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 The Walking Talking Tongue

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Dr. Professor Science
Ghoti
Ghoti
Dr. Professor Science


Join date : 2009-06-25
Age : 32
Location : One of the guys with the giant papier-mâché dongs in Lysistrata

The Walking Talking Tongue Empty
PostSubject: The Walking Talking Tongue   The Walking Talking Tongue EmptySat Nov 14, 2009 9:59 pm

The Walking Talking Tongue - warning for NSFW ads

Quote :
Tyrone- Is a black American 18 year old basketball player. He has a six pack of abs and hes feet are 13" inches long. Hes cock is 12 1/2" inches long and 2" inches wide. He has green eyes and a afro
Delcat: Pool's closed. Due to tongue.
Nihilist: Ab soda!
Dr. Professor Science: His cock is twelve feet long!?
Nihilist: MY COCK IS A LITTLE LONGER THAN A STANDARD RULER!
HOW DO I KNOW?
BECAUSE I MEASURED
Delcat: He could be just that pathetic
Nihilist: and I PUT MY COCK UP TO MY FEET AND MY FEET WERE A LITTLE LONGER
Dr. Professor Science: Abs had better be some sort of new drink.
Nihilist: Tabs?
Delcat: Relatively speaking, that's a skinny-ass cock. C'mon, fic, be a man, go for the baby's arm!
Nihilist: I'd kill for a tab

Quote :
Currently his girlfriend is Veronia who is also vry hot herself. Tyrone's favorite past time is sex. He also has shaved off all his chest hair.
rae: So he has a girlfriend named Veronia and one named Veronica. That must get confusing.
Dr. Professor Science: Two gentletongues in Veronia?
Delcat: Hey, you missed a spot! Oh, wait, sorry, that's a mole.
Nihilist: What about his carpet?
Dr. Professor Science: Or a supernumerary nipple.
Nihilist: does he shave his pubes?
rae: Naw. The giant schlong gets in the way
Nihilist: I want to know if he shaved off all his pubic hairs
Delcat: The world should never know
Delcat: No, and he doesn't shave his back or stomach either. He's this hairy-ass bear with this tiny patch of bare skin, and he LIKES it.
Dr. Professor Science: Apparently that information wasn't important enough to mention.
Nihilist: Oh, like Donkey Kong
rae: Is anyone else reminded of Tuxedo Mark, what with the fetishistic attention to time?
Nihilist: He needs a red tie then
Unskilled78: It's like finding out that the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie pop is penis.
Nihilist: preferably 12 1/2" inches

Quote :
It was 11:48 PM Tyrone was feeling tired and was in his apartment. Normally Veronica would be their but she was working until 4:00 AM that night and for the next couple of nights. Tyrone took off his shirt and went to bed in his white underwear at 11:52 PM. After Tyrone was asleep his tongue began to move in his mouth.
Nihilist: Translation: Veronia's trying to avoid you!
Delcat: He's having a seizure! He's going to choke on it! Someone jam a spoon between his teeth!
Nihilist: I THINK I WILL SLEEP IN MY TIGHTIE WHITIES TONIGHT
Delcat: Better than his black underwear, which USED to be white.
Nihilist: mmm, I think I forgot to brush my teeth
Dr. Professor Science: And it's extremely important to know the exact second these events happened at. It's almost like a police report.
Nihilist: ZERO HOUR NINE AM
Delcat: Duh-Donk!
Delcat: It IS a police report. Eighteen people died upon reading this fic.

Quote :
After about 3 minutes of moving around in his mouth his tongue came out of his mouth and landed on his chest. It slid down his body leaving a trail of saliva.
Dr. Professor Science: Slug fetish, much?
Delcat: But the salivary glands don't come with the tongue, so it's gonna dry out and feel all funny. I hate that.
Unskilled78: It could be running on internal storage?
rae: What is he on that he doesn't notice the pain of it ripping its way out of his mouth?
Nihilist: nobody likes the dry tongue feeling
Dr. Professor Science: It'll run on semen.
Nihilist: hat hungover, mouth-tastes-like-ass feeling
rae: Ooooh. I forgot, semen is TEH BESTEST lube
Delcat: I guess it could be running on blood.
Unskilled78: Semen is the philosophers stone.
Nihilist: It's running on Applied Phlebotinum
Unskilled78: Nicholas Flamel wasn't a chemist or anything, he was just the first guy to swallow it.

Quote :
When it got to wear his underwear hes tongue went into his underwear and began to lick his cock then Tyrone's cock got hard. After about 2 minutes of his tongue licking his cock Tyrone began to moan. The tongue began to lick his cock faster and harder until Tyrone's cum squirted all over the inside of his underwear and all over his tongue.
Nihilist: Oop, two minutes- TIME TO MOAN
ON CUE NOW
rae: Where did his tongue go? I don't think I was clear. Was it maybe in his underwear?
Dr. Professor Science: THIS IS SEXY. I HAVE TO GO FAP.
Nihilist: brb fappin
Unskilled78: Wouldn't that wake you up?
Delcat: "Oh God, I had no idea I tasted like this! Gah, it's like rotten bacon! No wonder I can't keep a girlfriend!"
Unskilled78: Brb, going to go blow my brains out with a hand-grenade.
Nihilist: AAAAH
Dr. Professor Science: DOES NOBODY ELSE FIND THIS SEXUALLY AROUSING?
rae: :suicide:
Dr. Professor Science: I AM AROUSED BY EROTICA WRITTEN IN THE STYLE OF A POLICE REPORT.
Dr. Professor Science: SO MUCH DETAIL.
Unskilled78: Nobody looooves your crazy pron.
Nihilist: AT APPROXIMATELY 0900 HOURS THE TONGUE MOLESTED HIM
Dr. Professor Science: What's the opposite of purple prose?
rae: 09:03 - Mr. Tyrone alleges that the tongue then began to touch him in a sexual manner against his protests.
Delcat: This must really be wearing the tongue out. It'd have to exert its entire body.
Unskilled78: 09:05-the tongue alleges that Mr. Tyrone came all over him.
Delcat: If it was me, it'd be like, two licks and done. Fuck that noise.

Quote :
Then his tongue got some rope and tied Tyrone to the bed softly and gently but very tightly. it took his tongue about 2 hours but it was finally done. Tyrone's tongue got a little mouth on the bottom of his tongue. Anyway Tyrone woke up at 9:00 AM it was Saturday so their was no school. When Tyrone woke up he felt their was no tongue in his mouth. He screamed what the fuck. Then his tongue went onto his chest and said whats up Tyrone.
Delcat: This is even MORE implausible in terms of exertion!
rae: He keeps rope around the house.
Unskilled78: Kinky as a pile of slinkies.
Delcat: Wouldn't he scream "WHAAA AAA FUUUUH"?
Dr. Professor Science: I'm imagining this little cartoon tongue with arms.
Dr. Professor Science: And a smiley face.
Delcat: There are these darling little disembodied tongue pets on Neopets that I'm thinking of. It's kind of sad.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
You can also get a themed chair :D
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Nihilist: I'm thinking of Patrick from Spongebob
oddly
Dr. Professor Science: Oh dear, now I am as well D:
Zeiss Manifold: I'm imagining him in white gloves and a cane
Unskilled78: I am thinking of a picture of a tongue from the Anatomy textbook
rae:You mean something like this
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Quote :
Tyrone's mouth dropped open then he said what the fuck is going on. Hes tongue said look I love licking pussy. Then Tyrone said I do to. Hes tongue then later replied yeah but since your girlfriend Veronica has been working late their has been no pussy licking bitch.
Unskilled78: So you are going to get a cat.
Delcat: "I OO OOOO, UUUNG"
Zeiss Manifold: It's a tragic bitch shortage!
Dr. Professor Science: Is Veronica the bitch or Tyrone?
Nihilist: See, her pussy actually tastes pretty good. You don't deserve her
rae: I hate you so much right now, Delcat. D:

Quote :
Tyrone then said its not my fault. Then his tongue said oh yes it is you know you three last ex girlfriends Holy, Carmine, and Kara. Then Tyrone replied yes what about them.
Dr. Professor Science: BECAUSE IT'S TOTALLY LIKELY THAT HE'D FORGET ABOUT THEM.
Zeiss Manifold: THE TONGUE KNOWS ALL HIS SECRETS
Delcat: "IHHH AHH MAH FAULL, UHH AAAHOU EMM?"
Seriously how is he talking?
Nihilist: THE TONGUE SPEAKETH THE SECRETS
Delcat: This is aaaall a dream, isn't it?
Unskilled78: Maybe it's telepathy
Dr. Professor Science: How does the tongue have a brain?
Nihilist: DAWG I PUT A TONGUE ON YOUR TONGUE SO YOU CAN TALK WHILE YOU TALK
Dr. Professor Science: These are the mysteries of the universe.
Zeiss Manifold: Maybe we're the tongue.
Delcat: Telekinesis is moving objects with your mind, douchesock.
Dr. Professor Science: No, Tyrone, you are the tongues.
Nihilist: very tongue-in-sock
Delcat: It's the power to kill a yak from five hundred yards...WITH MIND BULLETS.
Unskilled78: Nobody can be told what the tongue is, they must experience it for themselves.
Zeiss Manifold: How about the power...to tongue you.
Nihilist: We're all part of the Matrix, wait tongue
I MEAN TONGUE
Zeiss Manifold: Everyone is tongue in purgatory

Quote :
Tyrone said no bitch now get back in my mouth. Hes tongue said i knew I was going to have to o this the hard way. Tyrone looked at him funny and said what the fuck do you mean. Then his tongue jumped into his mouth and down his throat.
Unskilled78: TONIGHT, WE DINE ON TONGUE!
Dr. Professor Science: This gives 'deep throat' a whole new meaning.
Delcat: See? I told you! The spoon comes too late!
Zeiss Manifold: LET'S EXPLORE THE DIGESTIVE SYSTEM WITH THE WALKING TALKING TONGUE
rae: I begin to think the author has a phobia of anything small and dangly. Thus the utter lack of commas, quotation marks, etc.
Nihilist: Ever seen Deep Throat? The chicks clit was in her throat
wonder if the tongue thought Tyrone had a clit in there
Unskilled78: It's a new species of Xenomorph, the Face-palmer.
Zeiss Manifold: um-hmm

Quote :
Tyrone was in shock. His tongue traveled to his brain went into the center and was in control of him. So the tongue made Tyrone untie himself which took about and hour. Then his tongue made him get out of bed and go to the phone an call each one of his last three ex girlfriends and invite them over.
Dr. Professor Science: THIS IS INDEED HOW BRAINS WORK. I WOULD KNOW. I AM A DOCTOR.
Delcat: Let me explain to you how the digestive system works, Tyrone. See, the digestive system? It digests things.
Nihilist: DAMMIT TYRONE I AM A TONGUE NOT A DOCTOR
Zeiss Manifold: I'm imagining him at a little control room like in Spongebob
Delcat: "EEEY OLLY AAAH WAAAHA EAAAH YUUUH PU'UUY"
"Tyrone, are you drunk?"

Quote :
They all said yes at no suprise because he broke up with each of them.
Dr. Professor Science: BECAUSE THIS IS HOW PEOPLE ACT.
Delcat: Ah, women are desperate sluts that just want a strong man to eat out their pathetic cunts. Ain't that just the way?
Zeiss Manifold: Maybe their tongues are in control of them as well?
Unskilled78: Maybe his tongue was the best part of him
Unskilled78: maybe he was a really cunning linguist.

Quote :
When they were all finally their he asked them to sit down on the couch. Which they did when he said well wanna have a threesome I do so lets go. All of the girls jumped at the chance the tongue made him take off his underwear and the all of the women took all their clothes. off. Then Tyron got n the bed when Kara started to suck his cock and he said oh yeah I know you want that so suck it good.
Dr. Professor Science: Sucky sucky five dorrah
Unskilled78: Wouldn't that be a 4-some?
rae: Yes.
Delcat: He's so kinky he's having a threesome with four people. That is hardcore sick, man.
Zeiss Manifold: He's a tongue, not a mathemetician!
Delcat: Took all their clothes. Off.
Just an afterthought, there.

Quote :
Meanwhile Holy and Carmine stuck his huge foot in their pussies and umped his foot.
Zeiss Manifold: ump ump ump
rae: What is umping?
Zeiss Manifold: Both of their pussies? At once?
Dr. Professor Science: BIFURCATED FOOT
Delcat: "OW OH GOD WHEN DID YOU LAST TRIM YOUR TOENAILS I'M BLEEDING LIKE A STUCK PIG OW"
rae: XD So they all have camel-toe in a special new way.
Unskilled78: I would doooo anything for love, but I won't dooooooo that
Zeiss Manifold: And then everyone was fungus.
Delcat: The next day...
"Is it a yeast infection?"
"It's athlete's pussy."
Dr. Professor Science: Surefire yeast infection.

Quote :
He came in her mouth she tried to drink it all but their was so much that som lik out of the side of her mouth. All of a sudden Tyrone pulled his cock out of Kara's mouth and squirted cum all over her face and hair and breast. It happened so fast that Kara did not even have time to close her eyes.
Dr. Professor Science: MONOBOOB
Delcat: So what, precisely, does the tongue get out of this?
Dr. Professor Science: Pussy.
Delcat: We've kind of wandered from the pussy-eating premise.
Zeiss Manifold: If it was trying to lick pussies, it's doing a pretty shitty job
Zeiss Manifold: Perhaps this whole pussy-licking venture was all a ruse
Unskilled78: Maybe it likes to have the penis go off
rae: Yeah, get to the pussy licking. Quit pussyfooting around.
Delcat: That is Sorsa-level English, Unskilled.

Quote :
So some got in her eyes she ran to the bathroom to wash it out. Holy and Carmine boh came at the same time all of their juices went right onto his foot and then h said good bye to Holy and Carmine.
Unskilled78: What you mean? I am cute-oozing duck-rabbit.
Zeiss Manifold: how is tongue formed
Zeiss Manifold: how foot get juicy
Dr. Professor Science: "It was an early morning yesterday
I was up before the dawn
And I really have enjoyed my stay
But I must be moving on"
Delcat: I want to make a "wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am" joke, but not enough things rhyme with "foot".
Zeiss Manifold: Ty's Tongue In Crapfic!
Delcat: Oh, I know! Toe-ohhh-then-you-go!
Zeiss Manifold: ha ha ha
Nihilist: I lost my steam gais
Nihilist: it can only be beaten into my skull for so long ya know
Zeiss Manifold: I can go for it

Quote :
Tyrone's tongue went out of the brain and bac into Tyrone's mouth to get some of Kara's pussy. Even thought he was out of Tyrones brain it would take Tyrone 15 minutes to not do the actions that the tongue had told him to do.
Unskilled78: His brain is just that slow.
Dr. Professor Science: Straightforward, this is not.
Zeiss Manifold: and NOW he licks pussy
Unskilled78: Brain? What is brain?
Delcat: That is a user-friendly brain. I wonder what evolutionary path leads to that kind of mental programming.
Dr. Professor Science: He's worse than dead. His BRAIN is missing.
Delcat: slowpoke.foot.jpg
Nihilist: He's worse than dead, his TONGUE is gone, Jim

Quote :
The tongue made itself get 3 times as big and as long as it was before. Kara went into a huge sound of moans and when she came the tongue had already made Tyrone's brain get ready to suck all her juices and drink them all which it did.
Dr. Professor Science: LIKITUNG! I CHOOSE YOU!
Unskilled78: Litlicky is better.
Dr. Professor Science: Clitlicky?
imsosorry
Delcat: Okay, so now his brain is sucking her juices. Are we...is this Killer Klowns From Outer Space now?
Zeiss Manifold: And what happened next? Well in Tongueville they say, that poor Tyrone's tongue grew 3 sizes that day!
Delcat: The sad part is that there's a movie just like this, I swear. Except with poodles turning into drag queens.

Quote :
Then Kara left and the tongue had already made Tyrone's brain make Tyrone walk around before his tongue left. Then it had made Tyrone lay back down by know Tyrones's feet had no more pussy juice but smelled. So his tongue went on and around his feet and between his toes and went back in his mouth as his tongue.
Delcat: "Come on, jelly rolls, we need to burn off those pussy-carbs!"
Zeiss Manifold: The pussy juice is gone, we must seek alternative juices!
rae: Work those toes! Left! Right! Left! Now streeeetch!
Delcat: Four out of five tongues love the delicious taste of toe jam after sex.
Nihilist: Juicy Juice always makes me sick, always
Dr. Professor Science: This tongue must be a slug.
Unskilled78: It must be a pervert.
Zeiss Manifold: This tongue needs the power of TOUGH-ACTIN' TINACTIN
Delcat: His tongue can't be a slug. What would it lick to go numb? Itself?
Delcat: Got a dirty tongue? Clean it up with Orbit!
Dr. Professor Science: Wait I'm pretty sure the saltiness of his feet would make it explode.

Quote :
When Tyrone was in control again he remembered everything that happend and was angry about his feet taste in his mouth.
Dr. Professor Science: And that's the moral of this story.
Zeiss Manifold: HEY WAITAMINUTE, THAT AIN'T PUSSY
Unskilled78: That's the only thing to be angry about.
Dr. Professor Science: Very satisfying ending.
Unskilled78: Cool story, brah.
Delcat: Oh wow, it's the day after graduation all over again.
Unskilled78: you're lucky. I woke up with a baby inside me.
Delcat: Did you give it to Waffles?
Unskilled78: No, It fused into my mangina, and became a second personality.
Delcat: *sigh* No, weed, the proper answer is "Who said I was pregnant?"


Last edited by Dr. Professor Science on Sat Nov 14, 2009 11:15 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Delcat
Good old-fashioned nightmare fuel
Good old-fashioned nightmare fuel
Delcat


Join date : 2009-06-13
Age : 36
Location : Underestimating the power of soup

The Walking Talking Tongue Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Walking Talking Tongue   The Walking Talking Tongue EmptySat Nov 14, 2009 11:13 pm

Quote :
Tyrone- He is a very hot black American 18 year old basketball player. He has a six pack of abs and his feet are 13" inches long. His cock is 12 1/2" inches long and 2" inches wide. He has green eyes and a black hair in a afro style. He is the most popular guy in school and is extremely popular with the ladys. Currently his girlfriend is Veronia who is also very hot herself. Tyrone's favorite past time is sex. He also has shaved off all his chest hair. His best friend is Brad.

Delcat: Whoa, deja vu.
Zeiss: Any distinguishing marks or scars?
Delcat: Well, he has a walking, talking tongue, but this IS Detroit.

Quote :
Brad- He is a very hot white American 18 years old basketball player. He has a eight pack of abs and his feet are 12 1/2" inches long. His cock is 11 2/3" inches long and 2" inches wide. He has blue eyes and has brown hair in a mushroom like hair style. He is the second most popular guy in school and is extremely popular with the ladys. Currently his girlfriend is Tina and she is very hot herself. Brad's favorite past time is sex. He is also shaved all of his chest. His best friend is Tyrone.

Dr. Professor Science: Deja deja vu? And those are inches inches, aren't they? Inches squared.
Unskilled: The Twilight zone.
Delcat: Mushroom-like hair style? Oh fuck, are we back in the Super Mario Brothers Movie?
Dr. Professor Science: No, it's Ken.
Zeiss: The Walking Talking Ken.
Delcat: Hey, his cock is roughly .22 inches longer than Tyrone's. That means it's .22 inches HOTTER.
Zeiss: 11 2/3" inches? That's inches squared, and that's not length, that's surface area.
Unskilled: Is that enough to register as different?
Dr. Professor Science: His dick is a plank?
Delcat: So it's actually...what, maybe three, four inches long?
Zeiss: Uh, what's the formula for surface area of a cone?

Quote :
Brad and Tyrone had been best friends for years and were on the same basketball team. That team was their high school basketball team. Well now four and a half months after the tongue came out Tyrone is finally begining to forget about it. Guy friends always play jokes on their friends to bug them and joke around Brad and Tyrone did the same.

Zeiss: Okay, opening online surface area of cone generator...
Delcat: Did they have a coming out party for it? That would be nice. Well, until it got sloshed at the open bar and started licking the hostess.
Dr. Professor Science: That description of "guy friends" sounds like it was written by someone from another planet. I wouldn't put it past this story, actually.
rae: And thent he hostess freaked out and there was screaming. And then the ears came and crashed the party.
Delcat: You know what this reminds me of? The friend in Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends that had tongues for feet. I keep expecting his tongue to just find a puddle of orange juice and go to town.
Zeiss: arrgh let me find a generator that works

Quote :
So Brad decided it was time to get back. Brad had got artificial worm flavoring liquid and put it in Tyrone's hamburger when Tyrone went to get a drink. All of the popular guys at the table had to hold back their laughter having seen what brad had done. They had to hold back their laughter so Tyrone when he sat back down would not suspect a joke. About a minute after Brad had put the liquid in Tyrone's hamburger Tyrone sat back down and took a bite out of his hamburger. He immediately tasted the taste of a type of worm like flavor and got up from the table and spit out the bite of the hamburger he took. Everybody at the table especially Brad was laughing.

Dr. Professor Science: Yeah... because he knows what artificial worm flavouring tastes like.
rae: Would anyone here actually recognize the taste of worm?
Delcat: I'm sorry, I didn't know R.L. Stine co-opted his ghostwriters out to do Internet porn.
Unskilled: Doesn't he know? It ain't worm flavoring unless it comes from a worm.
Delcat: More importantly, what is artificial worm flavoring made out of? Grubs?
Nihilist: chicken? Soy?
rae: PEOPLE TASTE TASTES WHO KNEW
Nihilist: Meat flavoring? eu-de-cóc?
Zeiss: His length comes out to around 3.7 inches, funnily enough.
Delcat: Unskilled drippings?
Delcat: That's a perfect cone, though. Probably 3.5, more like.
Zeiss: Well, assuming a spherical cock...
Nihilist: what are we doing conics now wtf
Delcat: The alternative is reading the fic.
Unskilled: Because Zeiss is a conehead
Quote :
Then Tyrone said what the fuck you do Brad. Brad said got you back for that joke you played on me about two weeks ago. Then Tyrone said oh ok I see how it is i'll get you back and then Tyrone tried to wash the taste out of his mouth. Then he said well I got to admit dude you got me back. Then Tyrone finished his lunch not the hamburger of course and had lots of fun the rest of the day.
Zeiss: Why would you want something to taste like worms in the first place?
Dr. Professor Science: Are these guys in middle school?
Unskilled: I suspect they ride the short bus.
Delcat: Elementary, more like, if they're doing the worm thing. It was probably their big science project, the worm flavoring.
Quote :
Then after school was out Tyrone went home to his apartment and rinsed his mouth out. then he called Veronica to see if she was going to come over for some hot sex. She said im sorry baby I can't tonight im working to 3:00 A.M in the morning but tomorrow I can come over baby and we can fuck all night. Then Tyrone still disappointed said alright baby i'll let you get back to work now love you girl. Then Veronica said you to baby.
Dr. Professor Science: HOT SEX
Zeiss: OOH, YOU TOUCH HIS TONGUE-DUNG-DUNG
Unskilled: Brb, gonna fap.
Dr. Professor Science: This girl only works at night.
Dr. Professor Science: Probably a hooker.
Dr. Professor Science: That's the only kind of girl Tyrone would be able to pick up.
Nihilist: brb fappin
Nihilist: brb typing one handed
Zeiss: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Delcat: Actually, she moved to Madagascar eight months ago. He's convinced it's a very LONG shift.
Quote :
When it turned 10:00 P.M Tyrone was tired and decided to go to bed. He took off his socks and pants and his shirt only leaving his black boxers on. Then he went to bed and fell asleep. About 34 minutes after he fell asleep his tongue started moving in his mouth and then his tongue started licking around his lips. Then Tyrone's tongue came completely out of his mouth and jumped on his chest. It was completely not attached to his mouth at all just like the first time it came out.
Dr. Professor Science: Did it have a coming out party?
Delcat: Hey, I did that gag already.
Dr. Professor Science: NO U
Zeiss: I'M TONGUING OUT, I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW~
Unskilled: with hooker-tongues in a giant cake shaped like a dong
Nihilist: Captains Log, stardate Idon'tknow
Delcat: Where's the little scamp going this time? I hope the zoo!
rae: I'm picturing his tongue jumping on his chest like a trampoline. SPROING SPLUSH SPROING SPLUSH
Nihilist: MY TONGUE HAS DETACHED FROM MY BODY. IT HAS JUMPED ON MY CHEST AND DID ALL THIS IN THE SPAN OF 34 MINUTES
Nihilist: THIS MUST BE A NEW ALIEN HYBRID TONGUE
Zeiss: He tongued it 35 minutes ago.
Quote :
Tyrone was still asleep when the tongue jumped out of his mouth. The tongue was angry at Brad for making him have to taste that artificial worm flavor and the tongue wanted pay back. The tongue jumped its way into Tyrone's closet and got the 8 pairs of handcuffs Tyrone had in their. He used four pairs of the handcuffs to handcuff Tyrone's hands and feet to the bed.
Nihilist: Stardate 35 minutes ago, then
Zeiss: Isn't it the tongue's fault for tasting stuff?
Delcat: If the tongue takes bad tastes so personally, you think he wouldn't be so eager to suck off his owner.
Dr. Professor Science: Why would you have eight pairs of handcuffs?
Delcat: For a very naughty octopus.
Zeiss: That plot point was rather off-the-cuff, if I say so myself!
Quote :
Then Tyrone's tongue jumped his way to Brad's house. Brad had his own house and did not live with his parents but his girlfriend lived with him. However Brad's girlfriend was on a vacation for 3 days and was not home. Brad's house was 5 miles away from Tyrone's apartment but the tongue wanted revenge.
Zeiss: It IS like a trampoline
Delcat: Aw, it's like The Brave Little Toaster, but with a psychotic homicidal tongue.
Dr. Professor Science: I can just imagine the author being this middle school kid who's really excited about his friend having HIS OWN PLACE.
Nihilist: WE CAN PLAY NINTENDOES GAIS
rae: OMG and late night Skinemax and mommy won't get mad!
Nihilist: ALL NIGHT AND EAT DESSERT FIRST WITH OUT 12 1/2" INCH COCKS AS FORKS
Delcat: It's 3:00 A.M. Do you know where your tongue is?
Nihilist: WE CAN WATCH FULLY CLOTHED PORN
Zeiss: Del: Don't you DARE drag The Brave Little Toaster into this
Quote :
When he got to Brad's house the tongue looked around the house and found a way inside he could have jumped up and opened the front door. It didn't because the front door was most likely locked and it would have made too much noise to open the front door it may have squeeked. The tongue however found a half open window more then enough room for the tongue to get inside the house. So the tongue went inside the house and shut and locked the windows and the rest of the doors leading outside.
Zeiss: Let's consult the chart here
Nihilist: Is this Superman's tongue?
Dr. Professor Science: There's so little detail in the sex scenes, but so much detail here. WHAT IS GOING ON?
Zeiss: Tongue Of Steel, Woman Of Worm Flavor
Zeiss: AND THEN THE TONGUE DID THE LAUNDRY
Delcat: You know the extended scene where the singing frogs try to eat the worm? Yeah, imagine it with a horny tongue.
Nihilist: ahaha Superman would actually be interesting if he was a tongue instead of who he is
Delcat: And then the flower wilts because life is existential misery.
Nihilist: like a tiny dismembered tongue
Delcat: ...cocks.
b]Zeiss[/b]: No, Del, tongues. Tongues.
Nihilist: MY COCK MEASURES 12.5894 INCHES ROUNDED TO THE NEAREST TEN-HUNDREDTH
Nihilist: I SHALL PROCEED TO FIND THE SURFACE AREA OF MY SCHLONG USING MATH
Quote :
The tongue was very tired having carried four pairs of handcuffs all the way to brad's house. The tongue now was also very dirty. The way the tongue knew the way to Brad's house is because Brad and Tyrone and their girlfriends had come over to watch horror movies their before.
Delcat: How is it carrying them? Is it a LIZARD tongue?
Dr. Professor Science: Because Tryone has only ever been to Brad's house ONCE, apparently.
Zeiss: I know I should have used a cylinder, but I couldn't find any online surface area of a cylinder generator. SCREW MATH
Nihilist: Horror movies- or so they thought!
Zeiss: The tongue's got an internal compass...is it a tern?
rae: Perhaps the other times the tongue was busy licking things, so it didn't pay attention.
Nihilist: uhhh let's see we need two circles and a circumference x height
Delcat: It's a homing tongue...homing in on your pussy, baby! Ohhhh, yeah!
Nihilist: so
Zeiss: I'm just imagining the tongue on an epic quest to get to Brad's house, and it's playing out like an NES game
Quote :
Then it quietly went into brads room and hand cuffed brad the same way it did Tyrone. Brad was sleeping already and slept threw the whole thing of the tongue handcuffing him. Brad was not wearing any socks or pants or a shirt. Brad was only wearing some white boxers. Brad was very sexy. The tongue once it was done handcuffing Brad layed on his smooth hairless chest. At this point it was 2:00 A.M in the morning.
Zeiss: With blippy bloopy music
Nihilist: 2(πr^2)+2πrh
Dr. Professor Science: I'm keeping very close track of the time, just so you all know. It's obviously a major plot point.
Delcat: Aw man, my cat does that sometimes. ...well, minus the handcuffing. And sliming.
Nihilist: it's important goddamn it
Delcat: Well, occasionally the sliming. He's old.
Quote :
The the tongue said well well Brad how do you like having a joke played on you bitch. Then Brad said what the hell are you talking about. Then the tongue said the one you played on Tyrone yesterday its not so fun having to taste artificial worm flavor bitch.
rae: He only likes REAL worm flavoring. The very best worms from Argentina.
Zeiss: Someone has an artificial worm flavor fetish.
Delcat: So he makes him drink off-brand Tang. Sam's Club Tang.
Quote :
Then the tongue jumped on top of Brad's cock. Then the tongue whispered something to Brad's cock. Brad couldn't hear what the the tongue even said. Then Brad's cock started wiggiling. Then Brad said what the fuck did you do bitch. Then it Brad's cock started pulling itself upward. This was very sensual and brad started giving small moans. Then All of a sudden Brad's cock jumped onto his leg it was completely not attached to his body. Then Brad didn't feel sensual anymore he felt like nothing was their.
Dr. Professor Science: SEXY. I came.
Delcat: Detachable penis!
Zeiss: And then they sang showtunes.
Delcat: Hey, did his cock just pull itself up by its bootstraps?
Dr. Professor Science: Damn Delcat beat me to it.
Dr. Professor Science: [insert video here]
Zeiss: START SPREADIN' THE NEWS
Zeiss: I'M STEALING YOUR COCK
Delcat: The sad part is that I was actually thinking of this bizarre hentai manga by the same name.
Zeiss: "Bootstraps"?
rae: Next thing you know, their eyes will pop out of their heads and then there will be TOTAL ANARCHY.
Zeiss: more like Boobstraps amirite
Quote :
Then the tongue said i know jackass I did it on puropse I just told your cock to detach itself from you. Then Brad said well tell it to re-attach itself to me. then the tongue said oh no you tell it yourself. The Brad penis. then the tongue interupted and said oh no he likes to be called Mr. Cock. Then Brad said fine mr. cock re-attach yourself to me now. Then Mr. Cock said no not right so shut the fuck up.
Dr. Professor Science: Mr. Hankey? Is that you?
Zeiss: WHAT IS THIS STRANGE PENIS MAGIC
Delcat: I think this just veered out of the porn lane onto Wacky Exit 105.
rae: It will reattach on his forehead.
Zeiss: I'm waiting for the circus music to start.
Delcat: He could juggle his own balls!
rae: He will then be Choda Boy.
Quote :
You have used me to fuck with enough. I am tired of those tight as condoms and you putting your hands around me a jerking me to throw up. The Brad said thats my fucking cum.
Dr. Professor Science: So penises don't like coming?
Dr. Professor Science: Wait, are the balls part of Mr. Cock?
Dr. Professor Science: This is an important question.
Zeiss: So wait, the urethra is its mouth?
Delcat: Vomiting meat pipe!
Dr. Professor Science: That would mean it eats through there.
Dr. Professor Science: I'm now imagining rotting food shoved up someone's urethra.
Dr. Professor Science: I bet someone out there faps to that.
Zeiss: D=
Delcat: THIN rotting food.
Delcat: Spaghetti.
Delcat: Green beans.
Delcat: Artificial worms.
Quote :
Then Mr. Cock became fully erect meaning horny.
Zeiss: DRINK MY MAGICAL WORM FLAVORING AND TRAVEL BACK IN TIME
Delcat: As opposed to fully erect meaning mongoose.
Dr. Professor Science: " Then Mr. Cock who was a little to big for Brad's mouth pushed his way inside. Brad was trying to shake his head to shake the cock out of his mouth. At this momment the cock was of course still not attached to Brad's body.È
Dr. Professor Science: Is this an appropriate moment to post that picture of Spock sucking himself off?\
rae: Gaiz. [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Delcat: No, you fools! Cut it into tiny pieces or he'll choke! You're terrible parents!
Delcat: Yeah, there was a reason I thought of that first, dudes.
Quote :
Then finally after about 10 minutes his cok was all the way into his throat. Then it slid down into his upper chest. When that happened Brad was gasping for air thinking the worst part of the cock getting inside was over. However it was not because while it was in the top area of his chest he felt like he had a bad case of indigestion. Which he had never ever got before. then Mr. Cock started rubbing itself inside Brad's lungs.
Dr. Professor Science: The... the lungs aren't hollow.
Zeiss: Is this like reverse cockvore?
Delcat: owwwww my biology it's raping it
Delcat: CURSE YOU EPIGLOTTIS FOR LETTING THIS HAPPEN
rae: This is the worst case of aspiration that the medical world has ever seen.
Zeiss: More like epic frot tits amirite
rae: Imagine the X-Ray.
Dr. Professor Science: No, no, you're not right, Zeiss.
rae: "Dr. Bennet.. you have to see this."
Quote :
Then Mr. cock rubbed himself on brad's tongue and the the tongue said oh yeah brad im cumming. Which it did it made Brad swallow half of the cum and aquirted the other half oh brad's abs and chest and nipples and feet. Brad was covered with cum. Then Mr. Cock slid back down brad's throat and next to brad's organ called the stomache. At this point brad said get out of my body Mr. Cock you mother fucker. Then Mr. Cock wacked itself against Brad's stomache organ. Making Brad throw up.
rae: "What, Nurse? It can't--- OH MY GOD.""
Dr. Professor Science: SEXY.
Zeiss: excuse me fic wtf are you doin
Dr. Professor Science: ... does nobody else find this sexy?
Delcat: Next to...where is it, the stomach waiting room?
Dr. Professor Science: im fappin
Delcat: How do you aquirt? It sounds painful. And squishy.
Dr. Professor Science: IS it like aquitting?
Zeiss: This fic is wack.
Nihilist: Qwerty?
Delcat: I wish we were a-quittin' right now.
Zeiss: Q-Bert?
Delcat: *^%@!
Dr. Professor Science: And here comes the single most important line in the fic:
Quote :
Brad threw up all over the floor and said eww I don't feel so good and threw up again. then Mr. Cock slid down to Brad's ass and squezzed its way out of Brad's ass.
Dr. Professor Science: HE SHAT OUT HIS OWN COCK.
Zeiss: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Delcat: Wow, it shot through his intestines like a greased pig. HAWT.
Dr. Professor Science: HE SHAT OUT HIS OWN DICK
Nihilist: lol
Zeiss: THEY CALL ME MISTER COCK
Delcat: Does that count as assrape?
rae: ...I think so?
Nihilist: JUST REACH OUT AND TOUCH ME
rae: Shitdick should not have any more meanings than it already does.
Nihilist: Imagine Rod Stewart shitting his dick out
rae: fjdsakl;NURRRRRRRRR
Zeiss: Imagine Chris91 shitting his dick out
Nihilist: while singing this song
rae: XD I may have a good song for this. Just a sec
Zeiss: This whole fic just reminds me of this: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Delcat: Still not as magical as Howard the Wall, man.
Nihilist: yeah
Nihilist: Duck Side of the Moon!
Nihilist: dude we have to watch The Wall one of these days
Nihilist: Can rig it up again just fer you
Nihilist: I know where I started playing the album
rae: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Nihilist: BUTT TRUMPETS
Delcat: Is that like a rusty trumpet?
Zeiss: more like busty strumpet amirite
Quote :
hen it said now how does it feel ass hole. Then Mr. Cock re-attached itself to Brad's body right where it is suppose to be. Then the tongue was laughing really hard and then said oh Brad. Then Brad started saying im sorry im sorry im sorry enough I will never do anything like that to you again. then tongue said well my revenge is done. Then he went to the bedroom window and unlocked i
Dr. Professor Science: I’d be that upset, too.
Nihilist: RUSTY TROMBONE
Zeiss: When did the hen walk in?
Zeiss: Tongue: OH U
Delcat: Asshole: It kinda sucked, actually. Can I go with you guys?
Zeiss: Tongue: MY WORK HERE IS DONE
Quote :
Then the tongue went on top of Bard's abs and took some of Brad's cum and put it on himself. Then the tongue quickly opened the handcuffs and took them and quickly jumped out the window way to fast for brad to ever even catch him from leaving the room. Then the tongue slowly opened Tyrone's handcuffs and took out the sock in his mouthand back the handcuffs in the closet. Then he put Tyrone's sock back in the hamper.
Delcat: Oh Brad, I'm mad!
Dr. Professor Science: Semen: the best lube
Nihilist: there's the link to the song:
π
rae: Semen is apparently the slickest shit in the universe.
Nihilist: wat
Delcat: Man, that tongue is moving at the speed of plot device! Soon it'll break the disbelief barrier!
rae: Why don't they start using it in engines?
Quote :
Then Tyrone's tongue still covered in Brad's cum jumped back into Tyrone's mouth but very softly and quietly and re-attached itself to Tyrone. The tongue was back where it was suppose to be at 4:08 A.M.
Nihilist: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Nihilist: goddamn
Dr. Professor Science: Wait... didn’t it take way longer to get to Brad’s house?
Zeiss: The tongue has a curfew?
Delcat: It was easier to get back because the semen made it slippery, duh.
Delcat: Tongue: He'll never know I left!
Tyrone: WHY DO I TASTE OSTRICH JERKY
Dr. Professor Science: If a tongue carrying handcuffs leaves Brad’s house at 2:00 AM and travels at 4 miles per hour while a second tongue without handcuffs leaves Tyrone’s house at the same time...
Nihilist: *lighter*
Delcat: Great, now I'm picturing a tongue migration like the Christmas crabs.
Delcat: Cars driving along, squishing hundreds upon hundreds of tongues on the road....
Zeiss: I'm imagining The Grapes Of Wrath, funnily enough.
Quote :
He put his fingers inside his mouth and took off some of the cum off his tongue. Then he knew that his tongue most have been out again but he had no clue as to what the tongue had did. He was pissed though and knew their was no way to keep his tongue inside of his mouth.
Dr. Professor Science: THE END.
Nihilist: lol wat
Delcat: This is an abusive relationship.
Zeiss: "And the smell of cum was on the tongue."
Delcat: He should get a restraining order. Or at least some braces.
Dr. Professor Science: “Wow, not trying any methods of keeping my tongue in my mouth means that I’ve exhausted all my options.”
Nihilist: Trollface
Delcat: He secretly loves it.
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The Walking Talking Tongue
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