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 F.A.T.A.L.

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Knorg
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Tue Dec 25, 2012 1:09 am

Braigwen wrote:
I rolled a short, plump Ogre who is drop dead gorgeous, a spy, Whore and Chambermaid that knows 3 languages, geometry and how to contort herself to the point of self-cunnilingus.

I'm imagining this in the context of Dragon Age: Origins' Ogres. Shocked
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:50 am

It's Christmas time, so I thought I would get all of you another section of FATAL! Isn't that awful fantastic?!

We pick up on page 17, continuing on with the races. The next race is Bugbears... otherwise known as Bugbeares. The extra e makes it all fancy and Frenchified. Other than the alternate fancy spelling, the most important thing about bugbears is that they "enjoy devouring naughty children". So... they're the krampus?

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Not only that, but their most defining characteristic is that everyone hates them! Woo hoo! I don't know, I would imagine a race that goes around eating just the naughty children instead of all children would be celebrated. You know, cut out those psychopaths early on, right? They talk endlessly about conquering the world, and oh, this is nice, they are 20% likely to have OCD of some sort: 10% for Obessive Compulsive Disorder, and 10% for Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. On top of that, since their skin is covered with fur, other humanoids desire their "hides" for clothing.

Skipping ahead slightly, it seems that bugbears are seafaring, and raid small villages, and... oh. OH. They're this world's equivalent of Vikings. *twitch* And never you fear! If you thought rape wouldn't be mentioned for a while, you're completely wrong!

Quote :
Victorious bugbears will often rape human woman before devouring the children. Human woman who are raped by bugbears may become pregnant, though the fetus aborts before birth. In fact, 50% of human women who are ravished by a bugbear die due to ripped uteral lining.

To end it all, not only are they raping krampuses, they also perform medical experiments on people to determine weaknesses. Yeah. Let's move on.

(But before we do, a quick cursory look over the stat block and description of physical appearance tells us that female bugbears have hairy vaginas. THIS IS IMPORTANT ROLE PLAYING INFORMATION!!!)

Next we have dwarves, and these seem to be the more faerie sort of dwarves since they are shapeshifters. I'm a little wtf on that, but not too much as some old legends have that they do change shape and whatnot. I don't seem to remember butterflies, owls, and chipmunks though. And dwarves "are neither mortal nor immortal. Although dwarves may be killed just as mortals, they do not die naturally." However, out of all of this nonsense, my favorite part is:

Quote :
3 races of dwarves exist, named according to the color of their garments: black, brown, and white.

"Say Bob, aren't you a black dwarf?"
"No, I'm a purple dwarf! Did you see my scarf?!"

Really? Their race hinges on the color of their clothing? Really. That or they are born a black dwarf or whatever, so they only wear black, ever ever ever! I bet the black dwarves cry a lot, listen to the Cure, and smoke cigarettes, gosh darn it.

Quote :
Black dwarves thwart humans.

"Dude, I was just about to get laid!"
Black dwarf runs away laughing, "THWAAAAAARTED!!!!"

Again, though, I do have to give slight, EVER SO SLIGHT, props to Byron (he doesn't deserve to be called a writer anymore, so we're calling him Byron. Or fuckwad, just so you're not confused) in that he did do some research and yes, reading the description of the trickster nature of the so-called "black" dwarves, they are more in line with trickster fae. Slight. Props. Very. Slight.

Brown dwarves don't have communities. Evidently, upon puberty (or something??), every brown dwarf leaves their mother and goes to find a human family to serve. O.o Which sort of sounds like brownies, for fae. Otherwise, mooooooaaaarrrr tricks! White dwarves are jolly. That's it. Evidently, Santa must be a white dwarf.

(Also, no red dwarves, so how am I supposed to make obscure jokes about a British television show? I could say that the red dwarves go around pissing on everything saying, "This is mine. This is mine. This? It's mine." but no red dwarves. Le sigh)

So far, I like dwarves. There was not ONE MENTION OF RAPE. I can settle for some trickster dwarves being dicks to people. Yay for going four whole pages not being offended!

Next, we have elves, who are tiny little creatures. Real fae? Really? Hrm... they are either light or dark, or moral or immoral respectively. BECAUSE YES, the COLOR OF YOUR SKIN determines if you are moral or not. Someone didn't think that phrasing through, although granted, that's probably the least offensive racist comment in here as concerns race (trust me, it's horrid later on). Now, vital roleplaying information next!

Quote :
In fact, elves refuse to eat meat, and prefer fruits and vegetables instead. Because their diet consists of fruits and vegetables, elves fart 3d10 times per day.

"Hold on Bob! Let me roll to see how many times I fart today!" *roll* "Seventeen times! I start now."

They, like dwarves, can shapeshift. Their choices are cat, dog, fox, and rabbit. Their max lifespan is determined by their forest size (which is I BEGRUDGINGLY SAY a very mildly interesting idea). After their generic descriptions, it goes into more detail for the light and dark elves, dark ones first...which are "ugly and immoral". It's rather interesting that fuckwad draws the parallel between goodness and beauty. I don't know if fuckwad is intentionally playing into that trope or if it's an accident. Either way, neither race gets above 4' tall and neither race has pubic hair. VITAL ROLEPLAYING INFO THERE. Strangely, it talks about men trying to force light elven maidens into marriage, but if she feel slighted (Like, oh, by some rape?) then she'll play mean tricks on them (hopefully taking the form of cutting their cocks off). It doesn't mention rape though, just... forcing them into marriage, and how there can be no children ever from such a union.

I'm really not sure what the point of that information was.

Humans are next, and we're all corrupt, power hungry, and greedy, wooooo! Yeah, we're evil.

Kobolds are next, yay! Again, I have to give fuckwad the slightest bit of acknowledgment in that he researched where kobolds come from. (Which as a side note: cobalt is where kobolds come from. It appears the same as silver in mines, and German miners believed that small creatures came in and stole the silver, leaving the cobalt behind.) However, they are a race of slavers, and they never allow their slaves to stand. They can use a pick while on their knees, but when taking stuff out of the mines, they have to crawl out on their hands and knees. Kay. Also, I love these next two statements:

Quote :
Perhaps kobolds are most famous for their ingenious and cruel traps.

...

As their name implies, kobold are bold.

  • Contradictory information on the same page!

Yeah, it went on the list. I really hate contradictory info like that. Yes, I'm picking nits. Razz A race known for setting traps isn't exactly bold in my opinion, but... picking nits, as I said.

Ogres are next, and they are carnivorous! There's four different races of them (why? who knows), but they pretty much all appear TEH EBILS. Cliff ogres enjoy throwing people off of cliffs! Grugachs are lazy! Kinder-fressers eat children! (and have a 10% chance of regurgitating them... like... a hair ball? A child ball? O.o ) Base ogres are hairy! Wait, hairy? How is that TEH EBIL... oh, who cares. The most vile thing about them is that there are rules for the kinder-fresser ogres to fool children to lure them out and eat them, but they must be a virginal child! See? All that rape comes in useful.

Good god. I really want to make a PROTECT THE CHILLUNS joke here in conjunction with that, and I felt very vile for even thinking about it. Also, there's only trolls left, but I just can't stomach any more of this, so that's all for now.

EDIT: Fixing pic.


Last edited by Maximilia on Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:52 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Lurv
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Wed Dec 26, 2012 6:58 am

Now I'm wondering if the creator has a thing for OCD as well. scratch Why else include it? Oh wait, I think I get it. Still gonna assume everything in this "game" is part of the creator's kink anyway.

Maximilia wrote:
(Also, no red dwarves, so how am I supposed to make obscure jokes about a British television show? I could say that the red dwarves go around pissing on everything saying, "This is mine. This is mine. This? It's mine." but no red dwarves. Le sigh)
Maybe the black dwarves killed all the red ones just to thwart you.

Quote :
It's rather interesting that fuckwad draws the parallel between goodness and beauty. I don't know if fuckwad is intentionally playing into that trope or if it's an accident.
I figure it's just part of the racism. Of course the good race must also be the prettiest.

Also, I wouldn't feel bad for nitpicking a role playing game that brags about its own realism and makes you roll for how often your character farts per day.
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Wed Dec 26, 2012 7:45 am

Lurv wrote:
Now I'm wondering if the creator has a thing for OCD as well. scratch Why else include it? Oh wait, I think I get it. Still gonna assume everything in this "game" is part of the creator's kink anyway.
The whole game is literally this.

They wanted to create a "mature", "realistic" game. And by "Mature" they meant "Throw in shit like sex, rape and things you won't find in PG rated films regardless of context or relevence" and by "Realistic" they mean "Stuff I understand isn't talked about in polite society" such as racism, sexism and doubling up on the rape.

These people are misogynistic, racist fucks with all the subtly of a 12 year old, trying, desperately, to justify their immaturity, sexism and racism under a weak blanket of misunderstood references and "extended reading".



Basically they're all the worst parts of the MRA movement turning themselves to Dungeons and Dragons.


Fuck. Even the Book of Erotic Fantasy had elements in them that worked in a regular game without needing to work in the sexystuffs. A sourcebook whose premise is entirely "I think having sex requires a skill check", manages to handle itself (hurr) in a more professional, and mature fashon that this garbage.

[edit]

Quote :
Also, I wouldn't feel bad for nitpicking a role playing game that brags about its own realism and makes you roll for how often your character farts per day.

And this is the Steve Jackson school of thinking.

"Lets think of every eventuality possible, and then create a rule for it. Also the rules we create need have no connection, thematically or mechanically, to the rest of the game. So long as we've thought of a thing and made a rule for it, we're sorted. It's realism. Also make sure it's rolled for randomly. I found a thing called the Bell Chart, so we're sorted. Realism."

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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Wed Dec 26, 2012 8:11 am

I wonder if you have a skill check for holding in farts.
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Wed Dec 26, 2012 12:31 pm

Maximilia wrote:


(But before we do, a quick cursory look over the stat block and description of physical appearance tells us that female bugbears have hairy vaginas. THIS IS IMPORTANT ROLE PLAYING INFORMATION!!!)

Excuse me while I go throw up in my mouth slightly.
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Wed Dec 26, 2012 2:18 pm

And of course there's no explanation why these vaginas are hairy (that I can find). Besides bugbears being, like, hairy. Realism.
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Wed Dec 26, 2012 3:03 pm

Lurv wrote:
And of course there's no explanation why these vaginas are hairy (that I can find). Besides bugbears being, like, hairy. Realism.


But Bugbear cocks don't have any hair on them. In fact he goes on and on about how they DON'T have hair. Intresting stuff, it's almost like reading my old science books when they go on and on about if snails have slimy cocks or not.
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:07 pm

well does he mean vagina or vulva

because most human women have naturally hairy vulvas (vulvae?) unless they shave or something

like are they lined with fur on the inside or what

oh god do the males have furlined assholes
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:44 pm

Cyberwulf wrote:
well does he mean vagina or vulva

because most human women have naturally hairy vulvas (vulvae?) unless they shave or something

like are they lined with fur on the inside or what

oh god do the males have furlined assholes

I know this is utterly unrelated, but having worked in a supermarket bakery, I became quite familiar with a condition known as "baker's bum". Hot work area + lots of physical movement + bodily crevice = much discomfort.

Quick cure... Cornflour.

Dust your cheeks before work and you're immune to baker's bum. (If you're posh you can use talcum powder. But I'm poor).

Except for the work experience guys. They see an experienced baker using the homebrew cure and ask about it... They get told to use regular flour.

Is that an effective way to remove bottom hair? Yes.

Is it a painless way? OH HELL NO! Twisted Evil
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:49 pm

It said vagina, so I'm assuming it's fur-lined.
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Wed Dec 26, 2012 7:35 pm

Lurv wrote:
I wonder if you have a skill check for holding in farts.

"Okay, you are about to step into the tavern--"

"Hold up, Steve! I've only fart-rolled once this turn; I have to roll again to see if Morgrik's colon explodes."
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Thu Dec 27, 2012 1:36 am

... alright, so I had probably a post nearly as long as my first and second combined for this stupid review, and I somehow hit the 'close window' button by accident. So, this next segment will be shorter, but much, much angrier since I have to reread everything I just read in this stupid book!

When we last left off, we were on the last race, trooooooooolllls! Trollface

Not that kind of troll, but there are three kinds: borbytingarna (or booby as I call them), hill, and subterranean trolls. All of the females are called "trollops" because I don't think fuckwad knows what a trollop i... oh wait! I see what fuckwad did there! Let's objectify the "monsters" too! Which, come to think of it, why are ogres and trolls playable races anyway, and bugbears, if all they do is eat and rape people?

Moving on. Booby trolls (Hehe, I said "booby") pretty much just try to eat anything on sight, except for another booby troll if they are of the opposite gender. In which case, I suppose, they fuck, THEN try to eat each other, though it is not expressively said in the text. Already, I am adding ROLEPLAYING and HISTORICAL ACCURACY depth to the game! Woo hoo! After they beat someone unconscious, they then tenderize the meat for 1d100 minutes by beating it against the ground. That's about their only defining characteristic, other than male and female booby (hehehehehe) trolls being indistinguishable from each other except to other booby trolls.

Hill trolls are the snobs of trolldom. They infect 4chan. I mean, the forest. And caverns. Or something. They like to eat brains, so we'll call them zombie trolls! Zombie trolls are real snobs about peeling the meat off of people and only eating the organs. Yum, yum. They are also snobs about what parts of the brain they eat too.

Subterranean (which god dammit, in the first review I spelled that right EVERY TIME and now I can't spell it right once!) trolls petrify in sunlight (LotR anyone?), and the female trolls will "experiment" with other males of other species. But they get supa jellies if any other woman is better looking than they are! And that's all because their menfolk are oooooogly. I eyeroll at that. At least it doesn't go off about their pubic hair and if they have fur lined vajayjays.

After the trolls come the bigot section! I mean "racial hatred" section, and I'll save you some time here: Everyone hates everyone else. I do find it funny that bugbears call human "Poople", but what I don't find funny is how human men and women react to anakim, or the half demons as you may recall. The men give the anakim sort of complimentary nicknames like "Raptor" for the guys and "Hourglasses" for the women, which while derogatory is still complimentary. In a sucky way. Human women, on the other hand, give the anakim men names like "Skinloaf" and "Stovepipe" (FOR THEIR MIGHTY MANHOODS!) but call anakim women "Demon-Whores". Just one more casually misogynistic trait in this stupid, stupid book.

That concludes the race section, and it goes into gender next. This is where my raging feminist part starts to RAEG with great RAEG! I will quote you a couple snippets so that you understand why.

Quote :
According to a prominent philosopher (Aristotle, because he has SO much to do with medieval accuracy), males tend to be more spirited, savage, simple, and less cunning. Females, on the other hand, tend to be more compassionate than males, more easily moved to tears, at the same time more jealous, more querulous, and are more apt to scold and strike. Females are, furthermore, more prone to despondency and less hopeful than males, more void of shame and self-respect, more false of speech and more deceptive.

Quote :
According to the adjustments above, it may seem as though males are superior, though it is important to understand that there are other instances, such as nuturing, that are unapparent in the adjustments and may become evident and valuable during role-playing.

I will note here in the gender adjustment chart, men have a 30% bonus to strength and women have a 30% penalty to strength... so women are 60% less strong than men. Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah.

Then, of course, fuckwad goes into how patriarchal societies RULE and how menstruation is viewed as a curse by the gods and so on and so forth. I was pretty much twitching and frothing the first time around reading that. Second time here, I'm tearing my hair out. Which as I find out later, makes me less attractive in the face!

That brings us to our second chapter, so hurray! We made it through one chapter of FATAL! Only 950 pages to go! No, really, only 950 pages to go. Ugh.

The second chapter is entitled "Body" and it's here the random charts get out of control. Now, before I had gone through and explained everything I was rolling for our kobold. I'll try to recreate as best as possible since I don't remember everything. In the last chapter, they suggested looking at the offspring chart in Chapter six (Chapter fucking six, man! They can't even spring to put in a mini chart there? Nooooo) for rolling your gender randomly. I rolled a 43% percent and turned out we are female. (SIXTY PERCENT less strong than men. What. Fucking. Ev. Ver.) Then, to determine your age, you roll ((4d100 / 5) - 25). Astute math students will figure out, "Hey, if I roll all really low numbers, I'll start out in negative age!" Which, you can, potentially. Game over before it starts? However, I ended up rolling right on the average, or 19.2 years of age for our kobold. Height was pretty straight forward (2d6 + 36 in inches) and I came out with the average, or 4'3", which means I add no modifiers...because as you can see on page 41, there are modifiers for being even one inch above or below the average height.

For weight, I ended up with 73 lbs, which is *slightly* above average for our female kobold, and because of that, we get a +3 to our strength. SUCK ON THAT, GENDER CHART! Next, we have to figure out our BMI. So yes, that bullshit concept in the real world made it in to our "completely historical accurate" game. Yay. Our BMI ended up being 21.1, which is slightly pudgy, which I think is fine. We got some junk in the trunk is all... OWAIT. No, we have to wait to see how big our ass is. Randomly rolled. Anyway, because we are over the BMI for female kobolds, we end up have a penalty in Body Attractiveness by 11 points.

Are you guys confused yet? Because let me tell you, as a gamer (and a gamer who loooooooves to crunch statistics), this is really damn confusing. I could just imagine trying to introduce this game to a complete newbie to gaming. "No, no, Bob, it's cool. See, you do this and this, and then carry the one, and then you find out you are a spear chucker, isn't that awesome?"

Now, in a very very mildly interesting thing, there is a most attractive/least attractive feature chart, so I guess... if you want to flesh out a character more, why not? But it's mandatory in FATAL by god! Our most attractive feature turned out to be our chest (HUR HUR) and our least attractive was our voice (which I imagine now that we sound like Weezy from the Jeffersons). Because our chest is our most attractive feature, we gain 1 point in Body Attractiveness (boo) and 9 points in Cup Size. Wait. REALLY? I wonder if we droop.

I ... I can't believe I just rolled and said that in relation to a game. And the worst is yet to come.

Anyway, because our voice is our least attractive feature, we lost 7 points of Vocal Charisma. Shit, we haven't even ROLLED our base stats yet and already we're adding modifiers to them? And a LOT of modifiers? Uuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhh. Our hair color turned out to be light brown, our skin (being a kobold) is automatically silvery white. I will stop to add here that in the skin color chart? The darkest on there is TAN, so yup, complete erasure of any minorities. Now, I rolled a 83% for hair length, which is 23"-30", which is pretty fucking long for a kobold, I would think. Now, this is where I stopped accidentally last time, and I remember the number I rolled... 92% for type of hair. +8 for being female. +10 for being a kobold or 110% which is OFF THE CHARTS MAN! Blah. We find out our hair is of medium thickness and wavy, which adds 1d20 of facial charisma. What the fucking fuck? No, seriously, how does hair add to your FACE? Our super long, medium thick, wavy light brown hair added 14 points of Facial Charisma to us.



Good god, that's ridiculous.

Eye color, uh, 45% or Brown. Rolling a 73% later finds us having perfect natural vision. Next is... a facial characteristic chart? Wat? Well, I guess it adds more personality, right? Right? Rolling a 33% we find out we find out we have bags around our eyes and are a target for bullying (WAT), losing 3 points of Facial Charisma. OH WELL. I guess we'll grow our hair out long and cover that shit right on up, right? Rolling Eyes

Some of the results on here are completely... dumb.

Quote :
03-04 Ears, high or above eyebrow / High Mental capacity +1d4 Facial Charisma (Really? I have ears growing out of my eyebrows and that gives me facial charisma?)
21 Eye, lazy / Stupid and annoying -1d10 Facial Charisma
56-58 Mole, off the side of the eye / prone to love triangles
59 Mole, sole of foot / Potential leadership (No, I'm your leader! LOOK AT MY MOLE!)
96 Nose, small nostrils / Stingy scorekeepers, good savers

Next is, I shit you not, "Freak of Nature". Roll 1d1,000,000 to see if you are a freak of nature. On a one percent, you are and survived!

  • Disableism at its finest!


Haha, we are going to stop before we hit the "Sexual Features" part of the chart. I'll save that for next time. Mmm... random anal circumference goodness!
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:40 am

I guess your hair can add to your face, but it depends on your facial shape as well as hair type.

Psh, realism. Rolling Eyes
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Thu Dec 27, 2012 5:41 am

Maximilia wrote:
Roll 1d1,000,000 [...] On a one percent,

Fucking hell...
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Thu Dec 27, 2012 9:54 am

I have to admit I am tempted to pull together simple flash app to roll on all these random tables for you; so people can cycle quickly through all these stupid mash-ups of unrelated characteristics and get a good laugh at how shitty they are. The programing for rolling on charts is easy, but with this many options it would take for fucking ever.

Also, you know, investing time in something FATAL related.
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Thu Dec 27, 2012 12:16 pm

Ok, some of the so-called 'cornerstones' of this game are ~REALISM~ and ~HISTORICAL ACCURACY~. Apparently what they meant by that is, 'Only the parts that give me tingles in my jubblies.'

Why would I say that? Ooooohhhh, have another look at the BMI section. Now, even in the 1950s, women with a bit more meat on them was preferred to the waifish look that's popular today. I'm not going to go on any value judgments of that; I'm simply pointing out that what is popular today =/= what was the standard of beauty in other times and places. BIG SHOCKER THERE.

However, turn to page 43, about midway down.
Quote :
For example, for each 0.1 BMI below under-weight (18) for a human female, Bodily Attractiveness increases by 5.

That's right. 'No fat chicks' wherein 'fat' means 'actual healthy weight.'
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Thu Dec 27, 2012 1:15 pm

rae wrote:
Quote :
For example, for each 0.1 BMI below under-weight (18) for a human female, Bodily Attractiveness increases by 5.
That's right. 'No fat chicks' wherein 'fat' means 'actual healthy weight.'
Haha, does that go on indefinately? Like, people who are literally starvng to death are the prettiest? Has this guy ever axtually seen an anorexic?

Also, yeah, ~HISTORICAL~ Check out a ren painting of Venus sometime, morons. Goddess of love: inhumanly beautiful, kinda pudgy.
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Thu Dec 27, 2012 1:49 pm

this dumbass evidently doesn't realise that back in the day if you had some meat on you it was a sign of wealth because you weren't fucking subsisting on bread and water

that you had to grow/source yourself

also fuckit bugbear males have fur-lined assholes

it's like fucking a slipper of finest ermine

I HAVE DECREED IT
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:33 pm

Cyberwulf wrote:
it's like fucking a slipper of finest ermine

Well, they are hunted for their pelts, so I'd be totally unsurprised if that's the specific part the furriers want. This is FATAL, after all.
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Braigwen
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Thu Dec 27, 2012 9:11 pm

rae wrote:
Cyberwulf wrote:
it's like fucking a slipper of finest ermine

Well, they are hunted for their pelts, so I'd be totally unsurprised if that's the specific part the furriers want. This is FATAL, after all.

Gather 'round ye gentlemen! Who here has not been frustrated at one time or another with their wife's inability to preform when the monthly curse strikes her? I tell you this has been the bane of mankind since time immemorial! But no more! I bring you the finest Bugbear vaginas and rectums from far and wide! We capture roving bands along the coasts and skin them while living to preserve the freshness of the hides. Watch as my faithful assistant demonstrates how the soft fur along the inside is the perfect companion for those cold nights when the gods curse your wife with uncleanliness!

Now you might expect to pay twenty gold for relief this crucial to mankind's survival. But no! Today only, I am selling these for the insane price of two gold pieces! And as an added bonus, the lye and water solution to remove the residue of your necessary ministrations! Who wants to try one for himself! One at a time please! Hey! No buggering the assistant!
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Fri Dec 28, 2012 10:11 am

I was reading this topic and a couple reviews with a friend. We completely lost it at THUNDER FARTS and Captain PancakeCock.

By all means keep going!
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Fri Dec 28, 2012 11:13 am

Braigwen wrote:
We capture roving bands along the coasts and skin them while living to preserve the freshness of the hides. Watch as my faithful assistant demonstrates how the soft fur along the inside is the perfect companion for those cold nights when the gods curse your wife with uncleanliness!
The thing that is really disturbing here is thatthis sounds like a completely believable thing to be in FATAL.
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Fri Dec 28, 2012 3:01 pm

see a game where characters have PHENOMENAL FARTING POWER and hunt bugbears for their fur-lined anuses of finest ermine sounds fun in an extremely juvenile way

if you stripped out all the rape, misogyny, racism, and completely superfluous crap like anal circumference and GM-approved racial slurs this might MIGHT be vaguely playable
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PostSubject: Re: F.A.T.A.L.   Fri Dec 28, 2012 3:26 pm

Cyberwulf wrote:
if you stripped out all the rape, misogyny, racism, and completely superfluous crap like anal circumference and GM-approved racial slurs this might MIGHT be vaguely playable
The actual game mechanics would need a complete revamp, though. They are totaly broken on a very basic level.

But yeah, a less terribad game that had fart rolls and urination skills could fall under 'so bad its good' and be entertaining for a night, probably.
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