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 O Fortuna

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Nin

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Join date : 2014-01-06
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PostSubject: O Fortuna   Sat Jan 25, 2014 2:21 am

If you like roleplaying within the Homestuck fandom as I do, you probably at least heard about Trollplay. It was basically Omegle, but for Homestuck roleplaying. It shut down sometime last year, but recently a new site has launched that more or less fills the void wherein Trollplay once existed. There, you are presented with a number of prompts which you may respond to as any character you like. Unfortunately, due to the sort of audience attracted to this kind of site, you get mostly terrible, awful, really bad and barely cohesive dom/sub smut prompts.

I've started collecting them, because I hate myself.  Today's wretched offering can be found here: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Quote :
[[NSFW. Mythostuck/ Fantasystuck. You can play as a god or a mortal, but if you’re a god please make their name related to their main aspect with the Homestuck character you’re playing in parentheses ex: Fortuna(Roxy). I’m fine with any kinks, no matter how weird or out there they are EXCEPT for death, dismemberment or graphic violence. Prefer Females/Futa]]

This seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through just to get some cybertang.

Quote :
The land of Skia was a very prosperous country, which was believed to be mostly due to the gods that the people there worshiped.

Already we see mispellings of canon things. At least this opening line is exciting to make up for it!

Quote :
The Skian pantheon was unique, in that they appeared in the mortal world, and directly intervened with the course of the world. They were mostly hermaphroditic, though there were exceptions, and for the most part they were represented as women, both in myths and when they manifested as avatars.

Such a rich and fascinating culture. Shame it's only there to make us think that this isn't somehow just a big ol' jerk-fest.

Quote :
One such goddess was Fortuna(Roxy), who was the goddess of chance, though strangely she was also goddess of beauty and innocence.

How is that strange? In the comic, Roxy actually is fairly attractive and not really all that treacherous. Maybe they're just setting us up for her inevitable humiliation.

Quote :
Her skin was pale as snow and as soft rabbit’s fur, though she was devoid of any hair except on her head, her armpits, and her groin. Her face was impossibly cute, with big pink and gold eyes that seemed to look at everything with a childlike sense of wonder.

Translation: She had a nice complexion, normal body hair plus shaved legs. She was also a cute blond with pink eyes and she was usually described in a manner which was more than a little skeevy and unpleasant.

Quote :
The long flowing lock of her curly hair, that flowed down to her lower back were as bright as the sun’s rays, shimmering with light even in complete darkness.

Translation: Her hair glowed.

Quote :
Her chest was massive, though they were also pert with only a bit of sag too them, and while very large, they won’t so large that she looked completely ridiculous.

I don't believe that for a gosh-danged second.
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Summercorn
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PostSubject: Re: O Fortuna   Tue Feb 04, 2014 5:08 am

If her hair is really as bright as the sun's rays, it would blind someone to look at her, so the rest of her description is a bit void.

Where can I get some 'sag too' for my massive chest? Sounds lovely. Personally, I don't see how someone beautiful, with pert, massive tits could be the godess of innocence for long, but then again, if she blinds any possible admirers with her hair, maybe that keeps her 'pure'.
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ViewSonic
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PostSubject: Re: O Fortuna   Wed Feb 05, 2014 1:23 pm

I think the author is saying her breasts are part of the Screen Actor's Guild.
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Nin

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PostSubject: Re: O Fortuna   Wed Feb 05, 2014 9:25 pm

Quote :
Her Areolae were quite large, even in proportion to the size of her breasts, two pink circles with inverted nipples marking the bulls-eye.

What the fuck even does bulls-eye have to do with breasts?


Quote :
Her rear was divine as well, jiggling and bouncing with every movement she made, exposing a tight little asshole between her crack for but a second.

Why just for a second? Did her asshole disappear upon realizing it could be seen?

Quote :
In front was a tight, virgin looking pussy, topped by a clit with a piercing which a coin dangled from.

Just in case someone needed change for the bus, I guess.

Quote :
Her pubic hair was shaved to form the word slave in the language of the gods, similarly she had tattooed “Plaything of the spider.” In cerulean in a circle on her stomach, and “Beloved Daughter” in jade and purple on her back in two vertical lines.

... H-Homestuck reference? *stares in frightened confusion*


Quote :
The reason for the branded text marring her body relates to the myth of stolen luck.

And now we descend into the inane mythology of this fakeass masturbation fantasy.

Quote :
Before the birth of Fortuna there was no such thing as chance, only outcomes, which were dictated by Corruption, The Spider Queen.

This sounds like the babbling of someone who drank too much saltwater and is currently trying to rationalize their current misfortune.


Quote :
Once Fortuna had grown into a young woman and came into her power and aspects, she was beloved by all, in fact there were very few gods who didn't have a story that involved having sex with her, but Corruption didn't want a single story, so using her powers of outcome, which governed over chance she tricked the girl into becoming her slave, hiding her away in her palace of dread and despair, where few gods dare to tread save the two queens, Destiny and Romance for even Corruption could not refuse her queens access to their daughter, both in terms of interaction and intercourse, leading to the binding of blood with her mothers and her mistress, which created her brands.

Despite the plethora of fuckery displayed in this godawful thing, all I can think of is how it's a run-on sentence. P.S. Why would 'romance' and 'destiny' be more powerful than corruption? Last I checked, corrupt people don't hold much stock in either.

Quote :
At the very least that was the stories the mortals told, and none of the divine players involved really talked about it to their worshipers, so how much was fact and how much was fiction was unknown.

Not unlike whether or not this is an RP prompt or just some kind of weird onanistic checklist.

Quote :
And so she sat bored and half asleep, teetering between her avatar and her true body, her body stuck within the palace, and her avatar in her temple, which lay deep, deep below the capital city of Skaia, even deeper than the sewers and dungeons, her temple built like an altar within her mistress’s, her attendants consisting of sacrifices of young girls who were used to sate the lusts of the Drider guards to her prison rather than actually attend to her avatar.

See, this is what cements this as a terrible prompt. How the fuck is someone supposed to meet 'Fortuna' if they get destroyed by driders before they can reach her? Bitch, do you think I have enough time or basic interest to write a four thousand page novel in order to explain how they got in? And how does this even relate to the canon Roxy? This is way too much work for smut.
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: O Fortuna   Thu Feb 06, 2014 9:41 am

Hahaha what the fuck man. What defines a "virgin looking pussy"????
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Summercorn
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PostSubject: Re: O Fortuna   Fri Feb 07, 2014 5:22 am

Richard Branson's cat?

  

I've never seen a fiction where someone had a thing for inverted nipples. Weird. Unless he figures an inverted belly-button sticks out so nipples that stick out are inverted?
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