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 SSBB X? by lord maul160: "You have been accepted to be one of the fighters accepted"

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Reepicheep-chan
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Reepicheep-chan

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 35
Location : IN A SEXY NEW CONDO

SSBB X? by lord maul160: "You have been accepted to be one of the fighters accepted" Empty
PostSubject: SSBB X? by lord maul160: "You have been accepted to be one of the fighters accepted"   SSBB X? by lord maul160: "You have been accepted to be one of the fighters accepted" EmptySat Jan 16, 2010 10:09 pm

SSBB X? by lord maul160

Just snarking a typical Stu-fic. It is supposedly an X-Men/ Super Smash Bro.s crossover, but of course those thing mostly take a backseat to our main character's ego so it really does not matter.

Right off the bat we are treated to Stu sitting in some warehouse somewhere thinking bout how cool he is:
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My power was to absorb the abilities of others.
Soooo original, ya'know?

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I had absorbed a mutant with photographic memory.
It was the only way to remember all my powers.

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I had many powers. Shape-shifting, element bending, the works.
Olives, mushrooms, bell peppers...

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Along with teleportation, and telekinesis.
But not the ability to correctly utilize a comma.

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My name is Omni.
Rejected name ideas include: Omega, Ultimate, Infinite, and God.

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I had been resting in this warehouse for many days, now.
Because with even with all those powers he is too dumb to figure out a way to stay in a posh hotel. God-Monster the homeless man, everyone!

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Biding my time, waiting for a decent mutant I hadn’t absorbed yet to come by.
But no decent mutant would wander around the warehouse district!

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However, I heard a noise. The sound of a paper slip.
Now, I have heard of a pink slip, a Freudian slip, and even a nip slip, but I ain't ever heard of no paper slip.

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Some sort of envelope, it was.
Some sort of Yoda-based joke, I make.

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Curious, I raised it with telekinesis,
Wow. What a lazy shit.

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It had a strange symbol, and all it said was, ‘To Omni’. Who in the world knew my name?
Well, you wrote it all over your Trapper-Keeper AND your backpack.

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Not even the X-men, nor the Brotherhood had found me.
Probably they just cannot be arsed to care.

The letter reads:
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‘Omni,
You have been accepted to be one of the fighters accepted into the new, interdimensional tournament, ‘Super Smash Bros. Brawl’. Should you accept, just walk outside the door, and tell the primid you accept.
If you do not accept, simply tell the primid that you decline. Either way, thank you for your time to read this message.
Sincerely,
Master Hand’
If you do not accept we will be forced to accept that you do not accept but we will not like accepting that because there are not many people accepted to be one of the fighter accepted into this acceptance.

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Who the heck was named Master Hand?
Shit dude, you do not even want to know.

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Curious, I opened the door, and slowly stepped outside, shape-shifting into my human form.
My Care Bear form was not appropriate for company.

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Oh yeah, did I tell you I had absorbed a mutant a while back who had nearly the same powers as NightCrawler?
Umm, since when were you telling me anything?

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I absorbed enough of him for the mutant DNA to set my appearance, though I rejected the horns, demonic arm, and chest-mouth.
I am at a loss for a joke here. This is so 15-year-old fucktard trying to be cool it could be used as an example in the dictionary under “fucktarded”.

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Then, I saw the vehicle. It was a Yellow bus-like thing that from here, it looked like it could carry up to four people.
Not a Purple bus. Not a Green bus. Not a Blue bus. Yellow bus.

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The primid itself was purple, and seemed to be made of different shapes connected together.
Not a several same-ish primitive shapes connected together?

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I decided it couldn’t hurt to try this place out, considering one of my powers was dimension jumping.
Yeah, OK, whatever.

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I would've packed, but I didn't have anything to pack,
So many powers, so little money. Seriously, what is up with super-hobo? Is being a transient cool with the 15-year-old social recluse crowd now?

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“Do you accept?” The primid asked me.
“I guess so.”
“Eh, whatever.”

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I sat down in a seat, and he took off. The vehicle first slowly floated up, then warped into a portal.
My day has been made.
Yeah, you sound excited.


Two more chapters coming soon!


Last edited by Reepicheep-chan on Sun Jan 24, 2010 8:48 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Ghost in the Machine
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Ghost in the Machine

Join date : 2010-01-03
Age : 54
Location : Ohio

SSBB X? by lord maul160: "You have been accepted to be one of the fighters accepted" Empty
PostSubject: Re: SSBB X? by lord maul160: "You have been accepted to be one of the fighters accepted"   SSBB X? by lord maul160: "You have been accepted to be one of the fighters accepted" EmptySun Jan 17, 2010 6:37 am

So he's some version of Peter Petrelli before the power-down?
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Reepicheep-chan
Important Person
Important Person
Reepicheep-chan

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 35
Location : IN A SEXY NEW CONDO

SSBB X? by lord maul160: "You have been accepted to be one of the fighters accepted" Empty
PostSubject: Re: SSBB X? by lord maul160: "You have been accepted to be one of the fighters accepted"   SSBB X? by lord maul160: "You have been accepted to be one of the fighters accepted" EmptyMon Sep 27, 2010 9:32 pm

Okay, I wanted to snark a thing, and was not finding anything that inspired me. So I decided to do another chapter of this piece of crap! Yeys~!

The second chapter starts out with the kind of monomaniacal disclaimer you would expect from a Stu writer of this type:

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Disclaimer: No Nintendo, you can't sue me.
I would not tempt them, buddy.

Then we get one of those annoying ass fic 'keys'.
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'Thoughts being read.'
'Normal thoughts.'
"Speech."
"Telepathy"
Because it is vital that we know what thoughts are being read and what thoughts are not.

Anyways, our protag Omnibus here arrives at the Super Smash Brothers Brawl Mansion/ Institute:
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we landed near some sort of mansion. A thought about the Xavier Institute crossed my mind. The gate had 4 letters on it. SSBB.
I wonder if Master Hand changes the gate every game? I guess that would not be too often to manage. Maybe I should start changing my home décor to coincide with my favorite video game releases?
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The primid opened the door to the bus. I walked out, and walked toward the gate. I would've tipped the primid, but I didn't have any money on me.
Srsly? What is the deal with the penniless, homeless, God-mode Stu?

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I walked toward the gates, and phased through them.
Again, lazy. No wonder he has no money

Ok, so to make a painful story slightly shorter, Omnivore knocks on the front door (“as a courtesy”) and Samus pops out to answer it. Or at least a “blonde girl” named Samus answers it. They exchange a couple painful lines of dialog, Omnium-gatherum shows off another power for no real reason:
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'Great, just what we need, another mind-reader in the tournament.' It's not that I read her mind purposely, she just broadcast her thoughts a little loud.

Yeah, that Samus and her loud thoughts. She is just so undisciplined.

And then Omnidirectional if off to see Master Hand! Who has an office, apparently. I would like to see what his office furniture looks like...
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Nah, that would just be weird.

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At the desk, floated the giant hand I saw in the portrait earlier. I hadn't read Samus's mind too much. That would be rude.
...Good to know?

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"I want to make sure we're all on an understanding, here."
"Because if we were on a misunderstanding the whole foundation would be unstable and my pretty new house would collapse."

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"Since you have near limitless abilities, I have decided that in brawls, you will be restricted on your use of these powers."
“You can run, jump, double jump, and blow me.”

More showing off occurs and:
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"You really can read minds!" He exclaimed, "What am I thinking of right now?"
Master Hand: omnipotent puppet master or preteen girl?

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"Your brother, Crazy Hand, is an idiot who constantly has nonfatal seizures on the battlefield as an attack."
"Goddamn that idiot! Him and his crippling medial condition!"

After that pointless exchange, Omnia Vincit Amor heads to his room, where he is bunking with Mewtwo. Who has nothing better to do than play dorm mate to a superpowered hobo in a mansion owned by a disembodied hand hosting fighters for a tournament he is not even participating in.

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I teleported to my new room. It was extremely neat. Mewtwo had seen to that.
Mewtwo only stays in the most super neeto-keen rooms.

Omnisexual and Mewtwo have another tedious conversation with no purpose but to stroke the author's Omnirange's cock. Apparently he is as old as Ganondorf, so Mewtwo surmises he is not American. Although I thought he took on some Nightcrawler-esque demony-looking mutant's appearance? So, why does Mewtwo figure he is not American, he could be Native American, right? Well, anyways, it turns out he is English.

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it's a pretty cool place to go, the English accents make everyone sound smart.
*cough*

Oh, also he gets a slip of paper telling him his moves and what buttons to press to get them.
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B: Optic Blast
B right: Absorb
B down: Crater
B Up: FireJet
I wonder if he gets adorable hats when he absorbs people?
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WD40
Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach
WD40

Join date : 2010-02-15
Age : 40
Location : land of broken dreams

SSBB X? by lord maul160: "You have been accepted to be one of the fighters accepted" Empty
PostSubject: Re: SSBB X? by lord maul160: "You have been accepted to be one of the fighters accepted"   SSBB X? by lord maul160: "You have been accepted to be one of the fighters accepted" EmptyTue Sep 28, 2010 12:56 am

Quote :
it's a pretty cool place to go, the English accents make everyone sound smart.