Elypse Art (NWS, NBS)

Ah, The Portal of Evil. Every so often, when I'm feeling particularly uninspired, I'll mosey on over and discover something new and brain-breaking. Like this, for instance:

Elypse Art

But Badger, I hear you saying, Elypse Art doesn't sound like a bad name for an art website. That's because you don't know what Elypse Art creates yet. But they'll be happy to tell you:

Quote :

Vixen, Magic, Neo & Uni Inflatable Silicone Dog Dildos

* Meticulously hand crafted, canine (K9, dog, animal shaped) dildos individually fashioned by skilled artisans using the highest quality materials and medical grade silicone.
* Highest quality, most realistic animal dildos available.
* Experience Vixen, Magic, Neo, Uni & Equinox

The Tie Kit Included Free With Every Double Order or Second Order

* Experience you partner and yourself like never before.
* Connect any two models at the base and tie with your partner.

Equinox Squirting, Harness Compatible, Equine (Horse) Dildo

Cinnalube Our Signature Personal Lubricant

* Hypoallergenic, water based, wicked slippery, with just a hint of sensual cinnamon.

Harness

Squirting-Inflatable Models

Yes, folks, they make inflatable dog peni. Complete with 'knots' so you can achieve that wonderful feeling of not being able to get away from your partner until they decide to come.

They just sound so...cheerful about the whole thing, it's hard to remember they're doing something that's essentially wrong.

Be sure to check out the 'Products' and 'Testamonials" sections. I would, however, suggest you skip the 'Links' page, unless you're interested in talking with people who actually practice beastility on a regular basis.

Those wouldn't be so bad if they didn't constantly play up the 'lol dog cock' aspect (right down to specifying which breed each model is based on, which I suppose is nice if you're buying based on your preferences as opposed to minor details like, oh I don't know, what actually fits). They're not veiny replicas of human penises* or excessively cutesy, which is one thing at least. One very small thing.

*Which they wouldn't be anyway under the circumstances, but I've never understood why so many manufacturers think liking toys means you like dicks.