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 Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.

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Summercorn
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PostSubject: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:06 am

The name of our fiction is Mischief Managed. It is not a Harry Potter fiction, however, but an Marvel Avengers one. Not that Ironman and the gang turn up at all.

Our author is Desperately Seeking Susan 85

The link: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Here you go.

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In the Popularity of Loki Tom Hiddleston from Thor and The Avengers movie, I wrote your usual yet insensateing rough love story about Loki and his mortal bride. Based on a personal dream i had.


Loki is Tom Hiddleston, Tom Hiddleston is Loki! I know, I wet dreamed it. I like a rough love story as much as the next ravening hoard, but an insensateing one? Mmnn.

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Note; this story is rated M, reader discretion is advised.

So not work safe and run like hell if you value your sanity. Okay.

Our Sue, bless her, is called Anne. Which is at least a nice simple name for once. She's a twenty-something coffee-shop waitress in small-town America and living with her parents. She gets home and finds her parents have gone away, so she calls Kasey, her best friend, to come over.

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"gonna throw a party?" he joked,
"nah, you know me; most of my friends either live far way or don't have the time of day." she explained,

If she's lived in a small town all her life, why are her friends so far away? Off at college perhaps? Or working in other towns and cities? Maybe, but still doesn't explain why none of them have access to a watch or clock.

Neither she, nor Kasey is a virgin, she tells us, but they've never hit on each other. Before they can get it on, in a confusing sequence, Loki arrives, kills,(?) Kasey and some police turn up after being called. Loki then spirits Anne off to his new realm.

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Afterwords she went back to the vanity table and looked in the mirror, she looked perfectly groomed. Her long chestnut hair was slightly styled, her skin was flawless with no imperfection in sight. Then she noticed she was wearing a short black silk night dress with a silver lace trim, and matching underwear underneath.


Glad to see that after the probable death of your best friend and your forced kidnapping, you're only real bother is with your looks, Anne. Oh, and readers, get used to the lace. Damn author's obsessed with it.

Loki arrives.

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Anne was mesmerized by this tall, dark, and hansom stranger before her, but soon realized this could be the same stranger who harmed Kasey, and kidnapped her.


You think? This tall, dark, horse-drawn cab could be the culprit, eh? She wants to know who he is. He tells her in the most convoluted way possible.

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Now Anne really could not believe what she had just heard; Loki, the Norse God of Mischief, who had just killed her innocent best friend in cold blood, then kidnapped a innocent young woman herself for some reason that might be sick to the imagination. She was really scared now, and sickened of what he might have planed for her.

The God of Mischief does, in fact, change sex sometimes. Once spent several years as a woman milking cows underground and gave birth to a horse after changing into a mare and getting raped by a stallion. I guess you need to pass the time when you're immortal. He doesn't seem to have changed sex during this kidnap, however, so I'm a little confused as to how he could have, 'kidnapped a (sic) innocent young woman herself.' With being abducted, I'd like to think I'd worry more about murder and stuff, rather than getting all sickened by what my kidnapper did in his carpentry.

Loki tells her that he wants her to be his queen and to raise his children. Actually, for a silver tongued God of Mischief, he really doesn't make it seem like a good proposition.

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"You will be birthing my children until you take your very last breath."

Er...thanks? But, you see, she's perfect for the job.

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Indeed, she was the perfect candidate. Her long brunette hair, her two beautiful hazel doe-like eyes, her exotic bronzed sun kissed coloured skin, finally to her natural beautiful body. Her prefect sized breasts, to he slender waist and curved hips; perfect for child baring. She was indeed a natural beauty with perfect genetics.

She’s beautiful, she's not a cyclops, she has perfect genetics and she can strip kids naked with just her hips!

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"You sick, twisted, in coincident bastard!" she spat,

I...I have no words. But the dictionary does.

Co-incident adj
1. having the same position in space or time
2. (usually postpositive and foll by with) in exact agreement; consonant


Anyhow, she gets all mad at him. In fact she's almost always mad at him. For the sake of an heir, Loki really seems to be happy to spend the rest of his life with an unremitting screech of a Sue. Or at least the rest of her life, since his will naturally be longer. She tells him the cops will be looking for her. Of course, small-town cops anywhere would be searching inter-dimensional realms with a fine toothed comb. Loki doesn't stand a chance.

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"Oh, I think you needed be worried about whats happening back home." he said, "Things have already dramatically changed since after you left. Alternately I might add."

Poor Loki. I'm beginning to think that Tesseract thing did bad things to his brain. Either that or the Hulk shook a few things loose.

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At first she didn't know what he was talking about,

No-one could Anne, don't feel bad.

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but then she had a hunch.

So much for her perfect genetics then. Her bone structure shows signs of osteoporosis. Anyway, Loki tells her that he restored life to Kasey, returned him home, wiped his memory. And he sent the police back to the station and wiped any memory of the 911 call. Also he wiped all memory of Anne from anyone she'd ever met, including her parents, her school friends, her co-workers, doctors, dentists, teachers...

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"And the only other place where you do exist is right her, with me." Loki said, "It also means every biological thing about you has been erased on earth too, and restored here; which includes you virginity. You are now a fully restored, born again virgin, so that I may take you as your first."

Oops, someone regrets waking up under the bleachers with Biff after getting drunk at the Prom!

You do realise, author, that at this point you've raised Loki's powers to the point where Jesus might whistle appreciatively through his teeth? This guy isn't a demi-god, he's damn near all-powerful!

He then commits a sexual act on her without her permission, which of course she secretly enjoys and feels ashamed of it. Despite giving her a clitoral orgasm and proving to her that he's hard as can be, he then decides not to go through with the rape because he thinks she might be too tired. How considerate, what a gent. Still, he might have to retire to take in the fact that his so-called perfect bride has one, rather odd feature.

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He continued to rub her breast, and brushed his thumb agents her dark, roasted coloured nipple.

…ROASTED?!

You know, my best guess it that the author was clawing desperately toward the word 'roseate', failed spectacularly, and the spell checker did it's level best the with the remnants. Otherwise, all bets are off.

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Anne tried her best to fight back, but she knew her orgasm was coming close. She griped on to Loki's arm, and prepared her self for a intense wave of pleasure to hit on.

Hey, she can ride the wave and still kvetch about it. Cool.

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Suddenly, he grabbed both her leg, placed himself between them, and pressed her crotch agents his.

This bit was all typed with one hand, wasn't it?

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"It'll seem our consummation will half to wait." he said,

Yep. Still callin' it on the sound of one hand typing. Schlick

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"Really is a lovely room, isn't it?" he asked her, "But not just for you, I will be sharing this room and that bed with you more often. Perhaps sooner?"

Sooner than more often? Loki dear, try to be lucid
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:36 am

The "roasted nipples" line alone puts this story squarely in the "avoid at all costs" category. Tuxedo Mark on his worst day could have come up with better material.
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:57 am

Part 2
I Did Not Die, And I Did Not Live

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Part 2 of my Mischief Managed Loki story. Before we begin, i wanna say 2 thing:

And I’d just like to say that two is a word as well as a number.

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First, I wanna some of those who read my story, and for Fan Fiction for publishing it.

Hey, no biggie. It’s just reading. You don’t have to thank… oh, you didn’t.

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Second, for some who didn't read the first one, again it's you typical yet sensual rough love story about The God of Mischief himself and his mortal bride, so to be mother of his children.

At least we know what the insensate means now, but I could print out that sentence and sacrifice the lifeblood of an innocent red pen over the errors in it.

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Anyway, we left of with our female character, Anne, who was kidnapped by Loki to be his bride and personal child barer.


The call goes out to the Department of Redundancy - Redundancy Department.

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Loki returned to his own room he closed the doors behind him, shifted out of his cloths, and entered his bed nude.

Laura? Is that you? Is Loki the new Legolas?

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As he laid there underneath his black and crimson sheets he could smell the sweet essence of Anne's wetness, lingering in the.


Because, you know, wetness lingers in the.

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Then he used his magic to gather the leftover essence, and made a holographic duplicate of a nude Anne by his side.


Leftover essence? What did she do, pee herself? You know, I’ve read up on the mythology a little, both Nordic and Marvel, but I really only know the character of Loki from the films and, I expect, so too does the author. In Thor and Avengers, the only things that Loki conjure that aren’t himself are Odin’s spear and his own spear. And both times he‘s holding that spear so he‘s technically still projecting a copy of himself. We have never seen the slightest sign that he can copy others. He made the snakes from the wine, but they didn’t vanish when touched. He had to cast a spell to get rid of them. He brought the frost giant’s power thingy to him and sent it away, but the power thingy and snakes weren’t projected copies. Just sayin’.

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Loki rose up to give her a passionate kiss, but the duplicate soon disappeared just as his lips touched hers.

This poor guy is into masochism in a big way. He gets her off, but walks away still hard and unsatisfied and then he gets all kissy with a holograph.

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The last thing Anne remembered; was being taken away from her home by Loki, having her whole existence on earth erased, and being sexually assaulted by him. Finally, her last memory was sobbing on the floor, believing that what she just experienced was all a nightmare.


So the last thing she remembers is the last stuff that happened to her. Okay. I do like the way she’s plain forgotten about Kasey. She’s back in bed, gets up, has some breakfast and goes to find the bathroom.

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As she finished eating, she walk toward the other end of the room where she saw a curtain covered doorway. No door, just light, ivory coloured fabric covering the doorway to the other side.

Which, frankly, I got fully from the phrase ’curtain covered doorway’, the colour’s irrelevant, but thanks for the clarification.

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Curious, she pulled back the curtains; and saw a beautiful forest-like room, with a slightly large pond and waterfall.

If your dream created this, author, why are you getting over-critical with the size of the pond?

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And on the opposite side she saw a pile of folded cloths and towels, and porcelain chamber pot. She figured this would be the bathroom, she went over to the chamber pot, did her 'business'.

Let’s hope it is the bathroom then!

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Afterwords, she decided to go over to the pond and wash up. She removed her silk nightdress and underwear, and slowly submerged in the water.

Which words? For those of you wondering how soon it would be before the author and the Sue got confused…

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I was a good temperature in the pond, and then swam around.

…there you go.

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Then she remembered him mentioning about her virginity being restored. She placed her hand down to her lower area, felt it... He wasn't lying. There it was, her hymen back intact, and her insides re-tighten.

What has she been having sex with? Dolphins? She’s so disturbed by Loki giving her a hand job that she simply has to concentrate her whole being on her beauty regime.

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She grabbed a sliver hairbrush from the table and began to brush her damp hair. As she continued to brush, she was amazed of how fast her hair had dried so quickly.

It was rapid, near instantaneous, how fast her hair dried so quickly.

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She then made her way to the wardrobe closet to find herself something new to wear.

Somewhere there’s an armoire feeling all rejected.

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She opened the door, and all there was we're dresses of every kind; casual, formal, long, short, for day and night. She figured there be at least something normal; like shirt and pants, but no.

Loki doesn’t dislike women wearing pants. At least he never objected to Cif doing so when he was king of Asgard and didn’t bring it up when he was berating the Black Widow.

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So she picked out a casual cream coloured, strapless, laced dress that went down to the knees, with a gold silk waist band around it.

It’s not always a good idea to have a waist band round your knees. More lace.

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Now she noticed she needed shoes, and underwear too.


I generally put underwear on first. Odd Sue.

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She went to the first bottom drawer to find some, and saw that is had a whole pack of lingerie underwear.

Pack? This place has a Marks and Spencers? She finds shoes and then puts make up on.

No signs that she’s fretting or panicky. Trapped and forgotten about, potential rape and birthing unwanted babies in the near future. Why worry when you can dress and put make up on?

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She opened one of the small drawers, and found a pair of heavy silver scissors. Figured they might be for good use, if Loki tried to attempted something even farther then what he did last night.


Further. Not farther. Either will do, but the former is more usual as it’s mainly used for extent while the latter is mainly for distance. I doubt Loki would have allowed the scissors to be there if they could harm him.

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But she also knew he wasn't stupid either. But she was gonna take the risk anyway, and put the scissors underneath the pillow.

Of course if her tries anything other than in the bed, that’ll be useful.

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She then drew her attention to the heavily draped windows, curious to she where she really is.

-sigh- Author, will you please stop changing tense?

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She went to one of them, pulled back the drapes, and she couldn't believer her eyes. Outside her window she saw what only the Hubble telescope would see, a beautiful multicoloured nebula sky with legions of stars.

Lot’s of telescopes can see the colours in nebulae.

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She though: 'Maybe this isn't all that bad? A girl can get use to this.', but then she reminded herself why she was brought here in the first place.

Yeah. I’m going to be raped, repeatedly. And made to bear children for a Norse God. But, you know, nice sky. A girl could get used to this. Somehow, with every line, I’m siding more with Loki.

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But all she had we're memories, her own.

Er, well, yes. She sleeps for a few minutes and then a woman comes into the room.

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But the rest of her appearance was definitely a old woman. Anne figured she might be one of Loki's servants.

Because, like, old people can only be, like, totally servants, yeah?

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"The master, wishes you to join him for dinner... right now." said the old woman,

Loki wants to be King of Asgard, he wanted to be King of Earth, he is King of this realm. No way would he consent to being addressed as just ‘master’.

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She couldn't tell if it was day or night, considering she was in the middle of outer space somewhere.

So this place is also a space ship? Or just floats in space? Where’s the gravity coming from?

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"It's well past in the late afternoon." said the old woman, "you we're napping for nearly eleven hours. You missed lunch, and now it's time for dinner."

That seems like a long nap, but what timeframe are these people on? Asgardian hours could be longer or shorter and there are no reference points for any stable timeframe. So the woman helps Anne get ready, which involves a new outfit and shoes and everything. Because the white and gold knee-length number was too day-wear, or something.

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It was beautiful gold dress, with a black waits band, and black lace covering half of the right side.

Again with the lace.

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After the old woman fixed her up, she led Anne to the doors and out the bedroom. Her, and the old woman walked down a long corridor, with millions of rooms on each end, and dimly lit lanterns.

Okay, we’re all prone to exaggerate, but given that a standard door is three feet wide, even if we discount the walls between them and reduce the number to a million on each end, or ’side’ as it’s known here in sanity land, that’s three million feet. Or, a corridor of nearly fifty seven thousand miles! Just for comparison, Earth’s equator is twenty-four thousand, nine hundred and two miles. That’s a long bloomin’ walk! People shouldn’t use big numbers when they don’t know what they mean. Mind you, if I had to pay to light that, I’d use low wattage bulbs too.

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But, it was nice to be out of the huge bedroom.


And going to the guy who wants to rape you preggers. And who hasn’t told you that the bedroom would be the only place he’d do it.

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Finally, they came to a long staircase, and down into the main hall.

I wonder if she’s hungry by now. And carrying her shoes. With her feet bleeding.

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They stopped at a doorway, the woman opened it, and lead Anne into the dinning hall.

The hall for loud noises!

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She saw a long wooden table, covered with such lavish delicacies and centrepieces. There; were freshly prepared meats and seafood, cheeses platters, fresh baked breads, fruits and vegetables, bowels of mixed nut, bottles of red wine, and pitchers of fresh water.

Bowels of mixed nut? Shocked

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It all seemed very delicious, and Anne did feel somewhat hungry.

Nothing like a good walk to get the juices flowing.

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She saw her spot at one end of the table for her, but then she saw at the far end was Loki.

Just one read through should have given the author the clarity to see that line needs re-writing.

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Giving her sly, charming smirk directly towards her.


I’m trying to mentally picture Loki doing a sly, charming smirk. Right now, in my mind’s eye, Tom Hiddleston looks like he’s had a stroke.

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And Anne could feel her appetite slowly fading.

Why? It’s not like you didn’t know that Loki would be there.

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"So glad you can join me for dinner. I'm sure you had no trouble getting here with Merida's help?" he said,
'Merida?' she though, then she realized it was the old woman servant who helped her get ready and lead her her to the dinning hall.

Patronising bitch. She got you ready and walked down a corridor over twice the length of the Earth’s equator and you never figured the old servant could have such a thing as a name? By the way, Merida is a corruption of Meredith, an Old English name meaning cheerful, joyous, mirthful. Which given the disposition of Merida, is about the funniest thing in this story.

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"Have a seat, you must be hungry?" he said,

Or just eat some food. Whatever.

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Anne quickly went to her seat at the table, avoiding her gaze at Loki. Two more faceless servants came to pull out her chair for her. She sat down, and the servants tucked her in, and began to serve them them they're dinner. They first offered them bowels of consomme soup to start off with. Anne thanked them, and began to slowly eat her soup. She managed to take a few small spoon fulls, but she still felt he stomach being tangled in knots. By the time she had finished, it was already time to serve they're dinner. The Servants were there to cut the meat, slice the bread, spoon in the cooked vegetables, and pour they're goblets with wine. Anne took in a few bites of meat and veggie, and a few pieces of bread with cheese.

I printed that in it’s entirety because, really, where do you start? Servants who tuck you in? Serving the ’them them they’re dinner’? The fact that they eat soup? Soup is a liquid, you drink it. Even consommé from a bowel. I can understand mixing up ‘their’ and ‘their‘, but ‘pour they’re goblets with wine’? The author often does the same thing with ‘were’ and ‘we’re’ too. Anne has a few bites of meat and vegetarian?

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So enough; they're meal was done, and the servants cleared they're plates, and served them bowels of fresh cream with a few cut pieces of fruit for dessert.

More bowels.

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Anne still continued to eat and avoid he gaze at Loki. Then he spoke;
"These berries are indeed sweet, and with the cream even more." he said as he tasted the cream from his fingertips, "But you are even sweeter."

Poor Loki is still addled.

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Anne was shocked at what he just said. How could he... But then she remembered that night, where his hand was. She swore she could feel what she just ate rise up from her stomach, and taste the bile of it in her mouth.

Actually, I took Loki to mean that Anne was sweeter than berries and cream, rather than, ’cor, this ain’t ‘arf as nice as your vaginal juices luv!’, but whatever. He produces the scissors ‘pulling them out - from his hand’, which sounds painful, and she’s baffled. She tells him that she’s not interested in sex with him and he should kidnap and rape some other girl. Hey, solidarity in the sisterhood, eh?

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frustrated and furious,


So much so that he forgot to capitalise his sentence,

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Loki rose from his seat to catch up with her. Then he said;
"Anne, I believe you are forgetting one little, tiny thing in this whole situation... YOU'R MINE! AND YOU ARE HERE FOREVER!"

Loki, put the caps lock down and step away! Nice mixing of ‘you’ and ‘you’re’ that falls between both and fails to be either. She runs for it, rips the mask of the servant who is faceless. This according to the type of gullible person who believes they can interpret dreams for other gullible people, means, ‘When you see a faceless person in your dream, it may mean that there is a person that confuses you. He or she may be showing you mixed signals and you fail to identify the real intention of this person up to this moment.’ Which almost makes sense in the context of this fiction, so it must be accidental. Anne faints and Loki carries her back up the parsec to bed. (Not really. A parsec is nineteen point two trillion miles). I know you people. You check.

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Despite what just happened, he made sure that this would be the night that they would consummate they're union. Just as he planned.

Will they consummate after the consommé?

To Be Continued...


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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:43 pm

This is the best snark I've read in ages. Squeaking with joy, here.
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Wed Oct 17, 2012 3:27 pm

Why do women in these stories all have 'perfect breasts'? What is the perfect breast and how do I tell how unperfect mine are?

Am I the only one thinking that this is just Beauty and the Beast: In Space: With 50 Shades of Grey? And... why does Loki kill everyone then bring them back to life and wipe their memories? Couldn't he have just wiped their memories in the first place and madly laughed while Ann was trying to get help from people who just thought she was crazy?
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Wed Oct 17, 2012 5:29 pm

Quote :
bowels of mixed nut

I've been reading too much Chuck Palahniuk; that made me think of the short story "Guts", where the kid has to eat his way through his prolapsed rectum, and he describes the corn and peanuts he tasted. Strangely, that mental image is much preferred to this Stockholm Syndrome nonsense.

And is it just my imagination, or does this Suethor's sentence structure remind you guys of those "writing skills" questions on the SAT's? You know, where the sentence is ridiculously convoluted and you have to choose which phrase to replace?
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Wed Oct 17, 2012 5:41 pm

The were/we're thing is iPhone autocorrect. Meaning that this was written on the author's iPhone/iPad on the spur of the moment. I write on my iPod, but I copy it to the computer and proofread it before I post it anywhere. But that's just me.

And doesn't Loki have like a whole bunch of kids? Oh, right, movie canon, which is not the same as mythological canon. Silly me.
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Wed Oct 17, 2012 7:37 pm

bleachedblackcat wrote:
Why do women in these stories all have 'perfect breasts'? What is the perfect breast and how do I tell how unperfect mine are?

Am I the only one thinking that this is just Beauty and the Beast: In Space: With 50 Shades of Grey? And... why does Loki kill everyone then bring them back to life and wipe their memories? Couldn't he have just wiped their memories in the first place and madly laughed while Ann was trying to get help from people who just thought she was crazy?

If you have to ask how imperfect yours are, they're not perfect, I suppose. Though I do wonder if a woman's idea of 'perfect breasts' differs from a man's. Most guys who write fanfic seem to think that 42DDD is the perfect size for a woman's breasts. I wonder if women are more realistic.

On the other hand, consider the Valkyries. They weren't exactly svelte.
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:18 pm

That'd be hard to maneuver with Razz. Seriously though, too big is too big. I can understand dudes wanting them to fit in their hands so they can do stuff, I guess but when they get so big that you can't see the woman's face or shoulders it becomes a problem.

Also, K sized breasts exist. Those are enlarged with implants of course. I swear there is a YT clip somewhere and its damn creepy. The woman is so skinny and they are so...gigantic. It's almost impossible anatomically.
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Wed Oct 17, 2012 9:41 pm

Quote :
Also, K sized breasts exist. Those are enlarged with implants of course. I swear there is a YT clip somewhere and its damn creepy. The woman is so skinny and they are so...gigantic. It's almost impossible anatomically


The woman with the largest boobs without plastic surgery has a pair that weighs 85 lbs and were measured at 3.5 feet long Upset They're waaay bigger than a size K. Of course they're also not perky, so of course they're not perfect.
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Thu Oct 18, 2012 2:13 am

Love, love, love the snark! Bravo!
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Thu Oct 18, 2012 8:59 am

grmblfjx wrote:
This is the best snark I've read in ages. Squeaking with joy, here.

rae wrote:
Love, love, love the snark! Bravo!

Aww. You guys! Blush

bleachedblackcat wrote:
Am I the only one thinking that this is just Beauty and the Beast: In Space: With 50 Shades of Grey? And... why does Loki kill everyone then bring them back to life and wipe their memories? Couldn't he have just wiped their memories in the first place and madly laughed while Ann was trying to get help from people who just thought she was crazy?

Because that would be quirky, original and full of imagination. And we probably wouldn't get the sex in every other chapter. I'm not sure of the source, it harks to Fifty Shades and Beauty and the Beast, but could also be any number of fairy stories, Disney films and Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart video!

But, Hiddleston did a radio version of Dracula for the BBC a few years back, where he played Jonathan Harker. This has recently come up for download on Tumblr and is causing mass squeeing amongst the fangirls. Not least because when Harker faces the female vampires, he makes quite nice getting seduced noises which you can find onYoutube. So another damn good performance from one of the best actors of his generation and it's all about the sexy groaning for the fangirls. I mention it because when Harker is being held captive at castle Dracula some of his lines are very similar to those Anne has in the story. So I wonder if it had an influence.


SouthSimGal wrote:
Quote :
bowels of mixed nut

I've been reading too much Chuck Palahniuk; that made me think of the short story "Guts", where the kid has to eat his way through his prolapsed rectum, and he describes the corn and peanuts he tasted. Strangely, that mental image is much preferred to this Stockholm Syndrome nonsense.

And is it just my imagination, or does this Suethor's sentence structure remind you guys of those "writing skills" questions on the SAT's? You know, where the sentence is ridiculously convoluted and you have to choose which phrase to replace?

You choose extremely strong meat for your fiction, SouthSimGal! I used to read the goriest stuff I could, back in the day, but find I'm getting squeamish in my old age.

The reviews for the story on Fanfiction seem to think that the author is foreign. She has neither confirmed or denied this, so I'm just going to believe that she's just a very bad writer.

EileenK98 wrote:
The were/we're thing is iPhone autocorrect. Meaning that this was written on the author's iPhone/iPad on the spur of the moment. I write on my iPod, but I copy it to the computer and proofread it before I post it anywhere. But that's just me.

And doesn't Loki have like a whole bunch of kids? Oh, right, movie canon, which is not the same as mythological canon. Silly me.

Ah! I did wonder at how she could get it wrong so often, when it looks wrong.

In movie cannon he did get raped by the stallion. In Thor, when Odin turns up to Jontenheim he's riding Sleipnir, the six legged horse to whom Loki gave birth. As yet no word on Hel, Fenrir, Jormungandr, Nari, or Vali. In mythology, Loki also has a wife, Sigyn. Her turning up will piss off the Loki fangirls good and proper.

In the belief that the physician should sometimes heal himself:

Quote :
At least he never objected to Cif doing so when he was king of Asgard and didn’t bring it up when he was berating the Black Widow.

The Lady Cif or Sif (she's either in the mythology), is in fact Sif in the Movieverse. Something a simple IMDb check of the cast listing would have corrected.

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I can understand mixing up ‘their’ and ‘their‘, but ‘pour they’re goblets with wine’?

Er, that should be 'their' and 'there'.

Quote :
Nice mixing of ‘you’ and ‘you’re’ that falls between both and fails to be either.

And that should be 'your' and 'you're'.

Yes, WGWer's are no more perfect that anyone. My proofreading should have picked that lot up. My apologies.
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Thu Oct 18, 2012 1:54 pm

Quote :
In movie cannon he did get raped by the stallion. In Thor, when Odin turns up to Jontenheim he's riding Sleipnir, the six legged horse to whom Loki gave birth. As yet no word on Hel, Fenrir, Jormungandr, Nari, or Vali. In mythology, Loki also has a wife, Sigyn. Her turning up will piss off the Loki fangirls good and proper.

Isn't it still debated if that's just a magical horse or one of Loki's kids in the film canon? You forgot that Loki kinda hates his wife and was off having sex with a sexy frost giantess (which is also why half his kids are deformed). So Sigyn MUST be a lying, crazy ass bitch that Loki was forced to marry because his daddy is mean and wanted to make 'ittle Loki's life hard by giving him a unsexy wife!!
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Thu Oct 18, 2012 4:32 pm

bleachedblackcat wrote:
Isn't it still debated if that's just a magical horse or one of Loki's kids in the film canon? You forgot that Loki kinda hates his wife and was off having sex with a sexy frost giantess (which is also why half his kids are deformed). So Sigyn MUST be a lying, crazy ass bitch that Loki was forced to marry because his daddy is mean and wanted to make 'ittle Loki's life hard by giving him a unsexy wife!!

Of course! If Loki, instead of being single, like fan girls demand, is married, he must be married to some bitch from hell! The whole thing is so simple when seen through fanbrat eyes. Actually, I didn't know that Loki hates his wife, so thanks for that. I read that he was tied with his son's entrails to a rock with a snake dripping venom on him. Sigyn stayed by him, holding a bowl to catch the venom. When the bowl was full she had to empty it, which caused the venom to drip on Loki. His writhing in pain was supposed to cause earthquakes. So I'd wrongly assumed he rather liked her and she him. As I said, I'm no Norse Scholar. I've read a few books and wiki'd it homestyle, but I know a lot more about the classical mythologies. And I was given a copy of Vicky the Viking as a kid.

As for Odin's horse in Thor, Branagh himself in the commentary track for the DVD mentions it is the six-legged Sleipnir. I don't think he mentions it by name, but how many six-legged horses are there?! But I'm happy that there is debate over it. Pointless internet squabbling over trifles, rules! Smile


Last edited by Summercorn on Thu Oct 18, 2012 5:47 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : spulling mustickx)
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Thu Oct 18, 2012 5:17 pm

Mischief Managed
Part 3

Quote :
Virgin Sacrifice

Or at least born-again virgin sacrifice. Let’s at least be honest.

Quote :
I wanna say thank you again to the members for adding, sharing, and fallowing my story. And to for publishing them.

She’s never going to get that right is she?

Quote :
Note: This story is about to become hot! Reader discretion is advised for those under aged. Also, this is my first time writing a erotic sex scene, so I do tend to be a bit bashful when it come to being that descriptive. I can't say the word Titmouse without giggling like a school girl. Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Loki belongs to Marvel comics and Marvel productions

And this time, apparently the Disney corporation can go suck monkey balls.

Quote :
As he held her in his arm he could see she was still in a dazed state, her eyes barley open or closed.


Should I make a rye remark? Or would that be too corny?

Quote :
None a clue what was going on around her.


Her’s not alone.

Quote :
As soon as they arrived in the bedroom, Loki gently laid Anne down on the bed, and used his magic to shift her out of her dress. She laid there on the bed, in the nude, with only a pair of gold fabric panties with a black lace trim covering her.

If she’s wearing panties she’s not nude. What, Anne even changed her underwear to dine with Loki? And why has every damn thing got to be trimmed in lace?!

Quote :
Loki smiled with admiration, she looked more beautiful than ever. He knew he had to have her right there and now.

Or here and then. Depends how you slice it. He caresses her body and kisses her. He’s getting quite excited.

Quote :
He had waited far to long for this moment to come. And now was the time to claim his prize tonight.
"My lovely bride." he whispered softly, "All mine."

To. Too. Two. Learn them. Is marriage for Loki something that just occurs with procreative sex? A little research seems to indicate that in Nordic life and mythology the marriage ceremony was very important and ritualised. Even Odin needed the goddess Var to supervise his union.

Of course Ann then wakes up.

Quote :
Soon the kiss was broken away, and Anne noticed she was completely nude (all except a pair of panties) and did her best to cover herself up with her hands and arms.

I often panic with parenthetical asides. You’re probably the same yourself. Yeah?

Quote :
"Please, you look so beautiful in your bare state." Loki said, as he gently placed his hand on her arms try to pry them apart from her breasts. But Anne managed to flinch away from him, only until he forcefully garbed at her, prying her arms away, once again showing off her naked upper body. Anne face burned with shame and embarrassment, and tilted her head down to avoid Loki's sight. But Loki noticed, and lifted her head up so lightly.

If he’s holding both her arms with his, what is he using to lightly lift her face up? Actually, no, don’t tell me. I suddenly don’t think I want to know!

Quote :
Anne's fear soon turned to anger, and spat at Loki.

Her fear spat at Loki!

Quote :
Which soon fallowed with Loki giving her a hard smack across her face with the back of his hand, the force of the hit caused Anne to fall back onto the bed.

She was never off the bed. How did she fall back onto it? Isn’t fallowing giving birth to a litter of pigs? Are we back to typing with one hand?

Quote :
Loki really started to take matters into his own hands now, he shifter out his own cloths (leaving only his pants on), and pounced right on top of her.

Yeah, we’re back. Typing style, c*nt and peck. Schlick Your guess is as good as mine as to why Loki has left his pants on when he’s trying to have sex.

Quote :
Anne recovered herself from the hit; still rubbing hand gently on her sore, red cheek, until she noticed that Loki was back on top of her. Anne tried to wriggle and trash her way out, but he had her pinned down tightly.

Wriggle and trash! Sounds like a great name for a band.

Quote :
"Not a very smart move." he said, "Just for that, i won't go easy on you. But..."
He then took her hand from her sore cheek, moved it, and placed it on his hard, stiff crotch.

Now, is her sore cheek or her hand pressed to his crotch?

Quote :
"It really does turn me one so much." he implied, then giving a devilish smile.

At least he’s stopped smirking. To imply, you have to make something known without expressing it directly. I would have thought that pressing someone’s hand to your erection whilst telling them that you’re turned on was pretty damn directly expressed.

Quote :
Not only could she feel how hard and warm he was, but how big he was underneath. 8, 9 inches in length to be exact, he was indeed hung like a stallion...

Well, according to wiki.answers.com: ‘the average horse penis around the world is twenty-four to thirty inches.’

According to Wikipedia: ‘while results vary slightly across reputable studies, the consensus is that the mean human penis is approximately five point one inches in length with a ninety-five per-cent confidence interval of four point two three and seven point five three inches.’

So, while Loki is on the large side for a humanoid, he’s no stallion. And having been raped by a stallion, I expect he knows that.

Quote :
He groaned with delight and smile grew much more across his face. But Anne burned even more with sham, and again avoiding his gaze.

Oh, the sham! The sham! The terrible sham!

Quote :
"Don't deny it." he whispered in her ear, "I know this is what you want. You know damn well what this is all about, you've experienced this sort of thing many times before. I should know..."

…I mean, I had to give birth to a six legged horse after I was raped. You don’t know you’re born, love.

Quote :
Wait, did she just hear him say that? Has he been watching her, before all of this?


Well, has he been watching her before?

Quote :
Loki saw the look on her face, she must of know that he had been watching her for quite sometime.

He has been watching her before! And for quite some time!

Quote :
"That's right, I've been watching over you for quite some time." he explained,


Yeah, Loki. We caught that. But thanks.

Quote :
"Out of all the girls, out of a the women on earth, you stood out among the rest.“


A self-centred clothes horse, with a lace obsession.

Quote :
He lunged himself onto her with a wild force.

Forest fire? Tsunami? Lemming migration?

Quote :
And Anne just screamed in protest, kicking and thrashing to escape.

Then she didn’t just scream, did she?

Quote :
But she was still no mach for Loki's immortal strength.

She couldn’t meet his speed of sound!

Quote :
His hands moved down to her underwear, practically ripping them off of her. Then he slipped his own pants off himself, releasing his erect and enlarged manhood. He rose himself up, looked into Anne's deep hazel eye, and saw a look of fright within her opposite to his wanderlust.

Wanderlust? Author, that word does not mean what you appear to think it means! Wanderlust is a desire to travel. At this point Loki should not be planning a camping holiday in North Wales.

Why has she only got one eye now?

Quote :
"Please... you don't half to do this" she whimpered, "please, let me go."
"Oh, but we're just getting started." he said, "I have already taken you as my bride, and now I am going to take you my own."

Loki, you’ve been doing so well this chapter. Think before you speak.

Quote :
He lunged at her again, he slipped himself into her, and took her newly restored virginity all for himself.

Er, when someone takes another person’s virginity, they don’t get to keep it for themselves. It’s just gone.

Quote :
For Anne, the pain was unbelievably intense, not like the first time she lost her virginity. She felt he was splitting her in two and felt something trickle down herself, fearing it might be blood.

Willing to bet she starts enjoying it soon.

Quote :
As soon as Loki was all the way inside her, he started to thrush his hips within.

His hips are inside her? No wonder she’s in pain!

Quote :
Feeling the roughness of he hard thrusting, his grip digging in to her delicate skin, but she also felt a slight ting of pleasure within that pain.

No, really? Rolling Eyes Hands up, who is surprised at all that she’s started to enjoy it? Not a forest of arms out there, I imagine.

Quote :
But she still kept quiet, she didn't want Loki to know she was feeling any pleasure from any of this. Then she hear him give out a light chuckle, dammit, he must of known.

Or he’s just remembered a joke he heard down the pub. Either works.

Quote :
Then he griped onto the back off Anne's head, plunging in for a deep french kiss.


He’s French-kissing her brain?

Quote :
His tongue explored every part of her mouth, and went straight down into her throat.

To paraphrase the great Flashheart from Blackadder: ‘he’s got a tongue like an electric eel and he likes the taste of a woman’s tonsils!’ He’s getting close to his zenith…

Quote :
But not yet, he still wanted to hear his little lovely moan with passion.
"Let me hear you scream." he demanded, but not a sound came from her "SCREAM FOR ME!" he gripped tighter on the back of her head until she let out the scream he wanted.

I thought he wanted her to moan in passion, not scream in pain.

Quote :
"That's right, let it all out. Let me hear how you feel!"

Well, this is a really bad story, based on a dream, which leads us right into My Inner Life territory from the off, Mr. Odinson. Laufeyson. Whatever you call yourself these days. Sorry that you’re going through all this but actually the author wasn’t really interested in you, just Tom Hiddleston who played you in the movies and on whom she obviously has a tremendous crush. The writing of this isn’t all bad, it’s just the spelling and wangst that’s getting me down. On the other hand, phrases like, ‘roasted coloured nipples’ and ‘bowels of mixed nut’ have had me cackling like a witch in a madhouse. So, you know Lokes old boy, it’s like Hiroshima and chemotherapy. Somewhere there’s a balance.

Quote :
There was nothing Anne could do; she started to give out slight moans, gasps, and whimpers with each thrush he gave.

STD’s! So romantic.

Quote :
And Loki was enjoying every single bit of it.

Does that make this pure, untamed erotica?

Quote :
Then he felt her tight up around him, which made him even more pleased.

It’s nice to know someone’s happy.

Quote :
And Loki could sense what she was thinking
"Don't fight it." he moaned, "Just let it come naturally. Let it excite your body!"

Let the come come! Naturally, like rape is. Let it excite your body!

Quote :
Anne still couldn't help but moan with intense pleasure and pain as Loki continued to plow her like a professional porn star.

Plow? Was that plough? What an odd euphemism . I mean I’ve heard the phrase ’he ploughed her furrow’ before, but not recently. It’s quite old-fashioned.

Quote :
Anne could feel his hot, liquid essence released into her body, like liquid fire.

He’s really got some bad diseases hasn’t he?

Quote :
Afterwords, Loki collapsed onto the other side of the bed breathing heavily. He then slipped out of her body, seeing his own bodily spending mixed with her newly shed virgin blood.

He was still inside her the other side of the bed? How’s that work? Small bed or elastic cock? The latter, I hope. The thought of the twang makes me smile.

Quote :
And dozed off while cuddling himself behind her and held he tight. And stayed right awake, still in disbelief and in shame of what had just transpired how could she sleep.

So he’s dozed off and right awake and she’s awake too. …I think. scratch


To Be Continued...

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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Thu Oct 18, 2012 9:35 pm

Summercorn wrote:

As for Odin's horse in Thor, Branagh himself in the commentary track for the DVD mentions it is the six-legged Sleipnir. I don't think he mentions it by name, but how many six-legged horses are there?! But I'm happy that there is debate over it. Pointless internet squabbling over trifles, rules! Smile

Sleipnir has eight legs, I believe. I haven't watched the movie for a while, but if I remember correctly the horse Odin rides has eight legs.

Great snark by the way. I about died laughing. XD
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Thu Oct 18, 2012 10:15 pm

God her sex scene was so boring...your snark made it much better. She apparently doesn't proofread her work very well or at all. Assuming the latter.
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Thu Oct 18, 2012 11:02 pm

Well I can;t tell you how glad I am that this sex scene was fully written instead of her just cutting away. It gave me so much insight into what the two people who thinking and who they are.

Great spork, it kept me from falling asleep while reading this.


Quote :
, I didn't know that Loki hates his wife, so thanks for that. I read that he was tied with his son's entrails to a rock with a snake dripping venom on him. Sigyn stayed by him, holding a bowl to catch the venom.

I haven't taken all the norse history classes needed for my major yet, so I could be wrong, but I always kinda got the impression that it was less hate and more he just wasn't in love with her, and honestly out of all the Gods in mythology that don't like their wives he's the nicest one (and she of course loves him to death and never whines about him having another woman on the side and goes through all this crap for him, though most of the ones in which he's really mean are written by monks, so I take them with a grain of salt)

Of course, if we're going by the comics Loki tricked Sigyn into marrying him by killing off the guy she was engaged to, taking the form of the guy, wooing her a bit more, and then showing his true face at the wedding. See?
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Fri Oct 19, 2012 9:15 pm

Thrushing??

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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Sat Oct 20, 2012 7:16 am

Ya-u wrote:
Sleipnir has eight legs, I believe. I haven't watched the movie for a while, but if I remember correctly the horse Odin rides has eight legs.

Great snark by the way. I about died laughing. XD


Thank you for the compliment Ya-u, and you are absolutely right.

Quote :
However, Loki had "such dealings" with Svaðilfari that "somewhat later" Loki gave birth to a grey foal with eight legs; the horse Sleipnir, "the best horse among gods and men".

I read that, dammit, how could I have thought Sleipnir had six legs? Going round the twist, I think! Sorry folks, my bad, bigtime.

Do you know, that's the first time I've read through that and realised the wording is ambiguous enough so that it doesn't say whether Loki was a horse or in human form for the birth! That's quite the cesarean.

I watched Thor again, yesterday, (with Rifftrax which was hilarious!), and yes, the movie Sleipnir has eight legs too. D'oh!

Watching the Branagh commentary with subtitles this morning, I really don't understand why there is any debate on the horse:

Quote :

We had a great head of visual effects in Victoria Alonso and a great VFX producer in Diana Giorgiutti. And they worked all hours that God sent with their team, to make sure that, if you needed an eight legged horse in time, then Sleipnir would arrive.

Sleipnir, the eight legged horse...

Yeah, I screwed up, Sir. Ken. Stop rubbing it in!

Quote :
Sleipnir, the eight legged horse, I absolutely love. For those of you familiar with Norse myths, you'll know that Sleipnir has many adventures of his own across the myths, and in fact, one of the challenges for us, when we came to this material, was just what to select, what to include.

That doesn't seem ambiguous. Does the debate over it being a magic horse come from the fact that it's there on Jontenheim, yet disappears completely on the journey and isn't in the room with Odin, his sons, Sif and the warriors three for the next scene on Asgard? It is kind of odd as to where the horse goes.

bleachedblackcat wrote:
I haven't taken all the norse history classes needed for my major yet, so I could be wrong, but I always kinda got the impression that it was less hate and more he just wasn't in love with her, and honestly out of all the Gods in mythology that don't like their wives he's the nicest one (and she of course loves him to death and never whines about him having another woman on the side and goes through all this crap for him, though most of the ones in which he's really mean are written by monks, so I take them with a grain of salt).

He does seem to be a creature of both darkness and light, doesn't he? As you say, once Christianity got hold of the myths and tried to stamp out the paganism, they did everything to make Loki more like the devil. One of the most interesting things about ancient beliefs, to me at least, is that they pretty much all had the sense to make their gods in shades of grey. Whilst most modern monotheistic beliefs are trapped in an over-simplistic good vs. evil.

bleachedblackcat wrote:

Of course, if we're going by the comics Loki tricked Sigyn into marrying him by killing off the guy she was engaged to, taking the form of the guy, wooing her a bit more, and then showing his true face at the wedding. See?

Yes, I do see. Thanks, bleachedblackcat, that was fascinating! I didn't realise before by how far Hiddleston had got that look right. He's got that devilish smile down brilliantly. And, I have to say, I love the panel where Thor says:

Quote :
"Tis my evil half-brother, Loki!

He looks like he's trying to shit a house brick!

littledorrit wrote:
Thrushing??

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I was going to make a speckled bird joke, littledorrit, but just figured Loki would at some point spoon on some yoghurt from a bowel! Maybe he'll try to romance Ann by sharing his bowel of yoghurt.


Last edited by Summercorn on Sat Oct 20, 2012 7:20 am; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : quotes in wrong place. And spelling.)
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Sun Oct 21, 2012 6:37 pm

Quote :
Mischief Managed

Part 4

Comfortably Numb

Neither of them are. Comfortably numb, I mean. Not in this chapter.

Quote :
Hello, me again. Once again I like to thank everyone on for adding, fallowing, and supporting my stories.

What is it with this girl and her fallowing? I believe I said that ‘fallowing’ is giving birth to a litter of piglets. Turns out that’s ‘farrowing’. Fallowing is either being left unseeded after sowing, or a light yellowish-brown colour.

Quote :
Last we left off, Loki had claimed his human bride, Anne, as his own by sealing they're union of rough, ravishing, lust filled sexual ecstasy.

Really? Last I read, Loki had not got married and had just brutally raped this perfect girl he found, in order to get her pregnant with his heir.

Quote :
Enjoy part 4.
Loki belongs to Marvel Comics and Entertainment, Paramount, and Walt Disney Studios

This time Disney’s back and has brought Paramount with it. Yay, let’s have a corporate party of faceless entertainment monoliths.

Quote :
She sat up quickly, only to feel a sharp discomforting pain from her lower body, and a moist feeling in between her legs. Suddenly, it all came back to her.

Her period’s starting.

Quote :
How she let herself be violated and ravished by Loki, how her body betrayed her by giving in to the wanderlust of the event.

Look, wanderlust doesn’t mean… Oh, never mind. Colbert

Quote :
And speaking off, she looked to her side and there he was.

This makes no sense. None.

Quote :
How could she subject herself to a beast like him?

Well, bluntly put, since she has no choice in the matter, repeatedly, by the look of it.

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The though of it struck fear into her heart.

I wonder why she doesn’t know the difference between though and thought. Is this another iPod thing?

Quote :
She's had pregnancy scares before, but this was entirely different. This was the seed of something more divine, yet sinister.

But it’s still a pregnancy that she doesn’t want, so it’s not entirely different. She goes off to have a bath.

Quote :
After a while underwater she slowly resurfaced and lean back agents the edge, only to feel a warm broad chest behind her. It was Loki;
"Good morning my dear."

How did he get into the pond without her noticing? I suppose it’s possible depending on size and ease of entry.

Quote :
Anne tried to get out, but she suddenly felt immobilize once again. Cast again upon one of Loki's magic spells.

Was she immobilised by a spell before? If she was, it wasn’t at all clear. I suppose there’s no point in mentioning that, in the movies, Loki never immobilised anyone without the help of the power of the Tesseract spear. Which he doesn’t have here.

Quote :
"You know that a human's gestation takes nine months and forty weeks.”

I know that human gestation takes nine months or about forty weeks, yes.

Quote :
“But since I am a god and you are mortal, it'll take a surprising less amount of time. It takes three days for conception in humans, but in this case three hours..."

No, Loki, love. I know it’s hard, and it hurts, but try to think through the whole sentence before you start talking.

The conception might be less time, but how does that translate into the length of the pregnancy? Three hours or three days, it still might take nine months for gestation.

Quote :
Anne froze in horror from what she just heard, "But, you might of already knew that didn't you?"

The whole sentence, Loki. Then talk. Please.

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'Three hours?' she thought, 'THREE HOURS!' now she felt screwed.

Well, duh!

Quote :
She could be pregnant right now. She moved her hand to her abdomen, but felt Loki's hand had already beaten her to it.

And we’re off on the great abdomen race! Three Hours Annie goes straight for the finish, it doesn’t look as if she can be beaten. But, oh! A superb last minute surge from Lascivious Loki and he’s won! Superb work there from the Asgardian.

Quote :
"Unfortunately much to your relief, and to my sheer disappointment it did not take."

Actually, if I was going to be raped until I got pregnant, I think that pregnancy would be a relief. She’s trapped in a pretty bad situation, her only real options are to give Loki what he wants, or take her own life.

Quote :
A slight sigh of relief escaped from her mind only. But was brought out by Loki twisting her face towards his, and by the look's of him he did not look to pleased.

So, by twisting her face towards his, (and remember he’s directly behind her), this causes her mind sigh to be brought out. Seems more likely to break her neck. We can but hope.

Quote :
"But know this..." he said, "I will get what I want, I always do. You will give me my heir even if it takes a lifetime!"

I have a wonderful mental image of Loki, looking exactly the same and Anne being in her fifties, explaining to him about the menopause.

Quote :
Cause in order to get pregnant means lots, and lots of sex. Which means endless nights of rough, violent fucking like last night until she's knocked up.

Didn’t the author tell us that she couldn’t say Titmouse without giggling like a schoolgirl?
She seems to have got over it.

Quote :
Later on in the moments that have fallowed thing around the palace of been quite calm.

It’s like some kind of random word generator escaped it‘s cage and went back to the wild.

As far as I can comprehend this, apparently the disembodied hand from the Addams Family has shown up. Nice cameo, Thing. So this place is now a palace? In space. I bet it has a drawbridge. I want it to have a drawbridge. Nothing could be of less use in space.

Quote :
While walking down the hall, Loki could not stop thinking of how he wanted his heir to come into this world.

Is this the thousands of miles long corridor, the hall at the bottom of the stairs, or the ’dinning’ hall?

Quote :
And how his former life had been from being an outcast and over throned of the paradise he once lived, to being a new ruler in a paradise of his very own.

Hard to call this as it depends on the timeframe. Loki chose to leave Asgard at the end of Thor, but mentioned to Thor: ’I remember you, tossing me into an abyss,’ in Avengers. So, at some moment between the two he either deluded himself, or he was brainwashed. We don’t know. We do know that Asgard had been at peace with the frost giants for centuries, but Asgard was no paradise. Thor mentions going on many battles and Loki certainly held his own with Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three on Jontenheim. And in Avengers, Thor told Nick Fury that no amount of torture would lead Loki to break. You don’t get to know that kind of thing about your brother living in paradise.

Loki is still fixated and broody as all heck. After his ‘mewling quim’ remark to the Black Widow, I find it interesting that Loki here really doesn’t seem to mind if his heir is male or female. Mind you, he vacillates from wanting just one heir to having lots of kids the whole time.

Quote :
Just as he was finished with his train of though he passed by the doors to her bedroom. Maybe tonight might present another opportunity?

You’re the rapist, son. About the only person here who can be proactive is you. What are you waiting for, a Rape, Don’t Rape sign to turn green? Loki, it’s time to put your big-boy pants on and… Well, take your big-boy pants… off again.

Man, I suck at motivation.

Quote :
He saw that she was a sleep, and came in to check up anyway.

Loki: the God of Mischief, Lies, Chaos and Dormitory Monitors.

Quote :
He approached her at the side of her bed, but she was still fast a sleep, giving out slight stirs and groans from her.

Stirs and groans from her what?

Quote :
Loki, slightly entranced by his sleeping beauty he couldn't help but wonder where she is in her dreams.

*Where do you go to my lovely. When you’re alone in your bed?*

I’m really pleased that Loki is apathetically entranced. ‘I’m like, a bit mesmerised, but not, you know, much. Or anything. I‘m trying to work up to a proper fascinated, but really, what‘s the point?‘

Quote :
So he placed his hand on the side of her head and peaked into her current dream.


*Tell me the thoughts that surround you. I want to look inside your head*

I mean, really, if you are unsure, how hard is it to check whether you’ve used the right word? Peaked, (having a peak or point), or peeked, (to have a quick look, especially secretively or surreptitiously).

Comicvine/Loki

Quote :
He is also an apt telepath, being able to control the minds of others, read their minds, project his astral form and can actually use his telepathy to span galaxies in instants.

So, this dream watching seems canonical in the Comic universe, though there was no sign I could see of Loki being able to read minds in the movies. Unless, when he told the Black Widow that Hawkeye had told him everything, that’s what Loki meant.

Quote :
He saw the memories of the other night flashing through, hearing every sound, and feeling every move that was made.

He realised for the first time that it was very dull.

Quote :
And noticed that it showed her in her submissive state, the sight, the sound, and the feel of her overflowing ecstasy.

You know how you can tell you’re seeing a really bad movie, when you see a flashback inside a flashback? We are now seeing a dream sequence in a fiction that is based on a dream.

Quote :
Oh how she secretly she was enjoying this, but it was no secret to him.

So if it’s no secret to him, it’s no secret to her and it sure as hell was no secret to us, how’s this a secret at all? I bet even Merida knows. I imagine even Kasey has an inkling, and he doesn’t even remember who she is!

Quote :
He bough himself out back to reality, and gave a pleasurable grin.

Either that’s, ‘he bow himself out, back to reality‘, or ‘he bought himself out, back to reality’. Either way, they’re both wrong, since the ‘bow’ lacked it’s ‘ed’ and the bought should have been brought. Bought is the past tense of buy. Brought is the past tense of bring. So we’re left with a sentence, starved of a comma, which suggests that Loki follows the tree branch of reality out of Anne’s dream.

Quote :
"Well, how about we make this fantasy into a reality, shall we"

No thanks. But, of course, he will. (This place needs a 'crying into your beer' smilie.) From this point on, I’d suggest a drinking game, where everyone takes a shot for each sentence that starts with ‘He’. But those few of us who made it out alive would be suffering dreadfully from alcohol poisoning, so on balance, best not.

Quote :
He slowly removed the silk covers from her, and he slowly leaned agents at her lower torso at the other side of the bed.


So Loki’s standing beside the bed, he’s leaning forward with his chest across her stomach and hips. And for some reason he’s a 45rpm being played at 33. (Kid’s, ask your parents.)

Quote :
He then slowly lifted up the hem of her night dress, removed he black and blue laced panties, and parted her legs to reveal the warm moist folds of her womanhood.

Now, you can take that at face value and Loki’s wearing the black and blue laced panties, which as a mental image is deeply amusing, or he’s removing them from her, in which case her legs are too short. From his position he cannot possibly get them down further than her calves.

Quote :
He heard Anne groaning and looked up to see she was still sleeping.

You can see what I mean about the ‘He’ sentences, can’t you?

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He smiled and proceed to carry on.

He kept going, marched on, drove on, pursued his course, in order to persist to persevere.

Quote :
He lowered his head in between he legs and pressed he probing tongue agents her.

So we’re mastur-typing again. I’m lost as to how he’s now positioned. Has he moved from across her lower torso? Seems almost impossible to give her oral sex from there without cricking his neck. Why doesn’t he just part her legs and kneel between them? He’d be a lot more comfortable.

Quote :
She still tasted ever so sweet, and continued to lick her up.

Thanks for that, author. I was worried that her vaginal juices had turned to cabbage water overnight and am now reassured.

Quote :
He soon here slight moans escaping from her lips, this made him more pleased. He then circled the tip of his tongue agents her clit, and then moisten his finger in his mouth and slid it into her warm tightness.

Titmouse.

Quote :
He continued to lick he, suck her, and stroke her insides, and hear her moans grow louder and louder with each action.

I’m damned impressed that he’s able to have oral sex with her, and himself, at the same time!

Quote :
After a few moments he could sense her orgasm coming on within her.

Well, her orgasm is hardly going to hit within the wardrobe closet now, is it? If Loki can read her every thought, see her dreams, feel her every sensation, doesn’t it seem that he would find her really boring, very rapidly? I know I have.

Quote :
He kept going and going until she screamed in intense pleasure at the top of her lung.

Our last sentence for a while that starts with ‘He’. Thank the fates.

Quote :
And as he stopped, Anne began to stir up and awoke to her horror and humiliation to find Loki in between her legs.

Bullshit. No way can you orgasm, screaming at the top of your lungs and still be asleep. Faking an orgasm is one thing. Having an orgasm then faking you slept through it? That’s low. Lower than a snake’s belly. Damn you, you Sue! Damn you to HADES!!!

…Er. Sorry. (cough.) …Just had a moment there, but I’m back now. Promise.

Oh, and Loki is now described as being between her legs. Never got on the bed or moved there that we were told.

Quote :
She tired to kick him off, but he blocked every kick and forcefully held her back with his iron force.

Is this different to his ‘iron grip’ that we’ve been told about at least half a dozen times?

Quote :
"You Bastard!" she cried, "Sick, Twisted, Perverted, Bas.."

Bas…king shark? Bas-relief? Basket case?

Quote :
"Now, now my sweet." he complied, "Don't deny what had just happened. You know you enjoyed it."

I don’t know what word you were going for there, author, but it wasn’t complied.

Quote :
He shifted out of his cloths, and moved up closer agents her.

Hiddleston has mentioned a couple of times that the costumes he wears as Loki usually take about half an hour to get into, or out of. And that’s with assistance. Loki seems to get undressed like Frank Drebin did in Naked Gun. I guess after a thousand years, he’s had the practice.

Quote :
She tried her best to protest Loki's action. But with no luck yet again as he wrapped her legs around his waist and slipped his stiff manhood in.

Slipped? So this time he’s being gentle. After all, he only decided to not go easy on her because she spat at him. Right?

Quote :
Anne kept screaming and crying with each forceful, painful thrust he gave.

Really, no matter how you cut it, the movie-verse Loki is a damn good-looking bloke. Otherwise our author wouldn’t be presenting us with her wet dream about the guy. Perfect genetics or otherwise, why is he persisting with this hypocritical harridan, when one trawl across the net would find any number of healthy, good-looking women from Loki’s army, who would be only too pleased to be where Anne is now? He could have scores of heirs and heiresses from a harem that would contain women who would vie with each other to fulfil his every sexual whim. This is not mischievous, it’s not chaotic. It’s just perverse. And stupid.

So he’s not being gentle this time either. Really, for a ‘sensual rough love story‘, as this was described, it’s not a bit sensual and love is felt by neither party. It’s just a rather sordid rape-fic that not only makes me thankful I don’t dream tripe like this, but has all my pity here with Loki, not Anne, which I’m sure wasn’t the author’s intent at all.

Quote :
He the threw her the the foot of the bed, and flipped her on her side facing towards the gold standing mirror on the other side.

What’s with all the random use of the word ‘the’ here?

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Loki crept up behind her, and placed himself inside her.

Wasn’t he just…? How the hell do you creep up a mattress?

Quote :
"Look, take one good look." he said, "One body brought together by the art of love"

No, that was Isis and Osiris. And she couldn’t find his knob in the Nile, so she made a wooden one and turned into a falcon to have sex with him.

Quote :
'Love? What the fucks love got to do with this?' she thought,

Tina Turner’s got potty mouth.

Quote :
Indeed this was not love, it was lust.

It’s not even lust. He’s just broody and wants you pregnant. He’s showing no real desire at all. Nothing more than an aesthetic appreciation. In fact, I’m wondering why he doesn’t just slip her an Asgardian Mickey-Finn and take her while she’s unconscious. At least it’d be quieter.

Quote :
She was enraged by it all, but all she could do now was watch herself get fucked in the mirror in a numb state.

Anne is on her side, looking in the mirror. Loki is behind her having sex through her legs. I expect it’s possible, but it hardly seems ideal. Cocks fall out during normal sex. All Anne has to do is push her hips forward when he pulls back and he’ll come out. I can understand her not wanting to provoke him when he’s already been violent with her, but if all she’s going to do is lie there like a pudding, it’s hard to see her as our feisty heroine. Particularly when she could prevent herself from watching if she just closed her eyes.

Quote :
It was like watching a sick, twisted porno... and she was the star of it.

And we’re out of here. Our author hasn’t updated her story for several months, despite getting quite a few nice reviews and I suspect this is one of the millions of ‘started it, then couldn’t be bothered’ fics that litter the net.

Thanks for the positive comments on the snark.


Last edited by Summercorn on Tue Oct 23, 2012 6:16 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : errant apostrophe)
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Summercorn
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Tue Oct 23, 2012 5:56 pm

Forgive the mulitple post, but I've just disovered that the blue box thing in Thor, is called the Casket of Ancient Winters.

Seems a more poetic name than:

Quote :
the frost giant’s power thingy.
That I used!
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Tue Oct 23, 2012 10:25 pm

Someone needs to tell Loki about how humans can now make babies in tubes.
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Thu Oct 25, 2012 12:43 pm

Shocked

Poor Loki ...although I do believe Hiddles would be going all hehehe over this and read it out in his best Alan Rickman impression.

Honestly, I understand people having wet dreams involving Hiddles/Loki, because face it, he's awesome, but this travesty...ARGH.

Loki has an even lower opinion of humans than Doctor Who's the Master (Simm's). He would never, ever pick a random human girl to be his immortal bride. Not happening.

Also, he doesn't seem like a rapist to me. He's an egomaniac and an attention junkie, not to mention kind of an arsehole in general, but I do believe that he would not stoop this low. Especially not if he was trying to make the woman in question adore and worship him.

Third, what's with his inane rambling? These sentences are coming from a bloke who says "formidable" and finds the most elegant way to call the Black Widow a "c**nt" (asterisc asterisc). He is eloquent, intelligent, and has a vocabulary that encompasses more than 300 words.

Gah. I'm feeling like summoning all gods of revenge and smiting this suethor in a fit of righteous anger. Angry
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PostSubject: Re: Mischief Managed. Not Potter, it's a Loki/Sue rapefic. NWS.   Sat Oct 27, 2012 6:03 am

The Scientist wrote:
Shocked

Poor Loki ...although I do believe Hiddles would be going all hehehe over this and read it out in his best Alan Rickman impression.

From what he says in this interview about Chris Hemsworth and him sharing bunk beds and him being the 'bottom', I'm sure he's more than aware of the fanfiction out there. The linked interview, by the way, is one of the most awkward and dreadful I've ever seen. What the hell is up with that woman?! So, I too believe that he'd find this hilarious.

Quote :
Honestly, I understand people having wet dreams involving Hiddles/Loki, because face it, he's awesome, but this travesty...ARGH.

If anyone's seen the nude sex scene in The Deep Blue Sea, I too can understand it. What I cannot get is why anyone would then think to write it out and share it with the world. Especially without proofreading.

Quote :
Loki has an even lower opinion of humans than Doctor Who's the Master (Simm's). He would never, ever pick a random human girl to be his immortal bride. Not happening.

Ah, but this one has irrevocably branded herself a Sue with her 'perfect' genetics. Of course, Loki is a Jontun/Asgard chimera and she's human, and every time Loki has bred with another species it's hardly gone well, but then, canonically, he doesn't mind that.

She might, when she gives birth to a wolf, or a dragon, or something!

Quote :
Also, he doesn't seem like a rapist to me. He's an egomaniac and an attention junkie, not to mention kind of an arsehole in general, but I do believe that he would not stoop this low. Especially not if he was trying to make the woman in question adore and worship him.

No, I agree. Judging by the link that bleachy gave us about his marriage, Loki in the comics was an even more ardent lover than Sigyn's fiance. So he's good in bed. Moreover, since she's trapped, why doesn't she at least try to mitigate the terms of her servitude by trying to please him? She was initially mesmerised by the tall, dark, horse-drawn cab to start off with, so he's attractive to her. Instead of trying to fight him off, she should, on the surface at least, be quiescent. Her behaviour is only hurting her. He gets what he wants either way.

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Third, what's with his inane rambling? These sentences are coming from a bloke who says "formidable" and finds the most elegant way to call the Black Widow a "c**nt" (asterisc asterisc). He is eloquent, intelligent, and has a vocabulary that encompasses more than 300 words.

He does come across like he's had a brain injury. I'm still thinking that travelling by Tesseract does bad things to Asgardian synapses. From:

"I am Loki, of Asgard. And I come burdened with glorius purpose."

To:

"But, you might of already knew that didn't you?"

Poor Loki.

Quote :
Gah. I'm feeling like summoning all gods of revenge and smiting this suethor in a fit of righteous anger. :angry

Isn't it sad that, every time I see the word Suethor, I now see Chris Hemsworth in a dress?

I'd be up for it. Avengers assemble! Summercorn smash!

We'll drink, we'll fight, we'll do our ancestors proud!

By the way, has anyone else read this?

How Hiddleston ruined fanfiction

It's funny, because it's true!
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