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 Teasetting Ron

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Join date : 2009-06-03
Age : 31
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PostSubject: Teasetting Ron   Teasetting Ron EmptySun Jan 10, 2010 4:53 pm

After a bit of perusing through Google, which has and always will be everyone's friend, I have come across this. The issue with finding it was that I had to register on a website, so... I'm copypasting it off.

Here's the story in its entirety, because it's members only... under the spoiler tag.
Spoiler:
 

PWP with a teapot.

Quote :
You slowly rub the end of the spoon up and down the length of yourself. For some reason that seems to work. You can feel the spoon warming up, and with the extra warmth, you can feel the blood rushing towards it. With the blood quickly leaving your head, you can hardly think straight. Not that you were doing much thinking before.

As you rub the spoon faster, you feel short of breath, gasping at the pleasure. Some reason this simple teaspoon seemed to have an even stronger effect that your own hand was ever able to bring.

I'm reminded of those times when I was small, and my uncle would chase me down and stick his unopened frozen beer on my face. Terrible feeling, that was.

Quote :
Frantically, one hand grabbing for the teapot, your other hand is busy unbuckling your pants. You let them fall to your ankles, before tugging down your boxers with your free hand.

Without being very careful, you position yourself.

And then thrust.

And again. You push the teapot further over you, letting yourself go deeper and deeper into it, until the brim of the sprout is digging into curly red hair.

Either that's a big spout, or a tiny dong.

Quote :
Your breathing has quickened without you noticing. You don't even notice the grunts you've been making. All you can notice is the feeling of relief as you feel it flow through your body and fill the teapot beyond the spout.
I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout.
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Rabid Badger
And This is Why I Need Medication
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Join date : 2009-06-10

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PostSubject: Re: Teasetting Ron   Teasetting Ron EmptySun Jan 10, 2010 5:34 pm

I'm going with tiny dong. I'm not an expert on teapots, but most of the ones I've seen have extremely narrow spouts (about the width of my little finger). Plus, they generally have a curve in them. Assuming you could fit your dick in there, there's no way you could get it out without breaking the teapot once you were done.

Haven't these people ever heard the rule about not sticking your dick into any place where it can't move freely? I don't even have a dick and I've heard of it.
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Reidmar
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
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Join date : 2010-01-10
Age : 29
Location : A string of Code in the Interwebz( IF living = true input ragequit)

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PostSubject: Re: Teasetting Ron   Teasetting Ron EmptySun Jan 10, 2010 5:40 pm

How big of a teapot are we talking here? ... I've seen some tiny almost toy sized ones that I have a feeling that this is what the author is talking about... or it could be the size of a damn kettle(is it the same thing?) which is about a football and a half in size.... either way; he's either gonna have to have a small dong or a giant load to fill it up.
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Ezri Dax
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Join date : 2010-02-02
Location : Stuck in a timewarp.

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PostSubject: Re: Teasetting Ron   Teasetting Ron EmptyWed Feb 03, 2010 2:44 pm

I never had the pleasure of reading this fic, but the concept is hilarious. For me this falls into the WTF category, because most people would never even imagine having sex with teapots. Surely it would have been easier just to have a wank? I'm not saying that the human brain never works in weird ways though, because if it didn't, this site could never have existed.
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Dick Powers
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Join date : 2009-07-16
Location : Chillin with my homie Issun on Oni Island

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PostSubject: Re: Teasetting Ron   Teasetting Ron EmptyWed Feb 03, 2010 3:05 pm

Why does it have to be in second person?
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Ya-u

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Join date : 2010-08-12
Location : A Cornfield in the Midwest.

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PostSubject: Re: Teasetting Ron   Teasetting Ron EmptyFri Sep 03, 2010 7:21 pm

Dick Powers wrote:
Why does it have to be in second person?

That's what I find rather frightening.
Maybe the author is into watching people masturbate and telling them what they are doing as they do it.
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BottledIvan

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Join date : 2010-09-09
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PostSubject: Re: Teasetting Ron   Teasetting Ron EmptyThu Sep 09, 2010 6:52 am

Teapots, really? That just strikes me as straight-up weird. Aside from that, I vote for small dong. Just because.

Quote :
You slowly rub the end of the spoon up and down the length of yourself.

Nothing more to say than lol.
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FreakEgg
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Join date : 2010-03-07
Age : 31
Location : Canada

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PostSubject: Re: Teasetting Ron   Teasetting Ron EmptyThu Sep 09, 2010 9:08 am

This fic seemed innocent enough until "You slowly rub the end of the spoon up and down the length of yourself."

Then it got really, really.... really confusing and awkward.

also, I agree with Dick Powers. Having it in second person just made it that much more awkward.
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Gamma Vector

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Join date : 2010-08-25
Age : 28
Location : The Swamps of the South

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PostSubject: Re: Teasetting Ron   Teasetting Ron EmptySat Sep 11, 2010 3:52 am

It rubs the teaspoon on its dick or else it gets the hose again.

Why is this the only thing I can think? D8
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