Bits of Game Information: A Saria Story

While it's not nearly as lengthy or as kinky as "My Inner Life", this is another sweet little morsel of lulz from the Zelda fandom created by a very lonely man-type thing that once lurked in the depths of the now-defunct Sakura Lemon Archive. While that site is long gone, the original masterpiece survives in cached form, festive green undies and all.

Quote :

One day in the temple of sages in the land of hyrule, Saria, the sage of
the forest, could hear someone call out to her...She wasn't sure who it was
or where it was coming from. She decided to ask Zelda, the sage of time.
"Zelda?" She asked.
"Yes, Saria."
"I am hearing a voice in my head that I do not know...it's like calling
out to me, wanting me near. I do not know whether to embrace this voice or
just let it pass...what do you think I should do?"

"Ah," Zelda replied pensively, her eyes darting in different directions. After a brief pause, she rushed to a nearby closet and pulled out a clean white jacket with unusually long sleeves. "Here," she said to Saria, "this will protect you from the evil spirits while I talk to some nice men down in the dungeons."

Quote :

"Saria, I have a way we can find out about the voice you are hearing."

"Tell me more about your childhood, Saria."

Quote :

"Oh, Saria," the voice said "Please just take me away from this pain."
Saria began to cry at the scene. "You really want to help him with his
pain, don't you?" Zelda asked.

Saria looked up from her bucket of popcorn, having seated herself comfortably into her Kokiri lawnchair. "What, and keep him from finishing his Linkin Park songfic for Link? Hell naw!"

Quote :

"It really is you," as he looked at her, he began to notice more and more
how much she resembeled Saria..."You ARE Saria...but how did you come to be
alive...you're just bits of game information on my Zelda: Orcarina of Time
Game for the Nintendo 64."

"It's like... like my Nintendo64 words are warping the very fields of Nintendo64 reality itself! Why, Nintendo64 I could create my own Nintendo64 Hyrule and Nintendo64 place it firmly under my own Nintendo64 thumb!"

Quote :

"Of course, my love," Saria smiled and stood up and took her skirt down
her legs, reveavealing green panties she wore, that was the same color as the
rest of her clothes. then she slid down her panties, she kissed him on the
lips, frenching him...she wanted nothing more than to be there with him for
all time...and she knew that she could...because of what zelda had told her,
she slid her panties down, and was completly naked for him....she didn't
care...she wanted him to be happy and by the way he looked he was...she toook
his right hand and placed it on one of her breasts. "Chris, please don't be
afraid, honey...I have never wanted anything more in my life."

"That's pretty freakin' sweet... wait, were you wearing two panties?"

For extra fun, here's a delightful Flash adaptation (NWS). Show it to your family and friends.