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 Hit Girl Abused (NWS)

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Lord British Stereotype



Join date : 2013-09-09

PostSubject: Hit Girl Abused (NWS)   Sun Sep 22, 2013 1:33 pm

For my introductory post, I present you with this abomination  courtesy of one Sniperx15 on the infamous den of iniquity known as fanfiction.net. he's already done pretty much this exact same story worded slightly differently, but apparently, he felt the need to subject us to it once again.


ffers generally aren't very critical, so if you get no reviews on your story that usually means;

a) Your story sucks.
b)Therapy. You need it.


I Believe this falls into the latter category.


Quote :
Hit Girl sprinted across the warehouse. With both of her handguns blazing, she was unstoppable. She pulled headshot after headshot; the henchmen attempted to return fire but they were absolutely no match.

Hit Girl was a young girl with a black face mask; she had a bob cut of purple hair. The most noticeable feature of her face were her long nose and thick pretty lips. She wore a leather top, a checkered mini-skirt, black pants and boots.
Yeah, when you read fanfiction it generally means you've viewed the work in question, we don't need a randomly inserted and clunky description in the middle of the action.

Quote :

It's too bad Dave can't be here to save the fun. He's on holiday.
What?

Quote :

Finally, the superheroine stopped to reload her handguns. The entire floor of the room was littered with dead mercs. Then she heard someone move behind her.

Calmly, she turned around: it was Red Mist. The costumed supervillain wore a red and black costume.
costumed supervillain wore a red and black costume


Really? Did he? I can't believe a costumed supervillain would wear *gasp* a COSTUME!.

Quote :

''Red… Red Mist?'' she said. ''You're behind this?''

''Of course Hit Girl,'' he replied lazily. ''It was a trap all along. And now at last I'll have my revenge against you… revenge… for what you did to my father.''
Original

Quote :

In reply to this, Hit Girl laughed.

''What's so funny?''

''You're such a douche Red Mist. You can't fight worth a damn…''

Red Mist said nothing; instead, an insolent smile crept across his face. For some reason this unnerved Hit Girl a little.

Something was wrong. They were face to face, all of Red Mist's henchmen had been killed, and yet he seemed so confident. Something was way out of place. This wasn't his style; he was supposed to be a pussy who relied on his guards.

''How about this Hit Girl?'' he said at length. ''Why don't we fight without our guns. Prove who's the better fighter?''

Upon hearing this, Hit Girl couldn't help but burst out laughing again. Seriously? Without his guns, Red Mist was a completely useless fuck. She just couldn't stop laughing.

''You done yet?'' Red Mist was frowning.

''O… ok,'' Hit Girl was catching her breath. ''Alright… if that's how you want to play.''

She threw her handguns to the side and moved into a combat-ready posture. Her gloved hands were balled into fists and her teeth were bared.

''You ready Hit Girl?''

''Whenever you are.''

Red Mist attacked.

He was fast… in fact he was so fast he seemed a complete blur to her. Before Hit Girl realized what had happened he had punched her in the face. He followed this up with another jump kick that sent her reeling back.

Hit Girl recovered quickly and got ready to fight again. How did he move so fast?
Don't put question marks in your narrative, ever.

Quote :

Now she attacked. She aimed a punch but Red Mist effortlessly moved to the side and dodged. In her frustration, she started to punch and kick all over the place.
Because that's what martial arts experts do when met with an equal or superior in combat. Punch and kick all over the place.

Quote :

Red Mist effortlessly dodged everything, almost completely toying with her.
Ah. Almost completely toying with her, he's mostly toying with her, but he's not totally toying with her.

Quote :

Once or twice some of her blows came really close to hitting him but at the last second he dodged.

She realized that Red Mist wasn't attacking her. Maybe if she got him to attack, she could turn this around.

''Come on Red Mist?'' she taunted him as she continued to punch and kick. ''I know you're not too proud to hit a girl.''

Well, you're right about that, thought Red Mist.

THUMP!

Hit Girl gasped with pain as Red Mist suddenly punched in the gut… hard.

Clutching at her chest in pain, the superheroine fell to her knees. Her teeth were bared as she realized the shock of the punch was such that right now she couldn't move.

Red Mist stood over her and smacked her twice across her face. A cry of pain escaped from Hit Girl.

Determined not to give up, Hit Girl got up again and aimed a punch. Red Mist grabbed her hand and effortlessly stopped her hand.

Hit Girl growled and struggled with all of her might to punch but Red Mist casually held her fist in place.

''Hit Girl,'' said Red Mist. ''In case you are wondering, I bought myself some REAL superpowers. This is why I am beating you right now. I have real super powers now.''
What.


Congratulations, you just destroyed the entire point of Kick-Ass.


And I love how he explains everything and then restates that he has superpowers, because apparently Hit-Girl, and therefore the readers can't make inferences.


"That is why I am beating you right now. I Have real superpowers".

Quote :

THUMP!

Another hit to Hit Girl's chest. In frustration and agony, she fell unto her knees again, clutching her chest. She couldn't believe this was happening. She expected Red Mist to strike her again but instead, he turned his back on her and began to walk away.

''You know Hit Girl,'' he said with his back to her. ''I expected you to be a real challenge. Now I am just disappointed. You're not worth my time. It wouldn't fair to continue this fight.''

This insult was just too much for her. Screaming with power and fury, Hit Girl got up again and went on the attack; Red Mist's response was bang on cue.
What?

Quote :

She punched and kicked with all of her might, determined to get at least one hit. To her frustration, Red Mist once again dodged everything with no effort. Her training and martial prowess were failing her, she couldn't even get a single hit.

It went on for what seemed like minutes. She was tiring herself out uselessly as she continued to try and hit him. Red Mist was enjoying this; he was having a great deal of fun.

Then he attacked. He punched her in the face. Then he kicked her in the stomach.

As Hit Girl doubled over in pain; Red Mist walked over and smacked her twice across the face. Then her entire form was grabbed and she was thrown across the room.

Her body smashed against a wall. There was a loud crack as part of the wall crumbled before she landed. Hit Girl got up but Red Mist was attacking again. He hit her over and over again, throughout her face and chest; her entire form was shaking with pain.

To finish off, he aimed a jump kick… it got her right under her chin.

Hit Girl flew up into the air with her chin in the air before falling over and landing on her back. Her teeth were bared as she struggled to recover from this massive beating.

Red Mist admired her fallen form. He had been planning his revenge for so long. At last he was defeating her.

''Just… just kill me already you cunt!'' she managed. Her teeth were bared, she realized she had lost.

''Kill you?'' Red Mist replied. ''No Hit Girl, I am not going to kill you. I am going to ruin you.''

Hit Girl was confused. Ruin me? What does that mean?

Red Mist grabbed her by one of her boots. Pulling her leg sideways, he dragged the defeated superheroine across the floor of the warehouse; Hit Girl let out a brief cry of shock.

He dragged her with great ease into another room. Hit Girl's eyes were wide open with shock as she saw a bed in the corner. NO!

Red Mist bent down and lifted her up, forcing her to stand. She was so weak she could barely manage even that.

''Hit Girl,'' he said to her shocked face. ''I am going to fuck you. I am going to have my way with every part of your body.''
Thank you, I could not have inferred this was were your terrible story was going without you, or rather Red-Mist, directly telling me.

Quote :

Another punch to her chest. Hit Girl was once again forced to grab her chest. Red Mist turned her around and shoved her towards the bed. Using a hand, he pushed her back down against the bed. She now stood in the shape of an L over the bed.
You could have just said "bent over", but no, that wouldn't have been stupid enough.

Quote :

Red Mist pulled out two pair of handcuffs. With the speed of a professional, he secured them.
A Professional what? Rapist? Handcufferer?

Quote :

CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!

Hit Girl's hands were now cuffed behind her purple hair in a very awkward and uncomfortable box formation. Her left wrist was cuffed to her right elbow; her right wrist was cuffed to her left elbow!

As she struggled to move her trapped arms; Red Mist took out a third pair of cuffs and bent down to get her legs.

CLICK!

Now her legs were also cuffed together too, just above the length of her boots.
This stupid story is very stupid.

Quote :

For the first time in her life, Hit Girl actually felt a raw flash of fear. She realized she was completely vulnerable. Panic spread through her as she attempted to move her arms and legs but the cuffs were secure. She was trapped!
You would think that would've happened when Christopher Mintz-Plasse beat her up and announced his rapey intentions five minutes ago.

Quote :

While keeping a hand on her back, Red Mist moved his other hand to unclip her belt. Hit Girl stopped struggling for a second as she realized he had just removed her belt. Red Mist grabbed the top of her miniskirt and pants and pulled them down!

Now they were all the way down to the level of the cuffs around her legs and prevented her from kicking. Involuntarily, Hit Girl felt her entire form blush with embarrassment. Red Mist was staring straight at the rear of her panties!

She tried to get up briefly but Red Mist kept her in place with the one hand on her back.

Then it began…
Here's where it gets good awful.

Quote :

With painful slowness, Red Mist grabbed her panties and pulled them downwards. Inch by inch, Hit Girl's ass was revealed.

She wanted to maintain as much dignity as it was possible in this situation. She stopped struggling; instead, she was baring her teeth so hard they were threatening to break.

At last, Red Mist was staring into Hit Girl's beautifully bulbous ass cheeks.

Into?!, You don't stare INTO ass cheeks, you stare INTO eyes, you stare AT ass cheeks.

Quote :

He took a few seconds just to admire the form. Her ass cheeks were firm and athletic and yet they maintained a luscious feminine curve; they were slightly paler than the rest of her body.

Hit Girl could feel her entire face burning… her hands were balled into fists and she struggled to keep herself from trembling.

Then he ran a hand across it. Hit Girl vowed not to make a sound or move, not to give him any satisfaction. However, Red Mist was thoroughly enjoying himself as he touched, rubbed, smeared, felt, and fingered her ass as he pleased. Over the next few seconds, the surface of her entire ass was caressed by his fingers.
There is a lot of redundancy in this redundant story.

Quote :

Once or twice, he even ran his hand through the cracks of her ass; the first time he did this her muscles tensed at this new violation.
That's cracks people, plural.

Quote :

Red Mist decided it was time to ramp this up.

It happened suddenly and violently.
There's not many other ways you can forcefully smack a rape victim on the ass.


Quote :

SMACK!

''OOOOOOOOWWWWWW!''

The cry of pain and humiliation escaped from her as he spanked her on her butt cheeks.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

Hit Girl screamed and screamed as he smacked her repeatedly on her buttocks. She knew it was giving him satisfaction but she couldn't help herself. She couldn't believe this was happening to her. The pain was so intense but the humiliation was much worse.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

''OW! PLEASE! STOP! OWW! OWWWWW!''

It went on for minutes. Hit Girl struggled to get up or break the cuffs but it was useless. With a single hand, he kept her in her place as he used his other hand to smack her ass. Hit Girl had been reduced to a punished naughty girl.
Oh my....

Quote :

''NOOOO! OWWWWWW!''

By the time Red Mist was done, the entire surface of her ass was covered with red slap marks. Roughly, Red Mist pulled her knickers back up to cover her ass. Then he allowed her to stand up. Grabbing her roughly by her hips, he turned her around so she stood facing him.
Knickers. That is all.

Quote :


Hit Girl looked ridiculous with her hands still cuffed behind her hair. Her eyes were wide with shock and her mouth hung wide open.

''How did you like that eh bitch?''

WHAM!

Another punch on her chest. Hit Girl gasped with pain and was completely immobilized. Red Mist pushed her down on the bed; now she lay on her back with her boots dangling over the edge.

Red Mist got to work.

While she lay in pain, he un-cuffed her legs. He yanked off her boots and pulled off her black socks; making her bare feet. Grabbing her skirt and her pants around her ankle, he pulled them over her feet and threw them off. Now she was completely exposed from waist down except for her panties.
This guy needs some serious grammar lessons, as well as lessons in sentence structure.


Quote :

CLICK!

Her ankles were coughed together again.
Coughed together,

Quote :

He got on top of the bed and pinned her down; he looked into her shocked face. Realizing she was powerless, Hit Girl began to cuss and swear at him.
I Think you've had her realize that a couple different times by now.

Quote :

''You fucking perv! STOP THIS! I'll fucking kill you you motherfucking-''

Red Mist ignored her and grabbed the folds of her leather jacket. Hit Girl's green eyes were wide open as she realized where this was going.

''What… WHAT do you think you're doing?! NO!''

The handcuffs jingled as she struggled to break out and her body shook as she attempted to dislodge him, but it was all useless. Grinning, Red Mist started to roll up her jacket… her body was slowly being revealed as she wore nothing under her costume. Inch by inch her jacket was being rolled up
I'm not going to mention the redundancy again, this reminds of those kids books where a sentence or phrase is repeated over and over to really drill it into their heads.

Quote :

Hit Girl knew the moment was near… her eyes were wide with anger and desperation as she intensified her efforts… but it was to no avail.

Her mouth was wide open and she stopped moving. Now Red Mist was staring right at the superheroine's exposed tits. They were large enough that her jacket could be rolled and brunched up just above their forms. Once again, Hit Girl felt her entire face blush…

''One more thing,'' said Red Mist.

Getting up just a little, he moved a hand and ripped off her panties…

''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!'' A scream of frustration escaped from her as her womanhood was exposed too.

Now she was completely naked under him from tits down…
Stop ending you sentences like this....

Quote :

''I've been waiting so long for this…'' said Red Mist.

Burning with lust, he moved to unbuckle his pants. Hit Girl renewed her efforts to break free; her teeth were bared so hard they might break. This could not be happening to her… this MUST not happen to her!
This is probably like the sixth time you've described her bared teeth, do you jack off to the dental section of medical journals or something?

Quote :

Red Mist's cock was out…

''No…'' she muttered as she tried to look away. The handcuffs jingled even more intensely but she was held completely in place; Red Mist's body weight was too much.

''STOP THIS! NOOOO!''

Pulling her legs apart, Red Mist straddled himself between her. Grabbing her legs, he shoved them roughly on each side of his head… now they hung down from either side of his shoulders. Hit Girl tried to move frantically; her head bobbed all over the place.
I Admit that line made me laugh.

Quote :

''Hit Girl,'' he said her to as he adjusted his angle. ''You're mine.''

And with that, he grabbed her shoulders and rammed his cock into her pussy.

''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!''

Hit Girl was overwhelmed as she experienced what she thought she would never experience: herself getting violated.

Red Mist thrust in and out with extreme aggressiveness; her pussy was tight and wet. Hit Girl's entire form was shaken as he took her. Using her legs on either side of his head as levers, he drove himself deep into her.

Involuntarily, she felt herself scream as she was rocked. He was so deep inside that her vagina hurt.

Red Mist continued to fuck her. By now he had pushed forward so much that she was folded in half under him; her legs were stretched to the breaking point as they almost touched her shoulders.

Hit Girl felt herself getting ruined. Every thrust was destroying her. As a crime fighter the heroine had been prepared and ready to die at any minute… but this was worse than death… with every thrust Red Mist was destroying everything she stood for.

Red Mist continued to fuck her. His hands made sure to play, squeeze, and rub her tits a little. Hit Girl felt completely sick; she tried to look away.

''Look at me bitch,'' he said to her as he continued to ram her.

She refused to.

''LOOK AT ME!''

Grabbing one of her nipples, he squeezed… HARD.

''AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW!''
AWWWWWWWWW Yeah .     That's not how you write a scream.


Quote :

Her face contorted with pain and she capitulated. Her face full of resentment, she faced her rapist. Red Mist's sweat was dripping down and hitting her black face mask.

She knew he was going to climax into her… but there was nothing she could do about it.

Red Mist took in her pathetic form under him, enjoying the feel of her legs on either side of his face. Her exposed tits glistened with sweat with her costume brunched up above them. Hit Girl looked completely ridiculous with her hands cuffed behind her purple hair; her black mask glistened with sweat, her teeth were bared in frustration.
Okay, enough with the teeth baring, seriously.

Quote :

She was his…

Red Mist gasped with pleasure as he exploded inside her cunt. He pushed himself just a little bit more into her still as a rush of extreme ecstasy overcame his entire form. Hit Girl's legs were truly stretched to their breaking point as she was forced to endure his orgasm. A part of her had been destroyed... ruined…
He also seems to have some weird obsession with calling people's bodies forms...

Quote :

Red Mist closed his eyes to enjoy the final moments; then he collapsed on top her tits.

Several seconds passed. For Hit Girl it seemed like an eternity.

Finally, he got stood up and released her legs. Hit Girl felt a rush of relief as her legs were released from the tension.

Red Mist sat on the side of the bed. Hit Girl followed his example and sat up too. She looked ridiculous still with her costume brunched up above her tits and her hands cuffed up behind her hair in that box formation. She wondered what was going to happen now…
The third time you've mentioned how ridiculous she looks with her hands cuffed behind her hair and her costume "brunched up" above tits.
Yeah, he actually spelled it "brunched" twice, at first I thought it was a typo, but now I'm thinking he might think it's actually spelled that way.

Quote :

Red Mist turned around and released her from the handcuffs. Hit Girl felt a moment of relief as her arms were now free to move. Before she could react however, Red Mist had grabbed her jacket and pulled it over her face and arms… straight off. Now she was completely naked except for her gloves and her mask. Hit Girl barely had time to swing her strained arms around when suddenly Red Mist grabbed her and kissed her full on, straight at her full lips.

Hit Girl did not resist; she was beaten. For the next few seconds, he kissed her passionately as he fingered her neck. Finally, he released her. Hit Girl looked at Red Mist hatefully.
How do you finger a neck?, I'm genuinely interested in knowing.

Quote :

''Take off your gloves and you can go now… but you have to leave this room naked,'' he said lazily.

Hit Girl was not expecting this. ''W… what? You're… you'll let me go?''

''Yeah,'' replied Red Mist lazily. ''Go before I change my mind.''

''W… why?''

''Let's face the facts Hit Girl,'' he said casually. ''I've just had my way with you. No one can take you seriously now. You're a ruined superheroine. I'd rather let you live with all the shame then simply kill you. Now take off your gloves and get out of here. You have to leave this room COMPLETELY NAKED. No clothes.''
Okay, how is anyone going to find out about this anyway,  it's not like she's gonna run around telling people, and nobody's gonna believe when he says; "hey guize I raped hit-girl hurrr".

Quote :

Hit Girl felt deeply insulted… she considered attacking him again but she was exhausted and her arms and legs had been abused so much that they were barely able to move. Besides, she remembered her earlier performance against him. He was too strong now. She needed to go and she needed to follow his rules… for now. Red Mist's insolent smile infuriated her but she knew she had no choice. He had won for now.

Filled with frustration, she took off her purple gloves and threw them to the floor. She was now completely naked in front of him except for her mask. She resisted the urge to bend down and pick up her costume.

Turning around, she started to walk away slowly. She felt herself burn with shame at the realization that he was probably leering at her exposed rear… Her completely naked form was perfectly visible.

She had almost reached the exit when suddenly he heard a voice just behind her as a hand touched her.

''Hit Girl,'' he said. ''Just one more thing.''

And with that, he rammed his cock straight up her virgin ass.
No. You cannot just do that standing up, with no lube, in one thrust. It does. Not. Happen.

Quote :

''GIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!''
More of SniperX15's lovely scream souns.

Quote :

The heroine was completely overwhelmed by this final and ultimate violation. Extreme agony penetrated her ass.
Red Mist named his dick? Good to know.

Quote :

Hit Girl's toes curled as she involuntarily jumped into the air. Red Mist grabbed her in midair and thrust her back down… ramming her into his cock again.
What? Into, not onto, Into.


Quote :
''OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!''

She jumped again and again. Every single time she leapt, he grabbed her and rammed her back down. Effectively she was fucking herself on his cock. By the time she was done, he was fully inside her buttocks.
That's an admittedly hilarious image.

Quote :

Her ass was nice and tight. Red Mist grabbed her hips firmly as he continued to take her in her most private of areas. Hit Girl's teeth were clenched again. Instead of screaming, she now let out a series of loud grunts as he continued to fuck her. She tried her best not to cry out. For a girl as powerful and strong as her, taking it up the ass was a humiliation she could not endure.
Last time I mention the clenched teeth, though I'm sure it won't be for SniperX15.

Quote :

He turned her slightly so she could see a mirror. Hit Girl saw her ruined reflection: her completely naked form being taken from behind; sweat was glistening off her tits. She felt herself shaking with frustration, in her helplessness her hands were balled into fists and her teeth were clenched so hard they might break.
And suddenly there's a mirror.

Quote :

''Hit Girl,'' Red Mist said to her as he continued to fuck her. ''You're mine.''
Fourth time he's said that.

Quote :

Hit Girl was still shaking when Red Mist moved a hand from behind her to touch her tits again. She thought it couldn't happen… but it happened.

No…

She felt it stirring, a subconscious barrier had broken down. As Red Mist continued to rock her entire form from behind, she felt a new sensation taking over her. All of a sudden, she was feeling herself getting pleasured…

No… NOT BY HIM!

It was taking over her. She clenched her teeth harder still in an attempt to resist it but it was futile.
I'm sorry, I know I said I wouldn't mention the clenched teeth again, but this is literally like the eleventh time.

Quote :

NOT LIKE THIS!

A moan of pleasure suddenly escaped from Hit Girl's open mouth. Red Mist heard it, he grinned from behind her as he slowed down just slightly. Hit Girl felt herself blush as a second one escaped from her…

''No,'' she begged him. ''STOP THIS! PLEASE! AAAAAAAAH!''

She was forced to enjoy this. More moans of pleasure.

''NO… NO…. NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Her entire body shook from head to toe as a massive wave of ecstasy overwhelmed her. Her cunt exploded and the juices splashed the mirror as her entire form shook violently. Her mind counteracted with bitterness and frustration…
But..The mirror is in front of her..I Don't..this is the stupidest story.

Quote :

Having made her cum, Red Mist picked up his pace. Hit Girl couldn't believe what had just happened. Her teeth were clenched together once again and her hands balled in fists. She had lost her self-control…
Are you serious?!

Quote :

Having made her cum, it was his turn now.

Red Mist blew his second load… deep into her ass. Hit Girl felt sick as she felt his liquids rush into her bowels. She felt as though her entire body had been used as a human toilet. Red Mist's climax was even greater than the first. Hit Girl's degradation was complete. Red Mist stopped just briefly to enjoy the last of his orgasm.
Such lovely imagery.

Quote :

Red Mist and Hit Girl both panted with exhaustion; sweat was everywhere. Red Mist felt completely satisfied. Having used and abused her, he pulled out of her ass, grabbed her, and flung her away.

The ruined woman landed on all fours, like some kind of animal. Hit Girl shook from head to toe as her teeth were bared.

''Enjoyed our time together whore?'' he said to her.

Hit Girl shook with frustration; she had lost it all to him. She could still feel the strain in her pussy and some of his cum leaking out of her ass. She had lost it all to him. She found no words to break this awkward moment for her.
Brutal rape and humiliation, LOL, AWKWARD.

Quote :

Red Mist stood, grinning at her on all fours as she continued to shake. He had gotten his revenge. The eyes behind Hit Girl's mask tried to convey hate but they could not hide the feeling of loss and frustration…

''You'll never forget this day.'' He said to her.

And with that, he turned around and casually walked out of the place.

Once he had completely left
Completely left, not just almost completely left, completely left.

Quote :

, Hit Girl fell unto her knees and broke down into tears.
She's already on all fours how can she fall onto her knees?.



I Apologize for the low quality snark, but I'm still in need of practice, and I believe I am improving.
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Kakashifan727
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PostSubject: Re: Hit Girl Abused (NWS)   Mon Sep 23, 2013 8:08 am

This was good (the snark). The fic was boring as fuck though, and every time you brought up the clenched teeth I kept loling. This was just bad and the smut was dumb and ruined by the authors lack of knowledge and just stupid word choice. Not that I would have enjoyed it; I never like real rape scenarios.
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Sheba
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PostSubject: Re: Hit Girl Abused (NWS)   Mon Sep 23, 2013 12:55 pm

When you stare into the ass, the ass stares also back into you. And then....you become the ass.
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PostSubject: Re: Hit Girl Abused (NWS)   Mon Sep 23, 2013 1:11 pm

Sheba wrote:
When you stare into the ass, the ass stares also back into you. And then....you become the ass.
THEN I SHALL BECOME... ARSEFACE!
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PostSubject: Re: Hit Girl Abused (NWS)   Mon Sep 23, 2013 3:57 pm

Then are you going to date Shuu or Ryouta-kun?
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PostSubject: Re: Hit Girl Abused (NWS)   Tue Sep 24, 2013 2:03 am

Knorg wrote:
Sheba wrote:
When you stare into the ass, the ass stares also back into you. And then....you become the ass.
THEN I SHALL BECOME... ARSEFACE!
"Hey Butt-head, isn't that your British name"

"hehehehehehheheh"
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PostSubject: Re: Hit Girl Abused (NWS)   Wed Oct 09, 2013 10:05 pm

Great snark! It really made me laugh!
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PostSubject: Re: Hit Girl Abused (NWS)   Tue Nov 19, 2013 1:12 pm

It's Kick-Ass, the fic's subject matter is at least keeping true to the source material.
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PostSubject: Re: Hit Girl Abused (NWS)   Sun Dec 08, 2013 9:11 pm

Ok, this fic was terrible. Just, just, what? But the snark was good, I was laughing so bad my roommate got pissed of at me. It was fun to read, thanks for the snark.
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PostSubject: Re: Hit Girl Abused (NWS)   Tue Dec 10, 2013 3:37 am

Why would anyone write a rape fic that describes the event in such detail? Seriously, why? Most badly written stories like this tend to be the author living out their...no, that would just be wrong.
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PostSubject: Re: Hit Girl Abused (NWS)   Tue Dec 10, 2013 4:57 am

Cunovendus wrote:
Why would anyone write a rape fic that describes the event in such detail? Seriously, why? Most badly written stories like this tend to be the author living out their...no, that would just be wrong.

Because there are readers who want to read them. I have a story that predicated on a rape. I got an email from a reader that complained that I didn't go into graphic detail about said rape.   Took a long time after that before I could continue working on that story, I was that disgusted.
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PostSubject: Re: Hit Girl Abused (NWS)   Tue Dec 10, 2013 5:12 pm

True, but I would write a detailed one to show the truama and horror of bring raped. But that;s just me.
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Cunovendus
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Join date : 2011-01-11

PostSubject: Re: Hit Girl Abused (NWS)   Wed Dec 11, 2013 6:29 am

To show trauma, I can understand. But this seems to be written with the intention of being erotic. Maybe it's just me, but if I ever decided to do something like that (which is unlikely), I think I'd focus more on what the victim was feeling, rather than what the attacker was doing.

Although I could be just reading it wrong, and that was the author's intention - he just isn't very good at it.
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hottienanako20

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Join date : 2012-05-21
Age : 41
Location : I live in the US. Nanako lives in Kasukabe.

PostSubject: Re: Hit Girl Abused (NWS)   Wed May 27, 2015 8:11 pm

Sorry for bringing back an elderly thread, but, WHAT THE FUCK?! I just got around to watching this movie. She looks like she's 10, maybe 12. What a psycho. Who looks at a little kid and thinks, "Wow, that would make great rape fan fiction. "?!
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The Scientist
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Join date : 2010-10-05
Location : Under Strangeland's Iron Sea

PostSubject: Re: Hit Girl Abused (NWS)   Fri May 29, 2015 11:10 am

You would be amazed at how much Harry Potter fanfic-porn involving Emma Watson was out there when she was about eleven, back in the heyday of the early 2000s.

You would also be amazed at what happens when you google the name of the girl who played Lizzie in the Walking Dead. She is about twelve or thirteen, in case you're not familiar with the show or the character. Like, the third entry in the search bar or so is her name followed by "hot". That's not just trolls, that is people who actually and honestly thought the little girl was hot. My skin is crawling just from typing this little factoid. There are some screwed up puppies out there.

Screwed. Up. No
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Chris91
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Join date : 2009-06-13
Age : 50
Location : Salem, Mass., USA

PostSubject: Re: Hit Girl Abused (NWS)   Tue Jun 02, 2015 9:51 am

Lord British Stereotype wrote:


ffers generally aren't very critical, so if you get no reviews on your story that usually means;

a) Your story sucks.
b)Therapy. You need it.

Or c)the reader is in ICU recovering from a heart attack induced by the shock of experiencing so much literary fail in one sitting.
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