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the asylum
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PostSubject: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Fri Apr 19, 2013 1:54 am

because i dont feel like creating a hundred new threads a year

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Conservative radio host: Families of Newtown shooting victims can ‘go to hell’

Quote :
Minnesota radio host Bob Davis last week said last Friday he would like to personally tell the families in Newtown, Connecticut whose children were murdered to “go to hell.”

Surely this wise and well-informed individual has a completely rational reason for such vitriol:

Quote :
“I have something I want to say to the victims of Newtown, or any other shooting,” Davis said. “I don’t care if it’s here in Minneapolis or anyplace else. Just because a bad thing happened to you doesn’t mean that you get to put a king in charge of my life.

Yeah! How dare anyone try to do anything about the pathetic state of gun control laws in the US, where any mental defective can get his hands on a weapon with virtually zero interference! WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEEE!?

Quote :
I’m sick and tired of seeing these victims trotted out, given rides on Air Force One, hauled into the Senate well, and everyone is just afraid — they’re terrified of these victims.”

yeah how dare they be motivated by horrific personal tragedy WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEE!?

Quote :
“I would stand in front of them and tell them, ‘go to hell,’” he added.

I would pay actual money to see this.

Quote :
Davis acknowledged on Monday he was “getting some email” about his comments. But he did not offer an apology. Instead, he dismissed his offensive remarks as “an emotional predecessor to a thought which can and will find a more refined expression by me and others in the future.”

"Telling the families of slaughtered children to go to hell, I was emotional, okay? They're trying to make it slightly more inconvenient for me to buy my precious guns! MY PRECIOUS GUUURRRRRRNNNZZZZ!!!"
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Fri Apr 19, 2013 1:59 am

This generally happens when someone needs to drum up ratings.
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the asylum
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Thu May 09, 2013 12:45 pm

When I made this thread I said to myself: "I will NOT post anything I find on Rightwingwatch. It's TOO easy."

But this is so bat shit insane I just have to repost it here.

Quote :
Erik Rush: Obama Likely 'Orchestrated the Attack' in Benghazi

Yeah, I know. Erik Rush, fish in the barrel, but come on. This exits "Usual Paranoid Ramblings" territory and crosses into "Explosive Verbal Diarrhea" country.

Quote :
“given his connections to the Muslim Brotherhood and legendary understanding of all things Islamic.”

Obama, that crafty muslim nazi socialist atheist communist liberal fascist- um, what'd I miss here? muslim nazi, check. socialism, check, fascism, check. godless lefty, check. Hitlertarian... is that even a word? Ah hell let's throw that in too. Hitlertarian! Yup, that's got it all. Yeah. All those things from other "reliable sources" on the social right.

Quote :
Rush cites the “Trinity United murders,” which according to far-right lore was Obama’s move to murder his former gay lovers

Not even two paragraphs in and I think I've already cracked a rib from laughter

Quote :
But he warns that impeachment proceedings against Obama will “ignite civil unrest,” which Rush claims is actually Obama’s plan all along!

Yes, the supposed endgame to take away all your guns so he can later force you to into islam and force you to get gay married and ow ow ow my ribs
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Thu May 09, 2013 6:30 pm

Quote :
Rush cites the “Trinity United murders,” which according to far-right lore was Obama’s move to murder his former gay lovers

What?

What?

Ok, well now I cannot say that my parents believe all the batshit right-winged stuff anymore. Because even they would crack a rib laughing at that.
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Lady Anne
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Fri May 10, 2013 9:45 pm

the asylum wrote:
Obama, that crafty muslim nazi socialist atheist communist liberal fascist- um, what'd I miss here? muslim nazi, check. socialism, check, fascism, check. godless lefty, check. Hitlertarian... is that even a word? Ah hell let's throw that in too. Hitlertarian! Yup, that's got it all. Yeah. All those things from other "reliable sources" on the social right.
You forgot muslin. Everybody knows Obama is a piece of fabric.
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Wed May 22, 2013 3:47 pm

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GOP Nominee In Virginia Called Three-Fifths Clause An ‘Anti-Slavery Amendment’

Quote :
The Republican nominee for lieutenant governor in Virginia has called the Constitution’s original clause to count blacks as three-fifths of a person an “anti-slavery amendment.”

That's EW Jackson, the latest nutter making big strides in the GOP, so much so that he vies for Michele Bachmann's crown of Most Insane Fundie

Quote :
"...Its purpose was to limit the voting power of slave holding states,” Jackson, an African-American, said in his statement.

When it was really just an elaborate tax-dodging scheme for the South. The South still had its same power, and the slave still had no rights. Some "anti-slavery" amendment.

Then he goes on to rag on Obama for listening to sermons on slavery look guys it a republican as if were expecting him to make sense anyway
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ViewSonic
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Thu May 23, 2013 8:00 am

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Pretty much everything Gaylor writes is cray-cray Republican rambling, and frankly it is making Conservatives like me look bad with his AMURRICA FUCK YEAH attitude, his exceptionally thin skin, his ridiculous opinions, craptastic strawmen liberals, and running incestuous themes. He's like Stephen Colbert, except incredibly unfunny and 101% serious.
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Thu May 23, 2013 2:18 pm

yeah calling him "gaylor" is doing yourself a shitload of favours there buckyboy
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Thu May 23, 2013 4:15 pm

Cyberwulf wrote:
yeah calling him "gaylor" is doing yourself a shitload of favors there buckyboy
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Thu May 23, 2013 6:39 pm

ViewSonic wrote:
cray-cray

Feel free to stick a wire brush up your urethra, Kidtoucher
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Thu May 23, 2013 8:44 pm

Rep. Louis (How Dare You Cast Aspersions on my Asparagus!) Gohmert adresses left-wing complaints about his hyperbolic suggestion that the IRS would have shot the original Boston Tea Partiers. Then he gets lost in either the woods or a K-Mart parking lot.
Quote :
Gohmert recalled that once during a discussion about endangered species, he had heard that “a pair of spotted owls that we were told for years couldn’t mate anywhere but virgin woods, untouched by human hands, they may have been seen mating in (a) Kmart sign.”

“And sheer sarcasm and out of irony I said, you know, there are a lot of Kmarts that have been out of business,” he continued. “Maybe we need to see if that’s really true and if so, maybe get Kmart signs, see if they ought to be declared endangered and maybe have a Kmart sign forest, where these little owls could mate like crazy out there on the Kmart signs.”

“And I look over at reporters, folks sitting there, and you could see people looking at each other, going, ‘Do you think he’s serious?’”
I think they fear he is, but not in the way he means. Video at link.
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Fri May 24, 2013 7:29 am

Penguin wrote:


Feel free to stick a wire brush up your urethra, Kidtoucher

Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don't want to pick a fight here! If I actually wanted to cast my lot as a troll and hang out with Mikey and Chocobo then I would go and do it.

Also, pedophilia allegations are the last refuge of scoundrels right after comparisons to Hitler. Might have wanted to save that for something slightly more irritating, perhaps?
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the asylum
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Tue May 28, 2013 4:32 pm

back on thread now

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Quote :
Tennessee GOP Congressman Stephen Fincher, swept into office in the Tea Party wave of 2010, is on a mission from God.

To feed the hungry? To aide the downtrodden? To give hope to the hopeless?

Quote :
Armed with an array of proverbs and quotes from the Holy Bible, Congressman Fincher is pressing his fight to dramatically curtail the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP)—better known to most Americans as food stamps—relied upon by 47 million Americans for some or all of their daily sustenance.

Hah, were you seriously expecting anything virtuous? These are Republicans, after all.

Quote :
Why?

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Quote :
“The role of citizens, of Christians, of humanity is to take care of each other, but not for Washington to steal from those in the country and give to others in the country.”

And why should the government spend tax money on the peasants? After all, the American "Holier-Than-Thou" Right has a stellar track record of giving back to the "Little People" on their own accord.

So of course he gets called out about being a dickhead with basic human necessities, and then says this:

Quote :
Congressman Fincher responded with his own Bible quote taken from the Book of Thessalonians—“The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”

Riiiiight, because all those broke poor people just aren't working hard enough! Can't have people willingly choose to be poor and starving, something something bootstraps, or..... whatever.

No, real hard-working men have all the money they need, especially the ones who've been making off with huge amounts of government money

See, socialism is EEEEEEEEEVIL (unless of course you're already well off and you stand to fuck everyone else over, then it's totally ok)
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Fri May 31, 2013 10:51 pm

the asylum wrote:


Quote :
"...Its purpose was to limit the voting power of slave holding states,” Jackson, an African-American, said in his statement.

When it was really just an elaborate tax-dodging scheme for the South. The South still had its same power, and the slave still had no rights. Some "anti-slavery" amendment.
Jackson actually is correct. The Southern states were trying to have slaves counted because in many places such as Virginia, slaves far outnumbered the white population. If not for the 3/5ths compromise, they could have gotten considerably more seats in the House and Senate (which is determined by the population count here)...and ironically, would have led to more power for the slaveowners, had that happened. It certainly was a far cry from an anti-slavery amendment, but it made a horrible situation less horrid.
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Wed Jun 19, 2013 12:22 pm

It was a trade-off that did more for the slavers than the slaves

But anyway, moar

GOP lawmaker: Extreme abortion ban justified because of masturbating fetuses

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I should just be able to stop right here. Like, this should be all I have to copypasta. Full stop. Right here. Hit Send, wash hands.

But no, this deserves a snarking, and I need some laughs.

Quote :
Rep. Michael Burgess, R-Texas, said on Monday that he supports the proposed federal ban on abortion at 20 weeks because he has personally witnessed male fetuses with their hands “between their legs” pleasuring themselves at 15 weeks.

At 15 weeks the fetus is barely experiencing any brain activity outside of rudimentary sympathetic/parasympatheric reactions. Also, it's hard to get off when you don't have any genitals yet.

Quote :
Burgess’ theory about “masturbating” fetuses isn’t the only outrageous comment presented as fact to provoke outrage (and some head scratches) during the lead-up to the House debate on the doomed measure; on Wednesday of last week, bill sponsor Rep. Trent Franks, R-Ariz., remarked that an exception to the ban in cases of rape or incest was unnecessary “because, you know, the incidence of rape resulting in pregnancy are very low.”

And GOP continues to wonder why normal, sane people won't vote for them
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Mon Jun 24, 2013 12:06 pm

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Texas GOP Rep On Abortion: Women Get ‘Cleaned Out’ With ‘Rape Kits’

Quote :
While the Texas House debated an anti-abortion omnibus bill for 15 hours Sunday night, Rep. Senfronia Thompson (D-Houston) called for an exemption for victims of rape and incest, the Associated Press reported. Rep. Jody Laubenberg (R-Parker) objected, saying "rape kits" make that exemption unneccessary:

dear gop: please stop talking about rape. it never works out for you.

Quote :
"In the emergency room they have what's called rape kits where a woman can get cleaned out," [Laubenberg] said, comparing the procedure to an abortion.

Taking the Monty Python song "All Sperm Is Sacred" a bit too far, eh?

Quote :
"The woman had five months to make that decision, at this point we are looking at a baby that is very far along in its development."

Stuck in an echo chamber of the party's idiocy.
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Mon Jun 24, 2013 3:03 pm

*headdesk*
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Tue Jun 25, 2013 11:07 am

the asylum wrote:
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Texas GOP Rep On Abortion: Women Get ‘Cleaned Out’ With ‘Rape Kits’

Quote :
While the Texas House debated an anti-abortion omnibus bill for 15 hours Sunday night, Rep. Senfronia Thompson (D-Houston) called for an exemption for victims of rape and incest, the Associated Press reported. Rep. Jody Laubenberg (R-Parker) objected, saying "rape kits" make that exemption unneccessary:

dear gop: please stop talking about rape. it never works out for you.

Quote :
"In the emergency room they have what's called rape kits where a woman can get cleaned out," [Laubenberg] said, comparing the procedure to an abortion.
That is not how rape kits work, GOP.



Seriously, I'm surprised these people have sufficient intellect to remember how to breathe.
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Tue Jun 25, 2013 8:29 pm

I saw this at another board and assumed it was a guy talking about this. It was a few hours later when I read the post more closely that I realized this is a WOMAN who said this.
*shakes head*
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Mon Oct 07, 2013 7:56 pm

been awhile hasnt it

like i said, i've refrained from posting anything ive found on RWW, and i think this one is probably the most darndest thing a republican has ever said:

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Quote :
And Rep. Ted Yoho, R-Fla., even argues that reaching the debt limit could help the economy, by showing the world the U.S. is serious about its debt problem. "I think, personally, it would bring stability to the world markets," he told The Washington Post Monday.
From an actual person in an actual capacity of decision-making.

I'm sorry, America. You're right fucked.
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Fri Oct 11, 2013 10:03 am

the asylum wrote:
been awhile hasnt it

like i said, i've refrained from posting anything ive found on RWW, and i think this one is probably the most darndest thing a republican has ever said:

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Quote :
And Rep. Ted Yoho, R-Fla., even argues that reaching the debt limit could help the economy, by showing the world the U.S. is serious about its debt problem. "I think, personally, it would bring stability to the world markets," he told The Washington Post Monday.
From an actual person in an actual capacity of decision-making.

I'm sorry, America. You're right fucked.
Well, consider this. Would you, or would you not want the global economic infrastructure to take a massive baseball bat to the face and possibly sink into a hole that it could never recover from? I mean, do I need to repoint out what happened in Greece back in '08 after the DOW got punched out by the banks pulling brown checks out of their asses and going 'oops, we done goofed!' then went crying to the 'murrican senate, congress, and Obama to find a feasible fix for it?

Or, would you rather congress does another debt hike thus piling on even MOAR!!1one111! debt than our impressive... what is it? 17-20 Trillion dollars in debt we're in? Need I remind you about just how badly companies in japan, china, yurope took a shit on the can when america nearly flat-lined even if it was only for a few weeks? Colbert

Point being, American economy is just barely getting back up on it's feet 5 years later after the housing market crash and dow took a fist to the face and crumpled, I honestly don't want to see even more depression than what we had.
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Fri Oct 11, 2013 2:50 pm

wtf does that have to do with the republicans basically holding the economy hostage because how dare poor people get free health care

because that's what's actually going on
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Fri Oct 11, 2013 3:26 pm

Cyberwulf wrote:
wtf does that have to do with the republicans basically holding the economy hostage because how dare poor people get free health care

because that's what's actually going on
Colbert That's... a good question. Also, my previous post was the most I've typed in roughly 6 months
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Fri Oct 11, 2013 6:30 pm

Cyberwulf wrote:
wtf does that have to do with the republicans basically holding the economy hostage because how dare poor people get free health care

because that's what's actually going on
They're not getting health care right now, because the feds paid $600+ million for a website that functions worse than one some college kids could have happily made for credit hours.

It's also not free, you halfwit. If you had the most basic understanding of economics or Reality, you'd know that.
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PostSubject: Re: "Republicans Say the Darndest Things" Megathread   Sat Oct 12, 2013 1:50 am

Mikey... I assume you must know that going Dittohead here - ESPECIALLY in direct response to Cyberwulf - isn't going to score you points with ANYONE here.
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