The "Something Completely Average Happened to Me Today" thread

This sounds like almost every day I have. I'm a very very quiet person.

We already have this thread. It's called the completely average thread. It may have been bumped off the first page. Go look.

Cunovendus wrote:

Yes, this is a satire.

Unfortunately it's doesn't strike me as a particularly entertaining one.

And listing off everything that didn't happen to me would take a prohibitively long time. What constitutes different things?

For example, is tripping over my ginger cat and breaking my nose a seperate thing that didn't happen to me than tripping over my black and white cat and breaking my nose? Or should they all fall under the category of "I didn't trip over my cat and break my nose today". Then what about breaking something other than my nose? The combinations of cat (I have three) and broken body parts are quite numerous.

good try but

a) you flagged it as satire

b) it's like six threads too late

If you have to tell everyone it's a satire....

It's kind of disappointing, the rest of the post is pretty silly.

In a good way, I mean. I'm pretty sure.

Reidmar wrote:

This sounds like almost every day I have. I'm a very very quiet person.

Word.

My dad stepped in dog shit. I didn't. Nothing of note for me.

I didn't get the full time position. Why am I posting here instead of 'Something Bad'?

Because some part of me is relieved. Now it's time to APPLY TO ALL THE THINGS.

My sister keeps parking under big trees and I often come to the car in the morning and see it covered in pigeon crap. Last night so many pigeons crapped on the car it actually obstructed vision. Turns out my sister knew and forgot to tell me that we need to get the car cleaned. Even though it's also her goddamned car and I'm the only one who ever refills gas and refills the parkulator and basically takes care of the car. She's lucky I get gas refunds from our parents or I'd be really pissed at her.

On the bright side, automated car wash is like a fun amusement park ride. She can have all the birds shit on the car if it means I get to go through that again.

Snake wrote:

I'm the only one who ever refills gas and refills the parkulator

Do you mean a parking meter?

No seriously, I'm curious to know what a "parkulator" is.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Snake wrote:

I'm the only one who ever refills gas and refills the parkulator

Do you mean a parking meter?

No seriously, I'm curious to know what a "parkulator" is.

It's a device that acts like a portable parking meter. You charge it with money and instead of popping coins into a meter you just turn the parkulator on and attach it to your window. That way I don't overcharge myself for parking time I'll never use and it's much easier to keep track of when my parking time runs out.

Well, I'm drunk again.

Too the point it takes several tries in order to type words in an fashion that makes sense in English.

HOORAY

Hoping this will happen too often over the fall to count as anything but "average."

Fuck sobriety and all of the harsh realizations of reality it brings.

All I need is the perfect balance between "alcoholic" and "moron who barely manages a C- in every class and still graduates."

You drink Mikey? Like, actual alcohol?

You're so COOL.

^
It was either alcohol or someone poisoned my orange juice in an attempt to get me to shut up.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

^
It was either alcohol or someone poisoned my orange juice in an attempt to get me to shut up.

*whistles innocently while sliding the vodka behind a houseplant*

Today I learned never to put all/most of my pillows in storage again. My new dorm room bed is nearly impossible to sit/relax comfortably in, because I only have one weenie pillow. At least my sheets are lovely soft things.

I got an offer to paint a mural in a nursery.

I have absolutely no idea how much to charge.

Snake Bandage wrote:

I got an offer to paint a mural in a nursery.

I have absolutely no idea how much to charge.

Say you'll charge them a ludicrous amount and hope they're as clueless as you.

Snake Bandage wrote:

I got an offer to paint a mural in a nursery.

I have absolutely no idea how much to charge.

Per square foot and per hour + materials.

I was reading about quilt-making, and someone charges 25 cents per square + an hourly wage + materials like thread, fabric, fusing, etc.

I got my wisdom teeth out. I say this as average, since almost everybody gets them taken out.

^ Just make sure you keep those holes clean. I would recommend getting an oral syringe and after every meal shoving the tip directly into the hole and squirting it hard and fast. Just sloshing water around might not be enough and you will regret it if it is not.

My little brother jsut got neon green skinny jeans.

I want to shoot myself.

Why, of all the fashion era to go back to are we choosing the 80s? I want it to be the 60s or 20s. I'm uncurvy, I'd look good in those.

bleachedblackcat wrote:

My little brother jsut got neon green skinny jeans.

I want to shoot myself.

Why, of all the fashion era to go back to are we choosing the 80s? I want it to be the 60s or 20s. I'm uncurvy, I'd look good in those.

IMO skinny jeans do not look good on curvy people

I love the 80s. Also bad floral 90s. But I fucking only shop at thrift stores so whateva

My something average is that there is possibly shitleak in my underwear and I hope I don't have some odd illness now like shitweasel shit eating disease or something mundane like hepatitis