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 Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment

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Ya-u

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Join date : 2010-08-12
Location : A Cornfield in the Midwest.

PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Mon Nov 05, 2012 3:37 pm

Kakashifan727 wrote:
I still wonder if the author was drunk/high/UI while writing this shit. Only coherent explanation besides the fact that they are an idiot.

I've always thought it would be fun to try writing drunk just to see what I'd come up with. XD

That would explain quite a bit about this story, but I still have a feeling it's just a crazy fanbrat.
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SouthSimGal
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Mon Nov 05, 2012 4:16 pm

Last time, on Harry Potter and the Universal Telekinesis Feisty Sentiment:

We got a random flashback to the time of the Founders, at least, the time of Godric and Salazar, as all women in F.U.C.K.E.R.'s universe have been exterminated by a rare uke-virus. Some men have developed immunity, but others are left helpless and quivering the moment they catch it.

Anyway, Harry found a thousand-year-old dragon, hatched it, and then gave it to Charlie. This subplot will never be mentioned again. He also discovered that you can speak to dragons with parseltongue, and used that ability to convince the dragon he had to fight for the first challenge to just hand over the golden egg, rather than all of that "showing strength and skill" thing that happened in canon. Really, the whole chapter could have been replaced with "Harry got past the first challenge."

Oh yeah, and it ended with Harry passing out right the fuck out of nowhere. That can only lead to good things.

Snip Harry waking up in a cave, then leaving.

Quote :
He looked around and was surprised by the beauty that surrounded him. There was a luscious forest that had a beautiful stream. Wolf pups played around on the lower grounds which made it seem like they were playing the wolf version of 'tag you're it!'.

It can't be paradise without wolves. Or rather, wolfaboo sparkledogs:

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Even though it was a majestic sight Harry was still utterly confused on why he was here in this utopia of sorts instead of back at Hogwarts. His answer finally came when he heard the beating of wings against the wind. Harry looked up to see a rather old but still beautiful dragon slowly descending on the ledge in front of him. Harry took a few steps back so that he wouldn't accidentally get hit by the dragon.

"Where am I?" Harry asked the dragon once he landed.

"This young lad is a land for the rejects of magical society but its official name is the 'Land of Figs'.

Pfftt, reminds me of the Land of the Dicks from MAMD...

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I will never be sorry.

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These kingdoms of gotten this name for figs are the main source of food here. Here you will find Dragons like me, werewolves, faeries, elves, vampires and even a few demons.

What...

Why...

Where...

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Dragons are neutral so I can live anywhere among these lands however if you were of one of the other species then you would have to stick to your kingdom and not go past the kingdom lines unless you are visiting a relative/friend, going on the trade routes, need medical attention, or are trying to get peace treaties signed." The Dragon explained.

Okay, so the Land of the Figs is just another country. It welcomes in refugees of various species. Yet... only dragons can come and go freely? Huh?

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"Well that is interesting and all but my main question is why was I brought here when I am supposed to be at Hogwarts?" Harry questioned.

Please, Mister Exposition Dragon, enlighten the audience.

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"That I cannot answer

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however what I can tell you is that there are two men in the local village that you need to see before I can even attempt to send you back to Hogwarts. They live in a small cottage with the number one hundred thirty seven on its panel." The Dragon answered.

"The two men will invariably be paired up. After all, no two men can exist without being in twu wub with someone."

Also, place your bets on who the men are. Really, guess and tell me. I want to know how many people are expecting this.

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"Thank you…erm…Dragon." Harry stated.

"Call me Frankfrick." The Dragon responded.

Wow, another dragon whose name is a common human name with a cool suffix added. I'm bursting from the creativity.

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"Okay, well thank you Frankfrick. I better get going to the village. Will you meet me at the edge of the village in the morning?" Harry asked softly.

"I will Harry." Frankfrick said with a slight upturn of his lip, making it seem like he was giving a dragon version of a smile.

DRAGONS. SHOULDN'T. HAVE. LIPS.

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Harry bid Frankfrick goodbye and headed towards the village. By the time Harry reached the cottage addressed one hundred thirty seven the sun was at its highest in the sky. Must be around noon now, Harry thought to himself.

And I haven't even gotten the chance to do something completely ridiculous since arriving! Guess I'll have to squeeze one more thing in before lunch.

And yes, it was italicized just like that in the original.

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Harry walked up to the cottage door and gave the wooden door three short knocks. There was a small commotion inside before the door opened.

Time for your guesses to be confirmed. What do you think, guys? Who haven't we seen yet?

...

















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Sirius opened the front door slowly and was just about to ask the person what they wanted when he noticed just who the visitor was.

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Harry and Sirius stared at each other for a long time before Sirius called out to James.

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I'm sorry for the gifs, I just... how can I express that with words?

How can I possibly convey the feelings of utter betrayal felt that someone of my own species would write something so... repugnant?

I... I can't even pose the question without being tempted to use another Homestuck gif.

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"James, come here you'll never guess who has finally visited us!" Sirius called.

When James appeared he let out a small gasp before whispering, "My baby Harry is that you?"

"Mum? Dad?" Harry said with a sad smile before throwing himself into their arms.

"Yeah, I thought you were dead or in Azkaban! Why are you suddenly here?"

"Well, you see, F.U.C.K.E.R. needed more pairings to ship, so she called us in from beyond the grave just to describe our twu wub!"

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Sirius and James wrapped their arms around Harry and held him tightly. Harry didn't understand how or why he came to the Land of Figs but it was turning out to be an alright trip. Sirius and James led Harry inside the cottage and sat down together in the living room. Harry sat on the couch with Sirius beside him and James sat across from them in a lounge chair. There was a fireplace made out of stones that was roaring with orange flames and sending smoke up the small chimney stack.

Okay, a description of how nice their house is. That...

GAAAAAHHH I can't even comment anymore! The shark has been jumped! There is NOTHING that can impress me enough to force me to comment! It's almost as if, as the plot gets harder and harder to follow, the prose itself becomes more and more mundane!

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Harry noticed that his parents were wearing rags compared to the others in the village that he had passed by causing him to wonder how poor were their living conditions.

Okay, what were the other villagers wearing? What are James and Sirius wearing? How do they compare to normal, real world clothes? Will ANYTHING be answered?!

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They talked for a while but then it came to Harry asking the ultimate question.

"What happened to make you two live in the Land of Figs while I was stuck with the Dursleys?" Harry questioned curiously.

YES, DO TELL.

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"I think it would be best if we simply showed you the memory of what happened." James explained before tugging a pensive into the room.

Okay, a flashback. I can handle a flashback. It's better than an infodump any day.

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Harry was pulled into a memory of a stormy night. He was standing in front of the Potter-Black residence within Godric Hallow. Harry could tell it was that fatal day, October 31, 1981. He walked into the home and watched the scene play out before him. Sirius and James were playing with a one year old Harry in the living room.

Okay, where was Lily?

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They were giggling, tickling, and cooing for a good ten minutes before the front door blast open. Standing in the door was Albus Dumbledore and the old man was glaring fiercely at the family.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!"

Oh, I wish. I long for the days of My Immortal. Anything, ANYTHING is better than Feisty Sentiment.

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"Why the hell did you blast our door in?!" Sirius shouted."That child will be mine to kill." Dumbledore hissed.

"Why would you want to kill our poor little Harry?" James asked scaredly.

"It's the only way to restore canon! Look, I'm sorry about your 'son' and all, but once the Stu is dead you can return to Lily and have the REAL Harry!"

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Voldemort suddenly appeared and said, "He wants to kill Harry because of a stupid prophecy made about the five of us."

PFFFFFFTTTTT.

WELL GEE, RANDOMLY APPEARING VOLDY. YOU COULD'VE BROUGHT ALONG SOME OF YOUR COOKIE DOUGH TO SHARE.

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"What does the prophecy state?" Sirius questioned while James silently snuck upstairs with Harry.

Yeah, because there's no way Dumbledore would catch someone walking upstairs while they're talking.

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"There will be a demon child born as the seventh month dies and this demon will have control over the realms for he has the knowledge and power that the current rulers know not.

"He will use this power to make all female characters disappear and all male characters want to bone one another."

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Born as the seventh month dies this child will be the mate of the serpent king and together they will bring down the demise of the white bearded one.

"And as you all know, there are no white-bearded wizards for him to take down other than me!"

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With the new rule of demon and serpent king side by side all realms will live in peace.

Because if there's anything Voldemort loves, it's social equality.

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The demon's parents however will become the new rulers in part of the realm of the Land of Figs after fifteen years of being exiled there.

Okay, this is veering out of prophecy territory and into story outline territory.

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Born as the seventh month dies this demon child will bring great things." Dumbledore recited.

Without another word Dumbledore began throwing curses at Sirius.

"FUCK! SHIT! PISS! TITS!"

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Voldemort did his best to save Sirius but the two were quickly defeated by a mysterious hex.

Oh, so when do we find out what it is or what it does?

Oh, whoops, forgot I was reading something by F.U.C.K.E.R. for a minute there. Let me rephrase the question:

OMGOOSH F.U.C.K.E.R. YOO ARR SO GUD AT BULDIN SUSPENCE OMG I KANT WATE FOR MOOR

Quote :
Dumbledore went upstairs and sent the same mysterious hex at both James and Harry. The hex however rebounded off of Harry and hit Dumbledore causing the old man to lose what was left of his sanity.

What, huh? Why did it rebound? Obviously James didn't die, neither did Sirius, so how did Harry end up under a love shield?

And I guess the "mysterious hex" was meant to drive someone crazy, although why Dumbledore didn't go straight for the kill when he clearly stated that he wanted to, I'm not sure.

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Dumbledore disappeared from the house. James cried silently as he carried Harry downstairs to Voldemort and Sirius.

So, they're alive and moving, so what did the "mysterious hex" do? Why did it defeat them? How?

Also, WHY DID VOLDEMORT HAVE TO BE HERE? He did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

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The two slowly awoke from the hex that had been placed on them and rushed over to the upset James and wide eyed baby Harry.

But the hex put them to sleep, it didn't drive them insane. So why did it rebounding on Dumbledore do that to him? And why are they waking up after James when they got hexed first?

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"What happened?" Voldemort asked worriedly.

"He threw curses at myself and Harry but we managed to survive them however when he hit Harry it rebounded causing the old coot to become even crazier than before.

How could James tell he went crazy? Did he start laughing maniacally or something?

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Harry has a lightning bolt shape scar on his forehead now.

FROM. WHAT?! WHAT WAS THE CURSE SUPPOSED TO DO?!?!

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I am worried that he will come after us again. We should leave before something-" James explained but was cut off by Dumbledore's evil laugh.

So he DID laugh maniacally!

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Everyone was shocked and looked around wildly for Dumbledore. Without any warning James and Sirius were suddenly writing in pain on the floor. Dumbledore scooped Harry up in his arms. Voldemort tried to protest but Dumbledore waved his hand causing the lord of the 'dark side' to disappear.

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Dumbledore officially exiled James and Sirius to the Land of Figs.

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Since the memory ended Harry, Sirius, and James came out of the pensive. Harry felt dizzy and within moments he collapsed onto the floor.

That... was... about my reaction.

Seriously, now that I'm mostly coherent again, how did Harry survive? No one offered to die for him. They just said "Wait, don't kill him" and then got killed trying to run away. All I can say is:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Also, how did Dumbledore banish them? Did he teleport them there and they were all just, "Hey, we're banished."?

And what's with the whole "dark side" in quotations thing? We've received an explanation for why Dumbledore is so evil (shudder) but why is Voldemort good? He never did a single thing to convince us, not in canon or in this fic. The only testament we have of his character is Harry going on and on about how in love he is with him.

Quote :
James and Sirius stared at each other worriedly before James ran to get a healer. The healer followed James quickly back to cottage one thirty seven and it didn't take long to find out that Harry was alright. Sadly enough Harry stayed unconscious for the rest of his visit. Actually, Harry stayed unconscious so long that Frankfrick ended up coming to the cottage itself instead of waiting outside of the village. James and Sirius frowned and decided to write a letter before sending the letter along with Harry and Frankfrick to Hogwarts.

Why did Frankfrick care about this family reunion? Did James and Sirius put him up to it? If so, can't they just keep Harry overnight?

Quote :
Just as Frankfrick landed on the Hogwarts grounds Harry woke up. Harry opened up the letter and read it while still resting on Frankfrick's back.

Dear Harry,

I am so sorry that you couldn't spend more time with us our baby boy. We love you a ton but we didn't want to raise suspicions by allowing you to stay longer.

Because disappearing for ONE day won't raise any questions at all.

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Frankfrick came to our cottage when you did not meet up with him at least that's all that we could make out when we used the translation spell that Severus invented. Severus explained to us how you are in the Triwizard tournament and I am sorry that we cannot be there to cheer you on and dote on you.

Severus?! Snape hangs out in the Land of the Figs?!

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We wish you the best of luck and will try our best to send you many letters so that you can at least feel our presence even though we cannot be there personally.

WHAT

F.U.C.K.E.R., YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THEY COULD HAVE WRITTEN HIM AT ANY TIME?

So they knew that their only child was still alive, were in direct contact with one of his professors, and never ONCE felt the need to send him a letter to let him know that they weren't really dead?! And we're supposed to be cheering at the idea of them replacing Harry's canonical parents, who were willing to die for him at a moment's notice?!

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Be wary of Dumbledore and don't tell him anything that is important to you or someone else's life. By the way we found out that you were almost sorted into Slytherin.

HOW?! The conversations with the Sorting Hat are private!

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Despite what you may have heard James and I don't hate everything Slytherin we just disliked some of the beliefs that the snakes lived by.

Yes, James and Sirius are very pro-Slytherin, as evidenced in canon by... something.

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Well I cannot think of anything else to ramble about

Except for maybe asking you about what your life's been like these past thirteen years, but hey, why should I care? You're just my son that I was just reunited with!

Quote :
so I will end this letter now so that Frankfrick can get you back to Hogwarts.

Love,

Padfoot and Prongs

Snip Harry returning to Hogwarts and DUMBLEDORE IS MISSING, OMGZ!!!!!111

Quote :
Meanwhile on the other side of the Hogwarts…

Severus moaned as Remus had him pinned against the floor.

AAAAHHH SNIP IT SNIP IIIIITTTT

Snip Snape and Lupin--erm, wrestling and Dobby was WATCHING.

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However pleasant this scene was for the mates as well as any onlookers it quite came to an end when Dumbledore burst into the room.

Alright, now I wish I hadn't used up all of my "WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS" jokes on less perfect moments.

Snip a REALLY BAD fight scene between Dumbledore and Lupin.

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"OH FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!" Severus suddenly shouted in the midst of Remus and Dumbledore's insult war.

Severus levitated Remus and Dumbledore away from each other and into two separate corners before speaking in his "I'm the boss here so don't say otherwise" voice,

"Now you two will learn to behave or I will make you. First, Dumbledore you cannot control what I do in my spare time. If I want Remus to fuck me into the floor, mattress or wherever we might next make love then by merlin I will do so. You will get your potions when they are finished however I will not waste my time staring at a potion that is safe on its own for an hour. Secondly, Remus next time charm some clothes on yourself before you decide to tackle Dumbledore while nude and with an erection so hard that you could break stone. Thirdly, Dumbledore you need to learn to knock and not just barge into my private quarters. Also if you ever try to manhandle me again it will be the death of you."

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Why do I feel... incredibly patronized?

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After Severus seemed to calm down slightly, Remus offered to make tea and Dumbledore left after telling Severus to simply send the finished potions to his office when they were completed. Severus sat at the kitchen table as he cradled his mug of mint tea in his hands gently. Remus sat close to Severus and pressed his lips lightly to Severus' temple. Even though Severus wanted to still be mad at Remus he just couldn't and ended up smiling at the small loving gesture. That night just as Severus was about to lay down in bed with Remus he got an envelope appeared on his bedside table. When Severus opened the envelope he nearly dropped it in shock at seeing the contents it held.

"Why, it's the results of my HIV test!"


Last edited by SouthSimGal on Mon Nov 05, 2012 5:26 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : What is it with WGW and gifs?)
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Kakashifan727
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Mon Nov 05, 2012 5:04 pm

Fuck was that? FUCK WAS THAT? Shit and I thought Vernon was OOC. This fic...How many good reviews does it have? *shudders*
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Mon Nov 05, 2012 5:11 pm

Okay, this has gone completely off the canon track and into the What the Fuck Woods. You are incredibly brave for continuing to read this and risking your sanity. The quotes alone are brain-smashingly bizarre.

And I have to name a character Johnlazar Frankfrick now. Just because.
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Kakashifan727
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Mon Nov 05, 2012 6:10 pm

Shit, those dragons...*dying* OH GOD! At least use a RNG or something for the love of god.
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Tue Nov 06, 2012 8:48 pm

Last time on Harry Potter and the Magnificent Shark-Jumper Feisty Sentiment:

FUCKIT I'M NOT RECAPPING THAT

This chapter starts off with a quote. Very classy.

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"Things happen for a reason.

TAKE NOTES, F.U.C.K.E.R.

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It is the way that they are written in which they will be important."- A.V. Clemens

This is not a sign of repentance, sadly.

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Dear Severus,

I have been feeling off since near the end of the summer. When I went to a healer I got the most shocking news. As it turns out I am pregnant with Seamus' child. Since you are currently the closest family I have right now do you mind meeting with Seamus and I? Tell me tomorrow morning in the Great Hall if you wish to meet.

Sincerely,

Draco

Shocking?! You guys have been doing nothing but having sex (with no protection in sight), even in public dormitories! You really should have seen that coming.

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-The Next Morning-

Draco was lying in his bed asleep when he felt arms snake around him.

MOLESTORS IN THE DORM!!! MOLESTORS IN THE DORM!!!

...

...thought you ought to know.

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He sleepily looked up and was met with the gaze of his Irish lover. Seamus lightly kissed Draco and then moved down to kiss Draco's slightly swollen stomach. Draco grinned and snuggled into Seamus' embrace. Seamus caressed Draco's cheek gently and watched as emotions flickered throughout Draco's blue grey orbs.

Why on earth would anyone want to have sex in a public dorm? Did they kick everyone else out first?

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"How are you feeling baby?" Seamus asked softly.

"Just a tad queasy this morning." Draco answered quietly.

"Do you want to try to eat something in the Great Hall or would you rather me carry you to the bathroom?" Seamus suggested.

"Let's go down to the Great Hall. I know some charms that I can cast if the smells or noises start to make me feel ill." Draco spoke softly.

Mind if I share those charms? I'm started to feel ill, too.

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"I love you." Seamus whispered while grinning before kissing the corner of his mouth.

F.U.C.K.E.R.: THEY ARE SO IN LOVE! Who cares if we've never once seen them have a conversation about something other than how much they wub each other, the prose says that their wub is twu, and so it shall be!

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-Ten minutes later-

Dumbledore was livid. How dare one of his Gryffindors sit at the Slytherin table and in a romantic sense no less!

"It's not like the headmaster of a school would have the power to tell a student to sit at the right table! Nope, I've just got to sit here and watch angrily."

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The man may have seemed calm on the outside but if one were to take a quick glance at his eyes they would know that Dumbledore was utterly pissed off.

Pssst, F.U.C.K.E.R., your pre-teen vocabulary is showing.

Quote :
Severus had noticed Dumbledore's anger the moment he walked into the Great Hall and was deeply worried about whom had caused it. After following Dumbledore's gaze he noticed that it was directed at Seamus and Draco which caused him to become even more worried to the point that he might have had a mental breakdown if Remus had not subtlety comforted him.

I thought he stopped having mental breakdowns when he finally started mating? Is he so horny that he loses his mind after a night without screwing? Oh, of course, Snape is coming down with the uke-virus! Yeah, it took a while, but now even the adult ukes have been reduced to utter uselessness.

Quote :
Severus decided to try to distract Dumbledore from the couple by announcing that the potions he had made were in his office. It was a very lucky thing that Severus' plan had worked.

Wow, Dumbledore's murderous rages sure are easily diverted.

Quote :
Harry had elusively walked into the Great Hall and sat down during the entire scene and slowly began to gather a plan together that could help everyone in regards to Dumbledore's insanity.

With no effort or help from his friends, of course. Hey, where are Ron and Blaise, anyway (I won't even bother asking about Hermione, Luna, Neville, or Ginny)? All of the original supporting characters are gone!

Quote :
While eating his toast, Harry thought up the idea of visiting Nurmengard, a wizarding prison similar to Azkaban that was somewhere in Germany. What made Nurmengard such an important prison was the fact that it harbored Gellert Grindelwald.

Well, F.U.C.K.E.R. clearly did her research on the Harry Potter wiki while she was looking up all of those background character names for shipping purposes. Sadly, she forgot to actually read the books, or she would know that Harry had no idea that Grindelwald and Dumbledore were connected.

Quote :
Last night when Harry couldn't quite get to sleep he had gone sneaking into the headmaster's office under the protection of the invisibility cloak. The information he found out caused everything about the wizarding world to change for Harry had found a rather detailed journal written by none other than Dumbledore himself from the time the headmaster had been a first year all the way till last month of this year.

Wha-? Why did Harry sneak into Dumbledore's office? Did he already know that he would find the journal? Oh, and I'm sure Dumbledore has absolutely NO way of detecting someone when they enter his room.

Quote :
Dear Journal,

Today is February nineteenth of eighteen ninety seven. I cannot believe that my sixth year is already halfway over. Gellert Grindelwald has to be the sweetest lover I have ever known.

Whoa! F.U.C.K.E.R., using an almost-canon pairing? I thought for sure she'd pair Dumbledore up with selkie!Slughorn or something.

Quote :
Even though Gellert goes to Durmstrang he managed to pull some strings and ended up staying with me at Hogwarts for the last week or so.

Great, not only can the students of Hogwarts wander arbitrarily between dorms, but the students of Durmstrang are free to sleep around in whole different SCHOOLS. Is anyone anywhere actually learning ANYTHING?!

Quote :
t was his Valentine's Day present to me. Last year Gellert simply sent a beautiful locket with a poem and the promise of sex the next time we could have some time alone together.

Romance: F.U.C.K.E.R. is a master of it.

Quote :
However then I again I was not pregnant last year.

BLUH BLUH WHAAAAAAA

Quote :
As it turns out this past December while on winter break I had gone home to Gellert's place, which I had moved into last year

*bangs head against wall, in text form, because her gif collection doesn't embed in WGW for some reason*

Quote :
and there was a storm which blockaded us inside of the house this storm allowed for a rather strong need for comfort and body heat. During the storm Gellert and I had a few rather intense passionate sessions of love making. I had not realized I was pregnant until the middle of January and as soon as I found out I sent a letter to Gellert. According to Gellert's letters he was worried about me and the baby as well as excited that we managed to bring another life into the world.

There's nothing to say. Just, nothing to say. Dumbledore is pregnant, Grindelwald is the father, and I have so many regrets.

Quote :
During Gellert's stay at Hogwarts he refused to make love to me for the safety of the baby which kind of pissed me off

Because people talked like that in 1897. What, haven't you read the history books?

Quote :
but then Gellert showed me other pleasurable ways to enjoy each other. Even though Gellert is a year younger than me he is certainly a dominant

NO. NO, F.U.C.K.E.R., YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GIVE DUMBLEDORE THE UKE-VIRUS.

Quote :
and while he was in the bathroom I happened to glance through his bag and found that he had been reading books about how to pleasure me as well as books about what I should expect to occur during the pregnancy.

Is there anything in that book about where the baby is currently being stored? Because I really would like to read about that.

Quote :
Well Albus, how can I be so good to you without learning the knowledge I need to know first? Gellert! You are not supposed to be writing in my journal.

What? Is Grindelwald writing over Dumbledore's shoulder? Is he using a spell to write in the journal? Has he made Dumbledore's journal into a Horcrux and is currently pulling a Tom Riddle? WHAT. ARE. THEY. DOING?!

Quote :
But Baby, I love you and I just want you to remember me even in your silly book. My journal is not silly!

Why is Dumbledore answering in writing when Grindelwald is right there?!

Quote :
How about we stop writing and I do that thing with my tongue that you enjoy so much. I believe the book called it rimming.

Um, I'm no sex historian, but I don't think the term "rimming" had been coined by 1897.

Quote :
Sorry journal but hormones call. I will write again tomorrow if time allows.

Harry suppressed a small shudder as he remember the last part that Gellert had written in the journal entry

Hey, me too!

Quote :
before he moved onto the next journal entry he remembered reading.

Oh goodness, here's the big one:

Quote :
Dear Journal,

Today is May third of eighteen ninety seven. Something terrible has happened. This morning while walking down a corridor towards the Great Hall I had gotten attacked by Phineas Black.

Obviously, the same professors in charge of keeping students out of each other's dorms are also in charge of protecting the students from attack in the hallways.

Quote :
Phineas claimed that since Gellert wasn't here to protect me then he could have his way with me. I fought as valiantly as I could but in the end I was blindsided by a hex.

Sadly, Emperor Draco was not around to castrate and then pointlessly free him. SO MUCH COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED.

Quote :
Everything is foggy to me after that. I however remember that disgusting seventeen year old boy having his way with me. The nonconsensual fuck

Ugh, just say "rape".

Quote :
was too rough on my precious baby and therefore merely an hour after Phineas had left me bleeding on the floor I started to feel the signs of the beginning of a miscarriage. I screamed for help and thankfully the school healer happened to pass by the corridor I was in at that moment. After she cast a few spells she managed to save me and the baby from any permanent damage

Leaving the entire miscarriage plot pointless. Well, at least it's only a sentence wasted, and not a whole chapter. *Glares at Chapter 8*

Quote :
however I am now stuck on three weeks of bed rest just to be safe. Gellert found out due to the school healer's letter to him and he came over to Hogwarts immediately and illegally might I add.

What about Phineas? We know that in canon he was free, so if F.U.C.K.E.R. wants to tell us that he got punished, she needs to add a paragraph or two about him being caught. Come to think of it, that Terry Boot fellow was never caught either! Was F.U.C.K.E.R. too busy coming up with more names to ship to point out an important part of the story, or does she expect us to accept that Ron and Dumbledore never told anyone?

Quote :
Now Harry could see why Dumbledore could possibly hate the entire Black family and hence the reason why Dumbledore was originally after Sirius.

WHAT?!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

THAT'S THE REASON YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE, F.U.C.K.E.R.?!?!?!

So, because to that journal entry, we're supposed to believe that Dumbledore is so infuriated that he's developed a lifelong hatred for all Blacks? Dumbledore doesn't sound like he's developed a vendetta, he sounds like he's venting his frustrations about his roommate borrowing his sweater without permission! And if he's so "pissed off", why didn't he kill all Blacks earlier in life? Even if F.U.C.K.E.R. wants to argue that his hatred only took root once he "lost his sanity" in the Flashback-That-Must-Not-Be-Named, he's still just been standing around for thirteen years!

And this chapter was probably the tamest of all the remaining. Ugh, only five more chapters. Then I'll be freeeeeeee.
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Kakashifan727
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Wed Nov 07, 2012 10:01 am

GODAMMIT FUCKER! I hate you with all my being. I don't care how mean that sounds, you should not be allowed to type on a keyboard. Never. Use paper, then we can throw away this garbage instead of being able to accidentally stumble upon it again.
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The Scientist
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:13 pm

EileenK98 wrote:

And I have to name a character Johnlazar Frankfrick now. Just because.

Aw, you beat me to it! No
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SouthSimGal
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Sat Nov 10, 2012 5:06 pm

I'm back. Honestly, I had to keep reminding myself that I only had five more chapters to go just to continue with this spork. This chapter... holy shit. I tried to get started three times and had to stop because I couldn't think of anything to say to make it funny. It's like... the fic just started sporking itself.

Well, last time on Harry Potter and the Fuck You All Feisty Sentiment:

Harry was on his way to see Grindelwald and ask him to restore Dumbledore's sanity. Because a spell that makes you go insane can easily be removed through huggles.

Quote :
Since Harry was favored by Severus he got the potion master to sign a slip allowing him to leave the school grounds temporarily so that he could go to Nurmengard. Harry entered the prison slowly.

How did he get there? By train? By boat? By broomstick? HOW?!

Quote :
Harry was walking slowly because they decided to build this prison on a bloody island made out of jagged rocks that Harry could barely climb through and the wards kept him from apparating.

OH GOLLY GEE I WONDER WHY THEY WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITH A PRISON HOUSING THE LAST DARK LORD HURRR

Quote :
Harry finally got inside the prison and told the guards he was here to see Gellert Grindelwald otherwise known as prisoner number three hundred forty seven.

How did he know Grindelwald's number? Did he google him? Is there a list of all the prisoners and their numbers hanging somewhere?

Quote :
The guards gave him a map and a key to the cell before sending Harry off towards the ward of the prison that contained said prisoner.

THEY. GAVE. HIM. A. KEYYYYYYY--

THEY GAVE SOMEONE A KEY TO THE LITERAL WIZARD HITLER'S PRISON CELL

BECAUSE

THEY


ASKED. FOR. IT?!?!?!?!

We aren't even out of the first PARAGRAPH and I'm in this mood. Why did F.U.C.K.E.R. have to exist? WHY?

Quote :
The ward was old and nearly crumbled with debris yet it still held firm do to the amount of strong magic cast on the entire building.

"Gellert Grindelwald?" Harry asked softly.

"What is it?" Gellert called from his spot on a withered cot.

I guess Grindelwald gets visited by 14-year-olds a lot, because he doesn't seem the slightest bit surprised.

Quote :
"My name is Harry and I wanted to know if you would like to assist me with something. If you were to do this job for me then I can secure your freedom from this place." Harry explained.

Having said this, Harry suddenly realized he had made a huge and commendably stupid mistake. Obviously the guards would never allow a conversation to their highest-security inmate go unheard! A dozen guards immediately burst into the room, wands at the ready. Harry tried to explain that this was only to bring back Dumbledore's sanity through a ridiculously contrived plot. However, one guard was so high-strung (it was his first day on duty) that he accidentally shot a curse. Alarmed by the noise, all the others opened fire. Soon all that was left of Harry was a greasy smear on the floor. No fucks were given.

Quote :
"And what would this job entitle?" Gellert asked suspiciously.

"Helping your lover gain his sanity before he kills all of the students within Hogwarts' walls including myself." Harry stated simply.

KILLS EVERYONE?! When was it ever implied that that might happen? Harry read Dumbledore's diary-- it's the Black family he's angry at (for a really dumb reason) and he hasn't even done anything against them for thirteen years! All Harry is going on here is Dumbledore's "pissed off" look at Draco and Seamus, which was due to them sitting at the wrong table.

Quote :
"What has happened to him?" Gellert questioned worriedly.

"My theory is that ever since the day Phineas Black raped him he has slowly lost his sanity however with you and the child where ever he/she may be could help him gain his sanity back.

Speaking of the child, where is he (there are no female characters, so we can be reasonably sure that it's a boy)? Why has Dumbledore never mentioned that he had a son? Gay relationships and pregnancies are obviously well-accepted in this universe, so why bother hiding the child?

Quote :
I am of Black blood as was my father

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Crona can't deal with the besmirching of his blood right now.

Quote :
and we really don't want to be killed just because one of our cousins was some sick bastard that liked to rape pregnant males.

I love how Harry had to point out that Phineas only raped pregnant MALES. Pregnant females is one thing, but PREGNANT MALES? CALL THE AUTHORITIES (or not, I guess? What ever happened to the guy, anyway?).

Quote :
One of my friends also has black blood

Now you're not even capitalizing it! Well, it was about time Draco got one of these:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Quote :
and I worry that he might get attacked because it could hurt the baby he is carrying.

Not that it might hurt him? Look, I love fetuses and all, but shouldn't you at least mention that there's a person attached to it?

Quote :
I understand that you probably could care less and would most likely rather have revenge but I do not think it is right that the entire black family has to suffer just because of one lunatic." Harry enlightened him.

"I will help you but first we must find my son." Gellert announced.

"Also, you must pay me in commas. We use 'em as currency here in prison."

Quote :
"Tell me his name and I can find him." Harry said.

"Louis Samuel Grindelwald-Dumbledore unless he changed his last name." Gellert stated.

Well, with a name like that he'll stick out like a sore thumb. Dumbledore and Grindelwald are both household names in the wizarding world, why hasn't anyone been suspicious of his parentage?

Quote :
Harry pulled out a map that was charmed like the marauders map however it showed everyone in the entire world.

whut

Quote :
He placed his wand to the map and murmured the name. It took a few minutes until he spotted the name.

In other words, he googled him and found his address.

Quote :
As it turned out he was still alive and he seemed to have gotten married during the time he left his parents.

To a woman? OF COURSE NOT, THEY DON'T EXIST.

Quote :
Louis Samuel Grindelwald-Dumbledore was now known as Louis Samuel Grindelwald-Dumbledore-Nott or just Louis Samuel Nott for short. With the calculations Harry made in his head then it was plausible for Louis to be Theodore Nott's grandfather.

I didn't remember who Theodore Nott was, so I looked it up on the HP wiki (probably where F.U.C.K.E.R. found out about him, too), and apparently he's one of Draco's friends, and one of the only people he considers equal to himself. From a Death Eating family, of course.

Quote :
"It seems Gellert that your son has gotten married at some point because the map shows that he is now a member of the Nott family." Harry said with a small smile.

Gellert grinned before responding, "I always knew that Louis and Frank were the perfect couple."

"How about we go visit your son and son-in-law and perhaps even your grandson and great grandson?" Harry asked with a smile.

"Hell yes." Gellert said with a smirk.

It's established: it is physically impossible for F.U.C.K.E.R. to write dialogue that doesn't sound like it came out of a 13-year-old girl. She'd explode, or something.

Quote :
Harry stunned the guards and blasted Gellert's chains off of him.

What, did the guards run in? Were they there the whole time? Did Harry leave the room, stun them, and then come back in?

And oh yes, guards permitted to look after the most dangerous wizard of the first half of the 20th century are easily defeated by a 14-year-old schoolboy.

Quote :
Together Harry and the convict left for London to see the convict's family.

Traveling with someone in prison clothes isn't the slightest bit suspicious.

Quote :
The trip was quite exhilarating. For a use of travel they used threstrals.

What, were the thestrals just hanging out around the prison? Are there wild herds of them in Germany/Bulgaria?

Quote :
Harry found that Gellert had a great sense of humor and could hold a great conversation during their trip that was a few hours long. When they finally reached London they looked at the map once more to find the correct address. Harry and Gellert walked up to the house labeled seventeen.

Snip a description of the house.

Quote :
When the door opened it revealed two men.

The first man was five foot six with blonde hair just past his ears and bright hazel eyes. There were wrinkles in his skin but that was the only indication that he was older.

Alright, according to my math, this guy is 97 years old. I'm not going to get too far into the problems of age, since after all, Dumbledore lived to be 115.

Quote :
The second man whom had his arms around the waist of the first man

I always answer the door with my boyfriend clinging to me. What's the big deal?

Quote :
was five foot nine with light brown hair to his shoulders and pale blue eyes. He also had wrinkles in his skin and again was the only indication that he was older. If it weren't for the wrinkles he would have believed that these men were only in their mid-forties but Harry knew that they were in their nineties'.

"Father is that you?" The blonde man asked.

"Yes, Louis it's me. I can see that things have gone quite well for you. Hello Frank." Gellert said with a smile.

"Hello mister Grindelwald." Frank said politely.

"Would you like to come in?" Louis offered.

Once again:

This.

IS.

WIZARD.

HITLER.

CAN'T YOU AT LEAST MUSTER A "HOW DID YOU ESCAPE FROM A TOP-SECURITY PRISON?"

Quote :
Harry and Gellert nodded causing the couple to step aside. They walked inside the house. Louis and Gellert moved around them so that they could lead them into a specific room. They all ended up in a kitchen. Louis started making tea while everyone else sat down.

NOW is when F.U.C.K.E.R. starts describing exactly what's happening? Not when Harry and Grindelwald made their great escape, or when Dumbledore faced off against Sirius, James, and Voldemort, but when everyone walks into the house for a cup of tea? There are such things as PRIORITIES, F.U.C.K.E.R.

Quote :
Once the tea kettle was on the stove Louis sat down in Frank's lap. Frank's arms wrapped around Louis' waist affectionately.

GET A ROOM! There are guests in your house! NO ONE wants to see that!

Quote :
"So, why are you here father and whom is with you?" Louis asked curiously.

"Yeah, usually you telephone before arriving home after fifty years in prison!"

Quote :
"This is Harry and he broke me out of jail because he needs our help to stable your papa's sanity." Gellert explained.

"What's wrong with papa?" Louis questioned Harry.

"Over the years he has lost a bit of his sanity making me question not only my safety but the safety of all the students in Hogwarts." Harry explained quietly.

"What has he done so far?" Frank asked.

"He attempted to kill me and my lover,

For good reason! He just wanted to rid the world of Stu! So what if it was an overly idealistic dream, he had every right!

Quote :
exiled my parents to the Land of Figs,

Yeah, what an terrible event. Exiled to a beautiful land full of apparently wealthy people, where refugees of all species live in peace and are free to receive visitors and send letters whenever they like, described by the narration as a "utopia of sorts." Clearly Dumbledore is insane, dangerous, and holds a vendetta against the Black family.

Quote :
and was looking murderous at my pregnant friend just because the baby's father is a Gryffindor student."

Again, "LOOKING MURDEROUS." This guy's idea of punishment is banishment to a utopia. OH NO, KEEP THE CHILDREN AWAAAAAAAYYYYY.

Quote :
"That is rather a long list.

"There were, what? One... two... uh, fiv-- no wait, three things! Man, I can hardly count that high!"

Quote :
How do you expect us to fix this?" Louis said.

"Well I believe that if he had his son and husband with him then he would not be so heartbroken and your presence might assist in helping him gain his sanity." Harry explained.

Again, Dumbledore had Grindelwald and Louis with him for years after the rape, and he never acted as if he were particularly scarred, just kinda peeved. He lost the last of his sanity through magical means, how are a few family hugs going to cure him?

Quote :
After a long time Louis and Frank finally agreed to come with Harry and Gellert to Hogwarts, and together all of them left for Hogwarts.

What were they doing for that long time? What finally brought them to make that decision?

Quote :
Dumbledore better appreciate all of the work I put into making him sane again cause Merlin help me if he does not then I will ship him off out of the country!

Oh yeah, all of that work. Look, F.U.C.K.E.R., in real life, this sort of thing would take a lot of work. But never at any point in the narration did you indicate that it was anything but effortless to leave the country, break a guy out of prison, and travel back to London to convince his family to help. You skipped over all conflict just to make Harry look all the more ~*~SPESHUL~*~ and talented. He never had to struggle to accomplish anything, so why should we sympathize when he feels tired out?

Quote :
Harry guided the threstrals back to their breeding grounds before he lead the men up to Hogwarts to see Dumbledore. He told the gargoyle the password and went up to the headmaster's office while the men he gathered were still following him.

Wow, that was easy! Now, BOOHOO, feel SORRY FOR ME!

Quote :
"Oh Professor Dumbledore, guess whom I brought to see you!" Harry called softly.

Albus Dumbledore, the current headmaster, whom had questionable sanity

F.U.C.K.E.R., if you don't know how to use the word "whom", just use "who." It will be just as incorrect, but it sounds much less awkward.

Quote :
was sitting at his desk with a bunch of papers scattered on his desk. The man could admit that lately things he did nowadays were on a bit of a whim and were also a bit dangerous but he didn't mind no more because he was a depressed lonely old man that missed his husband and son deeply.

So he's not insane, just lonely. So the spell was a "loneliness spell"?

Quote :
Albus had been framed the day Gellert Grindelwald and he had fought for Albus had never fought with his lover and much less as publicly as the world proclaimed. When Dumbledore heard Harry say that he had brought people to see him he looked up from his desk curiously. Soon the man was gasping in shock at whom exactly his raven haired student had brought in to see him.

"Hello Baby, did you miss me?" Gellert said sweetly.

OW OW MY EYES, GET THEM OUT! GET THEM OUT!

Quote :
"Hi papa!" Louis shouted childishly.

HE. IS. A. 97-YEAR-OLD. MAAAAAAAAANNNNN.

Quote :
"Gellert…Louis… holy merlin I missed you both so much. Come here." Dumbledore whispered while his eyes filled with tears.

Louis ran into his papa's arms. Dumbledore hugged Louis tightly but completely broke down when he felt the familiar warmth of Gellert's arms around him. Harry sat down on a chair beside Frank and together they watched the family reunion. It took a few hours but Dumbledore ended up calmly curled up in Gellert's lap.

What is it with F.U.C.K.E.R. and her lap-sitting fetish?

Quote :
Harry watched as Dumbledore and Gellert's bodies suddenly glowed bright purple.

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Quote :
While Dumbledore and Gellert's bodies were glowing Louis and Frank's bodies began to glow as well but they were in a blue glow.

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Quote :
After the glow dissolved it left the older occupants in the room now in younger forms.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR---------------------------------!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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King Bee
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Sun Nov 11, 2012 12:33 pm

Well, at least they didn't turn into little kids like in most HP fics.
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Sun Nov 11, 2012 1:10 pm

King Bee wrote:
Well, at least they didn't turn into little kids like in most HP fics.

All it said was younger forms, I bet you anything that the 90 year olds are something like 9. And now the great-grandchildren get to take care of their grandparents and great-grandparents (One who is Wizard Hitler and the other is is suppose to be insane as fuck from being raped, yay?)

Also, why the hell didn't Dumbledore just call his son or write him a letter or something? It's not as though it was THAT hard to find him.
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Kakashifan727
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Sun Nov 11, 2012 6:09 pm

My brain has now exploded. This is just bad...there is nothing redeemable about this story at all.
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Sun Nov 11, 2012 8:28 pm

The craziest part is that when I went and looked at the reviews for this story there were tons of good reviews. Apparently there are a bunch of insane fanbrats out there that think this is quality fanfiction.
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Sun Nov 11, 2012 9:34 pm

I'm fairly certain it's impossible to get nothing but negative reviews at ff.net. Probably even Anne Frank /Hitler would have its defenders.
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Mon Nov 12, 2012 2:12 pm

The fridge horror. Oh god, the horror in general. I blame the sheeple, goddamn sheeple.
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Thu Nov 15, 2012 10:22 pm

Last time, on Harry Potter and the Effortless Prisonbreak Feisty Sentiment:

All that you need to know is that Dumbledore, Grindelwald, their son Louis, and their son-in-law Frank, started glowing and are now suddenly younger. Everything else is irrelevant.

This chapter starts with another classy quote:

Quote :
"Everyone has their own opinions but if you express them the right way then people might actually consider what you have to say."- A.V. Clemens

Poor A.V. Clemens. It's kinda funny when fictional characters run out of commas, but when it happens to a real person, it's no laughing matter.

Everyone, think of all those who lack proper punctuation in their lives. Imagine living life, even for just one day, without all the semicolons and periods that you take for granted. For just ten commas a day, you can sponsor a fanfic author in need, and help them on their way to a better life. Or, you could donate punctuation marks to your local Suethor Shelter. You don't need to purchase brand new ones just for them; even old and gently-used marks are sure to make a great difference in any young author's life. Make the right choice. Donate today.

Quote :
Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald had been lovers since they were in their teens. The two had grown to ripe ages in the hundreds range however now they were back to being teens again.

This sentence physically hurts me.

Quote :
Standing in front of Harry Potter were the seventeen year old versions of Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald.

Well, we can at least be glad they aren't children.

Quote :
Even though Louis and Frank had glowed as well they had not aged so drastically as the older couple. Instead now Louis and Frank were in their late twenties, actually to Harry the two looked around twenty seven.

Yes


I know


But why?

Quote :
"Professor Dumbledore? I think I have an idea." Harry spoke up.

"What is it my boy?" Dumbledore asked in his new younger sounding voice.

"Is it that we return to the world of canon? In that case, I wholeheartedly agree, let's flee the FUCKERverse immediately--"

Quote :
"Before this meeting you went a bit off the deep end however how about you use the fact that you are younger to your advantage by changing your life? What I am suggesting Professor is that the two of you take classes like regular students for this year and then you go off and travel or something until you become of a proper age once more to take back your headmaster position?" Harry suggested.

"Thank you for the suggestion, but seeing as I am still a hundred years your senior--"

Quote :
"That is a great idea. I am sorry that I was a bit off there for a while Harry.

GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

Quote :
How about you bring the sorting hat down to us so we can get sorted?" Dumbledore said.

You do not need to be sorted. You are the same person as always. Yes, Grindelwald does, since he's never attended Hogwarts, but Dumbledore is fine where he is.

Quote :
Harry got down the sorting hat and the short sorting ceremony commenced. Both Dumbledore and Grindelwald became slytherins.

WHUH WHUH WHUH

WHY?!

Dumbledore is the same person he always was! He hasn't expressed any sort of regret about being placed in Slytherin, and he's supposed to be as sane as he was on his original Sorting day, so why the change of house?

Of course, it's not the FUCKERverse unless EVERYONE is in Slytherin. I'm surprised all of those pathetic houses haven't been annihilated by now. Hell, Gryffindor only exists as a reason for Seamus and Draco's wub to be forbidden, and Ravenclaw was only mentioned to point out that Terry Boot belonged to it, and it disappeared as fast as he did. Poor Hufflepuff hasn't even been mentioned! Actually, lucky Hufflepuff. I don't want that poor, innocent house stuck in the middle of something as terrible as the FUCKERverse.

Quote :
Once they were both sorted Harry took them down to the dungeons to meet their other classmates. Harry visited Severus and Remus, and told them of what was happening. Severus offered to be the replacement Headmaster if McGonagall refused the position.

Ha ha, good luck with that one, Snape, McGonagall will be Headmistress so fast--

Quote :
When Harry visited with McGonagall later that evening he was honestly shocked when the woman refused the promotion

...

Quote :
when asked why she merely responded that Severus deserved the position more than her.

No.

Just, no.

FUCKER, you can add crack pairings. You can write Harry out of character. You can crucify the characters of Ron, Lupin, Snape, and even Voldemort. You can ignore half of the main cast. You can do all that, it's fine, it's just a fanfic, no need to take it seriously.

But you cannot

YOU CANNOT DO THIS.

Quote :
It was lunch time when Harry started to show any signs of what was unknowingly occurring to himself.

Word use is eating itself.

Quote :
Harry was sitting at the Gryffindor table with Fred and George when the twins noticed that every few seconds Harry would make an upsetting mewl like sound.

The comma deficiency was leaving him especially vulnerable to the uke-virus.

Quote :
The twins continued to observe Harry as if he were a specimen to be watched in the zoo. Harry's glamour had failed a few seconds ago revealing his lemur appendages but it seemed as if Harry didn't know because he showed no sign of fixing the broken glamour. Fred and George were smart twins even though they were pranksters

Why would their pranks keep them from being smart? Wouldn't it take intelligence to be successful pranksters?

Quote :
so it merely took them only twenty minutes to realize what was going on with Harry. It seemed that Harry was having trouble with the distance between him and Voldemort.

Yes, you see, Harry prefers to receive than to give, so he obviously has the attitude of a 6-year-old girl. It's not as if he has any identity beyond his love for Voldy.

Quote :
"Harry, how are you feeling?" Fred asked.

"I'm fine." Harry mumbled his lie.

"Harry, please tell us the truth. We are your brothers in all but blood." George reasoned.

"That's why we've been all but absent throughout this fic!"

Quote :
"I miss Voldemort." Harry whispered before burying his face in his arms.

"Yeah, I've been away from him for, like, two days! How am I supposed to be able to live without him here? Who will tell me when I need to breathe in and out?"

Quote :
Fred and George exchanged a look between them before they got up from their seats and walked up to the staff table. Severus Snape was sitting in the very center of the table as he had been announced as the new headmaster.

SHUT THE HELL UP

Quote :
The red headed twins leaned over the table and whispered in the new headmaster's ears. No one knew what the two had said to the headmaster but it must have been good because of the facial expressions that Severus Snape made when their whispered speech was over. Severus' face was full of surprise and understanding. The man nodded to the twins before disappearing from the Great Hall.

Milord,

I don't have much time to explain. Come to Hogwarts immediately for Harry. Don't ask questions just come over as quickly as possible. Your appearance could be the decision between life and death for our residential lemur demon.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Why is it a matter of life and death? What is making Harry so desperate?

Quote :
Newly Headmaster,

Severus Snape

FUCK YOU

Quote :
Voldemort was lounging in his garden when the letter arrived.

Yes, but was he eating cookie dough? WE NEED TO KNOW.

Quote :
When he read the letter's contents he would not admit it to anyone but he teared up ever so slightly. Voldemort packed a small bag that contained a few books and a few pieces of clothing before apparating to the forbidden forest. He walked swiftly towards the castle. Meanwhile inside the castle Severus was laying Harry down on one of the hospital beds.

FUCKER, is it so much to ask that you pick one Harry pairing and stick to it?!

Quote :
Severus made sure that Madam Pomfrey didn't touch Harry other than give the lemur demon an iv for his dehydration problem. Harry's body was shaking badly no matter how many warming charms that Severus cast on him. It was nearly ten minutes after Harry had originally been brought down here when the infirmary doors burst open to reveal Voldemort. Harry looked up weakly and gasped out an almost silent 'Voldemort'.

May I point out now how much I hate these "destined mate" and "imprinting" plots? I mentioned this a bit in my Mate's sporking, but I didn't go into much depth. The concept of imprinting is disgusting, not romantic. What is so sweet about two people who love each other purely because their bodies are forcing them to? I'm beginning to believe that the reason it's so popular in romance is because it has to do with the common master/slave kink; it effectively reduces both parties to slaves of their own bodies. It wouldn't be nearly as bad if it weren't only the uke who felt the effects; but we never once see Voldy in pain due to their seperation. It's all Harry, so submissive that his very nature won't allow him to forge his own life without the influence of his twu wub.

Quote :
"Harry!" Voldemort shouted as he ran over to the bed that the boy was laying on before somewhat desperately whispering, "Damnit Potter you better not be dying!"

Woah, when did Voldy become so tsundere?

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B-baka, it's not like I like you or something!


Quote :
Harry let out a weak chuckle, "I thought we already established the fact that I can't be killed?"

You can only become mortally wounded by the most small and mundane of things, never killed!

Quote :
Voldemort's lips curved upwards slightly revealing an almost smile. The dark lord wrapped his arms around his young mate and held him close. Harry rested his head under Voldemort's chin and fell asleep. While in Voldemort's arms Harry's shakes slowly ended and he began hydrated once more.

By sucking the moisture from Voldemort's flesh. He didn't need a twu wub, he just needed a new host.

Quote :
Voldemort watched Harry while unknowingly the two were being watched by Severus. The new headmaster

I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR

Quote :
was rather curious about the man he called master as well as friend's relationship with Harry. Severus could tell that even though Voldemort was still as ruthless as ever the Voldemort he once knew was beginning to melt into a puddle of goo and by Harry Potter no less!

It's because of FUCKER. Look, Snape, it's not too late. Two Avada Kedavras and this can still end.

Quote :
Harry felt someone's arms wrap around his waist and grinned up at the man whom the arms belonged to. Voldemort kissed Harry gently and the two headed towards the Throne Room of the Riddle Manor. It had been a few years but the two were still in love as well as controlled the wizarding world. Once inside the Throne Room Voldemort sat down on the throne before pulling Harry into his lap.

I want to cut off the the thighs of all the characters in this fic. Let's see them try to sit someone on your lap them, eh?

Quote :
Harry snuggled into the man's chest before their followers could catch them in a compromising position.

What? So lap-sitting is a "compromising position" (even though they're the most powerful wizards in the world and these are their followers we're talking about), but chest-snuggling isn't?

Quote :
Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald had taken over Hogwarts only two years earlier but since they had both been able to relive their seventh year of school and onward the newly young yet still quite old couple now controlled one of the Wizarding World's most successful schools and were doing a pretty damn good job of it. With the two in power they helped to aid the ultimate project of house unity and succeeded.

And with that, the dream-vision-thingy ends.

Quote :
Harry woke up with a loud gasp. If he was a seer then that would have been the perfect future however Harry was not a seer so disappointingly what he had seen was only a dream, a figment of his imagination, and it deeply worried Harry that, that plan might never occur.

Of course you're a seer, Harry, you're a Stu! There's nothing you can't do!

Quote :
The second task would be in a few hours and it also caused Harry a quite deal of stress.

Oh, look, FUCKER remembered that the Potterverse still exists. Don't get used to it.

By the way, how IS Harry going to get through this challenge? He never told Cedric about the dragons, so Cedric isn't going to tell him about the bathroom. Hell, does Harry even have the golden egg? It hasn't been mentioned once.

Quote :
Just a few minutes ago Harry woke up to find himself in an empty hospital bed and a note beside the bed from his mate as well as a note from Severus. Harry picked up Voldemort's first and then Severus'.

Dear my beloved Harry,

The task requires for a person of great importance to be taken from each champion. You have to know that you have caused quite a ruckus with the ministry when they found out that my name had come out from the Triwizard Cup. I will see you in the competition. I love you and stay safe.

Love,

Voldemort

So this is where the event described in the summary takes place! In chapter 12 out of 15.

Quote :
Dear Harry,

Voldemort was the name on the slip of paper that flew out of the Triwizard Tournament Cup. The minister freaked out for a good hour after the whole ordeal so I warn you now that the ministry will want to talk to you about all of this. I must say that this would be a great time to use your influence as the "saviour of the wizarding world" to gain control of the political spectrum, anyway good luck with the tournament. Remus and I will be watching from the stands. Oh and a certain weed on page three hundred and four of your Herbology textbook will help you out greatly.

I am getting curious now: how revealed to the public IS Voldemort? Blaise, Ron, Hermione, and everyone who's visited Gryffindor has seen Voldy. What, did no one think seeing him was something worth writing home about? Were they threatened? Is Voldy wearing one of those glamours to make himself look like any other student?

Quote :
Sincerely,

Newly headmaster,

Severus Snape

I WILL END YOU AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE

Snip the second challenge. Seriously. It's less than a paragraph long, offers no insight into anything, and of course, takes no effort on Harry's part. Remember that TOTAL BULLSHIT original version, where Harry's good deed was repaid to him, and we got to know Cedric a little better, foreshadowing the ending in which Harry and Cedric try to share their victory and defining Harry more as a character? That is carefully replaced with Harry looking up a passage on gillyweed, taking some from Snape's stores, and winning first place. The end.

Quote :
For some reason Harry wasn't thinking and so the second they both reached the surface Harry tackled Voldemort with a strong lustful kiss.

People who are in twu wub just have to share it with the world, you know. If you don't get the unsuppressable desire to make out with your boy/girlfriend in front of three schools of people, you never really loved them.

Quote :
Everyone watching gasped loudly at the passionate scene in front of them. The minister along with a lot of others in the stands glared at the scene in front of them. How dare Harry Potter, our saviour, take the side of our exterminator! With that thought in a good portion of people's minds Harry was fed to the dogs.

How are we supposed to be angry at these people?!?! They are seeing the rough equivalent of Bush making out with Bin Laden, and you're trying to make us think they're ignorant as to the matters of twu wub because they aren't swooning with adoration?!?!

Ugh, only three chapters, only three chapters...

Quote :
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Thu Nov 15, 2012 10:32 pm

Quote :

How are we supposed to be angry at these people?!?! They are seeing the rough equivalent of Bush making out with Bin Laden, and you're trying to make us think they're ignorant as to the matters of twu wub because they aren't swooning with adoration?!?!

You never know, maybe the whole Iraq thing was only staged because the two men didn't want their followers to think they were plowing,

long romantic nights, screams that would make the blood of lambs curdle, Bin Laden was the next Scheherazade and Bush the next suitor, the final one who broke his dear heart, but then Bin had some Bun in the oven. Bush did not want to keep this love-child. He did not want to care for it, you see. He wished to pry the unborn child from his lover-s womb and scatter it across Baghdad. And from the blood of this child was a war born, a war torn, something nobody except him wanted to fight

but if you dropped an oral paternity test on the ground that morning, it would indeed confirm that

he was the father

and gasps would be heard worldwide while a toothless smile, now ghastly, rose amid the ashes and whispered







ha ha
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:34 am

Oh dear lord, it just keeps getting worse.
I really like your snark of it though.

It really creeps me out that they keep referring to each other as 'mate.' They did the same thing in "Mate's" (Your snark of that was very entertaining, btw).
For example:
Quote :
The dark lord wrapped his arms around his young mate and held him close.
It seems almost dehumanizing. I'm not a huge fan of pet names either, but I can overlook that. This on the other hand really bothers me.
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Fri Nov 16, 2012 5:55 am

Hey, Southy - I'm really enjoying the sporking, but could you stop stretching the board, please?
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Sat Nov 17, 2012 10:28 am

Last time, on Harry Potter and the Death of All That is Holy Feisty Sentiment:

Dumbledore and Grindelwald are now teenagers attending Hogwarts (in Slytherin) and Louis and Frank disappeared. I guess FUCKER just forgot they were there. The second challenge is over, and everyone now knows that Harry and Voldy are a couple, and are suitably shocked about it. Of course, they are all ebul not to understand the speshul twu wub that only Harry and Voldy know.

Quote :
"You want to see a world of depression, then look inside my mind; you will see all the depression that there ever could be."- A.V. Clemens

Gee, why so emo, A.V.? Oh well, can't blame him (her?), I'd be getting pretty depressed after being quoted by FUCKER so many times. Also, I googled A.V. Clemens, and didn't find any results. Who is this person?

Quote :
Harry could feel the glares and the curious stares. Voldemort didn't bother to give any of the other wizards and witches around them any attention instead he chose to focus on Harry. It could have been better and it could have been worse. As soon as the two climbed onto the dock they were swarmed by loads of people. Harry honestly didn't understand why they made such nasty comments.

"Yeah! Stop picking on my wubby-wub wubber! He never did anything to you! Oh, you act like that whole war-and-slaughter-of-innocents thing was yesterday-- it was thirteen years ago, get over it!"

Quote :
Just because the dark side had some rather difficult ideals to get used to

"Sheesh, have you even given pureblood supremacy and soul mutilation a try? Intolerant bastards."

Quote :
didn't make the light side any better. Sure the dark side involved torturing but the light side told every recruit that they needed to die for the greater good.

Oh my gods.

Did...

Did FUCKER just parody herself?

Um, how do I even snark that? It's already been done.

Uh, how about:

"Sure, my darling wub has tortured and killed countless defenseless people. But YOU are the ones allowing people who have pledged their willingness to give their lives in battle to actually give their lives in battle! Who are the REAL monsters here, huh?! It's not like anyone on Voldemort's side ever had to die for him!"

Quote :
After asking Dumbledore for the charm to amplify your voice he began a speech.

How do I POV?

Quote :
"To all of you students, ministry officials, headmasters, reporters, and just random people; I am going to embrace my inner lion in order for you all to know the truth.

Because lions... are famous for their truth-telling?

Quote :
Yes, I am currently involved with Voldemort. The man may be the darkest wizard in history but he is my mate and therefore could never hurt me intentionally.

Why?! What laws govern the mating of those with creature blood? Voldemort's a human, so why is he even involved in them?!

And, oh yeah, he can't hurt YOU, so there's nothing to worry about! All you other people concerned for your own lives can give it a rest, because HARRY POTTER is okay.

Quote :
You should all be begging me to stay with him anyway because I have the power to get him to consider any suggestions I may or may not make.

And you're saying that in front of him? You know, manipulation doesn't work nearly as well when the person you're manipulating knows you're going to do it ahead of time.

Quote :
Currently the light side has been just as bad as the dark side therefore I am trying to make a grey side or in other words a side that involves a few beliefs from each side. The light side basically tells all their recruits to go commit suicide when they go out to battle for the "greater good". If you were working for the "greater good" then you wouldn't be intentionally trying to kill yourselves!

WEEEEEEEEELLLL.

We can go out and stop the wars right now!

Hey, those involved in war, guess what? You're committing suicide! That's right, the ideals and people you took into account when choosing to become involved aren't worth diddly-squat! FUCKER would know that, of course. The purpose you're laying your life down for is meaningless! Let's all stop fighting and skip in a circle while waiting for our enemy to wipe us out, because that is just the best option! YAAAYY!

Quote :
In a few days' time I will allow a reporter of my choice to interview me in order for the public to understand the beliefs of the grey side. For now, all of you need to calm down. We need to get through these hard times together instead of fighting like a bunch of baboons." Harry announced.

Fighting back when a mass murderer with a major following starts trying to take over the world apparently constitutes "fighting like a bunch of babboons."

Snip everyone quieting down (apparently that speech was so awe-inspiring that there is no counter-argument) and the other champions resurfacing.

Quote :
People in the stands explained to the others what had occurred while they were still underwater and the champions congratulated Harry on his courage.

"It just must be the Gryffindor blood in me." Harry joked weakly.

Because it takes a lot of bravery to whiningly defend yourself?

Quote :
Harry sat near the edge of the lake with Voldemort beside him. Voldemort held Harry in his arms while Harry rested his head on Voldemort's chest. If anyone watched them they would think the dark lord to be under a spell of some kind however their theory would be wrong. Voldemort was still trying to sort out the emotions he was feeling for Harry since he had lived at least fourteen years without emotions. Late last night Voldemort had been reading up on emotions and found out that the main emotions he seemed to have were possessiveness, lust, and happiness.

One of these things is not like the others...

Quote :
The results had shocked him but otherwise he was quite thrilled that Harry could bring out such strong emotions from him. These emotions could be seen as both a horrid thing and a worthy thing however Voldemort knew himself that the world wasn't black and white.

That's just the thing, you guys; you are going on and on about how the world isn't black and white, when in this fic, IT IS! There hasn't been a single ambiguous character, unless you count Dumbledore, who only went back and forth between being good and bad due to magic and love, and maybe Voldemort, even though he hasn't done a single good thing besides falling in wub with Harry, which he only did because they're preordained "mate's" or something. Not a single character is anti-heroic or anti-villainous, everyone either understands Harry and Voldy's twu wub, and is good, or doesn't understand it, and is ebul. Suddenly changing everyone's characterizations to make them either good or evil does NOT make moral ambiguity! It destroys it!

Quote :
Later that night Harry met up with the minister of magic to talk with him about the balance of power. Since Severus approved of the meeting he allowed Harry and the minister to use his office as a private place to get everything they wanted to say out in the open without fear of eavesdroppers. Cornelius Fudge had been the minister for the last few years but honestly the man had been constantly confused about which side he was loyal to that's why when he came into office he announced that he was a neutral person with no incline to either side.

I'm too tired for this.

Quote :
Harry and Cornelius faced each other in comfortable seats and began to discuss politics.

"It may not seem like it but I really took your speech to heart Mister Potter. Without knowing you told the world of what I have been feeling for the last few years. As a neutral man I am not inclined to either side but really that is only because both sides have a lot of faults." Cornelius Fudge announced.

"If you were allowed to do anything within your power of office without consequences then what would you do, sir?" Harry questioned strategically.

How is that strategic?

Quote :
"Honestly? –at Harry's nod Cornelius continued- I would repair the school system and allow purebloods to have slightly more power than others

1)That is not how you punctuate breaks in dialogue

2) WHAT THE FUCK?!

Quote :
however every magical being should have protection and be able to get jobs fairly."

NO NO NONONO

Go BACK, FUCKER!

What WAS that? You can't just throw out words like "fairly" when you just said that pureblood supremacy is the way to go!

Quote :
"If I were to back you up then you just might get the votes on those laws if you offered them to the counsel."

"You would really help me?"

"Minister, I may not be on the light side but that certainly doesn't mean that I don't want equal rights for all magical creatures. I agree that purebloods should have more power than others

FUCKER, do you have any IDEA what that means?! Why would you change the main trait that makes Harry the good guy?!

Quote :
due to their completely magical blood

al;kuraiowel;kfjsaioyfg;aoweraoijfakwe;

FUCKER. The whole point of the series-- the WHOLE GODDAMN POINT-- was that MAGICAL BLOOD WAS WORTHLESS. Did you get BORED?! Did you skip all of the pages that didn't involve cute boys?!

Quote :
however it needs to be limited to a certain extent. No one should be bowing to anyone.

Well then, what the hell does "more power than others" mean? I'm guessing it has to do with only purebloods being elected to the Ministry, which will only become more severe of a power gap over time.

Quote :
We should all work together to sort out our differences instead of trying for world domination because world domination simply won't work. My mate, Voldemort, tried that before and it backfired plus the idea of world domination tends to create you a lot of enemies within the second of you snapping your fingers or waving your wand."

Yes, that's the reason world domination shouldn't be attempted. Because it's dangerous for the dominator, not because those lowly half-bloods (which Harry was one of until a few months ago) and muggle-borns have any right to govern themselves!

Also, when did Voldemort show any regret at having attempted to take over the world? He never even mentions his former life once he gets with Harry.

Quote :
"Would you be willing to say all of that to the reporter when you do your interview?"

"Hell, I planned on that before I even came up here to talk to you."

"Alright, Tell V-Voldemort that if he wants things to work out then he can send me a letter stating when and where he wants to have a meeting.

"Not, U-Voldemort, not W-Voldemort, just V-Voldemort!"

Quote :
I must warn you though that my position as minister will end soon so if you want your ideals to continue throughout wizarding law then you need to choose someone to start campaigning against whomever the light side ends up electing for their runner."

"I will let him know."

Gee, I wonder who it could be?

Quote :
Harry and Cornelius shook hands before parting to their different ways. Cornelius headed back to the ministry of magic meanwhile Harry headed to the dungeons. As Harry was walking down the hallway someone came up behind him and covered his eyes with their hands. Harry panicked for a few seconds before he realized that those pale hands belonged to a handsome dark lord whom happened to be his mate.

Um, a little "guess who?" might've been nice.

Quote :
Voldemort brought his hands down so that they lay on Harry's waist. Harry turned around in Voldemort's arms so that he could see his mate and smiled up at the pale face. Voldemort leaned down and shared a fiery kiss with the raven haired boy but pulled away when Harry started to react exceptionally passionate for a simply corridor snog.

"How are you my beautiful?"

"Seriously, I have no idea how you came to be that way. Enlighten me."

Quote :
"I am doing fine. The meeting went better than I expected. Cornelius said he wants you to have a meeting with him and that you should send a letter with said meeting's time and place."

"I will do so tomorrow. For now, however, I wish to spend time with my gorgeous raven haired lemur demon."

That sentence needs to be taken out and shot. Seriously, put the darn thing out of its misery.

Quote :
Voldemort scooped Harry up in his arms and walked him up to the room of requirement. The room of requirement was turned into a large room which consisted of a black silk sheet covered king sized bed, a fireplace, a couch, a dresser, and a bathroom that contained both a regular sized shower and a tub the size of the prefect's bathroom.

Snip some boring smut, until:

Quote :
Just as Harry was falling asleep he had the sneaking suspicion that someone was watching them from under his invisibility cloak.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN.

How did he sense that? I mean, maybe his lemur ears could hear them moving around, but how would he sense that they were using his invisibility cloak.

Well, that's it for this chapter, and thank the gods for it. This is the most offensive fanfiction I've read yet, but I'm not sure if that means I'm sheltered or not. Talk about missing the entire point of the series! Let's just be happy that we only have two somewhat short chapters to go.
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Sun Nov 18, 2012 8:55 am

These people are supposed to be English. So...is it too much to ask that they speak like people from England? This is probably the least of this fic's problem, but it irks me. The word "mate" is, usually, not used the way F.U.C.K.E.R. uses it, so every time Voldemort and Harry refer to each other as mates, I get a serious Right Said Fred vibe: "You're my mate and I will stand by you..."

Gah.

Not to mention everything else that's wrong with this clusterfuck....
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Tue Nov 20, 2012 6:47 pm

Last time, on Harry Potter and the Pureblood Supremacist Agenda Feisty Sentiment:

Harry has at last shedded the final remnants of his canon characterization; that is, his belief in blood equality. We are now meant to be rooting for someone who is, for all intents and purposes, HBP!Draco, only with the the entire Ministry behind him. Also, some creeper is watching Harry have sex with Voldy under the invisibility cloak.

Quote :
Even though he was invisible he knew that he had been found out. Just as Harry was going to sleep he had unknowingly stared right into Theo's eyes.

Although it's not made clear, this paragraph is from Theo's POV. And if Harry only met his eyes unknowingly, than he hasn't been found out.

Quote :
Now, Theo wasn't much of a stalker nor did he want to become one.

Yeah, apparently the stalker is Theodore Nott, who hasn't been mentioned at all in this fic, except to point out that Dumbledore and Grindelwald's spawn is actually his grandfather.

Quote :
Honestly, he had just wanted to capture Harry alone in order to talk to him however he did not expect to end up watching Harry have sex with Voldemort.

How did he catch them? They were under the invisibility cloak! And why didn't he just leave when he somehow found out they were there?

Quote :
Theo was scared, as in terrified of what would happen if he was found out as well as what might happen if his reason for being here was discovered. Since Theo was currently in a mass mess he just broke down.

He would get in trouble for wanting to talk to Harry? What? Look, F.U.C.K.E.R., we know nothing about Theo, so if he's going to have an emotional breakdown, you have to explain why beyond just saying he was in a "mass mess."

Quote :
The next morning Harry awoke before Voldemort and he used his "sixth sense" to find the person hidden beneath the invisibility cloak.

Wait, THEO was under the invisibility cloak? How did he get it? And if this is morning, why is Theo still in the dorm? He could've just left! And where did this "sixth sense" come from? And why did Harry not use it last night when he first realized that someone was watching? Does FUCKER think of ANYTHING before banging her hands on the keyboard and publishing the results as a story?

Quote :
Harry was expecting to find a stalker wanking off to the sight he or she had seen earlier

Wanking in the morning to a scene you saw the night before? In the bedroom of the people you were jerking off to?

Quote :
however imagine his surprise when he found a rather distraught Theodore Nott.

No, I will not imagine it and you can't make me.

Quote :
Theo's body was trembling violently, his eyes were bright red and puffy from crying, and he just had the whole 'if something happens I might just lose it' look.

Well, obviously he already has lost it, and for no reason, too. Look, seeing people having sex is embarrassing, sure, but unless you've had some terrible experience, it's not so fucking traumatizing that it paralyzes you.

Quote :
"Theo? Oh Theo, what has happened to you?" Harry said softly in nearly a worried mother kind of tone.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you and you were having sex. WAAAAAAAHHHHH, FEEL SORRY FOR MEEEEEEE!"

Quote :
Theo looked up at Harry and sniffled. Harry had never seen a Slytherin so distraught before which was another blaring fact that concerned Harry deeply. He may be a Gryffindor but he saw Slytherins as his 'children' as well and immediately went to take Theo under his wing.

WHEN did Harry suddenly become OMG SO MACHURR? He's no more mature than anyone else in canon, and nothing has happened differently to make him any more responsible or caring. Hell, half the fic he's burrowing into someone's lap or fainting from shock.

Quote :
Theo reached out for Harry almost as if like a toddler wanting his parent back. Harry scooped the distraught teenager into his arms

Because if anything strikes you about Harry's appearance, it's his impressive arm strength.

Quote :
and slowly rocked the boy back and forth in a soothing rhythm. By the time Harry had successfully calmed Theo down; Voldemort had woken up however the older man decided to stay in bed in order to watch the scene unfolding in front of him. Theo nestled his hand against Harry's chest and drifted into a light sleep which we woke up from a little while later.

The H and W keys are on opposite sides of the keyboard. OPPOSITE SIDES.

Quote :
"Tell me what has happened Theo. Why did you have the need to spy on my lover and me?" Harry asked softly.

"I didn't mean to spy and I certainly didn't mean to eavesdrop on your passionate moments. I was simply going to wait till Voldemort was asleep to talk to you however that plan didn't work because you caught me whether knowingly or unknowingly just before you fell asleep. I panicked and because what I have to say is really important I just couldn't get myself to leave." Theo slowly and quietly explained.

"It was just-- so-- FASCINATING."

Quote :
"What is important that you need to tell me? Why don't you wish for my lover to know of what you will speak to me about?" Harry questioned gently.

"It is a rather personal matter and I don't want Voldemort to hear of it simply because I don't want him to think I am some weakly sniveling boy that can't deal with my own problems…" Theo whispered truthfully.

Why would Theo go to Harry for a personal matter? I don't think they ever interact positively in canon, and we never even met Theo before in this fanfic.

Quote :
Harry nodded in understanding and requested Voldemort to leave the room for an hour. Voldemort seemed to understand what was going on as well because he left without a fight.

Well we should HOPE he understood what was going on; he was kinda right there, listening to it happen.

Quote :
Harry conjured a couch for the two to sit on. Theo slowly moved from Harry's arms and sat on the couch. He curled in on himself so that his chin could rest on his knees. Harry moved to sit beside him and draped a blanket over Theo's body before asking Theo to explain. It was rather shocking for Harry to find out that Theo was just plain scared of his new boyfriend Dean.

UGH.

I want to know how F.U.C.K.E.R. can just keep looking at this fic and going: "Hmm, needs more slash pairings."

Quote :
According to Theo, Dean wanted to start getting more passionate but Theo was afraid of doing so

Oh, I see, so Theo DOES have coitophobia. Gee, now I feel kinda bad about making fun of him--

Quote :
because the only one that had ever given him affections like that was his now dead father

Oh dear, and because of incestuous molestation, too? Oh man, I'm sorry, Theo--

Quote :
and it wasn't in a rape way it was in an honest to merlin incest filled consensual relationship.

Wait.

Waaaaaaaait a second.

Nope, not sorry.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKEEEEEEEERRRRR.

BAD. BAD F.U.C.K.E.R. YOU DO NOT TREAT INCEST THIS WAY.

Look, look, I get it. There IS such thing as consensual incest, although the psychology is murky. Two people who are, say, cousins, or even brother and sister, can come into each other's lives late in life, fall in love, and have a normal, healthy, relationship. I'll even accept the validity of parents and children falling in love that way. With enough skill and respect, you CAN write about that.

You CANNOT write this.

A father who has raised his son healthily will NOT fall in love with him. A son who has been raised properly does NOT fall in "honest-to-Merlin" love with his father. There has to be child grooming involved, and that is NOT OKAY UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. And, most importantly, a FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD canNOT consent to a sexual relationship with an adult, especially not one that has raised him.

I HATE you, F.U.C.K.E.R.. I was only kidding around before, but I "honest-to-Merlin" MEAN it now.

I HATE YOU.

That was NOT a joke. I do NOT say that easily. I do NOT say that lightly. I do NOT like to attack the authors of a work, even the most atrocious. But this goes BEYOND atrociousity. This. Is. F.U.C.K.E.R.

Quote :
Harry listened to everything Theo had to say and smiled small when he realized exactly what Theo was asking of him.

"Theo, how about you stay here for a few minutes while I go talk with Dean?" Harry suggested.

Wait, Theo just said he was afraid of Dean. Not of Dean's sex urge, of DEAN. That would imply that Dean was trying to force him into sex. In which case, this is not a "happy-rainbow-sunshine-twu-wub" relationship, and it never will be. It is unhealthy and Theo should get out.

Quote :
Theo nodded and watched as Harry left. While Harry was gone, Voldemort returned. Voldemort looked at Theo and frowned slightly at seeing how badly this boy looked. Theo watched Voldemort's reactions and couldn't help but back away slightly when Voldemort came closer to him. Voldemort held his hands up in surrender before sitting down in front of Theo. He slowly opened his arms for Theo in case the boy wanted to sit in his lap.

He's coitophobic, you bastard, he does not want to sit on some fucking stranger's lap--

Quote :
Voldemort knew he wasn't the most welcoming looking person in the world but for some reason he just seemed to feel rather protective of this young snake. Theo stared at Voldemort for a few minutes before tugging his blanket against his skin even tighter and then crawling towards Voldemort.

lajeiorufuck youlqwujerioja;luoiwejr;k

Quote :
The dark lord watched Theo and smiled ever so slightly at having the warm body curled up against his chest. Voldemort wrapped his arms around Theo and cradled the boy as if he were his own son.

Ha ha, given what we just heard, that does not sound good at all.

Quote :
-Meanwhile on the other side of the castle-

Harry walked into the Gryffindor Tower with the intent of talking to Dean however he was bombarded by Ron and Seamus. Ron wrapped his arms around Harry excitedly as Seamus grinned and kept asking Harry questions. It took a long twenty minutes before Harry could shake his "children" off in order to go talk with Dean.

STOP TREATING RON AND SEAMUS LIKE THEY'RE FUCKING FIVE YEARS OLD, THEY ARE PERFECTLY FUNCTIONAL TEENAGERS.

Quote :
The dark skinned Gryffindor was lying on the floor of the dormitory with a music player playing loudly.

Electronics don't work in Hogwarts. Well, it did just say "music player", so maybe it's a phonograph or something.

Quote :
When Harry looked closer he saw that Dean had tears slowly rolling down his cheeks.

Wait, crying while listening to music? Is Dean listening to MCR and getting ready to commit sewicide with a steak?

Quote :
Harry coughed in order to announce his presence to Dean and the cough seemed to work as Dean roughly wiped his eyes dry and turned the music off. Dean stood up and walked over to Harry.

"What do you want Harry?" Dean asked softly.

"I'm telling you, I ran out of Harry weeks ago!"

Quote :
"I need to talk to you about Theo but why are you crying?" Harry questioned.

"'cause of Theo." Dean whispered with a trembled lip.

"What did Theo do?" Harry wondered out loud.

"I kissed him and just as I thought things would get a bit more passionate he suddenly just ran away and disappeared in fact, he still hasn't returned." Dean explained while trying not to cry.

Theo was in Harry and Voldy's room last night. You're still crying when he left nine hours ago?

...wait a minute. Harry and Voldy don't have a room. They sleep in Gryffindor's dorm. And then they went to Gryffindor Tower to find Dean... what the hell?

Alright, I won't dwell on it, I just want to get this chapter the hell over with.

Quote :
"Dean, we really need to talk. Theo came to me and I talked with him…" Harry started off.

And that's how our penultimate chapter ends. That's right, only one chapter left, and no falling action in sight. Or even a climax, really. This whole thing is a "story" only in name. Oh, and wait 'til you see how it ends.
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King Bee
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Wed Nov 21, 2012 9:37 am

I can't be alone in thinking this whole fic is actually one big practical joke? Because I can't imagine any author writing this and thinking that this is a good idea.
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EileenK98
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Age : 49
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Wed Nov 21, 2012 3:51 pm

F. U. C. K. E. R.: Ha ha haaaa, I'm a troll!

WGW: :/ Not impressed, dude. We've had better.
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bleachedblackcat
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PostSubject: Re: Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment   Wed Nov 21, 2012 7:34 pm

My brain hurts after the last chapter. Great spork though!
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Harry Potter and the Feisty Sentiment
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