- Quote :
- Tyrone- He is a very hot black American 18 year old basketball player. He has a six pack of abs and his feet are 13" inches long. His cock is 12 1/2" inches long and 2" inches wide. He has green eyes and a black hair in a afro style. He is the most popular guy in school and is extremely popular with the ladys. Currently his girlfriend is Veronia who is also very hot herself. Tyrone's favorite past time is sex. He also has shaved off all his chest hair. His best friend is Brad.
Delcat: Whoa, deja vu.
Zeiss: Any distinguishing marks or scars?
Delcat: Well, he has a walking, talking tongue, but this IS Detroit.
- Quote :
- Brad- He is a very hot white American 18 years old basketball player. He has a eight pack of abs and his feet are 12 1/2" inches long. His cock is 11 2/3" inches long and 2" inches wide. He has blue eyes and has brown hair in a mushroom like hair style. He is the second most popular guy in school and is extremely popular with the ladys. Currently his girlfriend is Tina and she is very hot herself. Brad's favorite past time is sex. He is also shaved all of his chest. His best friend is Tyrone.
Dr. Professor Science: Deja deja vu? And those are inches inches, aren't they? Inches squared.
Unskilled: The Twilight zone.
Delcat: Mushroom-like hair style? Oh fuck, are we back in the Super Mario Brothers Movie?
Dr. Professor Science: No, it's Ken.
Zeiss: The Walking Talking Ken.
Delcat: Hey, his cock is roughly .22 inches longer than Tyrone's. That means it's .22 inches HOTTER.
Zeiss: 11 2/3" inches? That's inches squared, and that's not length, that's
surface area.
Unskilled: Is that enough to register as different?
Dr. Professor Science: His dick is a plank?
Delcat: So it's actually...what, maybe three, four inches long?
Zeiss: Uh, what's the formula for surface area of a cone?
- Quote :
- Brad and Tyrone had been best friends for years and were on the same basketball team. That team was their high school basketball team. Well now four and a half months after the tongue came out Tyrone is finally begining to forget about it. Guy friends always play jokes on their friends to bug them and joke around Brad and Tyrone did the same.
Zeiss: Okay, opening online surface area of cone generator...
Delcat: Did they have a coming out party for it? That would be nice. Well, until it got sloshed at the open bar and started licking the hostess.
Dr. Professor Science: That description of "guy friends" sounds like it was written by someone from another planet. I wouldn't put it past this story, actually.
rae: And thent he hostess freaked out and there was screaming. And then the ears came and crashed the party.
Delcat: You know what this reminds me of? The friend in Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends that had tongues for feet. I keep expecting his tongue to just find a puddle of orange juice and go to town.
Zeiss: arrgh let me find a generator that works
- Quote :
- So Brad decided it was time to get back. Brad had got artificial worm flavoring liquid and put it in Tyrone's hamburger when Tyrone went to get a drink. All of the popular guys at the table had to hold back their laughter having seen what brad had done. They had to hold back their laughter so Tyrone when he sat back down would not suspect a joke. About a minute after Brad had put the liquid in Tyrone's hamburger Tyrone sat back down and took a bite out of his hamburger. He immediately tasted the taste of a type of worm like flavor and got up from the table and spit out the bite of the hamburger he took. Everybody at the table especially Brad was laughing.
Dr. Professor Science: Yeah... because he knows what artificial worm flavouring tastes like.
rae: Would anyone here actually recognize the taste of worm?
Delcat: I'm sorry, I didn't know R.L. Stine co-opted his ghostwriters out to do Internet porn.
Unskilled: Doesn't he know? It ain't worm flavoring unless it comes from a worm.
Delcat: More importantly, what is artificial worm flavoring made out of? Grubs?
Nihilist: chicken? Soy?
rae: PEOPLE TASTE TASTES WHO KNEW
Nihilist: Meat flavoring? eu-de-cóc?
Zeiss: His length comes out to around 3.7 inches, funnily enough.
Delcat: Unskilled drippings?
Delcat: That's a perfect cone, though. Probably 3.5, more like.
Zeiss: Well, assuming a spherical cock...
Nihilist: what are we doing conics now wtf
Delcat: The alternative is reading the fic.
Unskilled: Because Zeiss is a conehead
- Quote :
- Then Tyrone said what the fuck you do Brad. Brad said got you back for that joke you played on me about two weeks ago. Then Tyrone said oh ok I see how it is i'll get you back and then Tyrone tried to wash the taste out of his mouth. Then he said well I got to admit dude you got me back. Then Tyrone finished his lunch not the hamburger of course and had lots of fun the rest of the day.
Zeiss: Why would you want something to taste like worms in the first place?
Dr. Professor Science: Are these guys in middle school?
Unskilled: I suspect they ride the short bus.
Delcat: Elementary, more like, if they're doing the worm thing. It was probably their big science project, the worm flavoring.
- Quote :
- Then after school was out Tyrone went home to his apartment and rinsed his mouth out. then he called Veronica to see if she was going to come over for some hot sex. She said im sorry baby I can't tonight im working to 3:00 A.M in the morning but tomorrow I can come over baby and we can fuck all night. Then Tyrone still disappointed said alright baby i'll let you get back to work now love you girl. Then Veronica said you to baby.
Dr. Professor Science: HOT SEX
Zeiss: OOH, YOU TOUCH HIS TONGUE-DUNG-DUNG
Unskilled: Brb, gonna fap.
Dr. Professor Science: This girl only works at night.
Dr. Professor Science: Probably a hooker.
Dr. Professor Science: That's the only kind of girl Tyrone would be able to pick up.
Nihilist: brb fappin
Nihilist: brb typing one handed
Zeiss:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]Delcat: Actually, she moved to Madagascar eight months ago. He's convinced it's a very LONG shift.
- Quote :
- When it turned 10:00 P.M Tyrone was tired and decided to go to bed. He took off his socks and pants and his shirt only leaving his black boxers on. Then he went to bed and fell asleep. About 34 minutes after he fell asleep his tongue started moving in his mouth and then his tongue started licking around his lips. Then Tyrone's tongue came completely out of his mouth and jumped on his chest. It was completely not attached to his mouth at all just like the first time it came out.
Dr. Professor Science: Did it have a coming out party?
Delcat: Hey, I did that gag already.
Dr. Professor Science: NO U
Zeiss: I'M TONGUING OUT, I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW~
Unskilled: with hooker-tongues in a giant cake shaped like a dong
Nihilist: Captains Log, stardate Idon'tknow
Delcat: Where's the little scamp going this time? I hope the zoo!
rae: I'm picturing his tongue jumping on his chest like a trampoline. SPROING SPLUSH SPROING SPLUSH
Nihilist: MY TONGUE HAS DETACHED FROM MY BODY. IT HAS JUMPED ON MY CHEST AND DID ALL THIS IN THE SPAN OF 34 MINUTES
Nihilist: THIS MUST BE A NEW ALIEN HYBRID TONGUE
Zeiss: He tongued it 35 minutes ago.
- Quote :
- Tyrone was still asleep when the tongue jumped out of his mouth. The tongue was angry at Brad for making him have to taste that artificial worm flavor and the tongue wanted pay back. The tongue jumped its way into Tyrone's closet and got the 8 pairs of handcuffs Tyrone had in their. He used four pairs of the handcuffs to handcuff Tyrone's hands and feet to the bed.
Nihilist: Stardate 35 minutes ago, then
Zeiss: Isn't it the tongue's fault for tasting stuff?
Delcat: If the tongue takes bad tastes so personally, you think he wouldn't be so eager to suck off his owner.
Dr. Professor Science: Why would you have eight pairs of handcuffs?
Delcat: For a very naughty octopus.
Zeiss: That plot point was rather off-the-cuff, if I say so myself!
- Quote :
- Then Tyrone's tongue jumped his way to Brad's house. Brad had his own house and did not live with his parents but his girlfriend lived with him. However Brad's girlfriend was on a vacation for 3 days and was not home. Brad's house was 5 miles away from Tyrone's apartment but the tongue wanted revenge.
Zeiss: It IS like a trampoline
Delcat: Aw, it's like The Brave Little Toaster, but with a psychotic homicidal tongue.
Dr. Professor Science: I can just imagine the author being this middle school kid who's really excited about his friend having HIS OWN PLACE.
Nihilist: WE CAN PLAY NINTENDOES GAIS
rae: OMG and late night Skinemax and mommy won't get mad!
Nihilist: ALL NIGHT AND EAT DESSERT FIRST WITH OUT 12 1/2" INCH COCKS AS FORKS
Delcat: It's 3:00 A.M. Do you know where your tongue is?
Nihilist: WE CAN WATCH FULLY CLOTHED PORN
Zeiss: Del: Don't you DARE drag The Brave Little Toaster into this
- Quote :
- When he got to Brad's house the tongue looked around the house and found a way inside he could have jumped up and opened the front door. It didn't because the front door was most likely locked and it would have made too much noise to open the front door it may have squeeked. The tongue however found a half open window more then enough room for the tongue to get inside the house. So the tongue went inside the house and shut and locked the windows and the rest of the doors leading outside.
Zeiss: Let's consult the chart here
Nihilist: Is this Superman's tongue?
Dr. Professor Science: There's so little detail in the sex scenes, but so much detail here. WHAT IS GOING ON?
Zeiss: Tongue Of Steel, Woman Of Worm Flavor
Zeiss: AND THEN THE TONGUE DID THE LAUNDRY
Delcat: You know the extended scene where the singing frogs try to eat the worm? Yeah, imagine it with a horny tongue.
Nihilist: ahaha Superman would actually be interesting if he was a tongue instead of who he is
Delcat: And then the flower wilts because life is existential misery.
Nihilist: like a tiny dismembered tongue
Delcat: ...cocks.
b]Zeiss[/b]: No, Del, tongues.
Tongues.Nihilist: MY COCK MEASURES 12.5894 INCHES ROUNDED TO THE NEAREST TEN-HUNDREDTH
Nihilist: I SHALL PROCEED TO FIND THE SURFACE AREA OF MY SCHLONG USING MATH
- Quote :
- The tongue was very tired having carried four pairs of handcuffs all the way to brad's house. The tongue now was also very dirty. The way the tongue knew the way to Brad's house is because Brad and Tyrone and their girlfriends had come over to watch horror movies their before.
Delcat: How is it carrying them? Is it a LIZARD tongue?
Dr. Professor Science: Because Tryone has only ever been to Brad's house ONCE, apparently.
Zeiss: I know I should have used a cylinder, but I couldn't find any online surface area of a cylinder generator. SCREW MATH
Nihilist: Horror movies- or so they thought!
Zeiss: The tongue's got an internal compass...is it a tern?
rae: Perhaps the other times the tongue was busy licking things, so it didn't pay attention.
Nihilist: uhhh let's see we need two circles and a circumference x height
Delcat: It's a homing tongue...homing in on your pussy, baby! Ohhhh, yeah!
Nihilist: so
Zeiss: I'm just imagining the tongue on an epic quest to get to Brad's house, and it's playing out like an NES game
- Quote :
- Then it quietly went into brads room and hand cuffed brad the same way it did Tyrone. Brad was sleeping already and slept threw the whole thing of the tongue handcuffing him. Brad was not wearing any socks or pants or a shirt. Brad was only wearing some white boxers. Brad was very sexy. The tongue once it was done handcuffing Brad layed on his smooth hairless chest. At this point it was 2:00 A.M in the morning.
Zeiss: With blippy bloopy music
Nihilist: 2(πr^2)+2πrh
Dr. Professor Science: I'm keeping very close track of the time, just so you all know. It's obviously a major plot point.
Delcat: Aw man, my cat does that sometimes. ...well, minus the handcuffing. And sliming.
Nihilist: it's important goddamn it
Delcat: Well, occasionally the sliming. He's old.
- Quote :
- The the tongue said well well Brad how do you like having a joke played on you bitch. Then Brad said what the hell are you talking about. Then the tongue said the one you played on Tyrone yesterday its not so fun having to taste artificial worm flavor bitch.
rae: He only likes REAL worm flavoring. The very best worms from Argentina.
Zeiss:
Someone has an artificial worm flavor fetish.
Delcat: So he makes him drink off-brand Tang.
Sam's Club Tang.
- Quote :
- Then the tongue jumped on top of Brad's cock. Then the tongue whispered something to Brad's cock. Brad couldn't hear what the the tongue even said. Then Brad's cock started wiggiling. Then Brad said what the fuck did you do bitch. Then it Brad's cock started pulling itself upward. This was very sensual and brad started giving small moans. Then All of a sudden Brad's cock jumped onto his leg it was completely not attached to his body. Then Brad didn't feel sensual anymore he felt like nothing was their.
Dr. Professor Science: SEXY. I came.
Delcat: Detachable penis!
Zeiss: And then they sang showtunes.
Delcat: Hey, did his cock just pull itself up by its bootstraps?
Dr. Professor Science: Damn Delcat beat me to it.
Dr. Professor Science: [insert video here]
Zeiss: START SPREADIN' THE NEWS
Zeiss: I'M STEALING YOUR COCK
Delcat: The sad part is that I was actually thinking of this bizarre hentai manga by the same name.
Zeiss: "Bootstraps"?
rae: Next thing you know, their eyes will pop out of their heads and then there will be TOTAL ANARCHY.
Zeiss: more like Boobstraps amirite
- Quote :
- Then the tongue said i know jackass I did it on puropse I just told your cock to detach itself from you. Then Brad said well tell it to re-attach itself to me. then the tongue said oh no you tell it yourself. The Brad penis. then the tongue interupted and said oh no he likes to be called Mr. Cock. Then Brad said fine mr. cock re-attach yourself to me now. Then Mr. Cock said no not right so shut the fuck up.
Dr. Professor Science: Mr. Hankey? Is that you?
Zeiss: WHAT IS THIS STRANGE PENIS MAGIC
Delcat: I think this just veered out of the porn lane onto Wacky Exit 105.
rae: It will reattach on his forehead.
Zeiss: I'm waiting for the circus music to start.
Delcat: He could juggle his own balls!
rae: He will then be Choda Boy.
- Quote :
- You have used me to fuck with enough. I am tired of those tight as condoms and you putting your hands around me a jerking me to throw up. The Brad said thats my fucking cum.
Dr. Professor Science: So penises don't like coming?
Dr. Professor Science: Wait, are the balls part of Mr. Cock?
Dr. Professor Science: This is an important question.
Zeiss: So wait, the urethra is its mouth?
Delcat: Vomiting meat pipe!
Dr. Professor Science: That would mean it eats through there.
Dr. Professor Science: I'm now imagining rotting food shoved up someone's urethra.
Dr. Professor Science: I bet someone out there faps to that.
Zeiss: D=
Delcat: THIN rotting food.
Delcat: Spaghetti.
Delcat: Green beans.
Delcat: Artificial worms.
- Quote :
- Then Mr. Cock became fully erect meaning horny.
Zeiss: DRINK MY MAGICAL WORM FLAVORING AND TRAVEL BACK IN TIME
Delcat: As opposed to fully erect meaning mongoose.
Dr. Professor Science: " Then Mr. Cock who was a little to big for Brad's mouth pushed his way inside. Brad was trying to shake his head to shake the cock out of his mouth. At this momment the cock was of course still not attached to Brad's body.È
Dr. Professor Science: Is this an appropriate moment to post that picture of Spock sucking himself off?\
rae: Gaiz.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]Delcat: No, you fools! Cut it into tiny pieces or he'll choke! You're terrible parents!
Delcat: Yeah, there was a reason I thought of that first, dudes.
- Quote :
- Then finally after about 10 minutes his cok was all the way into his throat. Then it slid down into his upper chest. When that happened Brad was gasping for air thinking the worst part of the cock getting inside was over. However it was not because while it was in the top area of his chest he felt like he had a bad case of indigestion. Which he had never ever got before. then Mr. Cock started rubbing itself inside Brad's lungs.
Dr. Professor Science: The... the lungs aren't hollow.
Zeiss: Is this like reverse cockvore?
Delcat: owwwww my biology it's raping it
Delcat: CURSE YOU EPIGLOTTIS FOR LETTING THIS HAPPEN
rae: This is the worst case of aspiration that the medical world has ever seen.
Zeiss: More like epic frot tits amirite
rae: Imagine the X-Ray.
Dr. Professor Science: No, no, you're not right, Zeiss.
rae: "Dr. Bennet.. you have to see this."
- Quote :
- Then Mr. cock rubbed himself on brad's tongue and the the tongue said oh yeah brad im cumming. Which it did it made Brad swallow half of the cum and aquirted the other half oh brad's abs and chest and nipples and feet. Brad was covered with cum. Then Mr. Cock slid back down brad's throat and next to brad's organ called the stomache. At this point brad said get out of my body Mr. Cock you mother fucker. Then Mr. Cock wacked itself against Brad's stomache organ. Making Brad throw up.
rae: "What, Nurse? It can't--- OH MY GOD.""
Dr. Professor Science: SEXY.
Zeiss: excuse me fic wtf are you doin
Dr. Professor Science: ... does nobody else find this sexy?
Delcat: Next to...where is it, the stomach waiting room?
Dr. Professor Science: im fappin
Delcat: How do you aquirt? It sounds painful. And squishy.
Dr. Professor Science: IS it like aquitting?
Zeiss: This fic is wack.
Nihilist: Qwerty?
Delcat: I wish we were a-quittin' right now.
Zeiss: Q-Bert?
Delcat: *^%@!
Dr. Professor Science: And here comes the single most important line in the fic:
- Quote :
- Brad threw up all over the floor and said eww I don't feel so good and threw up again. then Mr. Cock slid down to Brad's ass and squezzed its way out of Brad's ass.
Dr. Professor Science: HE SHAT OUT HIS OWN COCK.
Zeiss:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]Delcat: Wow, it shot through his intestines like a greased pig. HAWT.
Dr. Professor Science: HE SHAT OUT HIS OWN DICK
Nihilist: lol
Zeiss: THEY CALL ME
MISTER COCK
Delcat: Does that count as assrape?
rae: ...I think so?
Nihilist: JUST REACH OUT AND TOUCH ME
rae: Shitdick should not have any more meanings than it already does.
Nihilist: Imagine Rod Stewart shitting his dick out
rae: fjdsakl;NURRRRRRRRR
Zeiss: Imagine Chris91 shitting his dick out
Nihilist: while singing this song
rae: XD I may have a good song for this. Just a sec
Zeiss: This whole fic just reminds me of this:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]Delcat: Still not as magical as Howard the Wall, man.
Nihilist: yeah
Nihilist: Duck Side of the Moon!
Nihilist: dude we have to watch The Wall one of these days
Nihilist: Can rig it up again just fer you
Nihilist: I know where I started playing the album
rae:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]Nihilist: BUTT TRUMPETS
Delcat: Is that like a rusty trumpet?
Zeiss: more like busty strumpet amirite
- Quote :
- hen it said now how does it feel ass hole. Then Mr. Cock re-attached itself to Brad's body right where it is suppose to be. Then the tongue was laughing really hard and then said oh Brad. Then Brad started saying im sorry im sorry im sorry enough I will never do anything like that to you again. then tongue said well my revenge is done. Then he went to the bedroom window and unlocked i
Dr. Professor Science: I’d be that upset, too.
Nihilist: RUSTY TROMBONE
Zeiss: When did the hen walk in?
Zeiss: Tongue: OH U
Delcat: Asshole: It kinda sucked, actually. Can I go with you guys?
Zeiss: Tongue: MY WORK HERE IS DONE
- Quote :
- Then the tongue went on top of Bard's abs and took some of Brad's cum and put it on himself. Then the tongue quickly opened the handcuffs and took them and quickly jumped out the window way to fast for brad to ever even catch him from leaving the room. Then the tongue slowly opened Tyrone's handcuffs and took out the sock in his mouthand back the handcuffs in the closet. Then he put Tyrone's sock back in the hamper.
Delcat: Oh Brad, I'm mad!
Dr. Professor Science: Semen: the best lube
Nihilist: there's the link to the song:
π
rae: Semen is apparently the slickest shit in the universe.
Nihilist: wat
Delcat: Man, that tongue is moving at the speed of plot device! Soon it'll break the disbelief barrier!
rae: Why don't they start using it in engines?
- Quote :
- Then Tyrone's tongue still covered in Brad's cum jumped back into Tyrone's mouth but very softly and quietly and re-attached itself to Tyrone. The tongue was back where it was suppose to be at 4:08 A.M.
Nihilist:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]Nihilist: goddamn
Dr. Professor Science: Wait... didn’t it take way longer to get to Brad’s house?
Zeiss: The tongue has a curfew?
Delcat: It was easier to get back because the semen made it slippery, duh.
Delcat: Tongue: He'll never know I left!
Tyrone: WHY DO I TASTE OSTRICH JERKY
Dr. Professor Science: If a tongue carrying handcuffs leaves Brad’s house at 2:00 AM and travels at 4 miles per hour while a second tongue without handcuffs leaves Tyrone’s house at the same time...
Nihilist: *lighter*
Delcat: Great, now I'm picturing a tongue migration like the Christmas crabs.
Delcat: Cars driving along, squishing hundreds upon hundreds of tongues on the road....
Zeiss: I'm imagining The Grapes Of Wrath, funnily enough.
- Quote :
- He put his fingers inside his mouth and took off some of the cum off his tongue. Then he knew that his tongue most have been out again but he had no clue as to what the tongue had did. He was pissed though and knew their was no way to keep his tongue inside of his mouth.
Dr. Professor Science: THE END.
Nihilist: lol wat
Delcat: This is an abusive relationship.
Zeiss: "And the smell of cum was on the tongue."
Delcat: He should get a restraining order. Or at least some braces.
Dr. Professor Science: “Wow, not trying any methods of keeping my tongue in my mouth means that I’ve exhausted all my options.”
Nihilist:
Delcat: He secretly loves it.