Why God, Why?
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
Why God, Why?


 
HomeHome  RegisterRegister  Log in  

 

 Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."

Go down 
AuthorMessage
Reepicheep-chan
Important Person
Important Person
Reepicheep-chan

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 35
Location : IN A SEXY NEW CONDO

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyTue Nov 10, 2009 5:56 pm

Cut Me Feminine by DietBleach

This bizarre little fic is about Toad as an MTF. Let that sink in a moment before reading on watching me try to make jokes without inadvertently insulting a transgender. IT is sure to be hysterical, either way.

Quote :
I don't really know if anyone wants to read it, so the first chapter will be short.
I am sure as hell not going to put effort into something I do not get e-praise for!

Quote :
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but if I did, I would use them to my advantage.
With my penis.

Quote :
Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and wished you were different?
I wished I had magic powers and a pet unicorn when I was a little. Also last week.

Quote :
Have you stared at your reflection, right in the eyes, and wished you were thinner?
Look your reflection in the eyes when you say that!

Quote :
Have you ever wanted to be taller, or smarter, or better looking?
Not really. If I were better-looking I would get more creeps hitting on me and if I were smarter I would not be able to relate to normal people. And I wish I were shorter.

Quote :
What about your gender, does the way you were born please you?
Eh, it is OK.

Quote :
Have you ever felt that life might be easier being born the opposite of how you were?
God, how many items are on the questionnaire? Why do you need to know this? So I can read the fic? Damnit, fanfic, answer me!

Quote :
Many people do, and some go so far as to change it.
Um, duh? Welcome to exploitation cinema, like, 50 years ago.

We open with Evo-Toad, aka 'Todd', staring at his naked self in a mirror wishing he were a woman. As if the dude did not have enough body-issues, right?

Quote :
He looked down at the piece of flesh dangling between his legs
“Hmm, maybe I should get this tumor looked at.”

Quote :
and closed his eyes, imagining his body without the appendage.
“Heh, I look silly with only one leg.”

Quote :
“His mental eyes roamed the picture within his head,
~Roam if you want to, roam around the world.~

Quote :
his mind changing his penis into the female counterpart
I am picturing him with a clit and no vagina right now. Just so you know.

Quote :
and adding two plump breasts. He liked the way it looked,
I am sorry, fugly boy, but adding titties is not going to automatically make you a hottie.

Quote :
But opening his eyes revealed his body to be much the same as it had been before,
Well, so much for whatever you imagining becoming true.

Quote :
if not a bit, ahem, longer, his fantasies causing him pleasure.
So one of his powers is getting taller when he is happy now?

Quote :
“Sick fuckin’ freak,” he spat at his reflection.
Reflection: Well, same to you, ya' grodey nutjob!

Quote :
Out of the corner of his eye, Todd spotted the knob on the door twist quickly and his door began to be pushed open. His arm shot out and the door was pushed back shut and, leaning against it, barring it from being pushed back open.
Ugh, I feel for you. I have to do that, like, every time I change.

Quote :
It was Fred. The Blob. The fatso. The dumbfuck.
Thin is in! Thin is in!

Quote :
“Uh, I’m not dressed, man,” Todd said through the door, “what do you want?”
Fred: You. Naked. Right now.
Toad: Uhh...
Fred: >:D
Toad: {:<

Quote :
“I just came up to tell you that I made some food,”
“But then I eated it.”

Quote :
he was yelling as if the two inches of hollow wood between them would be able to muffle his voice.
I dunno dude, my parents would argue that it does. Other things that make conversations impossible: running water, the TV, the garage, and the microwave. Unless it is night-time, in which case 3 rooms will not save you from being heard.

Quote :
“Yeah, thanks, I’ll come down later,” was Todd’s reply.

Yeah, there is not going to be any food later. Even Fred sees through this bullshit.

Quote :
There was silence from the hallway and Todd thought that perhaps Fred had left, although he had not heard the large mutant leaving, so he came to the conclusion that Fred was still outside, and after a moment was proved right.
Wow, that paragraph should have been aborted before it began.

Quote :
“Todd,” Fred said quietly, no longer shouting, “are you okay, man? All you do is sit in that room, and… I guess I’m just worried about you.”
Aww, how sweet. The only person who gives a crap about Toad ever. Surely it will make him feel better that he has a friend.

Quote :
“You guess?” Todd flung at the door, “I’m sorry you have to feel something close to emotions.”
Or he will have a giant pissy-fit. Can I make a joke about him being on the rag here or would that be completely tasteless? Completely tasteless? Yeah, OK, I had to ask.

Quote :
Fred was probably the only person here who was even slightly nice to Todd. Sure, nobody in the boarding house, if you could call it that, really hated him, but their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to.
Or maybe more like the jellyfish he was not necessarily allergic to but still hurt like a bitch.

Quote :
He knew he was slimy, in both the literal and metaphorical sense,
Sorry to tell you this Toad, but guys who are metaphorically slimy are actually more attractive, well groomed, and charismatic than you.

Quote :
But the beautiful thing was that he didn’t have to be. There were ways to change his body. He could look good, pretty even.
Seriously? Did you not hear me when I said that titties were not going to suddenly make you hot?

Quote :
Maybe if he wasn’t liked for the way he looked he could be a slut,
Truly a man of high aspirations.

Quote :
and liked for what he had, he could be something to fuck.
Um, 6-foot-tongue? I do not care how ugly you are, I am pretty sure you can sell that to somebody.

Quote :
Being used was better than being despised.
So, you want to be a girl because you want to be used? Shit, you are a woman and a chauvinist, good job.

Quote :
Todd realized suddenly that he had started crying.
“Oh shit! When did that happen?!”

Quote :
His tears felt like lava as they splashed a trail down his face, smearing the mascara he had applied, an effort to make him look, if only slightly, better.
Just go goth, dude. Then you can wear all the make-up you want and no one will question it.

Quote :
He let out a sob and wiped his nose. Fred, who had still been just outside his door, left as he heard Todd crying.
“God, what a girl.”

Quote :
“What a dick,” Todd said through his sobs, “no emotion.”
Wow, you really are on the... um... something PC.

Quote :
He looked down at his sex again,
“Damn, still male.”

Quote :
and with little effort, tucked it between his legs clasping his knees together so that all he could see was his neatly trimmed pubic hair, in the shape of an upside down triangle.
Keep in mind this is the guy who will not brush his teeth. But trimming his pubes? All over that bitch.

Quote :
He fished through the tangled sheets and found the black laced bra he had stolen from Wanda’s room some time earlier in the day.
I will only believe this is actually Toad if he jerks off into it. Even female-Toad would have the hots for Wanda.

Quote :
He pulled it across his chest and clasped it in the back. Letting go of it, he moved across the room to his dresser, the bra slipping down to his waist from the lack of breasts keeping it in place.
Pretty sure that is from lack of straps keeping it in place. Breasts are not, like, naturally glue-y or anything.

Quote :
He opened his sock drawer and, rolling a few pairs together, pulled the bra back up and stuffed a roll into each of the cups. He pulled the bra up a little higher and pushed his dick under himself once again.
Convincing.

Quote :
Crossing the room once more to stand in front of the ever judging mirror,
Toad: Testify to the court about how hot I am. Now!
Mirror: W-w-wait! Mr. Tolanski...
Toad: Yes?
Mirror: Actually, I'm the one that's supposed to be handling these proceedings...
Karma: Wrong. There is only one thing you need to do here. You will slam down your gavel and say I'm sexy. That is your role!
Mirror: Y-yes, of course. You're quite right.

Quote :
he felt incredibly sexy looking at his new features. Grabbing a tube of lipstick, he applied it liberally with unpracticed haste.
Yeah, clown-paint will improve your appearance. Good idea.

Quote :
“I’m beautiful,” he said into the mirror.
“Dammitt!”

Quote :
In only a moment though, he began feeling guilty.
“This really isn't my color. I really shouldn't have splurged on this.”

Quote :
Todd threw off the bra and released his sex from the confines of his legs.
Sex: I'm free! Freeeeeeee!

Quote :
“You were born this way for a reason,” he said slowly, repeating it over and over, “you were born this way for a reason.”
Yeah, you should really just learn to accept yourself for who you are. I mean, I know it is rough looking like you do and all, but there is not a lot you ca do about it, and there are some positive aspects you could really be focusing on. Your powers could be pretty effective if- Excuse me? Oh, you are still on about the gender thing? Sorry.

Quote :
The glow from a streetlight outside his window permeated the darkness, causing the room to shine slightly orange, it was the reason Todd had been stuck with this room, no one else wanted it.
God forbid anyone buy steal curtains.

Quote :
Truth be known, Todd had once resided in the room Pietro now occupied, until he was kicked out by the white-haired mutant.
The truth: EXPOSED!

Quote :
He threw himself onto his bed and pushed the sheets that had been twisted and tangled away from his body.

If there was one time that Todd truly hated, it was the time between first laying down to sleep, and the actual sleep itself.
What, you are just going to go to bed? You little liar, what if Fred is down there right now staring at your serving of food fighting with every ounce of his will to keep from eating it? You know the guy is not going to be able to sleep with that hanging over his head.

Oh I kid, Pietro probably ate Toad's portion just to be a dick.

Quote :
He now knew that his mental gender and his physical gender did not match, and being only sixteen and coming to this realization was not something Todd felt he could deal with. But what to do: should he tell someone?
Oh yes. In fact, tell Mystique. That would be great.

Quote :
They would just be disgusted. Wouldn’t they?
Picturing you in woman's clothes? Yes. Yes they will be. Sorry, dude.

Quote :
“Hey Todd?” Wanda’s voice sounded out in the hall, she seemed slightly annoyed.

Todd turned his body to face the door, but did not reply.

“You… you didn’t go through my things did you?” She said slowly, her voice now unsure, as if scared to hear the answer.
Please, an Evo-Wanda not filled with rage every second of discussing anything with Toad? I doubt it.

Quote :
A vision of the black bra curled in a heap under his mattress and the various items of makeup around them pom popped into Todd’s head.
Although stealing all that shit from Wanda is kind low. I mean, just lift the shit from a drug store, dude. If you get caught you are already in trouble, who cares what you took?

Quote :
“Why would I do that?” Todd asked, trying to sound as if he really didn’t know.

Pause for a moment.
“To masturbate?”

Quote :
“So you didn’t?”

Another pause.

“No.”
“I completely believe you!”


So... should I do the other two chapters or no?
Back to top Go down
Rabid Badger
And This is Why I Need Medication
And This is Why I Need Medication
Rabid Badger

Join date : 2009-06-10

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyTue Nov 10, 2009 6:47 pm

I would lay you good money that this author has no real idea what being transgendered either means or involves. They've probably never even met a transgendered person (or if they did, they didn't know it, because I have this idea that they think if you're trans, you go around wearing a big red T on your sleeve, like Hester had to do in the Scarlet Letter).

And I'm sorry, but Toad simply isn't a likely candidate. He's never shown any sign of being sexually conflicted. Actually, he's never shown signs of being sexually anything, except in bad fanfic.
Back to top Go down
Reepicheep-chan
Important Person
Important Person
Reepicheep-chan

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 35
Location : IN A SEXY NEW CONDO

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyWed Nov 11, 2009 10:16 pm

Chapter 2: McMuffin

Quote :
I really don’t know what the pairing will be in the long run so, why don’t you guys choose.
I really do not care about my fic or anyone in it.

Quote :
I still haven’t decided who Todd will be paired up with in the long run, so voice your opinion, just know that it will not be Scott,
Evil prep.

Quote :
Fred,
Dumbass fattie.

Quote :
Evan,
Black.

Quote :
Logan,
Old.

Quote :
Xavier,
Crippled.

Quote :
Beast,
Furry.

Quote :
Jamie,
Underage.

Quote :
or any female character.
Female.

Quote :
I was thinking maybe a new recruit but I don’t know.
Oh yes, go full OC on this one.

Quote :
The heat of the sun’s rays on his face was what had woke Todd, his eyes opening and pupils shrinking as the sunlight hit his face.
Yeah, fuck curtains, amirite?

Quote :
The building was still; not a single person went about their business on the floor below him. That could mean only one of three things, that everyone was still asleep, or that they had all left.
No wait, that is pretty much all it could mean. Whatever.

Quote :
That, of course, left the third option, that a serial killer had entered the house while everyone was sleeping and had ruthlessly killed all occupants inside except Todd, but one could only be so lucky
Man, someone is being an utter dick to his roommates for no reason. So what are his roommates doing, really? Plotting his demise? Talking about him behind his back? Let us take a look:

Quote :
“So you think there’s something wrong wiim?”im?” Lance asked, eyeing the last McMuffin left on the table as Fred made a lunge for it. He, Fred, Pietro and Wanda were seated at a booth at the McDonalds a mile or so away from the Brotherhood boarding house. Wanda had asked them all to join her because she needed to ask them something, this something was now clear, she believed there was something wrong with the Toad.
That is right, they are discussing whether or not he is OK.

Quote :
“I’m really worried about him, you know?” Pietro nodded, agreeing with Wanda, until now, he seemed to not be paying much attention to the conversation.
Seriously, Quicksilver the asshole is admitting to being worried about him.

Quote :
“I hadn’t really noticed until now,” Wanda continued, “but it’s been a really long time since he’s hit on me, which isn’t altogether a bad thing, it’s just unusual.”
Because it would just be weird if Toad were one of those lesbian MTFs.

Quote :
“Well, just because he hasn’t hit on you,” Lance said, rolling his eyes, “and he was crying, doesn’t mean anything.”
Lance remains unconvinced.

Quote :
“No, man,” Pietro looked Lance in the eye, “it’s just something about him, the way he moves, the way he talks,
“I just find it distracting sexy.”

Quote :
which hasn’t been very much, he seems so detached, like he realized something suddenly.”
He realized how much Toad/Kurt slash was on the internet.

Quote :
“What do you think I realized?” Todd was suddenly there, in front of their table, looking at them with a face like a rock, no emotion.
Hmm, maybe he should hook up with that guy who fucks statues.

Quote :
“Oh, hey Todd, nothing, what are you talking about?” Fred tried to cover.
Fred is the master of smooth.

Quote :
“Don’t fuckin’ lie to me, man,” Todd said angrily, the curse word that fell from his lips causing other patrons of the fast food joint to turn their heads towards the Brotherhood, gasping.
“The word fuck in a McDonalds? Why I never.”

Quote :
“You guys leave me at home to come here together, and now you’re talking about me, you should feel pretty fucking good.”
Well, jeez, nevermind then. No one feels worried about you ever. Go fuck yourself.

Quote :
“but you don’t have to worry, I’m leaving, I’m no longer hungry, yo.” He stormed out of the building, bowling down an old man on the way.

“I am going to throw up my breakfast in an alley.”

Quote :
A hush fell over the Brotherhood’s table as they watched Todd go. What the hell was wrong with him? Sure, anyone would be mad if they heard people talking about them, but not like this, norm Tod Todd was so passive.
He is getting more womanly by the second!

Quote :
“Should we go after him?” Wanda asked, timidly.
Pietro: With that ass? I'm not letting him out of my sight, rawr~
Wanda: o_o
Pietro: What?
Lance: You said you thought my ass was the best one... T.T

Quote :
“No,” Pietro answered after a moment, “I think he needs time to be by himself.”
“Baby needs to go cry it out in an alley.”

Quote :
Five minutes later and an uncountable number of curses
Seven.

Quote :
found Todd walking fiercely down a street muttering angrily to himself.
“We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false!”

Quote :
Further down the sidewalk he glanced up and saw Scott Summers and Jean Grey window-shopping.
Jean: So, Scott, do you like the purse better than the other blue one we saw earlier?
Scott: The one with the bows? It was kind of excessive.
Jean: No, not that one! The other, other blue one!

Quote :
“They better not say anything to me,” Todd said under his breath. But alas, as he passed by, they did.
“God help them if they show any concern for my well being...”

Quote :
“What’s wrong with you?” Scott barely got out before Todd whirled on him and, tears falling from his eyes, punched Scott right on the nose.
“That's for inquiring about my emotional state! You are supposed to be my enemies, you assholes!”

Quote :
Turning down a side alley, Todd slumped against a wall and slid to the hard and slightly wet ground. Wrapping his arms around himself, he rocked slowly back and forth.
“~Rock-a-bye, in the treetop. When the wind~- Jesus Christ that is a disturbing song.”

Quote :
“Why am I crying?” Todd said aloud. “Why do I even care?” He let out a sob and in a more controlled voice said, “ Jesus, I’m such a pussy.”
No, you want a pussy, big difference.

Quote :
Many years ago, When Todd was five years old, his mother divorced his father, a factory worker who had immigrated to America from France in the early seventies, and re-married to a twenty-three year old drug dealer from Florida named Vince. The two had met when Todd’s family had lived in Orlando and his mother had received a back injury while water skiing. The pain medication the doctors were giving her weren’t satisfying her, and to find something to make the pain go away, she took to the streets.
Damnit, Toad, that infodump was completely uncalled for!

Quote :
He gave her any drug she wanted and in returned she would give him anything he wanted.
I do not think most drug dealers would consider that a fair trade, actually.

Quote :
Anything. The acts she performed were later described in great detail to Todd while Vince felt him through his clothes.
“Did I ever tell you about the time yer ma did me a coffee?”

Quote :
As Todd sat in the alley, all he could think about was the way Vince had touched him. At the time, Todd hadn’t known what Vince was doing to him, he didn’t know that it was wrong when Vince made him wear dresses and made Todd putt his hand on the older man’s slowly rising jeans.
Oh I see, he wants to be a woman because it reminds him of the abuse he suffered as a child. Makes perfect sense.

Quote :
It was last year on my eleventh birthday that he… he made love to me, and I knew I loved him. He came into my room that night and told me that I was a man now and I needed to be “initiated”,
Then I had to strip naked, pick up a cherry with my ass, and then transport it across the room like that.

Quote :
at the time I didn’t know what the word meant,
Poor baby, I know, lots of eleven-year-olds are a little slow.

Quote :
“I wasn’t ready for sex then,” Todd said, his mind now back in the present, “but I do believe that I am now.”
A motto for a new age.

The last scene involves Toad dress shopping, which is somehow made incredibly boring. I am skimming over most of it, so look it up on your own if you are interested.

Quote :
“Um, a dress I guess,” hey, that rhymes, neat,
Sometimes words end in similar sounds! Keen!

Quote :
“something kind of sexy, but not too revealing.”
“Specifically something not too revealing of the fact the dress' occupant might have a penis.”

Quote :
“For your girlfriend?” she asked.

“Yeah, sure,” he said, smiling a knowing smile that the sales woman seemed to find a bit odd.

“Er, what size is she?” Todd thought for a moment, thinking of how to reply.

“Same size as me,” he said in a matter of fact tone.
“In fact, my girlfriend is actually my twin sister.”

Quote :
He would lay low for awhile before changing; he wanted to wait till dark. He would then head over to the Juiceboxxx, a gay club downtown and try to charm his way in.
Yes, let us all head down to “Juiceboxxx.” It sounds like a gay ol' time.

Quote :
Either way, he was going to find a guy, and he was going to be fucked like a woman until he was one.
Preeety sure it does not work that way, tiger.

Quote :
A/N- I feel pretty good about that chapter. I don’t really know what Todd bought though, any suggestions? Woman’s clothes obviously. What do you think a toad would wear?
I have no idea where I am going with my own story.
Back to top Go down
Rabid Badger
And This is Why I Need Medication
And This is Why I Need Medication
Rabid Badger

Join date : 2009-06-10

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyWed Nov 11, 2009 11:39 pm

Quote :
A/N- I feel pretty good about that chapter. I don’t really know what Todd bought though, any suggestions? Woman’s clothes obviously. What do you think a toad would wear?

A toad wouldn't wear anything but its skin. Now if we're talking about Tod, you're the one writin' the frickin' story. I'm not gonna write it for you, missy!
Back to top Go down
unskilled78
Sporkbender
Sporkbender


Join date : 2009-06-03
Age : 31
Location : a hell of his own creation.

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyThu Nov 12, 2009 12:16 am

I'm guessing the closest this person has been to meeting a transsexual is watching Rocky Horror Picture Show or Silence of the Lambs.

In fact, Toad seems to be a slightly less crazy version of Buffalo Bill in this 'fic. Dry
Back to top Go down
Dr. Professor Science
Ghoti
Ghoti
Dr. Professor Science

Join date : 2009-06-25
Age : 29
Location : One of the guys with the giant papier-mâché dongs in Lysistrata

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyThu Nov 12, 2009 12:52 am

Just so you know, I read through this thinking of Toad from Super Mario.
Back to top Go down
Snoof
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Snoof

Join date : 2009-06-14
Location : Sydney, Australia

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyThu Nov 12, 2009 1:47 am

Quote :
their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to
All I can think of is this.
Back to top Go down
myeerah
Contributor
Contributor
myeerah

Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 43

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyThu Nov 12, 2009 6:47 pm

Quote :
He would lay low for awhile before changing; he wanted to wait till dark. He would then head over to the Juiceboxxx, a gay club downtown and try to charm his way in.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but that implies that he's going to a gay bar, as a woman, hoping to pick up a man? I don't think this plan has been fully thought through.
Back to top Go down
Jesus.
Guest
Anonymous


Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyFri Nov 13, 2009 10:39 pm

Quote :
Quote :
and with little effort, tucked it between his legs clasping his knees together so that all he could see was his neatly trimmed pubic hair, in the shape of an upside down triangle.

Keep in mind this is the guy who will not brush his teeth. But trimming his pubes? All over that bitch.

Hey, trimming pubes so that you can see more of the dreaded penis that makes you remember you're a still a man, sending you into a spiraling pit of wangst, dispair, and outright aggression against those uncharacteristically concerned for you? Waaay more important to your mental health and self image than soap and shampoo. Perhaps a :splooge: facial is in order, just to help the ol' self esteem. Poor Todd (Todda? Toddine? Shirley?) needs some pampering. :circlefap:
Back to top Go down
Rabid Badger
And This is Why I Need Medication
And This is Why I Need Medication
Rabid Badger

Join date : 2009-06-10

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyFri Nov 13, 2009 10:55 pm

myeerah wrote:
Quote :
He would lay low for awhile before changing; he wanted to wait till dark. He would then head over to the Juiceboxxx, a gay club downtown and try to charm his way in.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but that implies that he's going to a gay bar, as a woman, hoping to pick up a man? I don't think this plan has been fully thought through.

Not necessarily. Some gay bars are frequented by both gay men and lesbians. The one in Des Moines my son and his boyfriend go to has same sex couples from both groups. On the other hand, it's not really intended as a place to hook up; it's more for long-term couples who want to go somewhere to relax and be comfortable without people staring at them.
Back to top Go down
Dr. Professor Science
Ghoti
Ghoti
Dr. Professor Science

Join date : 2009-06-25
Age : 29
Location : One of the guys with the giant papier-mâché dongs in Lysistrata

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptySat Nov 14, 2009 3:07 pm

Rabid Badger wrote:
myeerah wrote:
Quote :
He would lay low for awhile before changing; he wanted to wait till dark. He would then head over to the Juiceboxxx, a gay club downtown and try to charm his way in.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but that implies that he's going to a gay bar, as a woman, hoping to pick up a man? I don't think this plan has been fully thought through.

Not necessarily. Some gay bars are frequented by both gay men and lesbians. The one in Des Moines my son and his boyfriend go to has same sex couples from both groups. On the other hand, it's not really intended as a place to hook up; it's more for long-term couples who want to go somewhere to relax and be comfortable without people staring at them.
Yeah but he's not trying to pick up a woman. He's trying to pick up a man.

... then again I'm sure transvestites frequent gay bars as well.
Back to top Go down
Rabid Badger
And This is Why I Need Medication
And This is Why I Need Medication
Rabid Badger

Join date : 2009-06-10

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptySat Nov 14, 2009 7:28 pm

Now there's a niche market for you. A bar for pre-op MtF transsexuals and men who enjoy having sex with them., even though they're not actually women yet.
Back to top Go down
Delcat
Good old-fashioned nightmare fuel
Good old-fashioned nightmare fuel
Delcat

Join date : 2009-06-13
Age : 33
Location : Underestimating the power of soup

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptySat Nov 14, 2009 7:32 pm

Snoof wrote:
Quote :
their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to
All I can think of is this.
All I can think of is this.

God, this one's just terrible all over. You're getting some great mileage out of it though.
Back to top Go down
http://delcat.insanejournal.com
Reepicheep-chan
Important Person
Important Person
Reepicheep-chan

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 35
Location : IN A SEXY NEW CONDO

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptySat Nov 14, 2009 9:34 pm

Chapter 3: The Ugliest Girl

Quote :
So he was reduced to this, huh? Changing into drag in a gas station bathroom.

Is that better or worse than eating bugs under the bleachers?

Quote :
the sun finally decided to go down and he stumbled upon an old gas station that was completely deserted
An old, abandoned gas station... in SILENT HILL~!

Quote :
except for a young man seated behind the counter reading a book titled “Disco Blood Bath.” Todd approached the guy and queried as to where the bathrooms were.
The Disco Blood Bathrooms.

Quote :
“Out back, dude,” the guy answered, “but you need the key.”
“A magic key. Like the one in my pants.”

Quote :
“ Well, can I have it?” He asked. Roger looked up from his reading and appeared thoughtful for a moment and then nodded his head a few too many times before giving Todd the key.
“Durr, yeh yeh, here's the key, boss.”

Quote :
“Be careful with that,” Roger said, dead serious.
“It is make out of red kyptonite.”

Quote :
He turned another corner and found that between the cement wall of the gas station and a high wood-post fence, a persot ont on an upturned box, illuminated by a bare bulb.
Performing beat poetry.

Quote :
“Hey, man,” Todd said, “what are you doing smoking a cigarette behind a gas station?” The man turned to Todd and frowned. It wasn’t an angry frown, more of a thoughtful one, as if he really didn’t know
That smoking at a gas station was sort of a bad idea.

Quote :
“No one usually comes back here,” the voice was raspy and light,
Because he was a smoker. The End.

Quote :
“Plus, my mom would kill me if she knew I was smoking.” Todd stood on the tips of his toes and looked over the top of the fence and saw an old house with a sleeping dog on the porch.
Shit, that would be a sucky place to live.

Quote :
“What are you doing back here?” The person on the box asked. Todd looked back at the guy on the box,
He had a funny hat and curly white hair and was kinda scary.

Quote :
“Just needed a place to change clothes,”
“And gender. Usual stuff.”

Quote :
“You need a key to get in there,” the guy said.
Guy: A magic key. Like the one in my pants.
Toad: Damn, lot of those around. Do I need to shine this one in my mouth too?

Quote :
“I know,” Todd told him, “I’ve got one right here.” He held up the key. The man nearly fell off his box.
“Oh shit, I never saw anything more magical and amazing!”

Quote :
“You got the key!?”
Time for a fantasy adventure~!

Quote :
“From Roger?” Todd thought back to when he was in the gas station and remembered that the name on the name tag had indeed been Roger.
Or was it Kevin? Steve?

Quote :
“Wow, he must like you or something,”
“Well, he said I was the best key-shiner he ever met.”

Quote :
“I’m Todd, by the way,” he said. The guy on the box took another drag of his cigarette before answering.

“Parker,” he said.
Yet another victim of the last names as first names trend.

Quote :
As soon as he stepped into the bathroom the lights came on automatically and Todd could tell that Roger really had never given out the key before.
Why he had a bathroom inn the first place is anybody's guess. Roger himself just craps out back behind the thing.

Quote :
It was the cleanest gas station bathroom he had ever seen. It really was quite amazing; it even smelled like lemons.
Man, this story is just fulla queers.

Quote :
Todd stripped his clothes off and looked at himself in the mirror. The mirror reflected everything from his navel up and he stepped back a few steps to get a better look at his body.
“Oh yeah, I am a stone-cold fox all right.”

Quote :
There it was again.
That ominous organ music! Better run before the carnival of souls gets you.

Quote :
Right there where it always was, just hanging around.
Penis: Hey, Todd, wat'cha doing?
Toad: I dunno, nothin'.
Penis: You wanna hang out? Maybe rent a movie?
Toad: Eh, I was kinda thinking of spending tonight by myself.
Penis: Oh. Oh, that's OK. Maybe tomorrow?
Toad: I'll think about it, yo.

Quote :
It’s not like it was evil; it just wasn’t what Todd had hoped for.
“I'm not mad, penis, just... disappointed.”

Quote :
He stepped back up to his bag and pulled out the first thing he would need for his transformation, a roll of silver duct tape.
The silver is necessary. Extra fancy.

Quote :
“I’m worried about him,” Wanda said, speaking to the Brotherhood. They had all gathered in their small living room as soon as it was clear that Todd wasn’t coming back any time soon. “You saw what happened earlier, something is seriously wrong.”
Yeah, the Brotherhood is still really concerned about Toad.

Quote :
“It kind of hurts thinking about it,” Fred said, leaning back into the large sofa he was sharing with Lance, “right here,” he said, pointing at his stomach. “I know there’s something wrong, but I don’t know what and because of that I can’t help.”
Aaaa[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Quote :
“Truer words have never been spoken,” Pietro said, standing behind the chair Wanda was sitting in.

“Where did that come from?” Lance asked, looking at Pietro.

“What?”
“You got a little OOC on your face there.”

Quote :
“Truer words have never been spoken?” Lance said, “it just doesn’t sound like a Pietro thing to say.”
“Well, I have a convenient excuse.”

Quote :
“I get weird when I get worried,” Pietro told him.
“In fact, we all do. I start reciting poetry, Fred starts playing football obsessively, Wanda adopts and raises adorable bunnies...”

Quote :
There were all quiet for awhile before Wanda finally broke the silence.
“So, anyone else on their period?”

Yeah, so they decide they had better go out and look for their friend who is clearly not in his right mind. How... considerate.

Quote :
Todd stepped away from the mirror and couldn’t help but think how natural he looked.
The fake eyelashes, water bra, coat of foundation, and wig really contribute to his natural look.

Quote :
“So I’m no Marilyn Monroe, but I do look pretty good,”
Somehow I doubt that, honey.

Quote :
He had slipped on a red halter-top that exposed his mid section and a black skirt that came to just below his knee. Sure, he was still wearing his old sneakers, and there was nothing he could do about the hair on his legs or around his navel for now, but Todd felt right.
Yeah, you sound lovely.

Quote :
He smiled at his reflection and, with great satisfaction, threw his old clothes into the trash.
Uh, are you sure you are not going to need those later?

Quote :
He pushed the bathroom door open and stepped out into the soft glow of the single bulb hanging from a wire just outside the bathroom door. Remembering the bulb made him remember Parker and his stomach felt like it was dropping to the ground as he spun around to see if Parker was still sitting on his box.
God, just marry that damn box already.

Quote :
How could Todd have forgotten about Parker? What was going to happen now? As all the possibilities of what Parker might do ran through Todd’s head,
Queerstomp, throw-up, run away, queerstomp, yell profanities, throw stuff, queerstomp...

Quote :
a most unexpected thing happened, Parker started laughing.
Why, I NEVER would have seen that coming! How unexpected!

Quote :
“I’m sorry, “ Parker laughed, “it’s just not what I expected you to look like when you came out of there!”
“It's amazing how you got even uglier like that!”

Quote :
“I’m dressed like this for me,” he said, “ This is who I am.”
A slut.
Quote :
“I think that’s pretty cool of you, Todd,” Parker said,
“I get all my blow-jobs from ugly, little, gender-confused freaks just like you!”

Quote :
“You better believe it,” he said, “you shouldn’t try and hide who you are,
Yeah, you should learn to accept that you are a mutant and be proud of it- oh. Still on about the gender thing, huh? *sigh* Carry on.

Quote :
So he just punched you?” Kurt asked, looking dot Sct Scott’s head being cradled in Jean’s lap as they sat on the couch in the mansion.
Scott: Yes. I gotted a boo-boo on my face.
Jean: Awww, poor thing. Lemme kiss it~

Quote :
“For the last time, Kurt,” Scott said, “yes, that is exactly what happened. I’m tired of telling everybody so just leave me alone, please.”
Kurt: But if don't talk about what a pussy you are we von't have anything to talk about!
Scott: Hey!
Jean: No, he has a point.
Scott: {:<
Jean: Aww, it's OK, I love your patheticness <3

Quote :
“It’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard!” Kurt said, holding his sides as he doubled over, still laughing.
“It's funnier than that time you got stuck in a spinning hotel door!”

Quote :
“Yeah, well it isn’t that funny, in fact, it wasn’t funny at all,” Scott told him.
“I'm taking my ball and going home guys!”

Quote :
“I think it’s pretty funny,” Logan said, emerging from out of nowhere.
“Logan, you thought it was funny when I ate stale bread yesterday.”

Quote :
“I’m hungry,” Kurt said, standing up.

“You’re always hungry,” Scott said.

“You’re always bitchy,” Kurt told him.
“Well, it is a cornerstone of my personality.”

Quote :
Todd left the gas station, barely remembering to return the precious key to Roger before leaving,
*whew* Bullet dodged.

Quote :
the man giving him the strangest looks the whole time,
“Damn, maybe I shouldn't have giving him my precious key.”

Quote :
and had headed straight for a strip of clubs two miles from the boarding house. He stayed as far away from the boarding house as he could while he made his way to the clubs.
Yeah, you would not want your friends seeing you and getting all their caring and love all over you.

Quote :
“That is the ugliest check I have ever seen,” Lance said, pointing to a person walking on the sidewalk at a brisk pace as he, Pietro and Wanda continued there search for Todd.
Lance: Ugh, are her eyes yellow? What the hell?
Pietro: Huh, yeah, must be some sort of mutant or something.
Lance: Lookit her hair! Does she have a mini-mullet? And her skin!
Pietro: Actually, she's kinda hot in a weird sort of way.

Quote :
“Cute outfit, though,” Wanda commented.
*tee-hee* “I love clothes!”

Quote :
So here he was, exactly where he wanted to be, right? Todd had found what he had been looking for. Lines of gay clubs, all of them booming with business, were laid out before him.
He walked all the way to Portland?

Quote :
He walked straight in the door of a club called “Cherries” and bowled over a drag queen just to get inside.
I thought he was going to Juiceboxxx?

Quote :
“You broke the heal on my new pumps you bitch!” The queen said in the most feminine voice Todd had ever heard,
Certainly more feminine than Wanda.

Quote :
“Hell no, bitch,” the queen said, and pulling her hand back as far as she could, bitch slapped the bouncer. Todd’s eyes flew open and his jaw hit the floor. The bouncer was just as shocked as Todd, probably more so.
“Uh, Ma'am? You do know what my job is, right?”

Quote :
Todd had no idea what he would do back, but he got his answer when the bouncer wound up and slapped the drag queen back.
Yeah, must a gay club alright.

Quote :
A/N- the next chapter will be very dark and disturbing
Promises, promises.
Back to top Go down
Delcat
Good old-fashioned nightmare fuel
Good old-fashioned nightmare fuel
Delcat

Join date : 2009-06-13
Age : 33
Location : Underestimating the power of soup

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptySat Nov 14, 2009 9:55 pm

Reepicheep-chan wrote:
Quote :
So here he was, exactly where he wanted to be, right? Todd had found what he had been looking for. Lines of gay clubs, all of them booming with business, were laid out before him.
He walked all the way to Portland?
With a penny and a broken cigarette in his hand.
Back to top Go down
http://delcat.insanejournal.com
Zeiss Manifold
Ants got into everyone
Ants got into everyone
Zeiss Manifold

Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 29
Location : In the Land of Foppery and Whim

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptySat Nov 14, 2009 9:58 pm

Delcat wrote:
Reepicheep-chan wrote:
Quote :
So here he was, exactly where he wanted to be, right? Todd had found what he had been looking for. Lines of gay clubs, all of them booming with business, were laid out before him.
He walked all the way to Portland?
With a penny and a broken cigarette in his hand.

Night train to slapping drag queens...
Back to top Go down
Reepicheep-chan
Important Person
Important Person
Reepicheep-chan

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 35
Location : IN A SEXY NEW CONDO

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyWed Sep 15, 2010 10:24 pm

Welp, I am finally finishing this snark, like I promised myself I would. Unlike Pretending which I am never finishing because my god it is eternal and boring. I had a super hard time doing this chapter -.-


Quote :
Okay, so chapter four is here, and may I say, it’s a good one.
No comment.

Quote :
Compared to this chapter, the other ones kind of suck.
Also no comment.

Ok, Toad walks into a bar, I mean, uh, the gay club “Cherries”. It is pretty normal except that there is both karaoke and dancing, and the image of dancing to some middle aged gay saleryman belting out Lady Gaga off-key kind of cracks me up.

Quote :
Everybody he looked at seemed to fit exactly where they were, but looking down at his hands folded in his laps, Todd wondered if he would be successful in his goal to be fucked.
You really gotta aim higher dude.

Quote :
A handsome man who was obviously a waiter sauntered over to where Todd was sitting and took the seat opposite him, and in the most flamboyant way imaginable, produced a small notepad from his pocket with a huge flourish of his arms. He smiled at Todd and gave him a wink as he flipped the notepad open.
A wild Homosexual appears!

Quote :
“Hey there, Sugar,” the waiter said in such a sexy voice that had Todd been in a better mood, it would have grabbed his attention quick. Todd smiled meekly at the waiter and pulled his arms up onto the table, flipping his head so that his hair was out of his eyes.
“Oh God, your eyes! Your horrible, horrible eyes!”

Quote :
The waiter’s grin diminished into a sad smile and he reached over and grabbed Todd’s hand, rubbing it slowly.
Bad touch! Bad touch!

Quote :
... the waiter told him, “listen, I’m gonna go get you something to drink and you can tell me all about it, I get off in about fifteen minutes.”
Nonono, the customers buy the other customers drinks with the hope of getting laid, not the waiters!

Quote :
A very drunk woman, who was most likely here with some gay friends, fag-hags they’re often called, was being gyrated against by a very buff and very gay man in his underwear as she squealed with joy and spilled her drink all over her clothes.
I am deeply offended by this anti-faghag propaganda.

Quote :
Todd spotted the drag queen he had bumped into outside the club suddenly emerge from somewhere by the door with a ripped dress and a triumphant look on her face.
I know what you all are thinking, but really she just finished beating the shit out of the bouncer and is emerging triumphant after knifing him and putting his body in the dumpster out side. Either way I think they need a new bouncer.

Quote :
Kyle returned just as Todd was giving up hope, he held in his hand two drinks, both similar in appearance, and offered one to Todd. Kyle beamed when Todd accepted it and took a sip of his own drink.
“Omigod omigod hes drinking it squeeeee~!”

Quote :
“So, Sugar,” Kyle said, wrapping a piece of his hair in a rubber band he had pulled from his pocket,
Shit, son, you gonna fuck up your hair tying it back with rubber bands. Those are for offices, not fashion.

So, they chat about Toad realizing he is a she, which is not actually all that funny. Truthfully it sounds pretty generic.

OK except one line:
Quote :
I should be a woman. It’s my destiny.”
It is unavoidable. It is your destiny.

Quote :
“Sugar, I know you’re not twenty-one,”
I have not kicked you out because I hate my job.

Quote :
“So go on, Sugar, tell me more,” Kyle said.
“Your life is so fascinating, like a poorly thought-out fanifc!”

Blah blah, Toad talks about stealing Wanda's clothes.

Quote :
I guess I started acting differently because this morning I found Wanda and everyone else talking about me and I guess I kind of freaked out. I ran away from them and eventually ended up here, dressed like this.”
“They were all talking about how they were worried about me. Like we were friends and they cared and stuff! I mean, how shitty is that, yo?”

Quote :
“but I love them so much and I’d be nothing without them and if they were to leave me then I’d be nothing at all.” He wiped a tear from his eye
God I am confused.

Quote :
“Of course I’m sure, Sugar,” Kyle said. Todd suddenly realized that this person did not even know his name.
Your name is now Sugar. Deal.

Quote :
Every time Kyle turned around his blonde hair would swirl around his face in a way that had blood pumping to Todd’s duct taped dick.
Curse you peniiis!

Quote :
He pulled out a key in a flashy way
Damnit dude, put that away, you are still in public.

Quote :
They stepped out onto the floor Kyle’s apartment was and passed some people who looked at Kyle in disgust.

“They don’t like me cause I’m gay,”
And yet you are about to fuck a woman. Internal consistency, fic!

OK, so we change scenes to the Brotherhood of Overprotective Mother-Hens:

Quote :
Fred sat planted in front of the television, gnawing his nails till they bled in anticipation
Shit, I wish my hangnail bleed... IN ANTICIPATION!

Quote :
Fred stood and started to head for the kitchen for another bag of chips when the phone rang.
RINGRINGRING! RINGRINGRING! PHONE CALL! PHONE CALL!

Quote :
“Fred?” It was Todd. Fred felt a wave of relief when he heard Todd’s voice, but was immediately followed by a wave of panic when he heard the way Todd sounded. He was talking so quiet and sounded so much like he was in pain, his voice thick with fear.
Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuun.

Quote :
“I need you to come get me, Fred, I’m so scared,” he said.
Well I am so excited!

Quote :
A/N- I know I promised this chapter would be rather dark, but I swear the next one will be no matter what.
There is no next chapter.
Back to top Go down
Sheba
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Sheba

Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 33

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyWed Sep 15, 2010 11:39 pm

Reepicheep-chan wrote:
Cut Me Feminine by DietBleach

Quote :
He pulled it across his chest and clasped it in the back. Letting go of it, he moved across the room to his dresser, the bra slipping down to his waist from the lack of breasts keeping it in place.
Pretty sure that is from lack of straps keeping it in place. Breasts are not, like, naturally glue-y or anything.

Toad's would be. He's kind of sticky all over, what with the slime.

.....And just what is it with people sexualizing him anyway? Really, what is inherently sexy about bad hygeine, physical deformities, and the emotional scarring that accompanies same?
Back to top Go down
Reepicheep-chan
Important Person
Important Person
Reepicheep-chan

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 35
Location : IN A SEXY NEW CONDO

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyThu Sep 16, 2010 9:15 am

6 foot long prehensile tongue.
Back to top Go down
Sutremaine
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Sutremaine

Join date : 2009-11-14
Age : 35
Location : UK

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyThu Sep 16, 2010 12:24 pm

Jesus. wrote:
Poor Todd (Todda? Toddine? Shirley?)
Stapelia?
Back to top Go down
Tungsten Monk
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Tungsten Monk

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 32
Location : Cedar Rapids, IA

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyThu Sep 16, 2010 2:32 pm

I kept imagining Toad from the first X-Men movie. Who is arguably more sexy than Evo Toad, but still creepy and slimy. Also, I didn't need to imagine Ray Park in a dress. Just . . . no.

That being said, I think either the author is projecting liek whoa or has some bizarre fetishes. There is no way this could actually be a result of studying Toad's character.
Back to top Go down
Mr.Doobie
Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach
Mr.Doobie

Join date : 2009-10-23
Location : under the sink

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyThu Sep 16, 2010 3:52 pm

Quote :
he felt incredibly sexy looking at his new features. Grabbing a tube of lipstick, he applied it liberally with unpracticed haste.

Toad: "Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. Hard."

Does the author realize that her entire first scene is just a recreation of the Buffalo Bill dance? Is this on purpose? Or did the author do this entirely by accident? Does she make any mention of Toad dancing to "Goodbye Horses" while he does this?

Quote :
Quote :
their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to

All I can think of is this.

Me:
Back to top Go down
Max III
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Max III

Join date : 2010-03-05
Age : 148
Location : A very comfortable armchair

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyFri Sep 17, 2010 11:04 pm

I thought this fic was about Toad, as in Frog And Toad Are Friends, until I was like several paragraphs in.

God, am I relieved that it wasn't.
Back to top Go down
Sheba
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Sheba

Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 33

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptyFri Sep 17, 2010 11:16 pm

Reepicheep-chan wrote:
6 foot long prehensile tongue.

And the fungal/yeast infections that would result, yum!

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." 556166

Back to top Go down
Observed
Sporkbender
Sporkbender


Join date : 2010-09-17
Location : Hissing softly in your ear.

Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." EmptySat Sep 18, 2010 2:04 am

Nihilist wrote:
I forgot how hilariously bad this was, and I still imagine Toad from Super Mario parodying Silence of the Lambs.

Great! Now I can only think of the Super Mario theme while reading this.
Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." 585516
Not Good.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty
PostSubject: Re: Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."   Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to." Empty

Back to top Go down
 
Cut Me Feminine, by DietBleach: "their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to."
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Why God, Why? :: The Sporking Table :: New Releases-
Jump to: