Gotta love an author so self-absorbed that even the self-insert Mary Sue of Bella wasn't good enough, she had to create her own. I had some trouble with formatting so please excuse if it looks ugly.
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- Bella got back on her tricycle and began wheeling down the road again. She was probably headed for the Gestapo base. She could give them the film...
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- We coulnd't catch up with her on heer trycle!
Ultimate question: why is Bella riding a TRICYCLE? Is the author just drawing from his/her (OK, obviously her) real life in this regard?
Also, how do you *not* catch up with someone on a tricycle, not even counting ~*super speshul vampire speed!1!*~?
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- She hadn't reported Edward to the Gestapo yet because she was getting so much
vampire sex from him
At least she has one character trait of Bella's right.
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- No one likes being ran by the Germany really but we can't say anything or we'll get execute!
EXECUTE! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
EXEGGCUTOR!
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- "Look, Bella, in a few momments from now the Gestapo will have the film of us together, and they'll come after us. There's no telling what they could do thenn!" he looked at me in
the worried way for a moment, "But I tell you something, we could do something that reallyl matters. We could take the plane to the Germany and stpo this madness once and for all. We ending the Nazi Regine and then go back to a free indepence Amemrica!"
Calling her by the name of his crazy ex who caused the predicament they're in? Ouch. She should dump his marbley ass. Also, Nazi Regina = Bella, Queen of the Nazis?
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- Before he could reach to the telephone and phone the Gestapo, I grabbed out my mace and maced him.
"Oh nein!" he said, as he fell to the ground and into a deep sleep.
I'm not sure that's how mace works [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
LMAO!! I feel like she must be referring to the weapon mace, although Idk how the man would have time to say, "Oh nein!" Her German spelling is better than her English half the time.
Also, is everyone at the airport cool with the ticket counter man getting attacked? Silly question I guess, it's an airport. Everyone for themselves. The people in the huge long line trailing teh sparklurs probably consider it a tossup: one less line to go in, but the guy was a douche with an annoying accent anyway. Wash.
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- "Yeah we rule!" I laughed, as we took the tickets from the ticket conductors hand and boarded into the plane.
Me and Edward sat next to each other on the plane, I was worry that others could see that Edward was a vampire, but no one did because the plan was empty.
I'll say.
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- "Why the plane is so empty?" I asked a question.
Because everyone's still in check-in since you maced the one person working there. Also, appoint R@|nb0 Captain Obvious for "the 'I asked a question' line that automatically follows... the asking of a question.
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- "Nazi Germany is taking Americas money to fuel it's viscous BLOODLUST!" said Edward, "No one has enough money to plane, only I took my life savings out of the bank to do this with you. It doesn't matter if we don't have enough money to get back, we'r'e not excpecting to come back
anwyay."
Viscous BLOODLUST!!!! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
To be fair, literal BLOODLUST! would get very viscous.
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- "You never know," I said, looking up from my newspaper, "We might get lucky. Hey, in this Newspaper, it says taht Hitler is celebrttating his 200th Birthday with a Reichparty! In Berlin! We msut go and see this and then kill Hitlar!"
The more you wish you didn't know: That means that this story is set in the year 2089
Also, 'Reichparty' [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
LMAO@Reichparty. The timing of this story, with a human Bella, certainly explains why Edward is cheating on her, though.
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- Suddenly, the plane landed!
IT FEEL FROM THE SKY
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- "Ze plane is landet!" said the pilot, and we left the plane as quietly as we could so that we didn't draw attention to us from the Berlin Airport.
Isn't that like closing the playhouse door after 95-year-old Bella cycles furiously away on her tricycle?
- kelley28 wrote:
- What I want to know is, what is "vampire sex",
and how does it differ from actual sex?
MOAR BRUISES FEWER
HOUSES. Srsly, the books say so themselves.
- littledorrit wrote:
- In the hands of a very, very, very good writer
with an excellent grasp on history, a fic in which the Cullens are
somehow involved in Nazi Germany could work. I imagine that a darkfic
about the actual moral dilemmas vegeterian vampires would face in a concentration camp might be interesting and good...if Tolstoy wrote it. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Now
I want this story but written by Shostakovich, "One Day in the Life of
Isabella Swan Cullen". Or perhaps I just want all the Twilight
characters to be exiled in a prison camp in Siberia forced to lay
bricks in the dead of winter.
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- We got a Teddy Bear Costume for Edward in the Kostümverleih[...] "Ah, hallo zere!" said some guy who was German, "Velkom to Berlin! I hop zat you enjoy your stay here! Zay, vhy is your friend dressed up az a bear like zat?"[...]"Hallo und welkom to ze German News" said the guy who reads news, "Und here today ve celebrate ze 200th birthday of our fuhuruer, Hitler! Ze party
is on Berlin, here!"[...]"Becuase if your not zen you musst get out of
mein ReichshoP!"
Why did she bother to look up an actual German
word if this is the way the Germans are speaking? Based on the
language, I suspect that the Brits/Americans are using Hitler as a
figurehead to conquer the world with, since everyone's speaking English
anyway. Now
that's an alternate history.
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- "I have a gun pistol, I whill use it when it is the time to use it."
What a blunderbuss Edward is.
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- "Ve hav a chance to expand Germany, und ve kan tak ze
izland of Britian and all of the France,"
I figured it out. The
Germanglish is an excuse to provide even worse spelling.
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- German jumping beans.
LOL what are those?
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- "Und also ve vill take ze America more and force ze vampires into exile and kill zem," Hitler gave the salute thing and the Germans cheered some more."SIG HAIL" said the Germans, "VE VILL GET RID OF VAMPIRE"
'Gave the salute thing' Seriously? Salute thing? Even 'Nazi Salute' would have been a better description.
Reichsaluet!
[quote]So yes, Hitler has a robot suit that makes him impenetrable to 'NUCLEAR EXPLOSION', but Edward's 'gun pistol' bullet went through effortlessly.[quote]OMG it's a
vampire gun pistol duh.
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- "I have ended the Nazi Regine!"
See, this is the answer of what happened to Bella.
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