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 The Jerk Sue romance of Bruce Wayne and Harry Po- I mean, Aeirs Wynter.

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Shadow Sora94


Join date : 2012-12-14

PostSubject: The Jerk Sue romance of Bruce Wayne and Harry Po- I mean, Aeirs Wynter.   Tue Jan 08, 2013 6:22 pm

Sooo, I like crossovers. And Batman (both comics and the Dark Knight Trilogy) and Harry Potter are some of my favorite fandoms of all time. With two such different fandoms, usually, crossovers with these are... meh. But you know, they sometimes have their gems that take the best of both worlds, written by a competent author.

Then we get the ones (*looks at Hotaru Hikari Ishtar*) that manges to drag not just one fandom, but both down. So with this ladies and gentlemen, let's look at Still Not Over.

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Harry flees the Wizarding world after the war and takes up an abandoned building, feeding and clothing homeless. That is into the Wayne Corporation decides to tear it down, and Bruce Wayne makes a public enemy of the former Boy-who-lived.

Not the worst summary, but certainly not even good. I don't have the highest standards so I took a gamble and delved in. Let's look at chapters 1 and 2 while wishing it was just over.

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Main Pairings:Harry Potter (Aeirs Wynter)/Bruce Wayne

Oh, goodie. I already sensed the yaoi, but we get a Mary Sue name change also! Yeah

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Heroes are created by popular demand, sometimes out of the scantiest materials, or none at all.
Gerald W. Johnson

Each chapter starts off with a quote- and in my opinion, the first two chapters are ones are actually good choices- partially from being good quotes, as well as actually being able to somewhat relate to Batman and Harry (although moreso Batman). Then it all becomes about love. Just to get them out of the way.

Chapter 2- "Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy." F. Scott Fitzgerald

Chapter 3- "I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of. Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you."

Chapter 4- "The worst thing you can do for love is deny it; so when you find that special someone, don't let anyone or anything to get in your way."

Chapter 5- "There is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness." Nietzsche.

... Ok, no more stalling. Let's delve into this mess. A fair warning- you might want to punch someone or want to break something as you read this sporking, let alone the actual story.

Chapter 1: Interlude 1

Also the only interlude since this is a deadfic now.

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"Harry do you know what your doing?" A beautiful red-haired woman asked.

"Of course Ginny." A bespectacled lad replied as he pulled contents from within their shelves.

Turning towards her, he tried to give her a smile but it just couldn't reach his eyes. He knew that she was scared, so was he. But he just couldn't bring himself to do what the world thought was right.

Well, at least the story doesn't BS and take half an hour to get the plot rolling? Well, apparently Harry has had quite a nasty temper before this started- Ginny is being really careful not to say anything to rile up Harry.

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"But Harry this is the Dark Lord were talking about."

Harry stared at his girlfriend in shock. How could she even say something like that? What of the Weasley family motto; Viaticus est volatilis quod vix , tamen prosapia est eternus quod mediocris, Money is fleeting scarce, but family is eternal and fair.



Yeah, this story also wasted no time turning into a train wreck. Harry has possession of a baby Voldemort. BABY TOM RIDDLE. You know, that asshole who was incapable of love, was torturing children his age before he even went to Hogwarts, magical Hitler and the one responsible for ruining Harry's life when he was a baby?

"It's family Ginny."

"Harry, that man is responsible for... pretty much every bad thing that happened in our lives."

"But... it's family, Ginny."

"... No, no he isn't."

How is this supposed to be family? Apparently not only is Harry a jackass, he's a dumbshit. The only relation is very distant due to pureblood extension technicalities. Worst argument to spare baby Voldemort ever.

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Turning his eyes down, he stared at the green and silver swaddle bundle, his black hair peeking from his protective covering. Dark Lord or not, he was now a baby an innocent baby. He couldn't have his death on his conscience.

"Look at him Ginny, does he seem evil to you." Harry asked as he held out the tiny baby towards her.

"He has no nose, has what looks like really bad eczema, really long arms and legs, and....... Harry, I think he's flipping me off."

Again, why are you trying so hard to pretend what you're holding is innocent? Voldemort was born evil, and you know this! I understand you not wanting to kill a baby and maybe even try to see if there was /some/ way he could grow up and not be evil if introduced to love, but that is your parents and countless innocents murderer! Turning into a baby does NOT wipe everything he did from history! Geez...

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Ginny took a step back; she wasn't entirely comfortable with the whole situation. Harry was endangering both his life and their future by trying to protect the Dark Lord.

Spoiler alert- we never see Ginny again and she's the only likable character in this whole mess because she's the only character who acts rationally to what's happening around her.

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Harry was looking at her with such disappointment. What did she do to warrant his displeasure, his, his disappointment, except trying to keep him out of Azkaban.

"Harry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry but this is wrong, wrong against everything we've fought for." Ginny tried to argue, her tone doing nothing to hide her guilt.

Harry stared at her in confusion, what reason did she have to apologize. His eyes slowly widening as he stared at her.

Harry, you are an ungrateful and stupid asshole. Angry What a surprise though- without Ginny he'd be in Azkaban? I certainty can buy it.

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Looking away, his expression began to fill with pain. "You know, there are worst things then death."

"No there isn't, death gives you absolution, Azkaban gives you suffering. Can't you see I didn't want that for you, for us. Think about our future Harry, our children they deserve to be born to know their father." She pleaded as she attempted to pacify him.

"Ginny, I'm sorry, but why are we talking with no emotion."

"Is that really important Harry. This is a serious thing we're talking about-"

"Ginny, isn't it obvious I don't really care about you. What's important is I save this innocent baby that murdered my parents. And by extension one of your brothers because of his terrorist organization. Because it is the right thing to do."

... Wait, did Ginny just prove his point right there? Isn't suffering supposed to be worse than absolution? Anyways...

So, anyway, Harry shields his face not to look at her (Fuck. You. Harry.) then-

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"No, there is no longer any future for us." Harry finally said his look was of deepest heartbreak. "Goodbye Ginevra."

"No, HARRY!" Ginny screamed as she raced forward, but it was already too late. Harry, the Dark Lord, and whatever was inside of the chest were already gone in a cloud of blindingly white smoke.

There were several pops before over a dozen Aurors came racing inside of the cramped alcove.

"... Oh dear Merlin YES! My emotions have returned! THE NIGHTMARE IS FINALLY OVER! "

Aaaaand that's it for that horrid scene. The question is, with him no longer being the worst boyfriend imaginable to Ginny, will people still want to uppercut him? So, Harry goes on to meet with some dude.

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Harry smiled at the man's "That is true, I know that all too well. So are we doing this or not."

"Or not, humorous Mr. Potter and yes we are doing this as you so eloquently put it. I should say that this business deal is quite sufficed and leaves us both significantly compensated." The man drawled as he pulled out a heavy brown package.

... No way. After all that BS with Ginny, there's no way Harry is going to trade this little mass murderer in the making.

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Tou are an unfit parent Mr. Potter, the dogs are hounding on your heels. How do you intend to raise him, to protect him when the truth comes out?"

Harry choked back the tears. He was right no matter how cruel it was said, he was right. His life, was no longer truly his own. He would be hunted, chased, and eventually caught and when that day came all knowledge he had on this innocent child could very lead to his demise. He couldn't die, not anymore. He was now an immortal, something that the Dark Lord and many other wizards sought for millenniums. He may not be able to die, but he could still feel pain. And Azkaban was not a place he desired to spend an eternity in, nope.

Sorry, two likable characters. Ginny and Some Dude,

And, well gee Harry- what did you think was gonna happen? I mean, you only kidnapped the Dark Lord who's probably never going to receive judgment for starting two wars that killed a lot of innocent people. What, you think you-

... Huh. Wait a minuet. [i]Immortal!?
Well, gee author, thanks for dropping that bomb out of nowhere without an explanation. Why is Harry immortal? In fact- this is the only time the word immortal is actually used. Because this... is not really important. The fact a baby Tom Riddle is now in the care of some stranger, Harry being immortal, that's not important as the yaoi, after all. However, with giving up baby Voldemort. And with that ends the story of Harry Potter, a once heroic boy who grew up to be a douchebag man. Now starts the story of Aeirs Wynter, the Gary Stu.

So, the final part of this chapter. Har- Aeirs is going to be part of some rally his lawyer apparently fucked up. Or just pissed him off. However after Aeirs' track record in this story though, I wouldn't put it past him just waking up with a hangover and not wanting to take responsibility for his action though.

Well, nothing much happens. Apparently Harry is someplace pretty ugly- but according to Rachel Dawes, it's lives up to city code (not the most reassuring news in a town like Gotham). And... nothing much really happens. Well, we get a glimpse into one of Harry's friends (who by name is never refereed to again)- Audrey. And Chloë- also not brought up again. This is a deadfic, but by Chapter 5 you'd expect Harry's new friends to be referenced a few times. Anyways, he asks them if they're sure all the protesters for what will be revealed in the second chapter will be there.

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"Because I don't want to show up there on forty degree weather and no one is there. It'll make me look stupid; it'll make you look stupid and would strengthen the council's resolve to go ahead with the destruction of our home."

"No problem Aeirs." She quickly said she did not want to incur his wraith once again.

"But are you sure about this, it may catch international attention." She asked him worriedly.

"You have nothing to worry about Chloë; I doubt they would be able to recognize me." He assured her, his eyes falling onto the stranger's reflection staring back at him.

'I barley do anymore'

Once again, Aeirs shows us even with a name change, he's an asshole. Although that one can slip a little bit. Not by much though. And international attention? Ok- why would /anybody/ outside of Gotham itself give a rat's ass a billionare wants to take down a building? Maybe some people in the State would care, but really nothing outside of Gotham. Is the world /that/ interested in the life of Aeirs Wynter, asshole extrodinare?

Buuut, that's it for the chapter. The third part doesn't talk about anything that important to the plot, since we don't know anything about the protest and should have just staid a flashback chapter.

Anyways though, on to Chapter 2- Battlecry!

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"WE WONT GO! WE WONT GO!" A woman with bright pink hair done in a Mohawk shouted as she waved her sign in the air.

"WAYNE IS A HOE! WAYNE IS A HOE!" A green eyed, red-haired boy shouted beside her, his banner held in between several of the protestors.

Beautiful, they're all immature jackasses. Yeah, these are people you totally want to support, right? I mean , that just screams class and sophistication. WAYNE IS A HOE. Well, technically he wants you think he is, but still.

So, basically, the building Bruce Wayne wants to tear down is Fairview Hotel. Why? This is where Thomas and Martha were murdered. Apparently it wasn't Park Row/Crime Alley- instead Thomas and Martha decided to walk through a building where Joe Chill was just hanging around. Since then though, Aeirs has turned the place around. To quote a news reporter-

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"Mr. Aeirs Wynters has turned the building into a safe haven for a flurry of people including; the homeless, drug addicts and, battered spouses, and even pregnant ad runaway teens. Mr. Wynters has refused to accept Mr. Wayne's generous offer of three newly furnished buildings for his wards, saying that and I quote..."

And it only took two years!

But, yes. Now Aeris and his group of 100 (really? A hundred? THAT was supposed to grow international attention? Must have been the slowest news day in human history) What does Aeris have to say about all this?

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'That pompous bastard can take his generous offer and shove it up his arse, because next time I see him nosing around here I am going to *****'

Ladies and gentlemen, our hero! Really, THIS is the man going up against billionaire Bruce Wayne. This is the man who wants to change Gotham's mind to keep his magical homeless center that was put together. This is a man who wants people to respect his views on this.

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"Mr. Wynters, Mr. Wynters, may I have a word from you."

The reported practically shoving the microphone down the man's throat. He stared at the screen then back at the microphone in front of him.

"What the hell do you want to hear you, dirty slag? Didn't I tell you to get bent already?" The boy sneered; he was obliviously not interested in giving an interview.

... I said that quote too soon. Really. On live TV.

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"Umm, yes you did several times. Mr. Wynters I wanted to know what is your opinion on this whole thing." The woman stuttered out, apparently taken aback by the sheer malice pouring from him.

"What do you think; I'm out here in freezing weather so obviously I'm not very pleased. I must wonder, what was your name again?" He said sarcastically, his arms wrapped around his body in an attempt to keep warm. The thin leather jacket he was wearing looked badly worn and tattered.

"Tracy Warns, sir."

"Tracy Warns, what stupid name, wow." Aeirs sneered before throwing his head back and laughing.

"And your name is better." Tracy threw back. She would be damned if that little brat embarrassed her, again.

"Yeah, Aeirs so many meanings, all of which is good. Whilst your name is boring and oh so trivia…yawn."

Ahhh, Mary Sue name logic. Remember new authors- having a good name isn't about having something that makes sense, it's about having a name that means a hundred different meanings that nobody has in real life. Also, you gotta remember- when your sue is awesome enough, he doesn't need silly things like respect or even common decency! You know, like asking a reporter how many cocks she had to suck to get her job.

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"Yep, you ***** your boss. I guess sleeping around does get you ahead. But enough of this niceties, Mr. Wayne is an arse. I'm sorry for his parents loss and I understand the significant that building has on his life. However, he is not the only one to have lost his parents, due to a violent crime. I have made significant change to this building, there's a lot of people lives counting on this, so frankly Mr. Wayne man the **** up. We are not leaving that building so he might as well destroy it with me inside, because the only way he's getting it is over my, dead, worm-infested, corpse."

*clears throat*



The kicker? Aeirs doens't even... have a reason for having such a fight. It's about him and only him, like everything. Remember- Bruce has offered him three refurbished buildings in return for an ugly one he hates. Is the lesson supposed to be you never give in when it's obvious somebody wants something for a selfish reason? If you want to do so much good for Gotham, what's so bad bout using THREE buildings to help more downtrodden? Show us, don't tell us it's a bad thing for Bruce to get this building. Even if it's just for his revenge to bury his past, it seems like a win-win for everybody to let him buy the place. I mean, I THINK the moral is you don't let rich people just do what they want for their own pleasure even if they offer you a reward, but the story isn't making it clear. It just makes it sound like Aeirs wants to keep his kind of run down building to help the needy instead of having three very clean and nice buildings to help the needy because... you know, Aeirs is our hero and he likes that place. I mean, it's not like Bruce wants to tear it down to put up a strip club or something.

So, now we switch over to Bruce.

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Bruce couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his lips at the protesters leader words.

"Wow offly pretentious that group."

"Yes, I would agree." Lucian said from beside him.

Huh, three good characters so far. Bruce calling Harry-sue on his bullshit and his group. I think this might be all ri-

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"My, my, their little leader is quite the beauty." Bruce mused as he took in the lithe beauty appearance. He had a great appreciation of beauty, be it male or even female. And this particular beauty hit him like a ton of bricks. Now that he was under his radar, Bruce had no intention of letting him go.

... Strike that. It's just Ginny and Some Dude.

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"And vicious, very vicious, from what I've been able to dig up on him." Lucien stated as he handed Bruce several files, all filled to the brim with Wynter's activities for the past two years. "He has the gang leaders running scared, pimps, dealers they all steer clear of the building. One unfortunate recipient of his rage stated that walking into that building was like walking into something far worst then death, with death at last your free." He continued, his eyes surveying the fearful and now skeptical board members.

They truly couldn't believe that someone so young, so small could do all of that.

Okay- what the hell? Is Bruce not Batman? Did he actually cope with his parents death a normal way and just wants to run his business or something!? That's Batman's job- Aeirs is apparently doing a good job of it on his own. So far there's no reason this should be a Dark Knight crossover- just give the DK characters different names and it's an original universe. What's the point of a crossover if it's not a true merging of two worlds? If you're gonna write a Batman crossover, have fucking Batman! I've read some Batman and HP crossovers I enjoyed, why? Because Bruce Wayne wasn't just being some pretty rich boy. Even if he was in their world (or vice versa), he was being Batman!

So, apparently one time Aeris beat up some poor fucker pretty badly.

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"Yes well, these weren't average cops." The man continued, "This was the S.W.A.T., that little beauty put three of them in the hospital and another three in the emergency room." A member of the board squawked, his form shaking badly as Wynters face flashed in and out of the screen.

Bruce flinched at that, he'd seen that on the news the other day. The men were badly injured and in need of immediate medical surgery. To think that little guy did that much damage was frightening.



Actually, let's go a step up. Since you act NOTHING like Harry, you could have been a good badfic on fictionpress without any kind of canon to drag down. The real Dark Knight would have maybe risen an eyebrow at the best. He's the goddamn Batman- think he's going to fear your precious Mary Sue just because he beat up a few S.W.A.T after the League of Shadows and the Joker?

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He watched as the little beauty looked up at him before sticking his middle finger.

"Well, vicious or not I want to meet this lion."

"Ar-are you sure sir."


'Let's see just how wild you truly are;'

Bah, fuck you, Bruce. this could've been somewhat cool if it was for the fact Bruce doesn't fear Aeris at all and just wants to put him in his place.

Of course this is yaoi so it's really about him wanting to fuck Aeris.

And now, to drown my frusturation with this story with Panera Bread.

Also, since this is only my second spork, anybody got any tips if you think I screwed up anywhere? Any advice would be appreciated c:

Last edited by Shadow Sora94 on Fri Jan 11, 2013 3:37 pm; edited 6 times in total
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Harley Quinn hyenaholic
Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach

Join date : 2009-06-12
Age : 33
Location : Taking that picture...

PostSubject: Re: The Jerk Sue romance of Bruce Wayne and Harry Po- I mean, Aeirs Wynter.   Tue Jan 08, 2013 7:11 pm

This writer also seems to forget that Bruce Wayne is well known in Gotham (apart from the Playboy crap) for lots of charity fundraising for victims of violent crime and funding free hospitals. And donating to animal shelters and the enviroment too.

Goddammit, even when he's a git he wouldn't just go around shutting homeless shelters.
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Shadow Sora94


Join date : 2012-12-14

PostSubject: Re: The Jerk Sue romance of Bruce Wayne and Harry Po- I mean, Aeirs Wynter.   Wed Jan 09, 2013 2:05 pm

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:
This writer also seems to forget that Bruce Wayne is well known in Gotham (apart from the Playboy crap) for lots of charity fundraising for victims of violent crime and funding free hospitals. And donating to animal shelters and the enviroment too.

Goddammit, even when he's a git he wouldn't just go around shutting homeless shelters.

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if this author hadn't even watched The Dark Knight or Batman Begins. It's been a while since I've seen either so I don't really remember just how much chairty he did -if at all- (saw The Dark Knight again a little after the release of TDKR, been a really long time since Begins), but there's no excuse to not have a basic grasp of the character you're writing :/

So with that out of the way, let's go into Chapter 3- Love the Meaning Of

... Odd word choice in that order, but all right.

Also, I want to get this part out of the way- in the first part I casually mentioned how it took Harry only two years to get his godforsaken death tr- umm, shelter into gear. Not in the story, but in a reviewer response she was kind enough to point out why-

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s for the building, who says that he's the only wizard or magical being in the area. It's been repaired and fixed through a lot of magic. And in regards to Wayne and him, Harry's inheritance isn't that big so it doesn't even compare to Wayne's fortune. But what does it matter if Harry's richer then Wayne, it all be his when he puts a ring on it.

... *sigh* Ok for real now- onto the chapter.

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"Put me down, right now." A green-eyed boy screeched from his place ontop of hulking security guards shoulders.

He didn't even do anything to warrant this. Ohhh! He should have just thrown a freaking rock through the window and save himself the trouble of obscurity.

"I am incapable of emotion is incapable of using question or exclamation marks. Put me down now. Aaaarh."

Ahhh, Aeris. Once again showing us why we shouldn't care for his well being. Even the workers aren't caring anymore- he's such an ass they're making room for him to be dragged away. That is just awesome. Also, this is supposed to be the guy that beat up six S.W.A.T. (still no clue why he isn't in jail after that) so badly he put them into surgery? He can't even get free from two guards!

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With a ding the elevator came to a stop, the first guard stepped forward whilst the second lifting him by his elbow forced him out in a non-to gentle way. Snarling in rage, he kicked the guard in the shin before his partner slapped him across the face.

Licking the blood off, he threw the man through the glass door.

"Now, now Mr. Wynters, I don't think it would reflect to good on you by attacking my guards." A voice broke out from behind him.

"Jesus Christ, how much money are you being sued for- you beat up so many people. Six S.W.A.T. now my guards? In fact, aren't you on parole now?"

"... Ummm..."


"... I'm going to jail, aren't I?"

"I would imagine so."

Ahh, Bruce. Not caring about his guards being attacked. Because this isn't Bruce Wayne- this is his evil twin, Douchebag Wayne. This ain't Harry Potter anymore, it's Aeris Wynter- so as far as I'm concerned, this isn't Bruce Wayne either. The real Bruce is training with the League of Shadows, still not back and ready to make the world a better place. Or at least, that's my headcannon. Please don't ruin it for me :c

That being said though, for all this story's shittiness so far, Douchebag Wayne is actually being pretty badass. You know, like how'd you expect Bruce to be when some immature little punk is in the same room as him?

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Bruce waved him over; nodding to his guards, he stepped into the room behind Aeirs and closed it. Effectively ensuing privacy for whatever perversion this man was intent on pushing onto him.

In a good story, this is when Bruce tells off the punk, and gets into a fight where Bruce doesn't require much effort to win. Will we get an awesome fight that will eventually lead up to a romance with a satisfying conclusion 8D?

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Bruce led him into a nicely furnished room before pushing him onto a red and black velvet loveseat.

'Oh shit'

This was seriously not good. He had just been led into some kind of seduction scheme. The room was dimly lit; there were scented candles all around them, a bottle of wine, strawberries, and clams. Wow the bastard was pulling all the stop. Looking around him, he didn't know whether or not to flattered or disgusted by this particular tactic. Frankly, he rather the man hit or attempt to imprison him then this mockery of seduction.

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnope 8D!

Well, we all knew the yaoi was coming, ladies and gentlemen- and here we are now. Because this is how Douchebag Wayne conducts his business- he doesn't try to talk to you like you're not a prostitute. You see, the author thinks Christian Bale is hot, so he solves all of life's problems not with vigilante justice, but with his penis.

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"I just want to talk." He finally said as he lounged comfortably against the couch opposite him. His impressively large form draped over it in a seductive manner. Wayne may be a total douche, but the man had a beautiful body. Years living alone had made Harry indifferent to the sexes of other instead; he saw their beauty, mind or appeal.

See what I mean?

"How are you so hot, Douchebag Wayne."

"I do a lot of exercise so I can stay strong enough to be a vigilante, the Batman. I trust you will keep my secret."

"I will, I promise I will you fucking shithead."

"I love you too."

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"You, me, champagne." He indicated with a wave. Reaching forward he popped said champagne open and offered Aeirs a glass. Wayne took a sip, staring at Aeirs from over his glass.

Aeirs bristled in outrage at the man's tone and manner; he fought furiously to keep his magic from lashing out at the man. Taking a deep breath, he gulped down the drink before slamming his glass ontop the table. Not particularly caring if it broke.

Why not? You're already immortal and get whatever you want despite being a douchebag.

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"How about you sample my foot, you ass. Followed by my personal favorite, me tasering you in your nuts." He snarled as he glared over at the man.

"Ouch, you are quite the vicious one." He said with a laugh. He was oblivious to the danger he was in. "I find it cute little kitten." He purred, his hands coming to rest on Aeirs knees.

Come on, author- now you're just being lame. Honestly, how more sterotypical could this conversation get? Will Aeris go tsundere all of a sudden and being a gentle little kitty? Will he grow a brain, realize this is bullshit, and walk out creating drama that will take ten chapters (or one if there's a sex scene) to resolve?

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Leaning back he took a strawberry and sucked seductively at its ends, his eyes resting on Wayne. The man licked his lips hungerily as he watched his tongue trace the fruit. Catching Aeirs knowing look he reared back sharply and schooled his features, his leg crossing over to hide his obvious erection.

"Ehh rich boy, I know you want to fuck me but lets keep this business-like, eh." Aeirs chortled menacingl

It turns out it's the fuck-on-the-first-date path. Ahh, well, at least Douchebag can't derail Bruce's character any further, right?

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"Very well, I want you to come work for me." Wayne said as he leaned back against his seat. The man's features were cold, completely devoid of any weakness. This was obviously the facade that his enemies saw within the boardroom. Humph, he'd face Malfoy and Snape on a daily basis this look did nothing to him, except make his insides tickle. He would be the first to admit that he thought that Bruce Wayne was an extremely handsome man, and the feeling was obviously reciprocated. Nevertheless, this was no time for him to fuck or be fucked; he had a promise to keep and people to protect. Standing up from his seat, he pulled himself up to his full height, green eyes boring venomously at the man.

"Never." He hissed, his green eyes taking an animalistic quality.

"Never say never, after all I am the prince of Gotham. I assure you that you would rather me an ally then an en-"

Remember, kids- if you don't like how heroic a main character is, as long as he's hot, remember you can derail his character big-time to make him the douchebag sexypants you want him to be as long as it's yaoi. Then as the reviews of this story prove, you'll have your fair share of fans as opposed to good authors who actually do write them in-character Trollface

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Bruce suddenly fell onto the ground and clutched at his groin as the beauty in front of him to taser him in his family jewels. Aeirs increasing the voltage, he took a great deal of pleasure in watching the man twist and squirm in pain. He did feel a pang of guilt, but he couldn't allow this man and all these feelings he build up in him free.

Ok, low-class, but still nice to see Douchebag knocked down a... couple of... pegs...


... Wait, hold on. He didn't kick hi- he fucking tasered him in the dick!?


Ladies and gentlemen, our PAINFULLY designated hero at his finest.

Holy SHIT. Aeris- why aren't you in prison? Why can't you have been caught and be spending an eternity in Azkaban? Not a big fan of it, but I can enjoy yaoi when done well. You however, sir, are yaoi-OC garbage. He could be fucking impotent! And of course, Aeris is perfect and as such is incapable of being in trouble- what does he do after all this? He just... leaves. And Bruce Wayne is left in agony.

And even Alfred manages to have his character derailed. Maybe he hates Douchebag as much as everyone else. But shit- you know the kind old man who loved Bruce as if he was his own child? What's his response to this whole horrific scenario?

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"Yes, you did a great job disrespecting him and now you tried to corrupt him. No wonder he sprayed you, be lucky all he did was taser you instead of just stomping on the family jewels." The man gently reminded him.

"Alfred, I just got tased in the groin. What the fuck?"

"But si-"

"Get out of my mansion."

Quote :
But Bruce was going at it in an entirely wrong way, he had no chance of winning the boy's heart at the rate he was going. He sincerely hoped that the boy would knock some sense into Bruce's head, and maybe push him into a serious relationship. This was starting to get interesting and unfortunately, for Bruce he was far too lost in him to see that he was falling.

But why? What's even remotely appealing about Aeris as a romantic interest? Just look at Ginny! UGH. This fucking story, I swear... but, what else can we expect from violent yandere relationship sues?

3/5 of the way done. And if this story dares updates itself during the time I work on this, I'm going to have to blow something up.
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PostSubject: Re: The Jerk Sue romance of Bruce Wayne and Harry Po- I mean, Aeirs Wynter.   Thu Jan 10, 2013 8:12 am

Nice going with the snark!

Can anyone throw any light on the choice of character name? Aeirs Wynter doesn't seem to make any sense at all. And I'm now wondering about myself, worrying about a name choice when there's so much else wrong with this story...
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PostSubject: Re: The Jerk Sue romance of Bruce Wayne and Harry Po- I mean, Aeirs Wynter.   Thu Jan 10, 2013 1:44 pm

Well, I cannot criticize your choice of fics, this is hilariously wreached.

Quote :
Humph, he'd face Malfoy and Snape on a daily basis this look did nothing to him, except make his insides tickle.
Ummm, what?
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Shadow Sora94


Join date : 2012-12-14

PostSubject: Re: The Jerk Sue romance of Bruce Wayne and Harry Po- I mean, Aeirs Wynter.   Thu Jan 10, 2013 3:31 pm

Dixie wrote:
Nice going with the snark!

Can anyone throw any light on the choice of character name? Aeirs Wynter doesn't seem to make any sense at all. And I'm now wondering about myself, worrying about a name choice when there's so much else wrong with this story...

Thank you~

Well, I'm just gonna assume Wynter is to show Aeirs is... a cold asshole? Throwng in a Y instead of I to make it speshul. You know, like Dark'ness? And Aeirs? ...

I have no clue. Honestly, I really think the author meant Aeris (which I've almost typed like twenty times during this thing). Hell, Google is very insistent it's Aeris and that Aeirs is wrong. So I honestly don't think that name even means anything. So Harry renammed himself that and him saying it's a meaningful name to that reporter just to be a douche as usual in this story.

Reepicheep-chan wrote:
Well, I cannot criticize your choice of fics, this is hilariously wreached.

What can I say? I'm aiming for really, really bad ;D

Think I already have an idea of what to am for next. It's complete and longer than anything else I've tried, but I still need to complete reading it.

Quote :
"FIM is a BIG MISTAKE to me... its horrible… so I guess an alternate universe is in order!"

Ahhh, but that train wreck is for another day. Probably delayed a bit since I'm going back to school soon, although if I can just get one update a day...

Anyways, back to Douchebag Wayne and Aeirs Wynter.

Also, this chapter is pretty short, thank God for that. However, it's also the only half-decent chapter, because for the first time, Aeirs... well, you'll see.

Chapter 4- Love the Unexplicable Pull

OK, really? Come on, is "The Unexplicable Pull of Love" really that bad? Doesn't sound mysterious or unique at all, just awkward. Bad gimmick is bad.

Quote :

Harry, damn….Aeirs groaned as he slowly pulled himself onto his feet. He just came back from an all night rave, courtesy of his tenants and friends. Needless to say, he was in desperate need of a nap and a pepper-up potion.

"Guys, Bruce Wayne just tried to fuck me in order to get the building so I tasered him in the dick. And they still want to tear down the building."

"Awww, sucky. Want to leave our hundred person protest that's gonna get international attention to get hammered?"

"Of course."

Quote :
Pausing in front of the door in remembrance of what happened the first time he moved to the city.

"Who is it?"

"Bruce, Bruce Wayne."

"And the paparazzi, as well as the camera man who's gonna watch us fuck which I'm going to sell."

Quote :
Ughh! He groaned dammit the man was like a cockroach he just wouldn't give up. Didn't he understand no means no. What the hell did he have to do to get his point across, staple his balls to the walls. He grimaced at that, he didn't even want to think about that undulating task, maybe he shift that to someone else. Raina, now that bitch was particularly vicious.

For reasons I don't understand, this author has a serious problem with exclamation points and question marks. And really, Aeirs? You fucking tazed him in the penis, beat up S.W.A.T. for no good reason and make them require surgery, and call probably far more honest people than you prostitutes on TV... well, you might as well have. Bullshit on making people think Aeirs wouldn't do that to Bruce. Harry Potter is a good person and wouldn't, but your OC Aeirs is a bigger douchebag than a Lifetime movie villain. Oh, and joy, another character that isn't important. Anybody remember Chloe and Audrey from chapter 1? The author sure doesn't.

Quote :
"You again, didn't I teach you a lesson already. Or you hoping for a black eye to go with your bruised and sore balls." He asked in his patent mocking tone.

The man didn't even bat an eyelash at his word, instead he just gave him that creepy smile before handing him an envelope. "Actually, I'm here to formerly give you this."

"Wh-what the? You dirty bastard!"

Dear Mr. Wynters, you are hereby required to appear before a court of Magistrates Court, on November 19th of this year.

... Holy shit Yeah

Oh, that is awesome! As much as I hate Douchebag during this story, this is easily one of the single best moment of the whole story. Not even flinching, just handing him a piece of paper that kicks Aeirs' ass?

Quote :
"You can't be serious." He hissed in disbelief. "What the hell are the charges?"


"Aeirs, you're my Mary Sue future husband/fuck buddy. Surely you aren't this stupid?"

"B-But I haven't done anything worth being thrown in jail!"

"...... Ra's, kill me now."

So, let's see. He's wanted for assault against law officials, resisting arrest, solicitation, unlawful entry, battery, assault and two counts of attempted murder.

Douchebag says he can make all the problems just go away. Aeirs angrily rejects this and Douchebag asks him just why is he being so stubborn over this.

Quote :
"Because I can and it's the only way I know how to survive." He tearfully admitted. "Good day Mr. Wayne."

"I also used to survive by being a good friend and as such being blessed with good friends who always helped me when I needed them, even if we didn't get along, and even a wonderful fiancée who tried to keep me out of prison. I also learned to survive by being a good person and learning that love is the strongest force in the universe, which is the reason I was able to defeat a wizard with much more powerful magical abilities than me. But then I realized that shit is for pussies and not awesome yaoi guys like me so I rejected all that and gave away a baby magical Hitler and now I'm a douchebag."

"... OK yeah I don't know what the hell I ever saw in you. I'm gonna go be a vigilante now."

Quote :
Bruce was left standing in the hall, feeling absolutely ashamed of himself. But dammit he wanted him so bad, wasn't that what love was. You took the good with the bad. Perhaps he should change his strategy, obviously the direct path lead him to a brick wall. Maybe subtlety was the way; like his father use to say a path less travel was a path more easily subdued.

Why do you love this man so much!? Yes, to the public you're a playboy billionare and shit, but why did you just fall in love with him at first sight? You know, if you just have the hots for him (which so far is the ONLY reason you've given, Douchebag), since you obviously have next to no morals like Bruce Wayne does, I find it hard to believe you could easily hire somebody in a gay club to fuck. It's like Naurto fanfics when after sparring Naruto and Sasuke fall in love and have sex on the training grounds right there.

Well though, that ends this chapter. There's only one left in this deadfic- the trial. In which Aeirs is dragged to court for all the blatantly, inexcusable and blatantly illegal things he's done.

Spoiler alert- a not guilty that would make the Joker proud.

Last edited by Shadow Sora94 on Thu Jan 10, 2013 4:33 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: The Jerk Sue romance of Bruce Wayne and Harry Po- I mean, Aeirs Wynter.   Thu Jan 10, 2013 3:46 pm

Quote :
What the hell did he have to do to get his point across, staple his balls to the walls. He grimaced at that, he didn't even want to think about that undulating task, maybe he shift that to someone else.
Undulating? Are Bruce Wayne's balls eels now?
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Shadow Sora94


Join date : 2012-12-14

PostSubject: Re: The Jerk Sue romance of Bruce Wayne and Harry Po- I mean, Aeirs Wynter.   Thu Jan 10, 2013 8:20 pm

All right, I was personally hoping on finishing this up tomorrow- one chapter a day. But I really wanna try starting up on something else before I go back to classes, so for now, it's time to finish off this trainwreck of a crossover. Chapter 5.

And oh boy. It's the trial, so we all know it's gonna be a treat. But it gets even better- it's political! Goodie! The author is pro-life, and tries to put in her opinion on this so awkwardly it drags down the entire story just one glorious time during this finale. And it doesn't matter if you're pro-life or choice, oh God does it make Aeirs bring his douchebag levels to one final extreme.

So, with that, Chapter 5- Fever Before the Madness Destroys The Reader's Brain

We start off with Aeirs entering the courtroom with a detailed description of everything he's wearing. It's surprisingly not a tank top with some jeans like you'd expect from this asshole, but of course it's unnecessary. Douchebag even points out he wasn't expecting him to wear a suit... goodie. And also noting how feminine Aeirs apparently looks. Remember yaoi authors- even if he should have muscles the size of a bowling bowl, if he isn't the seme, he shouldn't look the role :U

And Alfred is sitting with Douchebag. Why?

Aeirs turned in his seat to stare curiously at the man sitting besides Bruce.

Quote :
'I know what you are'

His (Harry's) eyes narrowed at that.

'Don't worry your secret is safe with me, although my young ward will hardly be put off' The older man teased.

... All right, apparently Alfred was going to be a wizard in this story? And young ward? ... Oh God, no. Is he the Goddamn Batman in this verse? And is he like All Star Batman and gonna kidnap Aeirs? Oh GOD.

Quote :
Bruce stared between them in confusion before turning to lock eyes with Aeirs; the tiny boy gave him a small smile. Bruce could barely contain his glee at the smile.


"... Bruce, I don't want to be friends anymore."

Speaking of which, Dawes stared at Douchebag accusingly. Why? ... I don't know.

Quote :
Aeirs watched as the Judge entered the room from the side. The man nodded his head towards his bailiff. Sweeping his gaze across the courtroom his eyes fell upon Aeirs form, his features softened a bit at the sight of him.

"Well Aeirs we meet again."

"I'm still recovering from the headache I had last time you were in this court. Please don't be such a douchebag again."

"No promises."

Sooo, who's the prosecutor for this case? Apparently the same man who let Joe Chill walk away after he killed Thomas and Martha. Because, you know. Drama!

Quote :
Bruce whole body began to shake. This man, this unscrupulous, greedy man had destroyed his life and kept his parents souls from reaching absolution. This man…..was dead.

Well, Douchebag Wayne obviously doesn't have many morals. Why should he have his no-kill code? Oh wait, no League of Shadows I guess. Surprisingly, the judge is uncorrupted. Unfortunately this makes him stupid as hell for letting Aeirs get his not-guilty later on. The judge then notices that Wayne is in the building, and asks him why he's there.

Quote :
Malhone all but sneered at the man, Raines was probably one of the fews non-dirty judges. Malhone always seemed to have a problem coaxing the man to his side, although it did helped that he frightened and blackmailed the jury and witnesses. Raines knew but alas he couldn't prove anything.

Drawing himself to his full height, he stared down at his parent's murderer by association. "I am here as a witness to defendan-"

"No he isn't, Mr. Wayne's purpose here has no precedence to my case." Aeirs interrupted, he didn't know what Wayne was up to but he seriously didn't need nor want for him to get involved in this. Malhone and him went way back, this case, this whole trial was a witch hunt.

Whatever, floats the boat I guess. Why isn't Raines dead, though? This city should still be dominated by Falcone. This is actually pretty irritating, especially when there's some authors that like overlooking that to put in their own uncorrectable OCs. There's a fucking reason there was so much crime before Batman set out on his personal crusade, suethors. It didn't just happen to be ultra shitty by chance, it was a well organized machine. When Rachel tried fighting it, she was almost killed for God's sake! And becoming a judge isn't some overnight thing- in the Nolanverse at least, this guy should be dead

Quote :
He noticed that the district attorney's assistant Rachel Dawes gave him a suspicious look. He sneered at the rather plain looking young woman, causing her to gasp. He sniggered lightly at the scandalized look she was throwing at him. Bitch.

Well, fuck you too. Really, even when the story is dying it gives no reasons why to care about Aeirs well being.

Quote :
"If we are now done with all these pointless distractions-," He said looking pointedly at Aeirs, the latter of which flipped him off nonchalantly. "-court is now in session." He pounded his hammer onto its gavel.

Also, always remember this when you want to write a court scene- always think Phoenix Wright. Always. You can do whatever you want, be as rude as you want, HIT people, and the judge will allow it. If something is only possible in one fandom because how it's world works, never fret- again, just add yaoi and people will love it !

Quote :
"And for the defendant."

Aeirs shared a look with the woman next to him, before standing up no lawyer in sight to defend him. "Aeirs Wynters."

"Preposterous he isn't a lawyer, he has no formal education." The man screeched causing several members of the court, Judge included to flinch.

... And you care why, Marlhone? Isn't this like a prosecutor's wet dream? Really big case and some guy with no legal experience wants to represent himself? Hell, I wouldn't be complaining.

Quote :
"Very well, he can be his own laywer. I very will hope you have made your peace, because I promise you won't be leaving this courtroom in handcuffs." He promised venomously.

Aeirs merely rolled his eyes at the man's threat. "And you will be leaving here with a bruised scrotum to go with your bruised ego."

Again, folks. Anything can happen in court even if it's not PW- just add yaoi and nobody will complain 8D!

Quote :
"Order in my Court, order." The judge roared as he hits his gravel. "That is enough Mr. Wynters and Mr. Malhone. I suggest that you keep your childish bickering to yourselves, because this is a courtroom not a playground.

"I mean, I'm not really going to do anything to stop it, but I'm old and I have a gavel so stfu!"

Quote :
The man's face flushed red, before he dabbed at his forehead with his perfectly tailored handkerchief. "Your honor, Mr. Wynters has repeatedly ignored our summons, warning and even assistants. Now he's injured several members of the law." He snarled out, pointing his index towards Aeirs in an accusing manner.

Aeirs was seriously contemplating breaking that offending limb.

Well, that's a pretty fucking solid case. So how do we get past all that?

Quote :
"They were beating up on a twelve year old girl." Aeirs argued, his form trembling in memory of that day.

Ahh, the Hand Wave of God. Good writing 101- always have a list of convenient asspulls, you never know when you might write your story to a point you need one to save your Mary Sue.

So, the prosecutor guy calls the twelve year old a prostitute. Dawes and everyone else is naturally disgusted.

And now, we put the story on hold to bring you the horribly tragic and angst-ridden side-story of Charlotte. We've never heard of her before, but her story is important enough to put the plot on hold so the author can talk about her pro-life views, as well as make us try to cry.

So, Charlotte's dad was a pimp. Down the road, Charlotte had her voice box crushed and will probably never talk again. Also her vagina and uterus have been so scarred and damaged, she will never have child -or even sex- ever again. And apparently, she's the same as the Nevilles who were tortured with a curse into insanity- just an empty shell now. Because why not reference canon? Also, she was pregnant-
Quote :
The poor little boy had been born a stillborn so no criminal actions would be pursued, seeing as the fetus wasn't technically a living person.

Now this is when shit gets so sad and pathetic, it's hilarious.

Quote :
He hadn't taken his first breath out of the womb so he wasn't considered a human being. Wizards on the other hand believed that the moment children were consummated their lives began, abortions were frowned on heavily. And those witches and wizards that were raped tended to give up their offspring's to wealthier families, it was rare that they raised them alone. It just went on to show how truly barbaric muggles were. Charlotte mother had attempted to gain custody of her granddaughter/step-child, but Aeirs lawyer pal Grendel had sent an injunction barring her access. Stating that she previously fled on her maternal responsibilities and continued to allow her daughter to be subjugated to a less then safe conditions.

And then it goes on to say her 19 year old boyfriend and fiancee is a rich Pureblood and shit. But honestly, who cares?

Yes, folks, like any outrageously bad badfic, we now show that anybody who disagrees with the author is bad! If you're not pro-life, you're an awful person and a barbarian!

... Oh wait, you're a barbarian anyway!

According to this story, if you're a Muggle, you're a barbarian. You know what means? The pregnant teen runaways Aeirs shelters? Barbarians! The homeless? Barbarians! The recovering drug addicts? Barbarians! Bruce Wayne? Barbarian! Those S.W.A.T. who were trying to stop Aeirs? Bar-fucking-barians! Yup, in one statement, the author once again destroyed any defense Aeirs has for running his buildings, while also insulting every living people on the planet- because according the story, you're a barbarian no matter what as long as you can't use magic :3

I know I did this already, but I think it deserves it.

*clears throat*



So, with the sad and tragic story mostly only put in for the author to state their political beliefs done, we move back to the main story. Aeirs is going to be springing his master plan, you see.

Quote :
"That's hearsay your honor, even if the girl in question had been molested why not take her claim to the proper authorities and not Mr. Wynters. A known radical and terrorist-"

"Order in my courtroom."

"Oh please, he's a cop no offense they'd probably try to fu-." Aeirs took a deep breath before continuing. "Your honor I was molested for almost seventeen years by uncle, not even related by the man by blood. He would sneak into my room at all hours of the night, touching me forcing me to commit unbelievable things with him."

"I guess I should be thankful, to this day my fellatio skill has no par." He added with a shrug.

Some of the people on the courtroom chuckled at his joke.

Ahahahahahahahahaha! It's funny because lying about being molested by your uncle and saying it gives you great blowjob skills and having the court laugh with you is funny! ... Oh, wait, it isn't? It's a disgusting joke you'd expect The Joker to say just to fuck with people's heads? And you're a disgusting person to say this after just discussing a twelve year old girl who was pimped out by her dad? Ohhh, my bad!

But, honestly, it is kind of hilarious. After this tragic and depressing story all about this girl being violated and raped and abused, we open with a joke saying being molested by your uncle was a good thing since you can suck a dick like a pro?

Honestly, how much would you be willing to pay to punch Aeirs in the face? I'm interested.

Quote :
"But the fact is no one helped me, no one protected me. My mother's sister turned a blind eye, hoping that by giving me to him he wouldn't leave her for his impossibly hot secretary. No one helped me then and no one has helped me since. I learned at a very young age to depend on myself, and myself alone to get through life."

The courtroom listened with bated breath at his words.

"Now tell me why would she trust the same man who paid her father to sleep with her. Rapists the lot of you, have no honor. The cops of this city make the mob bosses seem like little-little agrh, its indescribable just how bad they are." He hissed out in frustration. "People see a cop coming they run the other way. There's no loyalty or love between them, the citizens of this city unfortunately can't even depend on those who swore to uphold justice and to protect them from those of ill intent."

Yeah, sorry Aeirs, but I think most sane readers have already lost all respect for you at this point and don't really care.

Quote :
"Now tell me why would she trust the same man who paid her father to sleep with her. Rapists the lot of you, have no honor. The cops of this city make the mob bosses seem like little-little agrh, its indescribable just how bad they are." He hissed out in frustration. "People see a cop coming they run the other way. There's no loyalty or love between them, the citizens of this city unfortunately can't even depend on those who swore to uphold justice and to protect them from those of ill intent."

"No offense." He added in an apologetic manner, not sounding sorry in the slightest. "But luckily are some good ones like Sergeant James Gordon, to balance the bad. My first day in this country and he took the time to escort me to immigration, for dinner with his family and finally to my home." He said as a mean of example, proof that the city had complexly gone to the dogs, as the muggles would say.

At that moment, James Gordon became so enraged he actually teamed up with Falcone and helped murder Aeirs. The end.

Quote :
"He's one of the most decent humans being I've had the pleasure to meet, he truly believes this city can be saved. I wasn't born here but I came to love this place, it's the first time I've ever had a place that I could truly call my home." He wouldn't lie, the fact the man shared his father's name and his sense of justice, did make his friendship with him that much easy to maintain. But the man was genuinely an okay person, his partner on the other hand was a complete pig he knew for a fact that the man visited several of his clients for their services. It was sad that his higher-ups were unable to see the potential. He was like a piece of coal just waiting to break away from the fold and turn into that priceless (expensive), glimmering gem.

Bruce made a note to reward the man for his generosity; he had unknowingly assisted the man who would soon become his consort.

... Is Douchebag still only caring about sex and only sex?

Quote :
"Now I apologized to those cops, but the evidence and witnesses that they are attempting to bring into the courtroom are unreliable and immiscible."

You fucking beat them so badly they needed surgery!

"Hey, umm, I'm sorry I beat you up. But you really deserved it when you were trying to stop me from beating up that douchebag."

"I'm paralyzed now."

"My condolences."

Quote :
"They were off duty at the time, thus nullifying my so-called attackagainst officers of the city." Aeirs elaborated with a malicious smile.

............. So beating them to submission is A-OK then? God, what a fucked up statement :l I don't know much about law, but I know that in no-way changes the fact Aeirs committed a serious crime.

Quote :
It's pathetic Malhone, you and the so-called police department can't even capture a masked vigilante. At least I stay within the perimeter of the laws. Next time pay attention to your own laws, your lack of attention makes you look pathetic." He maliciously added. His features partially alighted in glee at the man's ashen colored face.








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Uuuuughhh.... O... okay... I think I'm better now...

Quote :
"Wow he's good." Bruce whispered to Alfred. The older man merely smiled at his ward, it would Bruce was falling even deeper into Aeirs web. If it was for the better or worst they would soon find out.


Quote :
"You have a way with words Mr. Wynters, or should I say your tongue." Raines quirked with a smile, he obviously found Aeirs presence in the courthouse to be entertaining.


Quote :
Aeirs nodded at his entourage before making a beeline for the restroom, he needed to reapply his glamour. His bruises from the fight last night were starting to show. He'd barley applied his glamour when he was suddenly pulled into a punishing hold, his assailant was someone he was very much familiar with.

"Why are you being so damned stubborn?" Bruce hissed as he pressed the smaller male against the wall.

"Really Wayne must you accost me in the bathroom. I hardly think that this is the time and place for your lust to be sated."

Bruce roared in anger.

"Me want fuck Gary Stu!"

And after five fucking chaptes, we finally get the sex scene. Surprise surprise, it fucking sucks.

Quote :
"Fuck me please!" He pleaded in a broken voice.


He jumped at the sound of a door being opened. Turning around he so that he was left alone, Wayne had fled.

'Fuck, he was still hard'

At least I can get the pleasure for such yaoi garbage, Douc- ...... Bruce didn't manage to get off.

Quote :
"I am guilty." Was the first thing Aeirs said.

Gasps rang out through the courtroom at his admittance; Dawson stared at him suspiciously (smart girl), James looked worried, Bruce was a mixture of shock and anger, Malhone was practically dancing in glee. Whereas Alfred merely arched a brow, he unlike the others knew just how Aeirs played.

"Order in the court." Raines shouted as he banged his gravel. "You do realize that you will face thirty to fifty years in jail with no possible probation for you terrorist actions." He said as he stared at Aeirs, disappointment ringing out in his voce.


Quote :
"Your honor, I am not surprised he is afterall a filthy terrorist monster. He's probably teaching those kids at his centers how to use guns." Malhone sneered.

The man was a complete idiot; he had just walked into Aeirs plan. The first part anyway.

There was a shout of outrage at Malhone's words, a lot of the courtroom viewers

"Terrorist!" Aeirs repeated with a delirious laugh. "This coming from the DA who lets criminals walk out of his courtroom every day, oh please don't make me laugh. Ha!Ha!Ha." he mockingly drawled, boredom etched into his every word.

You know, if the Joker did that laugh, it'd probably be pretty awesome, not to mention intimidating. You though, who gives a fuck? Also, nice time to FINALLY use more exclamation points. Such a shame you did it Aeirs is supposed to be bored. I don't think he's using much emotion.

Quote :
"How dare you! There were no evidence of such allegations." He screeched out indignantly; face turning blotchy purple reminiscent of uncle Vernon. Ah, uncle Vernon he wondered if the old bastard heart finally gave out on him.

"No how dare you, this case is just a way for you to get me out of the street so your employers can start giving crack back to the destitute. How many little girls does your boss have prostituting for him again this week? You my dear sir are a disgrace to the judicial system."

This whole trial is a disgrace to the judicial system. Point invalid.

Quote :
"This whole case is a mockery of the justice system and you; you should be ashamed to even call yourself a DA." Dawson hissed from her seat, obviously not amused by her bosses childish and downright offensive antics. "Your honor, in light of the personal grievance between my peer and the defendant we request that this case be turned to another and otherwise-"

She may not agree with Malhone, but she did think that Aeirs needed to be put away in prison. He was far to dangerous and uncontrollable, and it didn't help that he already had Bruce in his corner.

Once again, I was wrong on how many good characters there are. It's three- Ginny, Some Dude, and Rachel.

Quote :
"I agree, the case of the city of Gotham versus Wynters. I find Mr. Wynters not guilty-"

"Hu- wait a second! That's not what we wanted!"

Remember kids, juries also don't exist when it comes to big serious crimes. So if no sane jury would ever find your Mary Sue not guilty, just make sure the shit judge does and all will be good."Silence, the case is inconclusive and full of holes. One would think that the city prosecutors had better things to do then wasting city resources for a mockery of a trial. That is all, good day." Raines growled before walking into his chamber in a flurry of robes.

Quote :
'Ahh, Professor Snape, how he missed the greasy git,' Aeirs mused, with a whimsical smile.

... I'm really going to hope that was just a really, really shitty comparison.

Quote :
"This isn't over Wynters." Malhone threatened as he pushed his meager evidence back into his case.

"Oh, Malhone one more thing."

"What?" The man asked dumbly.

Giving his best smile, he leaned his body closer to Malhone. The man licked his lips in arousal at Aeirs proximity. Still smiling at the man, Aeirs grabbed his crotch and twisted his balls. "I promised you a bruised scrotum didn't I."

... And that's the end.

I'm not shitting you, that's the end of the deadfic. Aeirs is gonna rape a guy. That's it. After that the only thing left is a story the author heard on some doctor that preformed late-term abortions that deserves no sporking. Really though, that's the end. Really, what else would you expect from him?

Buuuut, yes. It's FINALLY FUCKING OVER. GOD, this pissed me off SO MUCH WORSE than Hotaru Hikari Ishtar ever did- and fuck, that story really got to me.

So with that, that's the end of the spoking. Now, to read this MLP a bit more before I work on starting to spork it. A preview for that one-

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Thanks for reading and have a beautiful night :3!
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The Scientist

Join date : 2010-10-05
Location : Under Strangeland's Iron Sea

PostSubject: Re: The Jerk Sue romance of Bruce Wayne and Harry Po- I mean, Aeirs Wynter.   Sun Jan 27, 2013 9:39 am

Jesus, that was stupid. I feel sorry for poor Bruce, though. Crying or Very sad
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Shadow Sora94


Join date : 2012-12-14

PostSubject: Re: The Jerk Sue romance of Bruce Wayne and Harry Po- I mean, Aeirs Wynter.   Sun Jan 27, 2013 6:47 pm

The Scientist wrote:
Jesus, that was stupid. I feel sorry for poor Bruce, though. Crying or Very sad

Honestly, I can't feel sorry for him or Aeirs. As disappointing as it was to see judging from line he really IS Batman in this story, along with Aeirs, he's a huge fucking asshole. In fact, everyone is- even Alfred laughed at him after being tased in the dick!

The only character you should feel sorry for is Ginny, imo. She's the only sane and properly functioning human being in this whole mess.
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The Scientist

Join date : 2010-10-05
Location : Under Strangeland's Iron Sea

PostSubject: Re: The Jerk Sue romance of Bruce Wayne and Harry Po- I mean, Aeirs Wynter.   Mon Jan 28, 2013 2:35 am

I guess that's true.... he, during that godawful "tased in the groin" sequence, all I could hear in my mind was Cartman's voice: "you do not shoot people in the dick, Butters!".

Seriously, the two main characters in this were wildly OOC and disgustingly obnoxious. I wonder why some suethors believe that being a bratty sociopath equals being a strong character. It never works.
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Hot and Botherer
Hot and Botherer

Join date : 2009-06-10

PostSubject: Re: The Jerk Sue romance of Bruce Wayne and Harry Po- I mean, Aeirs Wynter.   Tue Jan 29, 2013 5:02 am

Quote :
"Harry do you know what your doing?" A beautiful red-haired woman asked.

"Of course Ginny." A bespectacled lad replied as he pulled contents from within their shelves.

Why is this so bad? Somehow this is the most obnoxious it gets, for me, personally.
"[words]," a [adjective] [noun] [verb] bla bla bla. The other day I clicked on a story, read the first sentence, and clicked back. The first sentence?

"Bloody hell!" a tall man cursed.

Or something to that effect, anyway. What is it about that that is just so bad? I can't put my finger on it, but if I had it on a piece of paper, I'd be tearing it up and throwing it away. Gawd.
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PostSubject: Re: The Jerk Sue romance of Bruce Wayne and Harry Po- I mean, Aeirs Wynter.   

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The Jerk Sue romance of Bruce Wayne and Harry Po- I mean, Aeirs Wynter.
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