Well, today had been a long crappy day. I didn't get much sleep last night, and when I got off of work, I was tired as hell with a raging headache and a bout of indigestion from the slice of pizza I had at lunch. anyway I pop a pepcid ac and some advil, grab a coke and go to Fanfiction.net to find some cute Latvia/Sealand shonen ai stories. Instead I found this and promptly threw up: Sealand's New Babysitter
It is a creepy,trashy,tasteless,vile,over the top pice of shit I ever had the misfortune to ever read! The story starts off with Sweden and Finland having a dilemma. They're going on a second honeymoon overnight the following day and they have no one to look after Sealand. But, then they bump into The Netherlands who offers to care for the little guy. But it's certainly, isn't out of the goodness of his heart, oh lord no. The Netherlands is apparently an evil pedophile out to rape poor Sealand!
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- "So.." Netherlands began turning towards Tino and Berwald, "Let's get down to business what do I need to do to for the little guy?" He asked the Nordic couple.
You can start out by not raping the 12 year old boy you're supposed to be looking after.
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- "Well, all we need you to do is keep him company and keep him safe. Also, there's some leftover casserole for dinner." Finland informed the Dutch nation.
"That sounds good, so where do I sleep?" Inquired Lars. 'Though I was thinking about feeding Peter a big, juicy, Dutch sausgage with some white gravy!' The Dutch nation thought to himself.
Well, you certainly picked the wrong guy for the job! Unless you mean by 'keep Sealand safe' you mean 'violently rape him'. Also, 'Though I was going to feed Peter a big, juicy, Dutch sausgage with, some white gravy!' What in the fuck?!? That is just stupid!!! I mean is The Netherlands really acting all "Hurr! I'm gonna make this kid eat a sausage, and by sausage, I mean I'm gonna make him blow me!" Seriously? I pray this is a troll! This is just too stupid to be serious!
So, after Finland and Sweden leave, The Netherlands decides to watch t.v. with Sealand before he assaults the poor kid and we get this:
[/quote]'Sealand is so cute so sexy! Dose he realize how fuckable he looks right now.' Netherlands thought a look of lust in his eyes. His pants had grown uncomfortably tight, and a little voice in his head was chanting "Fuck him! Ravish him! Fuck him into the couch cushions!"
Still, as much as he wanted to obey the commands of the voice in his head Netherlands knew he could not touch Sealand until he was certain that Sweden and Finland would not return anytime soon. It was maddening sitting next to the cute, blonde, lithe, 12 year old nymph aroused as hell and not being able to fuck him just yet. It was like sitting at the dinner table where all your favorite foods were set out, just waiting to be eaten, and you are just so hungry and willing to sink your teeth into the delicacies sitting before you but you must wait until everyone arrives before you can indulge in the feast. Lars prayed for a sign to tell him it was ok for him to finally to claim the boy's virginity.
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That is soo creepy! I need a bath just reading that... so apparently The Netherlands is going to wait until he can't get caught before he rapes Sealand.! How can Peter sit next to this guy and watch t.v., withing out noticing the obvious Pedobear vibes he's emitting?Anyways Rapey Mcpedobear er.. I mean The Netherlands gets a call from Finland saying he and Sweden have arrived at the hotel, meaning, that The Netherlands can finally have his way with poor Sealand. He asks Sealand this question:
"So? What do you want to do next?" Sealand asked Netherlands.
A dark smile formed on his face. "I'm glad you asked me that Peter, I was thinking we can play a little game."
"oh really what kind of game?" Peter asked curiously.
"Well, I was thinking we could play a game called "Suck my cock"." Lars suggested to Peter gesturing to the large bulge in his pants.
Peter's eyes widened in shock. He was taken aback at what he just heard "What did you say?" Peter asked in an incredulous voice.
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I'm with you Sealand! Did he seriously just ask him that? Not one for subtly, are we Netherlands? Peter's reaction is I think pretty accurate for a normal 12 year old kid, who was just propositioned for sex:
Sealand looked at his babysitter as if he had suddenly grown extra limbs. The young micro nation jumped off the couch and backed away from the Dutch nation.
"Forget it that's disgusting! There's no way I'm going to that!" Sealand informed Netherlands a look of sheer disgust on his face.
"Oh you want to bet?" Lars challenged the young boy in an amused voice.
Peter glared at the elder nation. "There's no way in hell I'm going to suck your dick! In fact, I'm going to call my parents and tell them what you're trying to do! You're dead meat you sicko!" Sealand told sneered at Netherlands.
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That's telling the pedo Peter. Then we have this exchange:
He reached into his pants pocket to retrieve his phone only to find it wasn't there. Panicking he felt around in his other pockets only to turn up nothing.
"Looking for this?" Netherlands asked in a devious tone holding up the young nation's cell phone. Sealand looked at him in horror.[quote]
Okay, how in the hell did he get Sealand's cellphone? We never know, The Netherlands gloats about taking it and puts it out of reach, Sealand runs away from him and hides from The Netherlands in Sweden's workshop. I'm not victim blaming here, but wouldn't it have been better if the kid escaped from the house and got a neighbor to call the cops? Well, in a normal situation, that would happen but then we get this:
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- Meanwhile, Sealand was hiding in the large work cabinet in Sweden's workshop. He was frightened out of his mind, desperately trying to find away to escape the awful freak who wished to use him. So he sat in the cabinet, praying Netherlands wouldn't discover him, when to his horror the Dutch nation walked into the workshop.
'Go away go away! I don't want to be raped!' Sealand thought to himself fearfully. Suddenly, Peter felt a sneeze coming on!
'Oh no! If he hears me I'm screwed!' The young micro nation thought. He put his finger up to his nostrils to prevent himself from sneezing but it did him no good!
"Ah ah, AHCHOO!" Sealand sneezed loudly.
Hearing the sneeze from the cabinet Netherlands walked up to it quickly and flung open the doors, smiling in victory as he saw Seland crouched in the cabinet.
"Aha there you are! I've got you know!" Netherlands cried triumphantly as he picked up Sealand and carried the struggling boy to the living room.
My god, did that just seriously happen? That scene was like some dumb horror movie! So cliched! So, then The Netherlands threatens to kill his loved ones if he doesn't give him a b low job and he nearly kills the family dog Hanatamago, which gets Poor Sealand to do as The Netherlands wants. Here comes the awful rape scene for those of you with weak stomachs TURN BACK NOW!!!:
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- He undid his pants his aching erection sprung out from the confines of his pants. Netherland's dick was at least 10 inches long and 3 inches wide with precum leaking from it glisteing in the lamplight like fresh dew in the dawn's golden light.
This guy's penis is 10 inches long and 3 inches wide?!?!
Holy SHIT!!! That is ridiculously huge!! Try to in vision having to suck on that thing! It would break your jaw!! So then we have this:
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- Sealand slowly dropped to his knees and grasped the hardened length, tracing it slowly with the tip of his tongue from base to the mushroom head which was wet with precum.
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Mushroom head? Okay that is like, the third food reference made in this story! Was the atuhor hungry when he or she wrote this thing? Then we get to this:
Suddenly Peter felt the erection stiffen in his mouth. Lars saw white as he burst into Sealand's mouth. He let out a loud moan as wave after wave of semen flooded the boy's mouth.
"Swallow it you slut, that's your dinner for tonight." Netherlands told Sealand as bursts of pleasure wracked through his body as he continued to come in the boys mouth.
Sealand began to swallow the bitter substance down in audible gulps, the amount of seed pouring into his mouth seemed endless! Peter's poor atomache began to hurt from all the creamy seed that poured into his mouth. Finally, what seemed like an eternity, Netherlands finally stopped cumming into the boys mouth. He pulled his erection out of the miserable boy's mouth and stood up. Sealand soon started gasping for air, wincing at the awful taste in his mouth due to Netherland's semen. - Quote :
So, The Netherlands has creamy seed! That makes me think of some horrible salad dressing, and also, the guy can cum in bucket loads? Nope! Don't buy it! I'm so calling horseshit on that! No one can ejaculate so much a person would get a stomachache from swallowing the semen! No human male can produce more then a tablespoon of semen at the most, and I don't care if he is a nation, penises do not work that way! The penis is not a fire hose! Then we get to the forced anal sex scene:
he pried the micro nations sweet chheks apart revaling his sweet pink rosebud to him.
Ugh! What is with all the purple prose?
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- Lars proceeded to slam into the micro nation's tight ass as fast and as hard as he could, moaning and screaming in sheer pleasure as Peter's tight walls caressed his dick.
An ass cannot caress one's dick! Also, I'm assuming 'Lars' refers to The Netherlands it seems to be a fannon human name among the fandom.
Lastly we get this paragraph:
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- Netherlands watched ain wonder as blood and cum poured out of the boy's ravished pucker a lovely mixture of white and crimson mingling together on the boy's thighs like strawberries and cream.
YUCK!! That is soo gross! Well, I'm certainly not going to eat one of those strawberry shortcakes my grandma made and sent us over now! So, the story ends for now after The Netherlands gets another call from Finland checking up on them and asks to speak to Sealand. The Netherlands tells him to lie to Finland and not tell him he's been brutally raped or else he'll kill his folks, and poor Sealand scared out of his mind dose so.
My god this story is horrible! I'm not bothered so much by the fact that it's a rape fic, and trust me it bothers me as it is the way the author treats it! She/He wrote this like a cheap, tasteless porno, she/he actually sexualized the rape instead of treating it like the awful act that it is! The worst part is that she has two other stories just like it! Also, this person's grasp on grammar and spelling is just plain bad! I am by no means an English major, but she made so many mistakes that an English teacher would go out of their mind trying to fix this cluster fuck! Also, don't ask me why she made The Netherlands a creepy rapist! I may not know much about him seeing how he's not been in the manga or anime much, but one thing I do know is that The Netherlands is NOT pedobear in disguise! Why did he just have to rape poor little Sealand? The poor little guy doesn't deserve that!The person who wrote this disturbing trainwreck of a story needs to be found and shot! There is not enough brain bleach, or liquor in this world to erase this literary atrocity from my brain! I'm going to go get something to eat and go cuddle my niece and nephews and shoot any freak who tries to do anything to them.