Why God, Why?


 
HomeHome  FAQFAQ  RegisterRegister  Log in  

Share | 
 

 50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Go to page : Previous  1, 2, 3
AuthorMessage
Cunovendus
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
avatar

Join date : 2011-01-11

PostSubject: Re: 50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie   Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:45 am

Wrong thread, but I'll answer your question: it's probably because Superman is much more well known than any of those. He's the one everybody thinks of when you say "Name a Marvel comics superhero!" - either him or Spiderman, but at least Spiderman can be killed by conventional means (bear in mind that I know next to nothing about superheroes because I'm really not a fan of the genre).

And I agree with Penguin etc...that script was awful. The original scripts weren't perfect ("she made the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs!", "But I was going to Tosche Station to get some power converters!"), but somehow, the films worked in spite of that.
Back to top Go down
Lady Anne
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-12
Age : 40
Location : The land of the fruits and nuts

PostSubject: Re: 50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie   Thu Jul 03, 2014 8:44 pm

Cunovendus wrote:
Wrong thread, but I'll answer your question: it's probably because Superman is much more well known than any of those. He's the one everybody thinks of when you say "Name a Marvel comics superhero!" - either him or Spiderman, but at least Spiderman can be killed by conventional means (bear in mind that I know next to nothing about superheroes because I'm really not a fan of the genre).

Superman is a DC Comics superhero.
Back to top Go down
http://www.angelfire.com/yt/anneblair/index.html
Mikey Go WOOGA
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-16
Age : 27
Location : In desperate pursuit of lulz.

PostSubject: Re: 50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie   Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:00 pm

Cunny wrote:
He's the one everybody thinks of when you say "Name a Marvel comics superhero!" - either him or Spiderman, but at least Spiderman can be killed by conventional means (bear in mind that I know next to nothing about superheroes because I'm really not a fan of the genre).

You don't say.

ERL wrote:
Martian Manhunter has every power Superman has, plus shapeshifting, telepathy and matter transmutation.

I wasn't aware he had heat vision, x-ray vision, and ice breath because of lazy bullshit writing.

Quote :
Green Lantern can do most of the things Superman can, and also recreate any plot-solving device limited only by his imagination. The ring can also emit Kryptonite-like radiation, and Hal Jordan actually tried to kill Superman this way once.

Also limited by his courage. And by the color yellow.

Also, Hal Jordan can't survive absolutely every encounter because LOLOLOLOLOLOL like Superman can. We know this because Hal Jordan died. No threat to Superman has ever felt believable. He's like John Cena of the past 8 years.

Quote :
The Flash could defeat most JLA villains by himself if he bothered to use his powers with a modicum of intelligence. He can run as fast as the plot demands, punch people with an infinite mass fist, turn enemies into functional statues, pass through objects, turn himself intangible, travel through time, and much, much more.

Many of those flow naturally from "Speed Force." Well, he can run STUPID fast because of this Magical Thing that has been established in universe, we can assume it gives him required secondary powers of friction ignorance and ultimate reflexes because nothing works without those. That + Physics = Infinite Mass Punch. Everyone looks like a statue when you're moving at .9c and have the reflexes to move at .9c without running into stuff.

Superman has many powers totally unrelated to each other because lol. Incredible strength and nigh invincibility would be enough to make an interesting super hero. Flight isn't too game breaking. Speed flows from strength, so fine. X-Ray vision? What? Oh, and heat vision because why not? How does he activate these, how does he switch between them, how does his frost breath (more bullshit) not freeze Lois Lane's tongue off?

I bet his farts smell like sunshine and lemon pledge too, because yellow sunlight has that effect on Kryptonians. I mean, listen to this shit from the wikia:

Quote :
Superman can create hurricane force winds by blowing, and also chill his breath to freeze a target. He can also breathe in large amounts of air to dispel clouds of gas by exhaling it.

The strong wind stuff makes some sense as deriving from super strength. How the fuck is air in his lungs supercooled? Where does that heat go? Or does yellow light allow him to buttfuck thermodynamics too? For that matter, how does he inhale a shitton of air? Is there a black hole in his lungs, or is there some feature of Kryptonian physiology that actively sucks air into his lungs and compresses it? Because simply expanding your lungs with the muscles in your torso isn't going to make lungs work like a turbo motor.

Speaking of thermodynamics

Quote :
Superman can fire beams of intense heat from his eyes. These beams can be made invisible, allowing him to work undetected, and can be adjusted to affect matter on a microscopic level. Feats include powering up the giant ion planet moving engines, annihilating an army of Doomsday clones in one blast,[12] potentially rivaling the heat of a Star and bypassing a target's outer shell, avoiding damage to a person's skull for surgical purposes.

Heat doesn't work this way.

His main weakness is utter bullshit too. A planet many many lightyears away explodes because lol, large amounts of it don't land on earth. And it supposedly works by fucking with Kryptonian physiology, leaving everyone to wonder how the hell they lived on the planet in the first place.

Quote :
But the explosion of the planet caused it to become irradiated by-

Oh no it didn't. Superman is a contrived, extremely boring Marty Stu, even by comic book standards.

Quote :
Nobody ever complains these guys are too powerful, while Superman keeps being singled out. It's become a cliché at this point to just default to "Supes is too powerful nyah nyah" regardless of the facts.

Hal Jordan died. Barry Allen is dead. Clark Kent is still alive because LOL FUCK YOU HE JUST IS
Back to top Go down
Cunovendus
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
avatar

Join date : 2011-01-11

PostSubject: Re: 50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie   Fri Jul 04, 2014 3:06 am

Lady Anne wrote:

Superman is a DC Comics superhero.

Ha... like I said, I know nothing (Jon Snow) about the genre. Wink
Back to top Go down
Kari Izumi
Sporkbender
Sporkbender


Join date : 2009-07-07
Age : 31

PostSubject: Re: 50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie   Fri Jul 04, 2014 11:47 am

Penguin wrote:
Kari Izumi wrote:
My problem with 50 Shades was that is was soooooooooooo goddamn boring.

I'm not saying that wasn't a problem with the books, but

really?

To put it another way: Twilight was horrendous and has most of the same "man controlling a woman" shit in there...but there were also (albeit unintentional) nuggets of things that didn't suck, if you pardon the pun. Lauren and Rosalie snarking on Bella. Alice's existance. Jacob in the first book. Hell, the idea of vampires avoiding human blood for survival by itself could've been interesting in itself. And overall, it was just so much fun to snark on because that brand of stupid could be so bad it's almost good.

50 Shades, otoh, has no spark other than to be soccer mom wank fodder. No anything of value that could have been good, no break from the tedium of Ana and Christian. Even with Twilight, book 4 gave a much needed reprieve from Bella's inner thought and followed Jacob for a third of the book.

The criticism it gets is well earned, but if a book can't be good, it can at least entertain for snark fodder.
Back to top Go down
TheHedonist
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
avatar

Join date : 2009-10-26
Location : Госпоже Правой Ноге Аниной

PostSubject: Re: 50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie   Sun Jul 06, 2014 5:04 pm

Kari Izumi wrote:
Stuff
Also the first movie is actually pretty good, taken at face value. Like yeah it doesn't exist in a vacuum but separate from the rest of the franchise it's not a bad teen-supernatural-romance-whatever.
Back to top Go down
Reepicheep-chan
Important Person
Important Person
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 31
Location : IN A SEXY NEW CONDO

PostSubject: Re: 50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie   Wed Jul 09, 2014 10:47 am

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:
Martian Manhunter has every power Superman has, plus shapeshifting, telepathy and matter transmutation.
True but to be fair MM has never been depicted turning back time by flying around Earth really fast.

But yeah J'onn is one of those guys who is technically super powerful on paper but he is rarely shown bowling people the fuck over like you would imagine he ought to. Like he is either the Justice League's house momma or a detective with superpowers like only fighting street level crime even though he could be going toe-to-toe with Supes. I guess the general idea is Superman feels comfortable getting involved in Earth problems because he is an Earthing in every sense that actually matters while J'onn much more of an outsider? Or maybe it is just than no one gives a shit about J'onn, IDK.
Back to top Go down
1604127

avatar

Join date : 2013-03-31

PostSubject: Re: 50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie   Mon Jul 14, 2014 9:57 am

It's always exciting to go to the fifty shades of gray thread and see my-dad-can-beat-up-your dad superhero power squabbling.

Also, Superman would totally win. He has no defined power list, so writers can do whatever they like with him.
Back to top Go down
Lurv
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 27

PostSubject: Re: 50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie   Mon Jul 14, 2014 1:01 pm

1604127 wrote:
Also, Superman would totally win. He has no defined power list, so writers can do whatever they like with him.
I believe that's why some people have a problem with him, yes.
Back to top Go down
TheIan
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-12
Location : Dining car on the Train of Time, DenLiner

PostSubject: Re: 50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie   Tue Jul 15, 2014 9:46 am

Lurv wrote:
1604127 wrote:
Also, Superman would totally win. He has no defined power list, so writers can do whatever they like with him.
I believe that's why some people have a problem with him, yes.

After this video fans have been asswrecked at how it was "unfair" or "favoritism over facts" or "Boomstick is a faggot" (I might have made that last one up, Boomstick is hilarious). But the cases made for either side were pretty fair and the winner is rather justified. Frankly, I just loved the fact they got MasakoX to voice Goku for DBZAbridged goodness.
Back to top Go down
Mikey Go WOOGA
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-16
Age : 27
Location : In desperate pursuit of lulz.

PostSubject: Re: 50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie   Wed Jul 16, 2014 7:28 pm

^
I didn't actually watch the video.

Goku can Instant Transportation to some Kryptonite, Instant Transportation back, and kill Superman with it.

Except that wouldn't actually happen because the only power that matters (read: having the writers pulling Deus Ex Machinas (Machinae? Machinis? I don't know Latin plurals) out of their asses to save yours) would save Superman cuz lol.
Back to top Go down
Penguin
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
avatar

Join date : 2009-07-18
Location : Wild Gray Yonder

PostSubject: Re: 50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie   Wed Jul 16, 2014 10:39 pm

Cunovendus wrote:
And I agree with Penguin etc...that script was awful. The original scripts weren't perfect ("she made the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs!", "But I was going to Tosche Station to get some power converters!"), but somehow, the films worked in spite of that.

Because at no point did anyone make a heartfelt comparison between their love interest and sand.
Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:
^
I didn't actually watch the video.

Goku can Instant Transportation to some Kryptonite, Instant Transportation back, and kill Superman with it.

Except that wouldn't actually happen because the only power that matters (read: having the writers pulling Deus Ex Machinas (Machinae?  Machinis?  I don't know Latin plurals) out of their asses to save yours) would save Superman cuz lol. Goku's a no-kill bleeding heart dipshit.

FTFY

As a pair of superheroes who routinely get people killed because they're opposed to killing, Goku and Superman can have a friendly slugfest wank for eternity while the rest of the universe carries on just fine without either of them.
Back to top Go down
Mikey Go WOOGA
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-16
Age : 27
Location : In desperate pursuit of lulz.

PostSubject: Re: 50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie   Thu Jul 17, 2014 7:48 pm

^
I think Goku is less of a no-kill bleeding heart dipshit than Superman. Goku has actually killed when necessary. Him sparing Vegeta was less "OH NOES IT'S WRONG TO KILL" and more "I wanna fight s'more." He killed the first Piccolo, he had no problem letting the new Piccolo kill Raditz, he genuinely tried to kill Frieza at the end (who only survived because lolplot), and he killed Buu. I'm not counting the people he killed in GT because GT doesn't exist. Not to mention, everyone I can recall him sparing hasn't gone on to kill untold innocents (Vegeta only killed assholes after the fight with Goku, most of the Ginyu Force was killed by Vegeta shortly after Goku spared them, and Captain Ginyu was a frog). Compare this to Superman and Batman constantly not killing Lex Luthor or The Joker.
Back to top Go down
Penguin
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
avatar

Join date : 2009-07-18
Location : Wild Gray Yonder

PostSubject: Re: 50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie   Fri Jul 18, 2014 1:25 am

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:
^
I think Goku is less of a no-kill bleeding heart dipshit than Superman.  Goku has actually killed when necessary.

No, he fucking didn't. He only killed after absurd pacifist bar-raising would start to raise warning flags for Saint Pancake, even trying to spare a villain who had personally committed genocide of entire planets. Not even ordered it, personally did it.

Goku is such a hugaboo fucking moron that Supes would have no choice but to See the Good in Him and Goku would do likewise, so they'd have a friendly fight for eternity, like I said, while elswhere people step up to actually get their hands dirty and prevent entire inhabited planets of species from going extinct, because their survival doesn't depend on a Rogue's Gallery.

Everything else is fanwank.
Back to top Go down
Mikey Go WOOGA
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-16
Age : 27
Location : In desperate pursuit of lulz.

PostSubject: Re: 50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie   Tue Jul 22, 2014 1:11 am

At least he killed eventually. Besides the recent movie that had everyone shitting their pants, when has Superman ever grown a pair? And by the point Goku tried to let Freiza go, he had been cut in half and was a threat to exactly no one. At least until Plot demanded he become a cyborg. And that only happen after Goku legitimately tried to kill him AND Namek blew up in his face.

Though I think it would be obvious that Goku and Superman would never have any actual reason, in character, to fight to the death even if they weren't idiots.

I just wonder what happened to the Goku that had no problem killing Piccolo or Raditz.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: 50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie   

Back to top Go down
 
50 Shades of Grey is getting a movie
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 3 of 3Go to page : Previous  1, 2, 3
 Similar topics
-
» LAINEY GOSSIP: George is basically Christian Grey from the Book 50 Shades of Grey
» 50 Shades of Gray
» Fifty Shades of Grey - Official Trailer
» Aishwarya Rai: New Movie
» Name That Movie/Scene!

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Why God, Why? :: The Sporking Table :: GodAwful Bullshit-
Jump to: