhhh...I don't know what else to talk about here.

So you know what? I'm going to cut the rest of it. You know what it is that happens next: yaoi buttsex and the flattest, drabbest ending ever:

Quote :
'I love you'

'me too'

'will you stay with me'

'of course'

And that's it, then it just ends. No epilogue, no "the end," no author's notes and no written apology to anyone who thought Chobits yaoi wasn't such a crazy idea and had the misfortune to stumble across this thing.

It boggles the mind; what must go through the minds of these yaoi fangirls who think that wherever guys are even vaguely friends can become lovers in a heartbeat is probably a set of divine (or would that be hellish?) commands in a language incomprehensible to the human mind.

Anyway, thank you and enjoy this very first sporking I've attempted.
Back to top Go down
XLT-100852.0
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
XLT-100852.0

Join date : 2010-07-18
Age : 28
Location : interwebs

Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo   Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo EmptySun Sep 26, 2010 6:56 pm

I was expecting terribly written porn with dudes that own 20 inch long cocks who fuck each other in-urethra, but all I got someone newbie whining about the "implausibility" of slash.
Back to top Go down
Airrider

Airrider

Join date : 2009-12-26
Location : A few feet over that way. No, THAT way

Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo   Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo EmptySun Sep 26, 2010 6:57 pm

Eh. It still amused me. I've got no problem with slash, but it's a poorly-written one in a fandom that very rarely gets it, so why not celebrate it?
Back to top Go down
XLT-100852.0
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
XLT-100852.0

Join date : 2010-07-18
Age : 28
Location : interwebs

Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo   Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo EmptySun Sep 26, 2010 7:02 pm

Airrider wrote:
Eh. It still amused me. I've got no problem with slash, but it's a poorly-written one in a fandom that very rarely gets it, so why not celebrate it?

It was dull and uninteresting, not even worth the time to read it let alone mock it. It's far from being Miss Mary or Subjugation.
Back to top Go down
Airrider

Airrider

Join date : 2009-12-26
Location : A few feet over that way. No, THAT way

Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo   Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo EmptySun Sep 26, 2010 7:05 pm

Whatever, I'll build up to something like that. Not like this is my only chance to post a sporking anyway.

I see that merely odd material isn't enough here, so I guess I'll return with a new sporking when I have a real stinker on my hands.
Back to top Go down
Cyberwulf
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Cyberwulf

Join date : 2009-06-03
Age : 39
Location : TRILOBITE!

Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo   Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo EmptySun Sep 26, 2010 7:21 pm

When you do come back, make sure it's an actual badfic and not just a pairing you don't like. Don't quote the whole thing. And for the love of God people would you ever write reviews instead of 'MSTs' that aren't nearly as devastatingly funny as you think they are.
Back to top Go down
Airrider

Airrider

Join date : 2009-12-26
Location : A few feet over that way. No, THAT way

Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo   Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo EmptySun Sep 26, 2010 7:23 pm

Alright, I'm sorry. I just thought it'd be amusing to highlight it, that's all. Live and learn.
Back to top Go down
EileenK98
Recovering Fanbrat
Recovering Fanbrat
EileenK98

Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 52
Location : very, very close to Chris

Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo   Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo EmptyMon Sep 27, 2010 3:47 pm

Quote :
'hey motosua whats up? I was in th neighborhood so I decided to stop by'

'sheenbo you liar the power is out at your place so you wanted to crash here..am I right...?'

'your smarter than I thought hideki'

'some best friend you are'

'oh I was only teasing you don't have to get upset all of a sudden'

'whatever'


Um, hello? Capital letters? Are you hiding? Did you steal all the punctuation and run?


Quote :
There was no reply he dashed off in a flash. when he reached the bathroom sheenbo was sweating he

knew it was a bad idea but somehow he couldn't stay away..he also didn't want to admit that he was in

love with his best friend had been Ever since they he there was Takako he thought he would be

able to hide his feelings by dating her but instead it awakened them even more and in the end they broke up. now

he had the perfect opportunity! it was only the two of them no-one things he could do...NO! he shook the thought from his head but to no avail.

and the video they watched wasn't

helping him at all turns out it was about gay guys…getting it on..…and the one looked similar to hideki

that was the primary reason for running in the bathroom,he had a problem he needed to take care of…


Ouch . . . the run-on sentences are hurting my brain.

Quote :
hideki then tugged sheenbo's pants and underwear off

together….and took him in his mouth.

'hideki…more'

Hideki sucked as best he could until sheenbo released into his mouth

'how was that?'

'pant AMAZING'

'well we haven't even got to the best part

Just then sheenbo talked hideki and somehow got him on all fours..he positioned himself and asked for the last time.

'hideki are you sure?'

'yes now just do it already!

He thrust into him rough and hard without giving him time to adjust to his length being in him…

'FA-S-TER—SHEE-NBO!

Hideki managed to say after each thrust ,sheenbo complied and went faster and leaned over stroking

hideki while he thrust into him mercilessly.

After what seemed like an eternity of the hot sexy passion ...

they came together.


Amazing. An entire sex scene without any uses of the word penis, or bad euphemisms for same.


And Wulfie, lay off the noobs. At least they're trying to contribute.
Back to top Go down
Cyberwulf
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Cyberwulf

Join date : 2009-06-03
Age : 39
Location : TRILOBITE!

Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo   Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo EmptyMon Sep 27, 2010 4:02 pm

EileenK98 wrote:
And Wulfie, lay off the noobs. At least they're trying to contribute.
You mean like the author of this fic was trying to contribute to hir fandom?

Tell me, at what point should I tell someone their snark is unfunny boring shit? Is it a function of time or a function of the number of mediocre quasi-MSTs they post in New Releases?
Back to top Go down
XLT-100852.0
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
XLT-100852.0

Join date : 2010-07-18
Age : 28
Location : interwebs

Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo   Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo EmptyMon Sep 27, 2010 4:17 pm

Cyber, HDU snark on a snarking forum.
Back to top Go down
Reepicheep-chan
Important Person
Important Person
Reepicheep-chan

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 35
Location : IN A SEXY NEW CONDO

Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo   Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo EmptyMon Sep 27, 2010 5:26 pm

Airrider wrote:
Whatever, I'll build up to something like that. Not like this is my only chance to post a sporking anyway.
Keep trying, practice will help.

I liked this line:
Quote :
Shinbo: Because that's what we do because we're guys, right? Watch pervy videos?...yes? No? Any takers?
Back to top Go down
kelly
Sporkbender
Sporkbender


Join date : 2010-03-08

Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo   Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo EmptyWed Sep 29, 2010 7:07 pm

I love Chobits myself because it had a surprising(ly) good sub-plot and the idea was nice.


as for the slash, ya its strange for a fandom that has more hetrosexual subtext then and regular text then anything ever done by CLAMP(hell Sailor Moon had more gay subtext!)


but on the other hand Chobits was a story of a boy and his sex-robot, if you really think about it. yup she was a sex-bot and he loved her, alot of romances happined in the series some sweeter then others.


as for the snark, I'm sure your next one will be better, and hey at lest the fandom has some fanfiction in it Shocked actually that could be bad....
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo Empty
PostSubject: Re: Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo   Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo Empty

Back to top Go down
 
Chobits Yaoi Exists Case Study 01: Sheenbo
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Why God, Why? :: The Sporking Table :: New Releases-
Jump to: