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Sara Jaye
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Sara Jaye


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 40
Location : Above a bookshop.

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PostSubject: Wham Bam, this section's in a jam!   Wham Bam, this section's in a jam! EmptyWed Jul 21, 2010 10:13 pm

...I don't know. For some reason I've developed a huge interest in Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan lately, it's a neat show and I've always been a sucker for Scooby-Doo style mystery cartoons from the 70s. I've even been having fic ideas for it lately QUIT STARING AT ME.

But anyway. The Chan Clan is such an obscure series I was surprised to find a section for it on ff.net. People exploring the lives of the kids outside their efforts to help their dad solve mysteries? That sounds fun!

Unfortunately, its offerings are like cracking open a peanut shell and finding a shrivelled dusty nut inside. :/ The authors there just...do not believe in grammar or punctuation. Here are the two big offenders.

rowdyroughman. Apparently ships Anne/Flip and Scooter/Suzie. Amittedly, the former doesn't bother me because in my mind, Flip having a sort of innocent "little brother thinks his big sis is the coolest girl in the world" crush is a cute idea. But the latter? Suzie is about 16. Scooter is anywhere from 5 to 8. See what's wrong with this picture?. D:

Anyway, two of his stories actually have a bare sort of plot that could've been interesting had he, y'know, put some effort into them. The other one seems like it could happen in-series if it was just a kidnapper and not a killer, but he shoehorns a in reference to Spongebob Squarepants (which didn't exist in the 70s). But the horrible quality of the writing just RUINS EVERYTHING. And all 57 of his fics are like this. You'd think a guy who loves writing so much would put a little more effort into it.

Next up, we have an incestual love story story entitled Henry and Tom's winter morning. In which Tom apparently has homoerotic desires for his big brother Henry and decides to act on them one morning. While they're already late to meet the others for solving a mystery. Boy, I can just see how well that'd go over with their dad.

"Yeah, sorry we didn't show up, Pop, Tom wanted me to have sex with him. You understand, right?" "...you two are grounded."

While this author is good about using quotations and punctuation, they don't seem to believe in paragraph breaks which is just as hard on the eyes.


A few choice snippets:

Quote :
Anne told Flip so what are we going to tell dad

Flip said will tell him they reschedule the test and will tell mrs Burns we had the chan flu

Anne said sounds like a plan to me

Such a responsible big sister, that Anne.


Quote :
Meanwhile Henry & Stanly Were Driven The Chan Van To Find Mr. Chan.

But All Of A Sudden Something Struck There Tire.

Henry Said Dam It.

"But Henry, how is building a dam going to help fix our flat tire?"
"*dope slap* Just get outta the van and start chewing on some wood, Stanley!"

You know it's bad when he can't even be bothered to spell Stanley's NAME right.

Quote :
Anne smiled suddenly Susie while driven whisper to Anne pss Anne when
we split up in the house you go with Flip and ill go with little
ScooterAnne said well ok but why you want to search the place with scooter so munch Suzie said because he so cute she giggle

"Teehee, being a pedophile is fun, isn't it, Anne?"
"Even better, being incestuous pedophiles! Say, I wonder how Tom and Alan are making out with Nancy and Mimi?"

*elsewhere*

"Oh boy, Nancy, I think Alan's falling for my puppy-dog eyes!"
"Tom sure is dreamy, isn't he~?"

Quote :
Flip put his hand to Scooters shoulder Flip speaking to Scooter with a whisper yo Scooter when we split up you go with Susie and ill go with Anne

Scooter said ok chief but why were spliting up with the girls why cant we search for theme together chief

note- Scooter always like calling Flip chief

Note-inserting author's notes into the story is annoying. Razz I do like the idea of mixing up the usual teams, though.


Quote :
Tom knew it was now or never to make love to his older brother. "Henry, can I ask you something?" asked Tom. "Sure, you can ask me anything, little bro". answered Henry. "I've had sexual dreams about you and me for 3 years. I was wondering if we could "do it" right now". said Tom.

"Actually, I don't think that's a good idea, we're already running late as it is."
"Pop told me we should stay here for the day. Come on, bang your little brother!"
"... *picks up the phone, dials the museum* Pop? I think something's wrong with Tom, maybe we better put the mystery on hold and get him to a doctor."
"Wait! I was only kidding, I just asked to see how you'd react! ...I'm gonna be in a straitjacket by the end of the day, aren't I?"

You may stone me now, for kicking your childhood in the nuts with that last one.

Is it snobby and elitist of me, that I look at the one fic I have up there and think "wow, even if it's not the best thing I ever wrote at least it's the only decent fic in this section"?
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your mom
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
your mom


Join date : 2010-02-25
Age : 36
Location : Endor's forest moon

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PostSubject: Re: Wham Bam, this section's in a jam!   Wham Bam, this section's in a jam! EmptyThu Jul 22, 2010 8:09 am

Oh wow. I must admit that I've never heard of the fandom, but those fics are just awful XDD

Quote :
Tom knew it was now or never to
make love to his older brother. "Henry, can I ask you something?" asked
Tom. "Sure, you can ask me anything, little bro". answered Henry. "I've
had sexual dreams about you and me for 3 years. I was wondering if we
could "do it" right now". said Tom.

Like, dude. No.

And no, it's not snobby at all of you, it's just fact. You are now the best writer in that fandom. Feel proud of your accomplishment. :D
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Reepicheep-chan
Important Person
Important Person
Reepicheep-chan


Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 38
Location : IN A SEXY NEW CONDO

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PostSubject: Re: Wham Bam, this section's in a jam!   Wham Bam, this section's in a jam! EmptyThu Jul 22, 2010 9:12 am

Sara Jaye is on her way to BIG NAME FANDOM~
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Sara Jaye
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Sara Jaye


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 40
Location : Above a bookshop.

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PostSubject: Re: Wham Bam, this section's in a jam!   Wham Bam, this section's in a jam! EmptyThu Jul 22, 2010 9:47 am

your mom wrote:
Oh wow. I must admit that I've never heard of the fandom, but those fics are just awful XDD

Quote :
Tom knew it was now or never to
make love to his older brother. "Henry, can I ask you something?" asked
Tom. "Sure, you can ask me anything, little bro". answered Henry. "I've
had sexual dreams about you and me for 3 years. I was wondering if we
could "do it" right now". said Tom.

Like, dude. No.

I know the show isn't huge on character development, but I can't see responsible Henry agreeing to this. It seems like one of those sitcom scenarios that would end in a heart to heart about the character's burgeoning sexuality instead of a hot incestuous romp.

Quote :
And no, it's not snobby at all of you, it's just fact. You are now the best writer in that fandom. Feel proud of your accomplishment. :D

Heh, thanks. XD
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Sara Jaye
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Sara Jaye


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 40
Location : Above a bookshop.

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PostSubject: Re: Wham Bam, this section's in a jam!   Wham Bam, this section's in a jam! EmptyThu Jul 22, 2010 9:49 am

Reepicheep-chan wrote:
Sara Jaye is on her way to BIG NAME FANDOM~

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I dunno about THAT, all I really did was follow the rules of basic grammar and all.
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pirategrrl
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
pirategrrl


Join date : 2009-12-24
Age : 41
Location : In badfic land.

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PostSubject: Re: Wham Bam, this section's in a jam!   Wham Bam, this section's in a jam! EmptyThu Jul 22, 2010 12:41 pm

Awesome. I've never seen the show but that incest fic is gross yet somehow priceless.

Quote :
He had 8 extremely, well-toned rock-hard abs, 2 very thick, nearly tan pectorals, and very swelled and gianormous muscles.

How old is this kid again?

Quote :
Blood was visible as it dripped by the cups.

Whoa now. By the cups?

*is reminded of Lorena/Bill scene in TrueBlood where they do it in a blood soaked mattress*

Not sexy there, not sexy here.
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Sara Jaye
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Sara Jaye


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 40
Location : Above a bookshop.

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PostSubject: Re: Wham Bam, this section's in a jam!   Wham Bam, this section's in a jam! EmptyThu Jul 22, 2010 12:59 pm

pirategrrl wrote:
Awesome. I've never seen the show but that incest fic is gross yet somehow priceless.

Quote :
He had 8 extremely, well-toned rock-hard abs, 2 very thick, nearly tan pectorals, and very swelled and gianormous muscles.

How old is this kid again?

Quote :
Blood was visible as it dripped by the cups.

Whoa now. By the cups?

*is reminded of Lorena/Bill scene in TrueBlood where they do it in a blood soaked mattress*

Not sexy there, not sexy here.
I'd imagine Henry is about 17-18 and while his character design is rather well-built, he's far from Mr. Muscle. And yeah, the cups part threw me as well until I realized "...oh my God, he's making his 13-15 year old brother bleed buckets through buttsex". And then I shuddered.
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pirategrrl
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
pirategrrl


Join date : 2009-12-24
Age : 41
Location : In badfic land.

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PostSubject: Re: Wham Bam, this section's in a jam!   Wham Bam, this section's in a jam! EmptyThu Jul 22, 2010 2:55 pm

Sara Jaye wrote:
13-15 year old brother

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
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Sara Jaye
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Sara Jaye


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 40
Location : Above a bookshop.

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PostSubject: Re: Wham Bam, this section's in a jam!   Wham Bam, this section's in a jam! EmptyThu Jul 22, 2010 3:01 pm

pirategrrl wrote:
Sara Jaye wrote:
13-15 year old brother

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I know. I know. *soothing pat* If it makes you feel better the actual show contains nothing of this sort.

It does have Jodie Foster, though!
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EileenK98
Recovering Fanbrat
Recovering Fanbrat
EileenK98


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 55
Location : very, very close to Chris

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PostSubject: Re: Wham Bam, this section's in a jam!   Wham Bam, this section's in a jam! EmptyThu Jul 22, 2010 3:36 pm

Wow, nothing is too obscure to be badfic'ed.
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Sara Jaye
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Sara Jaye


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 40
Location : Above a bookshop.

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PostSubject: Re: Wham Bam, this section's in a jam!   Wham Bam, this section's in a jam! EmptyThu Jul 22, 2010 4:03 pm

EileenK98 wrote:
Wow, nothing is too obscure to be badfic'ed.

Except for The Littl' Bits and Idol Project. ;_;
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pirategrrl
Sporkbender
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pirategrrl


Join date : 2009-12-24
Age : 41
Location : In badfic land.

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PostSubject: Re: Wham Bam, this section's in a jam!   Wham Bam, this section's in a jam! EmptyThu Jul 22, 2010 9:19 pm

Sara Jaye wrote:
EileenK98 wrote:
Wow, nothing is too obscure to be badfic'ed.

Except for The Littl' Bits and Idol Project. ;_;

Now, now, don't cry. You could always put their character names into the drabble o' matic.
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Sara Jaye
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Sara Jaye


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 40
Location : Above a bookshop.

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PostSubject: Re: Wham Bam, this section's in a jam!   Wham Bam, this section's in a jam! EmptyThu Jul 22, 2010 10:07 pm

pirategrrl wrote:
Sara Jaye wrote:
EileenK98 wrote:
Wow, nothing is too obscure to be badfic'ed.

Except for The Littl' Bits and Idol Project. ;_;

Now, now, don't cry. You could always put their character names into the drabble o' matic.

LOL, I forgot all about that thing! XD I should go back to making crackfic with it, those were good times.
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