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 KIKEN: CHIKYUUGAOWARUHANASHI by Omniscients

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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: KIKEN: CHIKYUUGAOWARUHANASHI by Omniscients   Wed Dec 19, 2012 3:57 pm

KIKEN: CHIKYUUGAOWARUHANASHI by Omniscients

I am not even sure what to do with this. I am tempted to just quote the whole thing page by page with no commentary. It is just bad on a level that gets hard form coherent thoughts about.

OK, so, as near as I can figure it is about an MMO named Hubspace that might end the world. I guess it is like Homestuck, but terrible and written by weeaboos.

the opening preamble-- srsly this is the first thing in the story what the fuck wrote:
When does the Earth ever calm down?

The Earth can never calm down! We as the world, are still panicking! Go on, try touching it, but you'll just make the panicking even worse. After all, this is a story of the world. A story that details an ever-panicking world, all due to one measly online game. Hubspace came to life during 2012, and brought disaster to the world. And if you want to know what type of disaster this is, that WAS disaster. NOTHING can be compared to this. If anything, this can be as devastating as the Earth ending within minutes because this shocked the world! And the future. Ever so constantly.
Unless it is actually written by Japanese dude because holy shit that reads like some srs ESL. *checks* Oh, it is written by a Fillipeno. Huh. Well, I will try and refrain from tearing apart the grammar, but it is still stupid as shit trust me.

Anyway, we get introduced to our hero, a tan red head with "chronic amnesia" who still "knows everything." He has a dog named Ruffhouseman. He is late for class. He refers to his teacher as a "deretsun," which I guess is supposed to be tsundere, an anime cliche female character who is bashful and lovely one minutes and violent the next. Like Akane from Ranma. Also not like any teacher ever.

She questions him about his sleep habits, I think.
I think?? wrote:
"Sorry, Kouen-kun, why do I always see you fall asleep deeper than normal?"
He shrugs and then she... slaps him? And then his nose starts bleeding all over everything?
what the hell is going on?! wrote:
"Oh my gosh, Kakeru-kun, your face is bleeding like a faucet!" Hikari said, noting Kakeru's bleeding nose. "In my defense, those two things were staring at me." Kakeru tried to restrain himself from staring, yet he was still in denial. "Oh gosh, just go through with work now." Hikari was stressed during the conversation between her and her student. "Okay Miss, sorry about what happened." Kakeru apolgized, "Darn, will this nosebleeding stop?" but Hikari kept grunting and she was still pretty angry, and Kakeru's worksheets were a wee bit bloody.
I am not sure who Hikari is, this is the first time that name is used. A pig with titties, I guess.

Those are only the first 3 paragraphs, and I already need a drink. I am not sure I will get back to snarking this one, but feel free to check it out if you need a good laugh.
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PostSubject: Re: KIKEN: CHIKYUUGAOWARUHANASHI by Omniscients   Sat Dec 22, 2012 5:27 am

Quote :
Unless it is actually written by Japanese dude because holy shit that reads like some srs ESL.
I thought that was what a lifetime of reading only badly translated animu bullshit did to your grammar, but apparently English is not the author's first language either.

Quote :
"Oh my gosh, Kakeru-kun, your face is bleeding like a faucet!"
No

no

no

The bleeding nose thing is fucking symbolic

Japanese people don't actually spurt blood from their noses when aroused

God dammit author you couldn't be more weeaboo or dumb if you tried

What's WRONG with these people
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