The "Something Completely Average Happened to Me Today" thread

anangrychocobo wrote:

I breathed in oxygen and breathed out carbon monoxide.

Are you a car engine?

I was going through my funny images folder when I misclicked something and this happened:
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Was on Facebook earlier when I noticed someone on my feed posted this

And that was pretty much the moment I unfriended them.

...they couldn't even get that joke right.

I went to a liquor store, instead of grabbing a free bottle of wine from my parent's collection, because a cute guy works there.

Still getting crank phone calls. So this time, I answered and babbled at the person in German until they hung up. Earlier, when I was checking on how to call them a shit stain on the universe. 'Shit stain' translates very neatly. I was surprised, then I remembered this is German.

My bathroom has mold. It's definitely mold, not mildew. I can and do remove the unsightly black blotches with bleach, but they come back. Today I found blothches on the sink, a place where the mold has not previously appeared. The prospect of jumping mystery mold leaves me deeply displeased.

I made fried potatoes and biscuits. My girlfriend is off at her nephew's first birthday and I wanted to meet the fella but I was scheduled to meet my sister for dinner, but by the time my girlfriend got to the party, I discovered my sister got off work late and rescheduled. So I'm off by myself, making food.

I opened the cabinet to grab a pan, and a roach fell onto the counter. I smacked it with the pan. Then I went to another cabinet and pulled out a bag of potatoes. A few of them were white and fuzzy- I have enough vodka so this is ridiculous. I tossed those, and peeled/chopped the other five. I think at first I cooked them at too high a temperature because they were getting crispy but raw on the inside, but they seem fine now.

That and I made biscuits. If I have time tomorrow I might channel my grandmother and make tortillas.

littledorrit wrote:

My bathroom has mold. It's definitely mold, not mildew. I can and do remove the unsightly black blotches with bleach, but they come back. Today I found blothches on the sink, a place where the mold has not previously appeared. The prospect of jumping mystery mold leaves me deeply displeased.

1) Do deal with it. That shit gets really toxic really fast.
2) Do deal with it. That shit gets really expensive really fast. (for a good professional fix)

I went to a party, had fun, did not get puking drunk or do anything embarrassing. <3

I am sitting home alone while my mother has a date. meh

Got my hair cut, it's a bit shorter than what I wanted but at least now I wont need an appointment for a while.

Bad: For the past two days a group of nutjobs have been protesting the local Planned Parenthood, complete with bloody fetus photos and ABORTION KILLS posters.

No so bad: The Planned Parenthood is in a secluded complex where no one would see them protest, so they were actually several hundred feet away, closer to the street; if you didn't know the Planned Parenthood was there they looked like random anti-abortion nutjobs.

Plus: It has stormed for the past two days, and forecast says more rain. I wonder if their God is trying to tell them something.


I figured it evens out to average.

I painted my toenails red.

I drank SO MUCH ALCOHOL last night. So much that my liver is demanding a trade to someone who will treat it fairly.

I'm posting in this thread because being drunk as hell isn't Bad, barfing all over the place isn't Good, and me drinking a poisonous amount of cheap whiskey isn't Weird.

. . .I miss Weirdy.

I made fish soup.

Well. This was certainly a birthday.

Woke up to find the cat curled up at my feet with a giant pile of puke next to her. After dealing with that and dealing with Australians being wrong on the Internet, I went up to Hurricane Ridge and took a shitload of pictures. On the way there I saw an angry Prius driver tailgate a semi truck for about three miles before he started laying on the horn, apparently expecting the dude to pull over for him. A couple miles later he finally got the chance to pass the semi, but his Prius almost didn't have the balls to pass the semi, and almost slammed into oncoming traffic. He then waved his middle finger out the window at the semi like he was trying to flap hard enough to start flying, floored the gas, and got like all of fifty feet ahead of the semi before he ran out of juice to go faster.

Got pulled over on the way back (I wasn't driving), and then we were held up again by the Hood Canal Bridge being opened to let a sub through. Finally got back to Bremerton, got a big pizza, came home...

...to find that my dad was pissed off that we hadn't answered his calls and decided to have my birthday cake for dinner, then went on to complain to my mom that it was dry. So, I downed half a fifth of Grey Goose and wandered over to my friends' house, where I found that they were watching How I Met Your Mother.

This offended me. I had never seen How I Met Your Mother before, and I was pretty sure it was the worst thing I'd seen on television. I started berating the characters. Since this was apparently hilarious, I was provided with more booze. After pointing out that the only character who wasn't a giant, blubbering douchebag was played by Neil Patrick Harris, details get kinda hazy. Apparently I ranted more or less non-stop until I passed out around 5 AM, then immediately woke up and stumbled on home. Then I woke up at around noon today with no hangover, but then I almost shat myself while eating cold pizza for breakfast.

LOLWTF

....Happy birthday?

Wait, what kind of asshole eats someone's birthday cake?

Anyway, my average is strange. So last night, everyone was drinking. I had two ciders and a apparently a whole bottle of wine (I found the empty this morning and was like ). Well, last night while I was drinking and eating a s'more, my sister made everyone crack up laughing. Except I had been taking a sip of a drink. I choked, and started coughing, and ended up seeing the s'more again.

Then I tripped over the dog and bloodied my nose.

The whole night, I dreamed weird (Like I do when I'm drunk), and I dreamed I was in the chatbox. I know I was actually in the chatbox, but I have no idea how long.

So, all in all, I learned that drinking without A is a mistake and I will never do it again. Average Adult Life Lesson learned.

Lapin wrote:

I dreamed I was in the chatbox. I know I was actually in the chatbox, but I have no idea how long.

Well, you were on when I left for that party and were on when I came back about five or six hours later, but I don't know if you were still on, or again. Hth.


Happy birthday, Penguin.

I drew two pictures with crayons:

Spoiler:

Yeah, I'm a grown woman who draws with crayons. So sue me.

I took my parents out to dinner for their 39th wedding anniversary. We went to a fusion restaurant that had Chinese, Japanese, and Mexican cuisine. The waiters were Hispanic, the piped in music was mariachi and Bollywood, and the food was delicious.

Miss Misery wrote:

I drew two pictures with crayons:

Spoiler:

Yeah, I'm a grown woman who draws with crayons. So sue me.

Puh-lease. Take me to Boston Pizza or Montana's and I am the first person asking for crayons. Plus, you can get really good at them if you babysit / teach preschool.


Also, fun fact: Boston Pizza is a Canadian owned and operated company.

Fun Fact 2: New York Fries is an entirely Canadian chain. I mentioned the mostly-foodcourt restaurant to my New York friends and they were baffled by it. "New York Fries? And they only sell fries? That's like saying 'London Pizza' it makes no goddamn sense."

So we have a Canadian corporation bosting and American name and selling something entirely unrelated to that city. The product tastes about as much.

Sakurelf wrote:

Puh-lease. Take me to Boston Pizza or Montana's and I am the first person asking for crayons.

You are The Awesome.

Today I decided to try out indoor rock climbing after class.

The manager is Brock.

The rock-gym leader is named Brock.

I am extremely amused.

Sakurelf wrote:

The rock-gym leader is named Brock.

Awesome.