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 Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)

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PostSubject: Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)   Fri May 31, 2013 4:50 pm

Hmm. Oh boy. Ooohhh boy. It does not get better than this. Melina, a short story by a man named Yarr. Found this on the interwebs and would like to bring to you. I won't tell you what it's about, not yet. Here is what the experience of reading this pile of garbage is like at first: chapter one.

Quote :
The monotone clops of the horse’s feet on the hard-trodden road made Tom’s eyelids feel heavy, his grip on the reins had gradually weakened over the last few minutes until they were now close to slipping from his hands. His head was bobbing as sleep almost had him in its grasp after a battle that had lasted most of the afternoon and now into the dusk.

That's the beginning. So, you think to yourself. This is some kind of fantasy story, possibly? It mentions "horse" and most people don't ride those today outside of residents of Pennsylvania.

Yarr writes about this man, Tom. A hardworking and honest man, taking corn into the city to be turned into flour. It is here he encounters Melina-the Holo to our Lawrence.


Quote :
The unknown figure seemed to have regained some of its composure as the gripped foot was somewhat carefully lowered to the ground followed by a sharp intake of breath before it turned towards and looked straight at Tom, who realized that whoever standing before him was also hooded thus any signs as to who it were was not possible to see in the quickly dwindling daylight, now just a red glow on the horizon where the sun had set.

A couple of seconds complete silence followed.
“How long are you going to stand like that?” the mysterious figure spoke, the tone genuinely inquisitive, and clearly female. Tom realized he was still standing with his arms above his head in a stretch. Smiling, he let them fall to his sides.

“Well, I can at least tell that I am dealing with a lady, but still not why I am dealing with her.”

Speaking as he walked towards her he noticed she was still leaning most of her weight on the unhurt leg, and that she was quite tall.

Estimating the top of her head to be on the level of his own, he was mildly surprised. He rarely met men he could look into the eyes without turning his gaze downward, and most females were at least a head lower then himself.

As Tom reached his horse again he noticed the cloaked woman getting uncertain, and stopped, stroking the mane of his horse. “Do not worry, I am but a mere farmer and have no malice towards you. But I still wonder why you were trying to sneak into my wagon?”

“I, um, want to get to the city, and was trying to sneak into the wagon and hide among your grain. I had no intention of stealing anything”.

Tom noticed she spoke with a slight accent, as if she was not speaking her native tongue. “Why did you not just ask?”

“I.. am not that much used to deal with people” Came the answer, a little hesitant.

Tom silently went and re-seated himself on his wagon, picking up the reins. Turning his head back towards her, he said “Well, unless you prefer sitting among sacks of grain back there instead of with me upfront, make haste. It’s a two hour journey to the city, and I’d prefer to be within the city limits before its pitch dark.”

“Oh. I thank you.” came the answer, as the woman with a tiny limp quickly walked around the wagon on the other side, and then climbed up and sat down next to Tom, who immediately lightly ruffled the reins telling his well trained horse to continue walking. With a low neigh and shook of its head, it did just that.

Well, this story is boring! A waste of my time! I don't see what the big damn deal is about it!

We here see hints that this woman is attractive, in the most traditional sense. T&A for all.

Quote :
As she sat down, Tom got another confirmation that he was dealing with a woman. Two grown men could comfortably sit next to each other on the wooden board that made up the wagon’s riding seat, however as she sat down he had to scoot towards the edge of the seat to avoid more then proper contact with her very broad hips as they flared out from her sitting down next to him.

Looking over to her slightly surprised he also noticed through her worn looking and cowering cloak two very abundant bulges on her chest, shaking slightly from the wagons movement.

Yet judging from her clothed hourglass shape, hands, and legs clad in tight leather pants that stuck out from the cloak that ended knee-high, she was not fat, just very voluptuous in addition to being rather tall.

After a while in silence, his companion broke the silence with a cheerful voice. “I’m sorry, I should at least introduce myself, and thank you for letting me ride along!” Turning towards her, Tom saw as she pulled back her hood, revealing her face for the first time.

It was clearly a young woman, but he could not place her age. She was stunningly beautiful, almost elfish and looked like she could have been just in the end of her teens or early twenties, but he somehow felt that she was older. Time seemed to treat her well.

Even in the scarce light remaining, he could tell that her hair was seemingly snow white or very bright blond, and no longer then down to the end of her neck. It was also quite unruly, not curled, but like she had indeed, traveled through forest.

Her skin was tanned brown from being often and for long times outside and her eyes was seemingly blue, and as she spoke her name Tom noticed something else as well, her upper jaw corner teeth seemed a bit too long.

“Melina!” Her hand had moved to handshake position seemingly in an instant, and though he firmly shook her hand in one of his noticeably larger ones, there was clearly great hidden strength in her grip.

Notice the "snow white hair". The author contradicts this later, but it's not like you would notice at that point. She is so beautiful, the author takes several lines to describe her beautiful beauty. I am not changing the formatting of this story, by the way. The author loves him some line breaks.

Quote :
“Ah!” Tom exclaimed. “It is the end of this forest; we call it Ashenvale, as it is grown from ashes. The city we are going to lies at the foot of a depleted fire volcano. That is why this nation has such good soil for crops”.

There is an extinct volcano near the town they are heading to. Remember this.

It is revealed the horse's name is Bob (Isn't there some TV Tropes article about Aeris and Bob or something?), good to know. Now that I have delayed you, here is the part where it occured to me to post the story for your bemusement.

Quote :
The reason for her clumsiness was less apparent now sitting down, but she could still feel the fullness in her abdomen, a result of her not having relieved her voluminous bowels for quite some time.

As if triggered by telepathy, a rumble sounded from Bob the horse ahead, and within a short moment both Tom and Melina’s faces showed signs of discomfort.
“Oh my. Bob!” Tom covered his nose with one arm while giving the horse a slight slap with the reins with the other, while Melina covered her nose with both palms, giggling.

“I treat him too well” Tom mumbled behind his arm, trying not to laugh. “Too much good hay! I apologize.” Still snickering, Melina told him not to worry. As they passed the next torch, the unlucky horse’s scent had now dispersed and they uncovered their noses.

Melina slightly envied the animal, not bound by laws of social etiquette. She could now, if she had wanted too, have strained out one or more bursts of gas from her rump that would easily have put the unfortunate Bob’s release to shame.

I think that that should stand by itself, really. Did I mention that I found this on Nyoufiction? I should have. Then again, this is the first time her impending need for a restroom is mentioned within the story. It is not the last.

Then the author tries to play off the rest of the chapter like it was nothing:

Quote :
The rest of the trip to the city took place with nothing but small talk taking place, gradually dribbling to a halt as they both were getting quite tired. Once inside the city, not a word was uttered and when they reached the inn Melina silently jumped off the wagon and went inside.

As Tom parked the wagon, took Bob to the stables and tied him up he thought it odd that Melina had not said good night or goodbye. The answer presented itself when he entered, the warm air inside the lighted inn shaking some of the accumulated tiredness off him.

Melina walked up to him informing that the inn was near fully booked, and due to their late arrival only a two-man room was available, for which she had paid.

After quickly cutting dead Tom’s half hearted protests, insisting the least she could do for the ride was to pay for his accommodation, they sat down for a late meal before bed.

"Yes, pretend I didn't put that weird-ass description right there near the end of this chapter! It didn't happen, no sir!"

It is the next chapter onwards where things become heated for poor Melina. Should I take a look at that? I should.

Quote :
Although she had felt bulk in her bowels for a long time now, it had grown to uncomfortable proportions lately. She was also getting quite gassy, a tight feeling on her tummy and rumblings occurring inside her behind. Getting the attention of one of the servants she asked for the bathroom.

Upon being informed that their room had one of the new modern water toilets, last summer’s big hit as the designs had reached them from the clever minds far away in the capital, she had quickly ruled it out in her mind both because she had no intention letting Tom know by smell and sounds what she was doing, and also because she knew a daintily water flush toilet would not be practical in handling what she planned to leave behind.

This is a common trend in Nyoufiction stories: fantasy worlds with fucking flush toilets in them. That's kind of weird, isn't it?

She heads to the outhouse. This occurs:

Quote :
Reaching back and grabbing a handful of butt flesh,

Butt flesh. That is all. I try not to let words get in the way of the enjoyment of a terrible story, so here we go. Note the strange word choices: once you've gone through "butt" "ass and "anus" you've really got little to work with.

Quote :
Melina spread apart her cheeks further, exposing her wrinkled round anus hidden in the deep cleft of her ass before her cheeks bulged over and swallowed up the seat ring as she sat down, a necessity when she relieved herself on a toilet to allow her waste free passage and not make her behind dirtier than needed.

Shaking her heart shaped hefty butt slightly to get comfortable, a stream of urine started hissing from her crotch, resulting in a sigh of relief from her as it noisily poured into the cesspit below.

As she continued urinating, a slight wrinkle of her nose followed quickly by a forceful burst of gas from her ass heralded her need. Keeping her strong thighs together along with her large butt completely covering the seat prevented any smell from bothering her.

Sitting upright with her hands on her meaty legs just below the V of her tights meeting her belly, she relaxed completely and let go. Another longer now muffled rectal explosion sounded below her, followed by a satisfied grunt, as her anus peeled open with a squishy crackle, exposing a thick fist sized glob of waste.

The glob of excrement quickly turned into a long thick log, crackling out of her anus with great speed, within a few seconds over a foot in length, soon two, before Melina’s butt clenched shut and let it drop heavily into the cesspit.

Leaning slightly forward she sighed in relief, causing her big beasts to heave as her armless navel length shirt strained against them.

BRRRRNT! PFFfffFFRRRR! More butt-gas left her rump urgently followed by another, equally large turd, then another, and another before a long bassy fart ending in a hiss made her groan slightly in relief from the large evacuation.

Now this would have been a sizable dump also for a girl of Melina’s stature but instead of grabbing the roll of paper and start wiping she grunted, farted unladylike and loudly again then continued to squeeze some great lengths of fat poop from her tanned behind, seemingly with greater urgency then before.

As a particular long rope of dung snaked itself from her pouting anus with a greasy crackle, she gave a low nasal “ohh yeahh..! before it thumped onto the now noticeable pile of thick coils she had generated down below.

Her urination had dabbed off to a trickle and now shrank to just mere drops as her bowels however released their contents unabated, more stinky gas pooted from her fleshy butt hole, filling the cesspit beneath her with a heavy smell.

Melina bit her lower lip slightly, exposing her fang like upper corner teeth, pushed, and exhaled contently as another gassy expulsion resulted in several thuds as yet more poop fell from her.

Shifting her bum on the seat for better blood circulation quickly made her cover her nose with her hands, regretting letting her poopy stink free from below.

Seemingly against better judgment she again expelled a lot of noisy gas, followed by more thick crackly turds from her ample rear end. She had now added a mass equal to what a handful well fed cows might produce to the cesspit, and still she stayed seated.

Melina put a hand to her stomach, rubbing it slightly in a circular motion as it rumbled audibly.

Leaning further forward, letting her elbows rest on her knees Melina ceased her dump for a moment, now having given up containing the smell her butt relentlessly produced.


He certainly isn't a subtle person, is he. Pooted, are you serious? Are you goddamn kidding me? Not only does he have a limited vocabulary range, but he's also not satisfied with what has gone on in this literal shithole.

Quote :
“This is barely helping” she thought to herself. “Feels good but not removing any pressure. I need to go properly somehow, somewhere.”

There is really only so much you could say about this. What the fuck, Yarr? This isn't enough for you? And not only does he include horrific amounts of scat in this story, but he also includes, um, this.

Quote :
Fiddling slightly with a wisp of her hair with one hand and rubbing her still tender foot with the other, the small room was quiet for a little while save for some gurgles and rumbles emanating from her tummy.

She could still feel more shit wanting out, but held it in, letting her mind wander. Unknown to her, in the neighboring stall a young boy, one of the stable workers, sat in awe.

Having enjoyed some of his father’s tobacco after sneaking off from dish work at the inn, he had just witnessed this hot girl he saw eating in the inn dining hall earlier appear, take the other stall, disrobe, plant her very big butt on the toilet and poop like a huge farm animal.

Observing her through a crack in the wooden boards composing the thin wall dividing the stalls, the shocked nineteenteen-year old silently endured the massive stink this unknown beauty had noisily generated.

This experience would mark him for life, strongly enhancing his natural interest for female behinds, and adding a fascination for them having a bowel movement.

And as the girl beside him, unaware of his presence again loudly began moving her bowels in a explosion of flatulence and heavy splats, he let his jaw and eyes pop wide open in shock.

No human could possibly contain that much, even though he had observed the girl to be both tall and voluptuous, with a huge alluring chest and a bigger rump, now again letting loose into the cesspit.

Isn't this just the sexiest thing you have ever read? javascript:emoticonp('Fap') BUT WAIT! There's more!

Quote :
Melina, now with her chin cupped in her hand, released the hold on her sphincter and with a small grunt pushed a fat wrist thick pole of poop from her anus, followed by a voluminous raspy fart and then another crackly long turd.

After a few popping farts she stopped, sighing as she grabbed the roll of paper on the floor next to her feet and leaned to the side, lifting one of her meaty cheeks from the seat then started to wipe. Luckily it was a fairly dry dump, so not much muck was left for her to remove.

As she stood up and reapplied her panties and pants, the emotionally and nasally scarred teen in the neighboring stall was slightly disappointed that she had not lifted the side of her butt pointing towards him when she wiped.

Exiting the outhouse and tying back on her cape as she walked towards the inn, Melina was contemplating her predicament. She reckoned she had released enough not to embarrass herself by farting up a storm and stinking up their room in her sleep, but she still needed to go and badly.

Maybe there was something in the human food? No matter, she could not have proper relief until she had left this area.

I separated this bit here because it is just so disgusting I had to mention it.

Quote :
Down in the cesspit lay a still steaming hill around three feet tall consisting of large coiled up turds together adding up to at least the weight of a grown man, the smell emanating from it together with the lingering flatulence that filled the outhouse and its closest surroundings were undeniable proof that the still dazzled boy in the other outhouse half had not dreamt the whole thing.

Wasn't that nice! I am so turned on right now, let me tell you.

Quote :
Quickly walking inside and up to their room, Melina silently hung her cape on a clothing hook near the door and made herself ready for bed, all under the covers of Tom’s heavy snores. Despite the noise Melina soon fell asleep, and they both slept well past sunrise the next day.Fiddling slightly with a wisp of her hair with one hand and rubbing her still tender foot with the other, the small room was quiet for a little while save for some gurgles and rumbles emanating from her tummy.

I'm sorry if it sucks and concrit is nice, but I just HAD To show this to you.
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Cyberwulf
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PostSubject: Re: Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)   Fri May 31, 2013 4:59 pm

link?

is this the same guy who wrote cloud mows the lawn
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PostSubject: Re: Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)   Sat Jun 01, 2013 8:04 am

A. I'm having serious trouble linking to Nyoufiction and I don't know why. I hate to sound like an idiot, but if you just google Nyoufiction then it's the first thing that comes up.

B. Hahaha, no. There's a hell of a lot of this shit ( ) to go around. There are more disgusting works out there, but this one makes the biggest first impression.
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PostSubject: Re: Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)   Sat Jun 01, 2013 10:49 am

Cyberwulf wrote:
link?

is this the same guy who wrote cloud mows the lawn

You know what, I had nearly managed to forget about that. No

This is just as bad, but it probably won't become a classic.
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PostSubject: Re: Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)   Sat Jun 01, 2013 8:06 pm

So she has a massive shit. Meh. At least she isn't playing with it or using it as lube.
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PostSubject: Re: Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)   Sun Jun 02, 2013 1:34 am

EileenK98 wrote:
So she has a massive shit. Meh. At least she isn't playing with it or using it as lube.
Eh, it made me nauseous enough that I had to put down my sandwich. They can't all be the best, but this still certainly deserves to be here.
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PostSubject: Re: Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)   Mon Jun 03, 2013 3:09 am

Probably the intended effect: making people feel nauseous. Certainly worked on me. pale
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PostSubject: Re: Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)   Mon Jun 03, 2013 7:30 am

There is worse out there, definitely. I just wanted to warm you guys up.

There's another one I could use in a pinch: "Ravi and Sarah". "Playing with it" is included, as well as a speech pattern so littered with f-bombs that it's impossible to read. But I want to finish this first...not that I can right now. One of my friends noticed that I was reading scat porn on her computer and is now deeply suspicious of me.
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PostSubject: Re: Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)   Sun Jul 27, 2014 5:52 pm

I don't know about anybody else, but this lurker was disappointed that you never mocked the other 2 chapters.
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PostSubject: Re: Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)   Mon Jul 28, 2014 2:51 am

Quote :
“It is the end of this forest; we call it Ashenvale, as it is grown from ashes.
"It's usually been an Alliance-controlled zone, but that's changed recently and it's been a huge setting for a lot of PvP."
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PostSubject: Re: Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)   Mon Jul 28, 2014 7:44 pm

I'll do the other chapters someday. That's where the story gets more...interesting?
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PostSubject: Re: Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)   Wed Aug 13, 2014 3:37 am

Melina inspired art!

Images contain nudity and mild scat (obviously).

Artist: Naigo (commissioned by the author)
Spoiler:
 

Artist: DoubleKing (this one appears to belong to the cat race from Red Dwarf)
Spoiler:
 

Artist: S2X (there's already a thread about him)
Spoiler:
 

Artist: Quetzalcoatl29 (starring his "original" giantess character Melona)
Spoiler:
 
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PostSubject: Re: Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)   Wed Aug 13, 2014 6:01 pm

So she uses a volcano as a toilet? How does that even happen?

This seems unbelievably stupid to me.
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PostSubject: Re: Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)   Wed Aug 13, 2014 11:09 pm

1604127 wrote:
So she uses a volcano as a toilet? How does that even happen?

She sits on it, clearly.

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This seems unbelievably stupid to me.

Did you miss the part where the volcano had a face?
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PostSubject: Re: Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)   Thu Aug 14, 2014 2:24 am

The logical question is what on earth has she been eating to enable her to make more stools than IKEA.
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PostSubject: Re: Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)   Mon Sep 22, 2014 4:08 pm

kghaleon wrote:
You guys like this gross shit? I knew it, you are all fucked up.

You come back after one whole week, force your dumb ass onto a thread that has nothing to do with you just because you're a douchenozzle who makes everything about him, and then you have the audacity to call us fucked up for sporking a fucked up story, despite the fact that if you read it long enough to realize it's fucked up then you should have read long enough to realize that ViewSonic doesn't endorse it. Who pissed in your cereal today? Did DSP make yet another racist joke about black people, or Asians, and the anti-fans are making you butthurt?
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PostSubject: Re: Melina (Really, REALLY NWS)   Fri Sep 09, 2016 4:13 am

Could you get back to sporking "Melina"? Could you spork other stories from Nyoufiction?

I'm not gonna lie. I'm one of the writers there. I saw my name mentioned here a couple years ago (the tread's deleted) and I always was curious which fics you guys thought were funny-awful and why.

I know this is kind of weird.
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