...I don't know. For some reason I've developed a huge interest in Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan lately, it's a neat show and I've always been a sucker for Scooby-Doo style mystery cartoons from the 70s. I've even been having fic ideas for it lately QUIT STARING AT ME.
But anyway. The Chan Clan is such an obscure series I was surprised to find a section for it on ff.net. People exploring the lives of the kids outside their efforts to help their dad solve mysteries? That sounds fun!
Unfortunately, its offerings are like cracking open a peanut shell and finding a shrivelled dusty nut inside. :/ The authors there just...do not believe in grammar or punctuation. Here are the two big offenders.
rowdyroughman. Apparently ships Anne/Flip and Scooter/Suzie. Amittedly, the former doesn't bother me because in my mind, Flip having a sort of innocent "little brother thinks his big sis is the coolest girl in the world" crush is a cute idea. But the latter? Suzie is about 16. Scooter is anywhere from 5 to 8. See what's wrong with this picture?. D:
Anyway, two of his stories actually have a bare sort of plot that could've been interesting had he, y'know, put some effort into them. The other one seems like it could happen in-series if it was just a kidnapper and not a killer, but he shoehorns a in reference to Spongebob Squarepants (which didn't exist in the 70s). But the horrible quality of the writing just RUINS EVERYTHING. And all 57 of his fics are like this. You'd think a guy who loves writing so much would put a little more effort into it.
Next up, we have an incestual love story story entitled Henry and Tom's winter morning. In which Tom apparently has homoerotic desires for his big brother Henry and decides to act on them one morning. While they're already late to meet the others for solving a mystery. Boy, I can just see how well that'd go over with their dad.
"Yeah, sorry we didn't show up, Pop, Tom wanted me to have sex with him. You understand, right?" "...you two are grounded."
While this author is good about using quotations and punctuation, they don't seem to believe in paragraph breaks which is just as hard on the eyes.
A few choice snippets:
- Quote :
- Anne told Flip so what are we going to tell dad
Flip said will tell him they reschedule the test and will tell mrs Burns we had the chan flu
Anne said sounds like a plan to me
Such a responsible big sister, that Anne.
- Quote :
- Meanwhile Henry & Stanly Were Driven The Chan Van To Find Mr. Chan.
But All Of A Sudden Something Struck There Tire.
Henry Said Dam It.
"But Henry, how is building a dam going to help fix our flat tire?"
"*dope slap* Just get outta the van and start chewing on some wood, Stanley!"
You know it's bad when he can't even be bothered to spell Stanley's NAME right.
- Quote :
- Anne smiled suddenly Susie while driven whisper to Anne pss Anne when
we split up in the house you go with Flip and ill go with little
ScooterAnne said well ok but why you want to search the place with scooter so munch Suzie said because he so cute she giggle
"Teehee, being a pedophile is fun, isn't it, Anne?"
"Even better, being incestuous pedophiles! Say, I wonder how Tom and Alan are making out with Nancy and Mimi?"
*elsewhere*
"Oh boy, Nancy, I think Alan's falling for my puppy-dog eyes!"
"Tom sure is dreamy, isn't he~?"
- Quote :
- Flip put his hand to Scooters shoulder Flip speaking to Scooter with a whisper yo Scooter when we split up you go with Susie and ill go with Anne
Scooter said ok chief but why were spliting up with the girls why cant we search for theme together chief
note- Scooter always like calling Flip chief
Note-inserting author's notes into the story is annoying.
I do like the idea of mixing up the usual teams, though.
- Quote :
- Tom knew it was now or never to make love to his older brother. "Henry, can I ask you something?" asked Tom. "Sure, you can ask me anything, little bro". answered Henry. "I've had sexual dreams about you and me for 3 years. I was wondering if we could "do it" right now". said Tom.
"Actually, I don't think that's a good idea, we're already running late as it is."
"Pop told me we should stay here for the day. Come on, bang your little brother!"
"... *picks up the phone, dials the museum* Pop? I think something's wrong with Tom, maybe we better put the mystery on hold and get him to a doctor."
"Wait! I was only kidding, I just asked to see how you'd react! ...I'm gonna be in a straitjacket by the end of the day, aren't I?"
You may stone me now, for kicking your childhood in the nuts with that last one.
Is it snobby and elitist of me, that I look at the one fic I have up there and think "wow, even if it's not the best thing I ever wrote at least it's the only decent fic in this section"?
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