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 The Salvation War

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gaijinguy
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PostSubject: The Salvation War   Sun Sep 27, 2009 5:14 pm

The internet is a place with no quality control, so it makes sense that most of the content sucks. But one amazing thing about this content is how it can bring all the freaks together. Case in point, StarDestroyer.net's wank-fest collaborative story, [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Apparently, the plot goes as follows. Satan tells us he's going to take over, so all religious people commit suicide for some reason, miraculously turning humanity into a species of Mary Sues that doesn't rip itself shreds even though Ragnarok has apparently been scheduled for some time next Thursday. Said Mary Sues proceed to declare war on Heaven and Hell, who are of course completely lame and have no powers that can't be handwaved away with explanations that make The X-Files look like hard science.

The writing is pretty much impossible to describe, but I'll take a shot at it: imagine Tom Clancy in full gun-wank mode combined with Phillip Pullman in full atheism wank mode combined with an understanding of the natural sciences that makes Tom Cruise look rational. The fun part? The story I linked to, above, is allegedly the cleaned up version of this POS. Enjoy!

Yes, I set up my LJ for the sole purpose of tearing this piece of shit a new one.
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Keith Fraser
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Sun Sep 27, 2009 6:07 pm

Someone on TV Tropes must really like this, because most of what I know about it comes from a long entry on one of the Crowning Moment of Awesome pages.
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gaijinguy
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Sun Sep 27, 2009 6:09 pm

Ooh yes. TVtropes is overflowing with [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] for this piece, as is the board. Garrett can give better account of it than I can, but one detail I do remember was the author claiming that someone going by the handle NecronLord was only pointing out how ridiculous the whole thing was because he had a relationship with God that was connected to Stockholm Syndrome.
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Psy-4
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Sun Sep 27, 2009 7:16 pm

Even Mikky Bay had the U.S. army pwned repeatedly, before they delivered an ass kicking.
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KGarrett
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Mon Sep 28, 2009 3:35 am

This'd probably be better in Original Fiction, with a Websites topic for SD.net as a whole, but yeah. Pretty good example of just how trashy SD.net is. Also, unfortunately, "cleaned up" just means it's only the story chapters, with all the discussion removed.
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Ceres
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Mon Sep 28, 2009 9:32 pm

I read some of it until I got bored. Basically, interesting concept, botched execution.

I mean, there are some interesting concepts. They find Julius Caesar in Hell and show him HBO's Rome series, mind-control is avoided by wearing tin-foil hats, teleporting demons create Fed-Ex-like service, and Bronze-Age demonic armies fight a modern one. Meanwhile, angels are jerks and one of the big-name angels is the actual big bad.

You could make a decent 'Good Omens' comedy out of it, but it's buried under endless war fetishism, written in the style of a manual for an obtuse tactical role-playing game.
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Tue Sep 29, 2009 4:30 am

That was a tvtropes link. Gaijinguy, you owe me three hours.
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gaijinguy
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Tue Sep 29, 2009 6:34 am

Cactus Wren wrote:
That was a tvtropes link. Gaijinguy, you owe me three hours.

Sorry. My disclaimer absolves me of all responsibility.
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Keith Fraser
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Tue Sep 29, 2009 12:29 pm

I think this story is probably what the [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] would call a 'wank', in this case a Humanwank. (The TV Tropes version, though it applies mainly to countrywanks, is [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] [yes, it may surprise you to learn that that's a TV Tropes link, beware etc.]).
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Tue Sep 29, 2009 7:38 pm

gaijinguy wrote:
Ooh yes. TVtropes is overflowing with [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] for this piece, as is the board. Garrett can give better account of it than I can, but one detail I do remember was the author claiming that someone going by the handle NecronLord was only pointing out how ridiculous the whole thing was because he had a relationship with God that was connected to Stockholm Syndrome.

Wait, wait. God kidnapped NecronLord at some point, and the encounter gave him Stockholm Syndrome? Cause I've always had this idea that if the Almighty did exist, he likely has better things to do then kidnap random fangeeks.
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gaijinguy
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Tue Sep 29, 2009 7:42 pm

Rabid Badger wrote:
gaijinguy wrote:
Ooh yes. TVtropes is overflowing with [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] for this piece, as is the board. Garrett can give better account of it than I can, but one detail I do remember was the author claiming that someone going by the handle NecronLord was only pointing out how ridiculous the whole thing was because he had a relationship with God that was connected to Stockholm Syndrome.

Wait, wait. God kidnapped NecronLord at some point, and the encounter gave him Stockholm Syndrome? Cause I've always had this idea that if the Almighty did exist, he likely has better things to do then kidnap random fangeeks.

I didn't pay that much attention; I was getting too many lulz over the mental image of Fred Phelps playing Warhammer 40K.
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Keith Fraser
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Tue Sep 29, 2009 7:50 pm

Now THERE'S a funny image. I guess he'd probably play Ordo Hereticus/Sisters of Battle, with 'The Emperor Hates Fags' written on all their banners. And every time people who played other armies lost, he'd claim it was because the dice gods hated them for not bashing gays.
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Zeiss Manifold
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Tue Sep 29, 2009 9:23 pm

gaijinguy wrote:
Ooh yes. TVtropes is overflowing with [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] for this piece, as is the board.

*checks*

Boy howdy, [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.].

Quote :
Disclaimer: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] is written in the style of a [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]. Characters will talk from their own POV, make mistakes, misspeak (if they're lucky), or talk out their... (if they're not). [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] might [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.],
fail completely or be abandoned either due to changing circumstances or
because a better idea came up. Those looking for a conventional [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.],
an exclusive focus on dramatic tension, or the other properties of a
traditional dramatic narrative sometimes find it difficult to adapt to
the different story-telling style.

pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

Yeah, I gave up on TVTropes a bit when every fight in anything ever started counting as a Crowning Moment Of Awesome. I think the last straw was seeing the Max/Miriya knife fight from Macross listed, which...[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]....


Lovin' the snark so far, though.
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Wed Sep 30, 2009 9:56 pm

Zeiss Manifold wrote:
gaijinguy wrote:
Ooh yes. TVtropes is overflowing with [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] for this piece, as is the board.
*checks*

Boy howdy, [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.].
Grrr... They're deleting negative comments on the discussion page! I'm not even posting to the article, and I'm not even strictly criticizing the work, and they're getting deleted!

Argh. These people are so annoying.

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Zeiss Manifold
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Wed Sep 30, 2009 10:01 pm

KelinciHutan wrote:

Grrr... They're deleting negative comments on the discussion page! I'm not even posting to the article, and I'm not even strictly criticizing the work, and they're getting deleted!

Argh. These people are so annoying.

HAVE THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC DO A FEATURE ON THIS
MAKE TVTROPES IMPLODE

ETA: Just take a look at the Completely Missing The Point entry. The big beef with the story isn't that the demons aren't "The [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] most people interpret them to be from details in [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] it's the fact that they're set up from the beginning as complete pushovers.
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unskilled78
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Thu Oct 01, 2009 12:51 am

gaijinguy wrote:

Apparently, the plot goes as follows. Satan tells us he's going to take over, so all religious people commit suicide for some reason, miraculously turning humanity into a species of Mary Sues that doesn't rip itself shreds even though Ragnarok has apparently been scheduled for some time next Thursday. Said Mary Sues proceed to declare war on Heaven and Hell, who are of course completely lame and have no powers that can't be handwaved away with explanations that make The X-Files look like hard science.
I Think God/YWVH/Allah told humanity to kill itself. This, combined with the shock of finding that the foundation of your life was based on lies, led to the suicides. Obviously, this wouldn't lead to the world becoming an 5-billion-strong A-Team, but still...

gaijinguy wrote:

The writing is pretty much impossible to describe, but I'll take a shot at it: imagine Tom Clancy in full gun-wank mode combined with Phillip Pullman in full atheism wank mode combined with an understanding of the natural sciences that makes Tom Cruise look rational.
But I like Tom Clancy in "full gun-wank mode"
I kinda like the story, but it is kinda pathetic how the only way Hell poses a threat is sheer Zerg Rush.

Yea, this reminds me of a Star Trek against Star Wars story where the Enterprise E takes on more than 100 ISDs, 5000 TIE fighters, several thousand Skiprays, and I think four SSD:
Quote :
The battle had already been a disaster; thirty of the fleet's best Star Destroyers were gone, fifty wrecked, dozens more damaged. Battlequeen, one of the most advanced Super Star Destroyers in the entire Imperial Navy, was struggling to contain horrendous damage.
(in 25 minutes)
(I think this was most of the Corescant Defense Fleet), and the Ent-E has to withdraw because the rift back home is only open part of the time. They left the Stardrive section, carrying some 18,000 TONS of anti-matter, which blows up a goodly chunk of the remaining fleet.
I think Mars ended up getting destroyed by the Death Star, but the Defiant had gotten the DS plans from Leia and was able to destroy it.
Also, the Milky Way-ers are immune to the force and cannot be sensed through it.
The website it's on uses frames, so [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] is the best I can do. To read the rest, simply go to the button marked "Recreation", then it's at the bottom. The Caption Contest is pretty full of lulz too.
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gaijinguy
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:36 am

unskilled78 wrote:
gaijinguy wrote:

Apparently, the plot goes as follows. Satan tells us he's going to take over, so all religious people commit suicide for some reason, miraculously turning humanity into a species of Mary Sues that doesn't rip itself shreds even though Ragnarok has apparently been scheduled for some time next Thursday. Said Mary Sues proceed to declare war on Heaven and Hell, who are of course completely lame and have no powers that can't be handwaved away with explanations that make The X-Files look like hard science.
I Think God/YWVH/Allah told humanity to kill itself. This, combined with the shock of finding that the foundation of your life was based on lies, led to the suicides. Obviously, this wouldn't lead to the world becoming an 5-billion-strong A-Team, but still...

No, he didn't. I just got through Chapter 4, and they explicitly said that the message was from Satan. (Sporking up, he said, pimping his LJ.) There was a couple hints earlier that there might have been another Message, but that appears to have been completely Jossed. Basically, the plot is so stuck on the rails that even basic causality doesn't exist in this universe; the plot is going in a Rage Against The Heavens direction despite the fact that the heavens have yet to put in an appearance, let alone do anything.
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unskilled78
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Thu Oct 01, 2009 10:35 am

In chapter 18 or so (I'm at 19, because I'm not snarking this beast), I think they have an angel make an appearance. It apparently pisses off a tank crew, so it gets blown away.

BTW, some 85 chapters in the first book. Good Luck and Godspeed.I hope it's all as good as the first stab, which I'm reading now.
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:10 pm

I..God, part of me wants to get in on this and part of me doesn't want to touch it with a ten-foot pole specifically built for wank-poking. But we could stand to get some actual quotes in here, so...
Quote :
“I, Satan Mekratrig, Lord of Hell, Commander of the Legions of the Damned do hereby declare my dominion over the earth and all that it contains. Crawl to me, humans, knowing the eternity of torment that awaits you.”

“Balls.” Said Lieutenant Michael Wong.
...yeah, that's actually how the story starts. That's generally either a very good or very bad sign. I WONDER WHICH IT IS.
Quote :
There was a pause for a few seconds, electrostatic discharges in the atmosphere were playing havoc with radio communications but the systems filtering programs quickly cleared the white noise from the channel. “Confirm contact Eagle Flight. Bearing 358, range from Buster is 66.6 nautical miles. Target speed 184 knots, course one-three-fiver. For your information, Crown and Scepter are tracking also. They have locks.” There was a pause, a series of crackles on the radio, then the message resumed. “If targets are hostile, you are cleared to engage.”

Wong translated the message in his head. ‘Buster’ was CVN-76 USS Ronald Reagan, ‘Crown’ was CG-70 USS Lake Erie, an AEGIS cruiser, while ‘Scepter’ was DDG-93 USS Chung-Hoon, one of the Arleigh Burke class destroyers that now dominated the fleet’s surface combatant force. Also AEGIS-equipped, that meant whatever the targets were, they were now being tracked by three of the most advanced radar systems in the U.S. Navy. The ‘lock’ part of the message was really interesting, that suggested the order to open fire was already being passed out.
oh wow six paragraphs in and I'm already thinking about porn instead. Penguin, you're probably the authority here--is this stuff a) accurate and/or b) interesting? I'd venture a guess, but it's hard to think over the sound of the tech-fapping.
Quote :
At twelve nautical miles range, the U.S. Navy Hornets got their visual ID. The contacts were four giant creatures, jet black in color, looking like a hideous cross between a gorilla and a bird. Four limbs, two wings, flying in an unconcerned, oblivious line.

“Just what the hell are those?”
Escapees from that godawful movie adaptation they made of A Sound of Thunder a few years ago? Funny, they're not any more biologically plausible now.
Quote :
Some of those razor-sharp fragments slashed through Shingroleth’s tail, severing it at the root and sending it spinning off in a long arc. Others ripped into his legs and genitals, tearing open the great arteries, sending his fire-and acid blood spraying over his body, and mangling his reproductive organs beyond recognition.
Actually may be veering into less plausible territory, and I sincerely did not think that was possible.
Quote :
The demon’s eyes, in fact every feature of its face, had been destroyed in the hail of cannon shells tearing through its structure. Once again, fire-and-acid blood spraying from the ruptured veins and arteries finished the job of destruction that fragments, explosions and blast had started. The demon erupted into flames and dropped like a stone towards the sea below.
...so its blood vessels are...made of...steel, or something? And every time they cut themselves shaving or peeling a particularly nasty banana or something, this happens? And this is considered to have Crowning Moments of anything?
Quote :
“Them. Everybody. Our forces, the religious leaders who brought that message to us, those who the message came from. I don’t care who “they” are, either they attacked us or they betrayed us and I don’t see the difference between those who promise us an eternity of torture or those who would hand us over to that fate. They’re both our enemies now. And we’ll fight them. All of them.” Bush’s voice had gained strength and he made his commitment. “We may have believed in higher powers once, but they’ve forfeited any loyalty we may have owed them. Secretary Gates, get the word out. We fight.”
Sorry, are we talking about the same president, here? "They've forfeited any loyalty we may have owed them"? "I don't see the difference between those who promise us an eternity of torture or those who would hand us over to that fate"? Seriously?
Quote :
“I’m not getting any blade beat Sir. None at all. In fact I’m getting no machinery noise at all. No pompholugopaphlasmasin.”
Great, now it's a sneeze fetish fic.
Quote :
“Well, there’s no doubt about, we just scored a Baldrick.” A cheer went up around the control room. Ever since Prime Minister Gordon Brown had quoted ‘Blackadder’ in his initial announcement, the British had taken to calling the denizens of hell, ‘Baldricks’.
LOOK GUYS

I AM SO FUCKING SAVVY WITH ETHNIC REFERENCES

SO FUCKING SAVVY
Quote :
A few minutes later, the preparations were ready. Suranov looked up at the politician who was starting the third speech of his program. “Tovarish. We are about to blow the beast. Please come down.”
aaaand I am officially out before the Russian politicians/gorillasaur bestiality scene, thank you very much
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:32 pm

Quote :
“I, Satan Mekratrig, Lord of Hell, Commander of the Legions of the Damned do hereby declare my dominion over the earth and all that it contains. Crawl to me, humans, knowing the eternity of torment that awaits you.”

“Balls.” Said Lieutenant Michael Wong.

Mekratrig. Mek rat rig. Does anybody else have an image of a BattleMech being driven by a rat?
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Somath Cegem
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:57 pm

I've come to the conclusion that once they reach heaven all they will find is Jesus sprawled out on a cloud, high as a kite, munching on a big pack of cheese puffs that never runs out while he plays Atari (That's right JC plays old school)

"Sup Brah, pull up a cumulus."
"Where is the Lord God!"
"Oh him? G left me in charge not long after I got up here, think he went to start over in a different dimension with his giraffes"
"But the message, the death, the famine, the BEARS!"
"No idea Brah, cheese puff?"
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Thu Oct 01, 2009 3:50 pm

Quote :
I've come to the conclusion that once they reach
heaven all they will find is Jesus sprawled out on a cloud, high as a
kite, munching on a big pack of cheese puffs that never runs out while
he plays Atari (That's right JC plays old school)

Actually... yeah, that's what happens.

I know you lot won't care and the story doesn't deserve it, so to hell with spoiler tags:

According to book two, yes, Jesus is a pot smoking hipping. Meanwhile, the actual Yahweh is a deluded authoritarian that doesn't know what's going on, but seems pretty sure that he'll eventually win.

The Big Bad is his number two, Archangel Micheal I think, who is the brains behind the operation. As God's general, Micheal is free to send Yahweh loyalists to battle so they get killed. His plans, ifrc, is to let the humans kill his enemies, and maybe God, so he can take over.

Let's see, what else... oh, and Micheal also has a hidden dimention thing with prostitutes imported from Singapor (!). He also has a drug operation and half of heaven is addicted to meth (!!).

As I said, Jesus is a pothead, and lights up joints with his buddy Micheal, but I don't think he knows that Micheal is up to.

That where I stopped reading last time, anyway, but I do plan to check on the story later when I'm bored. I tend to skim though, so I'm sure I missed a lot.
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Thu Oct 01, 2009 4:32 pm

Ceres wrote:
Quote :
I've come to the conclusion that once they reach
heaven all they will find is Jesus sprawled out on a cloud, high as a
kite, munching on a big pack of cheese puffs that never runs out while
he plays Atari (That's right JC plays old school)

Actually... yeah, that's what happens.

I know you lot won't care and the story doesn't deserve it, so to hell with spoiler tags:

According to book two, yes, Jesus is a pot smoking hipping. Meanwhile, the actual Yahweh is a deluded authoritarian that doesn't know what's going on, but seems pretty sure that he'll eventually win.
"I'm just waiting for the Omnipotence to kick back in, things been on the fritz since all that Moses crap."

Ceres wrote:
The Big Bad is his number two, Archangel Micheal I think, who is the brains behind the operation. As God's general, Micheal is free to send Yahweh loyalists to battle so they get killed. His plans, ifrc, is to let the humans kill his enemies, and maybe God, so he can take over.
"Of course, I shall use the fools to kill my enemies and then take over, for they will never think of coming after me, Gods second in command! Mine is an evil laugh!"

Ceres wrote:
Let's see, what else... oh, and Micheal also has a hidden dimention thing with prostitutes imported from Singapor (!).
"Me love you long time?" "You have no idea babe"

Ceres wrote:
He also has a drug operation and half of heaven is addicted to meth (!!).
"I feel like I'm heaven man"
"We are in heaven"
"Whoa, I think you just blew my mind"

Ceres wrote:
As I said, Jesus is a pothead, and lights up joints with his buddy Michael, but I don't think he knows that Michael is up to.
"Hey M, You wouldn't be plotting to over throw what is esentually me in another form would you?"
"Noooooooo~ Muffin?"
"I love you man."

Ceres wrote:
That where I stopped reading last time, anyway, but I do plan to check on the story later when I'm bored. I tend to skim though, so I'm sure I missed a lot.

I got enough from what you said right there, if I had the time I would so snark this.
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Thu Oct 01, 2009 5:24 pm

OK, what I'd heard so far just sounded like over-the-top military/humanwank, but this stuff about what's happening in Heaven seems to descend into parody (and bad atheismwank).
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Ceres
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PostSubject: Re: The Salvation War   Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:37 pm

The whole story is trying to be a parody, but its a REALLY poorly executed one.

And did I mention the female stripper angels doing some lesbian fondling at Micheal's drug den/club thing for the amusement of the drugged-up clientele?

Oh I didn't? Silly me...
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