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 Jealous two by Kazhiru

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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Jealous two by Kazhiru   Tue Dec 11, 2012 11:36 pm

Jealous two by Kazhiru (NWS)

Well, Maxi asked me to do another snark and I am a huge sucker for ILUs so...

*deep breath* This is another X-Men Evo Toad/Nightcrawler fic! Because no one here is tired of those, right? In this fic Kurt is super jelly of Lance because Kitty lurves him. Despite the fact he manipulated and attacked her when they first met, her crushing on Lance is canon so Kurt is SOL! The whole thing is written in the weird style where half the paragraphs are only on sentence long and I get the impression English is the author's second language. On the other hand, she uses the correct "your"!

~Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side, keep on the sunny side of life!~

kurt thinking to himself about kitty's birthday party wrote:
He had been really busy for the whole week, needing to run errands from point A to point B, and he was almost afraid that he wouldn't make it on time.

It would have been a horrible catastrophe if he wouldn't get a birthday present!

But luckily he had found just the perfect one only two days before the event itself!
Yeah it would be pretty bad if you "wouldn't" get her a present, I guess. But he does! Before the event itself, even!

So he thinks about how he wants all of Kitty's attention all the time but she is always hanging out with Lance or, like, talking about him and shit like that.
kurt being a creepy fuck wrote:
He was sure that his gift was way better than the others, and that this time, he would gain the attention he wanted.
I do not think I have to tell you this is creepy, although what is sort of extra weird is how the narration tip-toes around that fact he is interested in her romantically. For example:
kurt being too pansy to admit he wants to fuck her wrote:
Kitty was Kurt's best friend, and the one person he had known for the longest time, and who had still remained as his friend.

Kitty was the one and only person who he would do anything on the world to make her happy. He had never known anyone better than he did her, and how he wanted her to be happy.
She was the only person he had known the longest, guys!!

Anywhoodle, he asks Kitty to go to the mall with him, she has other plans, he curses Lance's name to the heavens. Man he sure hates Lance!
kurt reading waaay too into lance being a bag of dicks wrote:
For one, Alvers didn't like him, and even if no-one else didn't see or hear that, Kurt could hear his loath in his every word, and he could see the looks the other send him when no-one else was looking, and he could see the hidden mock on his sentences.
Or I guess Lance hates him? (Hidden mock? Why hide mock? Mock should be free for all to enjoy!)

Although honestly it does not sound like Kurt likes Kitty very much either:
kurt using sarcasm quotes to describe the value of the things kitty spends her money on wrote:
before she knew, the money her parents send to her was wasted upon all those "glorious founds" she discovered.
kurt pissed off because when he asked her what was up she answered him wrote:
Argh, there she goes again with that Lance, give it a rest would you?
kurt calling kitty a fool wrote:
He had Kitty all around his little finger, like and obedient fool, what else would he want?
So the next day happens and Kurt is being bothered by Toad more often than usual. Because this is how children tell you they love you!

toad pushing kurt over and pulling his pigtails wrote:
He had been stealing or hiding his property, like, unlock his locker and hide all his stuff around school for him to find, and it got worse.
Aw, get a room you two!

toad and kurt sittin in a tree K I S S I N G wrote:
After interesting series of different looks and poses the other did as he thought, he started to throw eraser peaces at Kurt, having extra points from head shots, or if the piece was stuck on his hair.
Man, how do you know what was worth extra points?

This goes on for way too long so fuck it. Party time.

kitty loving the shit out of some snacks wrote:
"Ha ha, stop joking, we'll soon move out to kitchen and the main rooms, we have, like, made us our own dance floor, and like, totally delicious snacks!"
Sounds like my kind of party!!!

So Kitty opens the presents. Lance gives her a Hello Kitty toy and Kurt is smug about it.
kurt being smug about it wrote:
Alvers, that was your first false move!
Then she opens Kurts present and is super happy (it is a coat and necklace btw). She gives him a hug and Kurt is super pleased with himself. That is until he goes to brag and be smug about it to his friends and one of them mentions that they saw Kitty give Lance a ~~~kiss~~~ while no one was watching. Scandal!! So naturally Kurt runs bawling up to his room about it.

Well OK it does not go down exactly like that, somewhere in there this happens also:
the brotherhood knows how to party i guess wrote:
Even Brotherhood seemed to enjoy their mood. Pietro had already hit 5 women,
but I am getting bored and want to get to the smut already.

So Kurt gets to his room and Toad is there.

toad being a stalker wrote:
"Look who's angry, dawg. What got you all too mopy, yo?"
As a side note: I do not remember Toad ever using the word "dawg" in the show, and maybe using "foo" once. Fanon!Toad uses both in basically every other sentence. Yo is canon.

OH SHIT- wrote:
"Come on, fuzzy, Even I can tell your not okay, why not you share your problems with little ol' me?"
IS THAT THE WRONG YOUR GODDAMNIT I THOUGHT I KNEW YOU!

RAAAAAAAEGG!

God I hate that.

kurt being pissy what else is new wrote:
Kurt didn't feel all that "happy and optimistic" now, and only wanted to take apart some of that bent up anger.
Me and you both, Kurt. So much bent up anger. I can feel it inside me. Bending.

So Toad makes a "deal" with Kurt. Kurt explains what got up his ass and died and Toad does likewise.

This is the halfway point of the story. I am so bored with this shit.

So Toad prods Kurt into confessing he is jealous "for" Lance. Except Kurt called him by his last name for the gazillionth time. Because:
kurt being nucking futts wrote:
"Well, you know how I don't curse people much often, that's just my way to do so. As if he wouldn't even deserve a name."
Yeah that makes perfect sense whatever moving on.

So then Toad starts his confessional and it is some cliched overly obvs thing about crushing on someone and trying to get them to notice them and spoiler alert he is talking about Kurt.

toad not understanding how bad breath works wrote:
every time I talked to him, I chewed bubblegum to hide my horrible breath!."
Aww how sweet.

toad pitying the foo wrote:
"Foo, how come you didn't notice? Dawg, you really need to get your system clean of that Pryde."Kurt could hear the same loath on Kitty's surname that he always could hear in his own voice as he called Alvers.
And then they kiss. And also fuck.

hot boy sexings wrote:
Toad then extended his tongue to rub Kurt's nibble, rolling his tongue against it, pushing, sucking, and after that Todd leaned down to slightly bite it, to suck it and to caress it with his tongue, which after he leaned back and blew cold air against them, making Kurt shiver, then moving to do the same for the another nibble.
Wait, what?
what wrote:
Kurt's nibble
no, really, what wrote:
nibble
I give up.
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Maximilia
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PostSubject: Re: Jealous two by Kazhiru   Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:59 pm

Yay!

Also, lol, Kurt's nibble. "Ahhh! My nibbles are being attacked!"

I wonder if that's like tribbles.

Good snark, Reep! :D
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: Jealous two by Kazhiru   Wed Dec 12, 2012 6:44 pm

I am glad you like it, Maxi! Thank you!
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PostSubject: Re: Jealous two by Kazhiru   Wed Dec 12, 2012 9:21 pm

Okay...I've obviously been out of theX-Men fandom waaaay to long. Kurt and Toad? Really? Or is this just more delusional slashing? I mean, it's not like it's canon that Kurt was Catholic and sort of sexually repressed, but honestly...TOAD?
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: Jealous two by Kazhiru   Thu Dec 13, 2012 1:23 am

Rabid Badger wrote:
Okay...I've obviously been out of theX-Men fandom waaaay to long. Kurt and Toad? Really? Or is this just more delusional slashing? I mean, it's not like it's canon that Kurt was Catholic and sort of sexually repressed, but honestly...TOAD?
It is based on the X-Men Evolution cartoon where they had a little bit of interplay. Enough to slash 'em, anyways.

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EileenK98
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PostSubject: Re: Jealous two by Kazhiru   Thu Dec 13, 2012 8:33 am

You know fanbrats . . . two male characters say hello to each other, and suddenly they're a couple. I've seen Toadurt before, usually done better than this.
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