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 *NSFW* THE WUMPSCUT RIDES AGAIN! A Lolokaust Guide to School Shootings in MS Paint

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jewdozer

jewdozer

Join date : 2009-08-14

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PostSubject: *NSFW* THE WUMPSCUT RIDES AGAIN! A Lolokaust Guide to School Shootings in MS Paint   *NSFW* THE WUMPSCUT RIDES AGAIN! A Lolokaust Guide to School Shootings in MS Paint EmptySat Sep 18, 2010 4:09 pm

Hi guys, its been ages since I was on here and once again I'd like your crit on this new guide we made. I'm here because some of you can actually draw and write so this is a good place to get real feedback. Please tell us what you like and don't like and keep the baiting and trolling down, no point in wasting anyone's time.

Hope you like it and thanks in advance for comments.

Introduction

Lets be frank, school is shit right? You get up at stupid hours, walk through ridiculous weather, only to be beaten by the other students and mocked by overpaid fuckers claiming to be educators. Well you should say no more, free yourself from the shackles of this systematic slavery, pull out your piece and annihilate those who oppose you!

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To be remembered you have to do something drastic. Nobody remembers the hero’s, it’s the bad guys we really celebrate. Our guide is going to help you right all those wrongs, settle scores and become immortal!

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Part 1: Why Should I Do This?


We believe that there are several sound, logical reasons for doing this, but let's talk about the most common ones.

Nine out of ten times this act occurs from a social outcast in the school. Is this you? Someone who is a bit of a loner, who resides mainly in a fantasy world composed of video games and graphically violent movies? This is a good thing, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

You see as you play these video games and watch these brutal films featuring graphic scenes of violence, you’ve been subconsciously preparing for this attack.


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Part 2: Prepare Yourself


Firepower is the key to success. The guns must be chosen wisely. Handguns run out of bullets quickly but allow versatility, shotguns do serious damage and will get your face painted at close range but like 9’s, they need reloading a lot. Using a mix of guns can work well like in the Columbine shootings. Our hero’s used a good mix of handguns, shotguns and automatic weapons. Bayonet fittings for longer guns can make your hunt very exciting.

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Arming yourself can be quite a task. You see, even though some countries and states allow you to purchase weapons over the counter, you're still too young to do so anyway so you might have to find another way...

Your best bet into educational genocide would be to make your own weapons! There are many websites and books that will instruct you on how to build a weapon from something simple like a shank to an automatic pistol, but I find that explosives should be kept as the main focus. Firearms can easily be purchased from local gangs and black markets, and knives can be purchased in nearly any store; explosives are a little trickier to come across and are more effective at communicating your message.

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If you’re on a budget and you have to think on a very minimalist scale, then why not simply look around your own (or a friends) house? Pretty much anything you have sitting on a shelf or hidden away in a cupboard can be used to bring pain and misery to those around you, I’ll list some now.

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Why with only a lighter and an aerosol you have yourself a makeshift flamethrower and for added damage, why not fill water balloons with a flammable liquid (gasoline, lighter fluid, etc). Throw at these your enemies and then give them a quick blasting with your makeshift flame thrower, watch as they roast in agony.

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Why not grab some cleaning products from around the house? You could douse that jock asshole’s face in bleach and watch him cringe as his eyes burn from the chemicals. Whilst not all of these chemicals are killers, they are irritants and can thus weaken and slow your targets. An added benefit is some of these chemicals are flammable!

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Check the garden shed and garage, you can find many a weapon in these places. Some of you may be lucky to own some small portable gardening equipment like one of those little chainsaws which could come in very handy and make the job a little more fun. You could act out your favourite games like Doom or Postal but for god sake, make sure the damn thing has been topped up with fuel because your face will be red if you have some vigil students running at you with a chair leg as you’re trying to start the damn the thing up.

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Part 3: Going in for the kill


Now it should be noted you never do this part unprepared, you need all of your weapons, some thick clothing and body armour if possible. An energy booster can help, it can come from a sports energy drink, some caffeine tablets or hell you might as well use amphetamines cause its really not going to matter what state your body is in by the end of this.

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You want to start off by checking out your school. Get to know all the exits that your targets could run from. Exits are all bad so you want to block them off using garbage, start a fire outside them or leave some timed explosives, triggered or remotely detonated if possible.
To make your message clear you want to start your attack in the most populated area, the school hall or a class is a good place to start. Take out a few of your old peers and let some escape, when these people run out screaming it will attract many to come and check out what's up, blow there heads off... show them curiosity does in fact kill the fucking cat. Knocking out the lights can also add to the excitement.

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When killing people it is tempting to shoot them in a way to bring suffering but not instant death. Whilst this may be fun now, after the attack, these people may end up being rescued and treated, giving them the potential to cash in on your attack through the media, this is very bad. Head and heart are the most important targets on the body.

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When you spot large groups, be sure to throw explosives into them but make sure these explosives detonate quickly as once the targets notice them, they will try and disperse as fast as possible. Aim for groups hiding in classrooms or in enclosed spaces.

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Remember the home made flame thrower we spoke off earlier? Well now is a good time to use it, aim for students clad in thick clothing, as much as you want to make the trashy class whores burn, they wear very little and thus its harder to keep them alight. Remember, the more clothes they wear, the easier the flames will take. Enclosed spaces are good for fire as it spreads much easier, we’re not only aiming to destroy life but also property. School buildings cost thousands to repair in tax payer’s money bringing not only pain, but financial loss.

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Whilst on the rampage it’s a good excuse to take those things you've always wanted, you know, like the dripping wet mouths of the girls in the shower room. Walk in and blow somebody's brains out to let them know you're for real. Line them up and tell them they each have 2 minutes to make your purple headed yogurt thrower spray its goodies or you'll terminate them one by one. Try and hold back so you get to kill as many as possible....fuck that, even if you cum, kill them all anyway.

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Part 4: Wave goodbye

So....you killed everyone who has crossed your path, beheaded and slaughtered those who had mocked you. Now you find yourself alone in the school, possibly surrounded by only the dead and the dying.

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Now comes the hardest part of the fun, the final shot of the day, the end of the game, now you must end your own life. If you don’t kill yourself, they will capture you and you’ll spend the rest of your life in jail, suffering at the hands of prison gangs. In some places, right wing, family loving, evangelical owned governors will feed the media with a show trial and give you the death penalty. Why let the state get all of the fun, yes, your suicide can be made fun for you.

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If you’re exhausted then I suggest a bullet to the head, its not only quick but very effective. Remember to place the gun in your mouth, aim upwards towards the brain and let it go, you should be dead in a blink. If you wish leave a message behind then a written note, CDr, drawing or simply a poem will work. This message can be an explanation of your actions or even just a list of rude words, it’s entirely your decision.

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If you wish to take the fun way out and create even more havoc then we suggest this; attach any remaining explosives to your body under your clothes and make sure they are all ready to detonate. Now walk out of the school with your hands in the air, the police/swat team will come running up to you but you will have the last laugh, detonate the explosives just as they get to you and you can possibly take out 5 - 6 law enforcers.

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Conclusion

Your deader than princess Diana but hell at least most if not all of your enemies are dead too, as the blood runs from your head and you drift off into unconsciousness let the sweet thought of your enemy’s loved ones crying uncontrollably over the barely recognisable body of their child fill your final thoughts and let you laugh your heart out with your final breaths.

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HALL OF FAME

This is where we remember our hero’s, those who have gone before us and shown us the way.
All report cards below are hyperlinks.

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Project director and text: Fagfagjewjew

Art:
Chokecherry
Cumbutcher
Engla
Fagfagjewjew
Gertraude von Euler-Donnersperg
Jewdozer
Smilecythe
Spudmeister
Xamllew

Special thanks to the models:
Gurant

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Mafiosa
You crack me up, little buddy!
You crack me up, little buddy!


Join date : 2009-06-03

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PostSubject: Re: *NSFW* THE WUMPSCUT RIDES AGAIN! A Lolokaust Guide to School Shootings in MS Paint   *NSFW* THE WUMPSCUT RIDES AGAIN! A Lolokaust Guide to School Shootings in MS Paint EmptySat Sep 18, 2010 4:49 pm

Oh hey remember when you posted this on the MSPA forums and they banned you.

heh
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Dr. Professor Science
Ghoti
Ghoti
Dr. Professor Science

Join date : 2009-06-25
Age : 29
Location : One of the guys with the giant papier-mâché dongs in Lysistrata

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Fagfagjewjew is the soul of wit. Truly, sir, we have been touched by genius today.


Last edited by Dr. Professor Science on Sat Sep 18, 2010 6:01 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Penguin
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Penguin

Join date : 2009-07-18
Location : Wild Gray Yonder

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This is why 12 year olds shouldn't get internet access.
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Sheba
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Sheba

Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 33

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Isn't this the same tardfag that thinks molesting corpses is like, totally awesome?

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InkWeaver
Harriet Tubman
Harriet Tubman
InkWeaver

Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 30
Location : Home of the peanuts.

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PostSubject: Re: *NSFW* THE WUMPSCUT RIDES AGAIN! A Lolokaust Guide to School Shootings in MS Paint   *NSFW* THE WUMPSCUT RIDES AGAIN! A Lolokaust Guide to School Shootings in MS Paint EmptySat Sep 18, 2010 7:42 pm

Sooooo...can we get rid of this one?

Please?
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Mafiosa
You crack me up, little buddy!
You crack me up, little buddy!


Join date : 2009-06-03

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PostSubject: Re: *NSFW* THE WUMPSCUT RIDES AGAIN! A Lolokaust Guide to School Shootings in MS Paint   *NSFW* THE WUMPSCUT RIDES AGAIN! A Lolokaust Guide to School Shootings in MS Paint EmptySat Sep 18, 2010 7:53 pm

InkWeaver wrote:
Sooooo...can we get rid of this one?

Please?

I can't believe you guys haven't yet.
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Dr. Professor Science
Ghoti
Ghoti
Dr. Professor Science

Join date : 2009-06-25
Age : 29
Location : One of the guys with the giant papier-mâché dongs in Lysistrata

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PostSubject: Re: *NSFW* THE WUMPSCUT RIDES AGAIN! A Lolokaust Guide to School Shootings in MS Paint   *NSFW* THE WUMPSCUT RIDES AGAIN! A Lolokaust Guide to School Shootings in MS Paint EmptySat Sep 18, 2010 8:31 pm

He doesn't post frequently enough to enter anyone's radar, but I third the banning motion.
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TheHedonist
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
TheHedonist

Join date : 2009-10-26
Location : Госпоже Правой Ноге Аниной

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MAFI WHEN DID YOU GET BACK?
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Verandering
The Gender Offender
The Gender Offender
Verandering

Join date : 2009-06-04
Location : Colorado

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SOMEBODY SAY WUMPSCUT



Fap







HELL YEAH
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Mafiosa
You crack me up, little buddy!
You crack me up, little buddy!


Join date : 2009-06-03

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TheHedonist wrote:
MAFI WHEN DID YOU GET BACK?

who cares lol
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jewdozer

jewdozer

Join date : 2009-08-14

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Guys, lets all calm down and take a step back. I've just made this with a few contacts for a bit of fun and hoped to get some reasonable crit back here.
Rather than a request to lock/ban could we take a look and advise instead? I think the drawings, considering they are paint, are not too bad.
I labelled the thread NSFW so when you came in you knew it was going to be something adult themed. Lets be fair now.
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Dr. Professor Science
Ghoti
Ghoti
Dr. Professor Science

Join date : 2009-06-25
Age : 29
Location : One of the guys with the giant papier-mâché dongs in Lysistrata

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The most worrying part is that I don't think this is a troll.
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InkWeaver
Harriet Tubman
Harriet Tubman
InkWeaver

Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 30
Location : Home of the peanuts.

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like seriously can we just get fucking rid of him already
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saeku
Fapmaster
Fapmaster


Join date : 2009-06-10

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Until it got to the report cards at the end (what the fuck is the point with those?), I liked it. Reminded me of Vilecorp meets Something Awful.

The "pills up ass" image you should get rid of because it's shitty and unfunny. Also the texture on the conclusion image is eye-burningly ugly.
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Vanilla-villa
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Vanilla-villa

Join date : 2010-04-19
Location : England

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Completely forgetting the subject matter for a moment, if you did indeed draw those pictures in mspaint, that's fucking awesome.
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jewdozer

jewdozer

Join date : 2009-08-14

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Ok one or two are beginning to get the idea now. I'm not a troll and am just here to share a bit of naughty fun.

saeku wrote:
Until it got to the report cards at the end (what the fuck is the point with those?), I liked it. Reminded me of Vilecorp meets Something Awful.

The "pills up ass" image you should get rid of because it's shitty and unfunny. Also the texture on the conclusion image is eye-burningly ugly.
The report cards at the end are just a touch of factual interest. The pills frame was rushed in at the end by someone wanting to get in on the fun. That texture you don't like was inspired by pop artist Roy Liechtenstien who you should check out.


Vanilla-villa wrote:
Completely forgetting the subject matter for a moment, if you did indeed draw those pictures in mspaint, that's fucking awesome.
All in paint, thank you.

Those 2 posts are exactly what I'm looking for. Negative feedback is just as important as positive.
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Penguin
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Penguin

Join date : 2009-07-18
Location : Wild Gray Yonder

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This is why we should nuke Finland.
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rae
Contributor
Contributor
rae

Join date : 2009-06-10
Location : computer chair

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Oh. Hey. I was wondering when you would show up again.
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jewdozer

jewdozer

Join date : 2009-08-14

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Nihilist wrote:
Okay, bro. You want a critique? I'll give it to you.

I'm going to judge all of these as a series of work- as a whole it's pretty good for MSPaint, have enough of a body of work and you can show it. But then, your work relies on shock and there is no underlying message behind it other than Nazis! Sex! Violence! Your statement on how this is what you should do because the world is getting you down, but it doesn't have any substance other than shock to gather attention. And as a result, your works only get glossed over and not really looked at.

I would research artists in the past who painted/drew/sculpted that were political dissenters and develop a more thought-out narrative that doesn't drip with pretension and perpetuation of Tough Guy posturing and sexism in your own little world because you don't see any other option and resort to violence because you see your manhood being invaded by wimpy losers who listen to Lady Gaga. It's as if Howard Stern could draw.

You have no idea the implications of what you are quoting, what you are using, and I feel as if I wasted my time attempting to critique your work.

edit: nice Lichtenstein, though. Look up Willhem De Kooning, his work also has a visceral hate of women.

What do you think, Spotts?
Thats probably the best crit I've had so far. I think you're maybe looking a bit too deeply at what we are out to do. It's not supposed to be shock tactics but a bit of cheeky adult fun.
The text on this one was done by a comrade of mine and it's his first attempt so an allowance can be made on a few glitches perhaps. Our work isn't glossed over by everybody, I get quite a bit of fan mail through and the feedback is usually pretty good, some more than others admittedly.

The point you make about the images being a little too direct as opposed to a more thought out approach is a valid point. Liechtenstein did a pic where the suggestion of the American flag was drawn into the background. Its a fantastic use of subtlety that got it sold at auction recently for a staggering amount of money.

Your time wasn't wasted, it has given me something to think about. Thanks for giving me your time.
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