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 Lyra Malfoy: First Year.

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Kakashifan727
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PostSubject: Lyra Malfoy: First Year.   Mon Oct 15, 2012 12:06 pm

Here we go, my first try at this. I looked for an introduction topic in case I need to post there before I do this, but I can't find it. Read the rules and it said nothing about asking for permission, which some sites like to do. Sorry if I'm breaking any rules. This one comes to us from The Pit's Harry Potter Just In category. I do admit to making a few Sues myself back in the day, but I honestly never got far, realizing that my creations were utter shit. Still, people have to start somewhere right? Oh, wait...that's how we got Twilight. No link for you, sorry.

I don't want to kill the poor author, but I think she kinda deserves a little mocking. You'll see what I mean. Here we go!


Disclaimer: This is the only Disclaimer im doing, so pay attention!

Unfortunetly I dont own anything that belongs to JK Rowling! I only own Lyra and the plot, so please do not comment things like: 'You're copying JK Rowling'

and on that fantastic note... Thanks For Reading! Smile



Please, people if you can't spell YOUR DISCLAIMER right then why are you posting a fic for thousands to review on the internet. Hence the snakring, and the smile-face doesn't help matters any, it's annoying.

The grounds of Malfoy Manor where always beautiful at this time of year. The leaves where preparing to turn red and orange for the spring, which gave them this delicate pink colour. The grass was very green, and seemed to stretch for miles. There was a small gazebo near the back, where I often caught Mother and Father dancing. It was this sight that I, Lyra Malfoy woke up too.

As I got out of bed that morning I remembered that this was no ordinary day, no, this was my first day at Hogwarts. For those of you who don't know, Hogwarts is a school, a school of magic. When a child turns 11, is when they are first emitted into this school, and not only had I been waiting impatiently for 11 years for my turn, but I had heard about it often from my parents.

If we are in the Harry Potter section, we probably have read the books at some point in our lives. We should know all this already, but Suethor here apparently thinks we're retarded chimps or something. And note the odd phrasing at the middle of the last sentence. How can one turn their eleven years of age? I'd like to know. If this is just a grammar thing that people from other English speaking countries do that aren't America I'm sorry. But if it isn't...

Being different was normal for me, and going against labels, was just one of my many talents. The main stereotype, that I was quite famous for among all my mother's upper class 'friends', is how I acted when I was but a little girl, unlike other girls, I didn't ask for stories about princes, or creepy little singing dwarves I asked for stories about this fascinating castle.

A castle, which has been known to house over 9000 different wizards and witches at a time. A castle, which is where I'm going to be spending the next 7 years of my life. A castle, which is known as Hogwarts.

Many people didn't know this, but my father was quite the prankster in his day, and much to the chagrin of her mother, I would constantly ask to hear stories about the pranks, tricks and shenanigans that he has gotten up to. Unfortunately for my mother I had received this trait, but luckily for me, Hogwarts was the perfect place to harness that skill. With the memory of my mothers many rants in mind I began to walk down the hall into my brother, Draco's room to wake him up. He was the same age as I was, and like me, it was his first day at Hogwarts also.

HERE WE GO! Sue has to tell us how 'different' and 'unique' they are. This is a common feeling for most teens, and I admit to feeling it myself, but that was from something entirely different. This is just one of those attention seeking fanbrats who want to be perfect. Lucius is not a prankster, nor was it ever implied he was, going by my knowledge. Seeing Draco, he was probably even more stuck up and snobby, since people were probably less tolerant of MudBloods back then. Nice random tense change, and who is this 'her'? Did Lucius change his name to Lucy for a time and go around being a transvestite? Don't remember that either.

Blah happens, Sue mentions how she's close to Draco and describes their 'manor' and how huge and hard it is to get around. A mention of Dobby here, how she set him free by giving him clothes, and yet he still stays with the Malfoys. WHY? Is Dobby brain-dead: these people hate him and treat him like shit! Still, house elves in general are probably used to this behavior, aside from maybe the ones at Hogwarts. They eat breakfast, Lucius and the mom pander over the Sue and Draco going to Hogwarts...Then they apparate to Platform whatever the number is.


The station was completely packed by the time we apparated in. I sighed as I saw my mother, father and both put up there 'get-this-mudblood-away-from-because-me-I'm-beter-then-you' looks. I decided not to put mine up and smiled at everyone who looked at us, which was a lot of people - obviously I didn't counter the fact that our white-blonde hair would stand out - earning even more strange looks. By the time we had managed to get onto the train and find a compartment, I was sure that both Draco and I had gained a few bumps and bruises.

While Draco played a game of exploding snap with Blaise Zabini, an old family friend, I settled down with a book. I was reading one of my new favourites.

As I read I fiddled with my medallion; it was quite an extrodinary piece of magic actually. It was part of a twin set and Draco had the other. While his looked like a manly necklace mine looked like a delicate little one. We where given it to us by our Mother and Father one Christmas when we were both young. Its powers surrounded the trouble. For example, if I felt pain, Draco knew, and vice versa; If we where in trouble and were feeling a strong emotion then the other could tell, and finally if you said the incantation 'Mentem Nobis Annecto' with the medallion on you would have a mental connection with whoever wore the other one, so I'm other words we could read each others minds. Cool huh?'



*facepalm* How does one put up a look? Ignoring the fact that there are various things wrong with that sentence, much less the whole fucking paragraph, let's move on to her fancy trinket. 'Manly' necklace...I can't understand the rest of this, but I'll take a guess that this is where she gets some of her speshul powers from. Yep, mind reading, feeling each others pain(And eventual orgasms), random Latin sprinkled in with English. I smell a Sue here, not that I didn't before but...no. It's not 'cool'(surprised she didn't use kawaii or some weaboo here.) it's lame, boring, cliche and all out done before. More blah, Sue is reading, gets bashed for liking romance books when it a history book. Admits she loves fictional characters... Oh. Neville comes in, looking for his toad, and guess whose the person who will help him? Yeah, our Sue here.

Despite their reactions I smiled and shook my head, "Would you like some help looking for it?" I asked. Draco gave me a strange look but I ignored him as the girls smile grew and she nodded enthusiastically, beckoning me out to the hall to continue the hunt for Trevor; the missing toad. I couldn't help but imagine that as a play, it would be such an awesome opening-act song!

Compartment after compartment, Hermione Granger (Which I had learned was the girl's name), Neville Longbottom (who is the boy who lost the toad) and I walked through them all, occasionally receiving dirty looks, and encountering rude people. It was the moment we reached a compartment towards the end of the train that changed my life as I knew it.

Just like on every other door, Hermione swung it open and spoke first, "Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one."

"We've already told him that we haven't seen it," Said a boy with flaming red hair and a face covered in freckles. That was news to us though; Neville must have gone through this half of the train before enlisting the help of Hermione. Hermione ignored his rude tone and turned her attention to the wand in his hand. "Are you doing magic? Lets see!"

She's basically just copying everything from the book/movie by now and writing it down calling it her own. This is plagiarism, not fanfiction. Ron sounds like an OOC jerk, at least he hasn't started to kill anyone yet, and not much attention is given to Harry. He's just described as a dark haired boy with glasses. Then the whole scene from the movie is copied, where Ron tries to turn Scabbers yellow, and everyone introduces themselves.

"I'm Lyra Pheobi May Malfoy," I said including all my names because I always liked to introduce myself with all four names, and I found that if I introduced all my names, people tended to not realise my last name, most people stopped listening by my 3rd name. "It's a mouthful, I know, but my friends call me Lyra." I smiled at them. Harry smiled back whereas Ron developed this strange look on his face, I almost would call it disgust but it couldn't be; I had only just met him.

WHY DOES EVERY SUE HAVE TO HAVE FIFTY LAST NAMES? Is this a play on My Immortal? Sadlr\y, no, she's serio9us here I think. Note Ron's disgust, which doesn't surprise me; Suethor must hate Ron. Just because her last name is Malfoy doesn't mean she's bad; Lyra or whatever actually tried to help find the toad, so why look at her with such suspicion when you've only known her for like five seconds? More copy paste, but we learn that Sue here has apparently read most of the required books before she was eight. Of course, she has to be genius, no wonder. Sue changes into robes, and leaves for Draco's compartment. She tries to make Draco look like less of a prick by saying he's joking or trying to be funny when he says offensive things, but that's all just bullshit. More copy paste about how they get to Hogwarts with the boats and all, then cuts before Hagrid opens the doors, Neville finally having found his toad.

'Mentem Nobis Annecto' – Loosely translates to Our Mind Connects in Latin.

Hey everyone! Smile

This is a new FanFiction im working on! Smile Please review, even if it;s only two workd like 'that sucked' or 'it's good'!

No really bad flames though, please!

Okay, not I have too go before I become an explanation point natzi!

I wont be updating untill I get 5 reviews, so if you want to find out why Lyra's life changed when she entered the compartment, or who she chooses to sing Trevor's theme song, REVIEW! Wink

...That was a joke about Trevor by the way... now I will leave you with my horrible joke! see you next time! Smile



I despise you. You do not do that, pandering for reviews just makes you out to be an attention whore. Which you are. Well, I doubt she'll get any reviews. So I'm done for now. GOD, that was as boring as fuck...I'm gonna try and find more sporkable.
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bleachedblackcat
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PostSubject: Re: Lyra Malfoy: First Year.   Mon Oct 15, 2012 9:18 pm

Does Draco's necklace drink beer and watch women in tight shirts wash cars? Or is it the more monosexual manly?

I've decided Ron's superpower, he can spot Sues. That's also why so many of them hate his guts and try to make him into a monster.
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Kakashifan727
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PostSubject: Re: Lyra Malfoy: First Year.   Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:21 pm

Poor, poor Ron. Will he ever get a break? Probably not.
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The Scientist
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PostSubject: Re: Lyra Malfoy: First Year.   Mon Oct 29, 2012 6:44 am

Does anyone know how and when bashing Ron became popular? I mean, I'm not his biggest fan, either, but that's neither here, nor there. The bashing is usually ridiculous, and it's really hard stumbling upon a HP fanfic that portrays Ron at least somewhat in character.

Well, to be fair, everyone is usually pretty OOC, but Ron always seems to bear the brunt of it.
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Kakashifan727
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PostSubject: Re: Lyra Malfoy: First Year.   Mon Oct 29, 2012 7:23 am

Yeah, right here.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Gotta see if she updated too. Forgot to bookmark this one.
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The Scientist
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PostSubject: Re: Lyra Malfoy: First Year.   Mon Oct 29, 2012 7:33 am

Ah....okay. Thanks for the link, it was pretty enlightening.


So Ron gets Flanderized to the extreme because of the Draco in Leather Pants?

Well, I suppose you really can't have one without the other.
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