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 A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)

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JoshCube



Join date : 2010-11-03

PostSubject: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Wed Dec 26, 2012 3:45 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] (Cover and song.)

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] (Actual fic.)

Since people enjoyed the 2005 version, I'd thought I'd spice things up a bit.
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EileenK98
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:12 pm

Quote :
If you have read the original 2005 version of A Nintendo Fan's Lust, this re-write is an update that contains more detailed sexual scenes, and is more explicit compared to the original version.

So . . . it needed more sex? According to whom?
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Wed Dec 26, 2012 9:23 pm

Well go figure. Is this legit?

Quote :
I’m getting married to my fiancée next year.
Haha, no.

Quote :
The Samus character is also not the blonde version from the new age Metroid games, but the classic green haired version from the original NES Metroid. I did not want to have three blondes total because I wanted to spice things up a bit.
Different haircolors = spicing things up. Nice to know the grand sum everything that makes a lady unique is in her hair.

Oh jeez, the original beginning with Joshcube beating up Mother Brain, Bowser, and Ganon has been replaced with an amazingly sexist diatribe about how slutty modern women are:
Quote :
The women now days were sluts; gold-diggers; wore pants; smoked cigarettes; dressed like hookers with tight jeans and big breast implants;
Damn those women and their... pants.

Quote :
and now I lay here on my bed with my iPod, listening to sad songs while the rain continues to pour.
OK, so this is a parody, right? Some guy re-wrote the classic Joshcube fic for shits and giggles?

Quote :
What a sad mistake I made, rejecting all these women that came to me. I feel that they will be gone forever like a rose petal in the wind; a furnace going out; a shooting star in the sky.
Right????

Oh man, I cannot even get past this intro, what even is this?

Oh shit, it is no longer a script-fic. Bitch went full prose.

Quote :
“Well, I am an expert at keeping the body fresh and healthy with massages.” Said Samus, tapping dust from her cigarette into the tray.
Yes.

Quote :
“Here, I will work your arms. Peach can do something else perhaps.” Said Zelda, beginning to massage my arm.
Yesssssss.
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Kari Izumi
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Thu Jan 03, 2013 2:07 am

Quote :
Since people enjoyed the 2005 version
AHAHAHAHAHA, I can't wait to post this on ED

Quote :
The main reason I wrote the story in the first place was for self-pleasure
Really? I don't think anyone would have ever guessed!

Colbert
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Los Christabel

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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:08 am

It says a LOT about a writer when an English course is required to fix a fic that should never have been written in the first place, and then doesn't bother to address the majority of the errors and issues. This is porn so LAME that Harley wouldn't give it a second glance. So BORING that it wouldn't get even a priest off. It is a diatribe against women who don't want Josh, in an effort to point out TO US how wrong they were.

Well, no, Josh. If what you wrote is what you expect of women, THEY WERE NOT WRONG ABOUT YOU. And as a side note, self-pity and porn do not mix. The mental image I have of you is quite pathetic now.
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Kakashifan727
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Mon Jan 28, 2013 4:45 pm

I'm skimming through the "disclaimer" and it just makes me facepalm and lol. What a prick this guy sounds like.

Shit, I can't get through the blocks of text. Six sentences, at max is what a paragraph's length should be. Maybe.
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V3N0M
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:50 pm

Quote :
The women now days were sluts; gold-diggers; wore pants; smoked cigarettes; dressed like hookers with tight jeans and big breast implants;

Quote :
“Well, I am an expert at keeping the body fresh and healthy with massages.” Said Samus, tapping dust from her cigarette into the tray.
Yes.

oops
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Eeveegou
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Sun Feb 17, 2013 9:37 am

This is great. A confession/suicide note wrought with sexual inexperience and a desire to "take somebody before they take him." Also, I can't help but notice that each girl is some kind of unique sex object, you know, for variety. Kind of like trying to make a decision on which tie he's going to wear for the evening and ultimately deciding on wearing all seven of them. It would look rediculous just as this fic is rediculous.

It's also pretty funny that I'm right now listening to the "Revenge of the Nerds" theme song.
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Sun Feb 17, 2013 10:20 am

Writes shitty fap fodder because he can't get laid. "Updates" the "story" 7 years later because he still can't get laid; takes the opportunity to pontificate about sluts and bitches and... women wearing pants. Continues to wonder why he can't get laid.

Rinse and repeat.
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Eeveegou
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Sun Feb 17, 2013 10:30 am

Some of our best artists are sexually frustrated and angry at women.
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Sun Feb 17, 2013 11:08 am

Eeveegou wrote:
Some of our best artists are sexually frustrated and angry at women.

Some of our best politicians too
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Sun Feb 17, 2013 6:09 pm

Quote :
I pushed further, and my dick was having trouble breaking her (Samus's) hymen. She was such a tomboy that her cunt was super tight, and her hymen was well knit together.
Oh man that is sure how hymens work right?

Quote :
“It’s not painful if you do it right. You guys remember when Misty and I fisted each other? There was no pain at all because we knew how to do it.” Said Samus.
Waaaaait a minute.
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Kakashifan727
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Mon Feb 18, 2013 1:28 pm

I'm...I'm...sex ed. Does no one teach this anymore? Fuck, I know more about sex than I think I need to, and I've never had it. Yes, I did just say that, and I never understood what the big deal is with that anyways. Shit like this makes me giggle though, it's just too good.
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Wed Feb 20, 2013 9:07 am

Kakashifan727 wrote:
I'm...I'm...sex ed. Does no one teach this anymore? Fuck, I know more about sex than I think I need to, and I've never had it. Yes, I did just say that, and I never understood what the big deal is with that anyways. Shit like this makes me giggle though, it's just too good.

Woo, fellow ace... or something.

But yeah. We never learned about hymens in my (admittedly shitty) school sex ed, and even the couple books I had only mentioned them for the sake of mentioning them. Couple that with all of the combined cultural whisperings about how sex is generally painful the first time and, well, you're probably gonna assume some stuff. Like that first time sex for the vagina'd is on par with outpatient surgery. And that... the hymen is at the end of a veritable miniature golf course inside the vaginal canal and... yeah.

I will say, though, that just as I was beginning to realize just how wrong all the fanfiction hymen talk was, I had sex and it turned out to be everything that a 14-year-old girl dreams(?) about, much to my (and his bedsheet's) chagrin.
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Kakashifan727
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Fri Feb 22, 2013 4:13 pm

I figure it would hurt, mostly if the hymen isn't 'opened' by dong certain stuff. (I hear horseback riding and other shit makes it tear or something.) I mean, it probably isn't as bad as I think it would be, but it probably depends on the size of the dick and how tight the vagina is. We never covered hymens or lube or...mostly sex in general in my sec ed. IU think it was more about hormones and how they change our bodies into wanting sex and how it makes a baby. I know we never talked about hymens, or other varying factors as to what makes sex painful or even about ejaculation or how sex makes you pregnant in the first place.

It was just lol. Thing is, I had a Catholic education so that probably changes shit up a bit.
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Hot Cancer
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Fri Feb 22, 2013 4:20 pm

Not to scare you off, my ex likened her first time to "being split in two". (And no, that's not me boasting about my enormous manhood. I wasn't her first sexual partner).

Enjoy.
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Fri Feb 22, 2013 4:32 pm

^ Yeah that sort of thing is pretty variable. What is less variable is that girls who have been fisted typically do not have much in the way of a hymen left afters :\ (unless anal fisting I guess????)
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Fri Feb 22, 2013 4:39 pm

Reepicheep-chan wrote:
^ Yeah that sort of thing is pretty variable. What is less variable is that girls who have been fisted typically do not have much in the way of a hymen left afters :\ (unless anal fisting I guess????)

I'm picturing the hymen excitedly seeing an object approacheth, but upon realizing it's not a dick, moves out of the way with an annoyed groan. "I refuse to die like this," it grumbles with disgust and waits for the fist to get out of its house.
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Kakashifan727
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Fri Feb 22, 2013 5:00 pm

LOL. The poor, poor hymens. They can never catch a break.

Bleh. I need to focus. 7 page paper due, only 3 pages done. I get too easily distracted.
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Eeveegou
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Fri Feb 22, 2013 11:55 pm

fapfapfap wrote:
I'm picturing the hymen excitedly seeing an object approacheth, but upon realizing it's not a dick, moves out of the way with an annoyed groan. "I refuse to die like this," it grumbles with disgust and waits for the fist to get out of its house.

Ahahahahahaha!!

This guy though, I'd imagine he is the type that deals with rejection by going home and just screaming into a mirror.
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WD40
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Sat Feb 23, 2013 1:09 am

Eeveegou wrote:
fapfapfap wrote:
I'm picturing the hymen excitedly seeing an object approacheth, but upon realizing it's not a dick, moves out of the way with an annoyed groan. "I refuse to die like this," it grumbles with disgust and waits for the fist to get out of its house.

Ahahahahahaha!!

This guy though, I'd imagine he is the type that deals with rejection by going home and just screaming into a mirror dakimakura .

FTFY
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Eeveegou
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Sat Feb 23, 2013 9:24 pm

WD40 wrote:
Eeveegou wrote:
fapfapfap wrote:
I'm picturing the hymen excitedly seeing an object approacheth, but upon realizing it's not a dick, moves out of the way with an annoyed groan. "I refuse to die like this," it grumbles with disgust and waits for the fist to get out of its house.

Ahahahahahaha!!

This guy though, I'd imagine he is the type that deals with rejection by going home and just screaming into a mirror dakimakura .

FTFY

I like to think of him as having a nervous breakdown in an independent/french film kind of way. Or like the German GLBTQ flicks.

Lots of crumpling and/or wailing.
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Sat Feb 23, 2013 10:07 pm

Quote :
Her legs were against my shoulders with her feet in the air, and my dick started tearing through her hymen. As I pulled out, blood began to smear on my dick, and it looked like a hotdog covered in ketchup.

Bridging the gap between amateur sex and something I heat up in a microwave.

Quote :
When I pulled out, both of her holes were now dripping with cum after she raised her ass in the air. Some of the cum from her anus dripped downwards and collected with the cum from her vagina, which caused bigger drops on the sheets. After I filled both her holes like a doughnut machine, I turned her over and put my mouth on her pussy.

I'm wondering if this guy is turned on by food/food production... or if our food processing equipment was initially inspired by sex.

Quote :
Cum and fluid was oozing and slowly flowing out of assholes, pussies, and mouths. Not a hole or area was uncovered, and the bed was drenched, soak and wet! It was so wet that everyone lied in the mixture of puddles and exchange on the bed. Everyone just sat there with our eyes closed, drenched in loads of liquid, gasping and panting like we had the biggest fuck of our lives. Everyone lost their virginity within an hour, and we were definitely whores without a doubt.

"It was a blood bath. None of us would ever be the same"
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Sun Feb 24, 2013 5:42 pm

AHAHAHAHAAA!!

Shit, that was bad. My eyes, it was so bad. I can't stop laughing. Shit.
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PostSubject: Re: A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)   Tue Feb 26, 2013 1:00 pm

Eeveegou wrote:
Quote :
Cum and fluid was oozing and slowly flowing out of assholes, pussies, and mouths. Not a hole or area was uncovered, and the bed was drenched, soak and wet! It was so wet that everyone lied in the mixture of puddles and exchange on the bed. Everyone just sat there with our eyes closed, drenched in loads of liquid, gasping and panting like we had the biggest fuck of our lives. Everyone lost their virginity within an hour, and we were definitely whores without a doubt.

"It was a blood bath. None of us would ever be the same"

I love that he can start licking her pussy again right afterward and then all that winds up in his mouth are her fluids. This guy must be some kind of wizard, seriously. Or maybe he's got secret spy semen that disappears and... only show up again if you hold his invisible mess up to a... candle?
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A Nintendo Fan's Lust (2012 Re-write)
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