The Badfic Contest to End All Badfic Contests (EXTENDED TO SEPT 1)

Introduction
Have you ever come across a truly idiotic piece of fanfiction with hundreds of glowing reviews? Maybe it was that boss/secretary romance featuring Inuyasha characters, or that story about Veela!Draco discovering that Harry is his "mate". Every time this happens, somewhere, in the back of your mind, you know you're thinking it.

You're thinking, 'ANYBODY could write this crap!'

And you would be right.

The Concept
In this thread are two lists: one of popular fandoms and one of horrible recurring plots/themes in fanfiction. Participants will choose a single fandom and one or more fanfic stereotypes from the list. Over the span of a month, participants will write one of "those" fanfictions, under those restraints, and upload the story to a brand new account at fanfiction.net, created for the purpose of this contest. The goal of this competition is to get the highest story stats such as reviews, pageviews, favorites, etc. At the end of the month, we will tally the scores and declare a winner. Here's where things get truly interesting.

All participants will post a sixth chapter. This chapter will be an essay, written by the author of the fic, explaining to the readers that the story they've been slobbering over is complete crap, and detailing why. At the end of the letter the author will state that the readers have been thoroughly trolled courtesy of whygodwhy.org. I have already cleared this with Nihilist, since this is most likely going to result in an influx of enraged fanbrats and delicious lulz for all.


The Rules
1. ONE entry per participant.

2. You choose your own fandom and trope, so no complaining about unfairness regarding the discrepancy in traffic between yours and someone else's story. You picked your own poison, so suck it up.

3. You MUST create a BRAND NEW ACCOUNT on fanfiction.net to participate. If you're unwilling to do this, fuck you. You can't play. Bear in mind that myself (and perhaps a few other impartial judges to bolster confidence in the accuracy of the win) will be logging in to this account to take screenshots of your story's stats and ensure that no cheating goes on.

4. Anonymous reviews must be disabled. Sorry, but this goes a long way in preventing people from cheating by reviewing their own story over and over. I sincerely hope that you're all above this but there's probably a person out there who's lame enough to try.

5. I'm serious, don't cheat. If you cheat I will make it my personal business to expose your dishonesty make you miserable, and everyone will think you're a total dipshit. It's not worth it. We will find out. These things are only fun if people play fair and enjoy this challenge for what it is. Don't be that guy who gets way too competitive during charades and screams at everybody for not getting that flailing your arms around wildly is the universal symbol for Helen Keller. Or the guy who body slams people during casual backyard games.

6. DON'T ALERT THE FANBRATS TO OUR BRILLIANT SCHEME. Seriously. This has the potential to be fucking epic. I don't just mean "it was funny on the forum" epic. I mean, trolls will tell their grandbabytrolls about this to put them to bed. Fandomwank will explode. Wangst levels will reach a record high. We could make fandom history! We have the potential to infuriate thousands of fanbrats here, and if somebody fucks it up on purpose, their ass is grass.

7. The entire point of this is to write a shitty stereotypical story, etc. but that doesn't mean you have to abandon proper grammar and spelling.

8. The list is final. The list. It is final. You know what's final? The list. I don't give a shit about what you want added to it. There is plenty there for you to choose from. You don't have to be familiar with any of these fandoms to write shitfic for them. Trust me, an AU fic about a thousand-year-old werepanther finding his attractive, 21-year-old mate is pretty much the same nomatter what the protagonists' names are.

9. One fandom, one or more stereotypes. You don't get extra credit for incorporating more than one stereotype in your story. Choose wisely.

10. If you don't have five chapters completed and uploaded by the deadline, you are disqualified from winning. Feel free to still post your letter to the fanbrats, though.

11. IF YOU ARE A MEMBER OF THIS FORUM, PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE FF.NET REVIEWS OR FAVORITE ANY OF THE ENTRIES. Let the fanbrats do that. We don't want to give unfair advantage to any of the participants.

12. No advertising your fic anywhere else on the net in an attempt to boost your stats. We'll be watching you.

13. You can get into character as the author and make obnoxious author's notes, etc.

14. I will add rules if the need arises. I won't do this to dick people over, so don't sweat it. You'll be notified and it won't be for a stupid or arbitrary reason.


Entry Notification Form
Fill out the following form and PM it to me at your earliest convenience. There is no deadline for entering the contest, only for finishing it. People who enter the contest will most likely have lower stats, but that is your problem, not mine or anyone else's.

Quote :

FF.net Username:

Fandom:

Tropes:

You may post your entry in this thread at your own discretion, or you can play your cards close to your chest and reveal your fic at the very end. That's up to you entirely.


The Prize
I've spoken to Nihilist and it has been agreed that the person who wins this contest will be allowed their own custom title! Whatever you'd like ti to say. I'll see if I can wangle special stars for under your username or something.

All participants will get a badge for their signature, including special badges for 2nd and 3rd place.

Oh, and a shit ton of bragging rights.

The Lists
As I said before, the lists are final. Pick one fandom and at least one stereotype. Again, choose wisely! Feel free to do some field research before making your decision.

Fandoms
Harry Potter
Twilight
Final Fantasy VII & VIII
Avatar the Last Airbender
Lord of the Rings
Sailor Moon
Dragonball Z
Dr. Who
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
X-Files
Star Wars
Pirates of the Carribean
Pokemon
Kingdom Hearts
Star Trek
Naruto
Sonic
Inuyasha
Transformers
Yu-Gi-Oh
Fullmetal Alchemist
House M.D.

Tropes
High School AU
Everyone is Gay!
Boss/Secretary Romance
Character X Gets a Makeover
Secret Baby
MPREG
Mates/Mating Season
Misplaced Historical Fiction
Millionaire Playboy Meets Girl Next Door
Arranged Marriage/Marriage Law
Character X is Inexplicably a Vampire/Werewolf
Popular Character and Troubled/Badass/Nerdy Character Fall in Love
Random Fairytale Adaptation
Cutter!fic
Sugar High/Crackfic
Rape is Love
Healing!Sex
Horrific NonCanon Childhood Abuse
Eating Disorders
Stockholm Syndrome
Character X is the Dark King/Lord
Girl Poses as Boy in All Male Boarding School/the Army/Whatever
Diary Style Narrative
Thin Line Between Love and Hate
Seme/Uke
Character X Goes Goth
Character X Has Amnesia
Conniving Ex Tries to Break Up the Couple

The Deadline
The fifth and final chapter of your story must be uploaded to fanfiction.net no later than 12PM EST on Monday August 13th, 2009. At that time the contest will be closed and all stats will be tallied. Anyone failing to meet this deadline will not be eligible to win. After a winner is declared, you will be given a couple of days to write your Big Reveal. We will arrange to upload our sixth chapters at approximately the same time for maximum impact. Remember, you are responsible for saving/screencapping reviews and things you want to keep in case FF.NET takes down our stories or something.

In Conclusion
So there you have it! You can be a part of fandom history. THE POWER IS YOURS!!

NEW THINGS!!

For Your Inspiration
I want to make it very clear the type of story we're looking for, here. I found the perfect example of shitty fic that sacrifices quality to pander to horny fanbrats. I present to you:

You are Mine by Munyo
Darien is a werewolf and the Alpfa in his pack. Serenity is a werewolf who lost her memories. And what? They are soulmates?

This Sailor Moon fanfiction starts out with a young Serena running for her life as her parents are murdered, with a bout of amnesia. (Bonus points are awarded because this has fuck all to do with Sailor Moon.) Only a couple of paragraphs in and the heroine is already established as an amnesic orphan.

Quote :

"What is your name dear?" The doctor frowned.

"I don't know." Serenity's eyes were full with tears. "I can't remember!"

"Sssss. It is all right. We found a necklace in your neck. I have never seen such a beautiful necklace before. It says Serenity, look." Dr. Romoe showed her a leather necklace with silver characters on it.

Not only that, but now there's a de rigeur Mysterious Locket from her past. (And apparently Dr. Romoe is a snake.)

Watch and learn, guys.

By chapter two, we are introduced to Darien, Alpha Male, and his Lovably Wacky Troupe. These troupes can be comprised of any neglected side characters you'd like from the fandom of your choice. Bonus points if they're all paired up with their Soul Mate as they have been here. We're also introduced to Beryl who, in this fic, has been demoted from Evil Queen Who Almost Takes Over the World to Spiteful Whore. You can't win 'em all, I guess. Remember: women who have sex outside of mate-age/marriage are evil sluts whose only goal in life is to piss in the heroine's cornflakes. And all the good characters hate them. This is important.

Quote :

"Darien, why don't you show me the bedroom of an Alpha?" Beryl purred in his ears.

"When hell freezes over! He would never take you to his bedroom you know that Beryl!" Lita said from beside Nephrite glaring at the other woman.

It is also important to establish that the hero of this story has dipped his wick in everything female while waiting for The One:

Quote :

"The girls are right you know. What are you waiting for Darien? There are so many women waiting for you to make them your mate. You can choose anyone. And what are you doing? Taking countless mistresses instead of a mate." Kunzite said shaking his head.

"Shouldn't I wait for my soul-mate?" Darien growled. He hated to talk about this.

"Well, soul-mates are quiet rare nowadays. Not everyone can find his/her soul-mate. There are countless good and happy marriages between non-soul-mates." Ami explained.

"It is easy for you to talk. You all found your soul-mates." Darien sapped at them.

See? You have to pair everyone else up so that the hero can be extra special lonely. (And apparently Darien has turned into a tree.) The wilder his sexcapades, the better. That way we can be extra sure that when he meets the Virginal Heroine, he can be kind of like a virgin himself. Except instead of not having sex he's just never committed. This way we don't have to worry about any other potential love interests AND he'll be an expert at cunnilingus.

Quote :

Once the men left the room, Beryl and Ann glared at each other again.

"You are lieing! Darien spent the night with me!" Beryl screamed.

"You are the one lieing! Darien was with me last night!" Ann shouted back.

"Hah, you bitch! Darien came to my bed at 2 am and we spent a great time together!"

"At 2... 2 am? He was with me around midnight..." Ann stuttered.

The two women were glaring and gaping at each other then narrowed their eyes.

"So he left you the moment he was finished with you." smirked Beryl.

In this case, author Munyo has cleverly inserted yet ANOTHER Spiteful Whore, tapping into more of the evil female characters the show had to offer. Nice move, Munyo!

From here, the hero and heroine actually meet. As I'm sure you expected, he is overcome by her Alluring Scent and molests her in an elevator. She is also given a demeaning petname because she is a woman. In this case, the pet name is Chérie. Don't feel limited by that, however. Acceptable pet names also include pet, kitten, lover, little one, and darling. Feel free to explore!

One would think that was enough, but in a spectacular move that is virtually unparalleled in Trope-y Fanfiction, Munyo has managed to actually combine the Mating Trope with the Boss/Secretary Trope!

Quote :

..."What about you? Did you come for the interview too?" Serenity asked nonchalant glancing at him from the corner of her eyes.

"Not really." Darien chuckled when the elevator stopped. Once the door opened a lot of people, mostly the managers, stood there worriedly.

"Mr. Defounten! We are so sorry! There have never been any problems with the elevator before!" One of the managers said bowing.

Serenity's eyes went wide and she glanced at Darien. 'Oh my god! D&D. Darien Defounten. He is the big boss!'

Unbelievable!

This story goes on to incorporate so many tropes that naming them all would be so time consuming as to be nearly impossible. And at the time of this writing, this story has over 560 reviews.

560 REVIEWS

If Munyo can do it, so can you! Now get out there and WRITE SOME SHITTY FANFICTION!



Badfic Directory
If you choose to share the link to your story, post it in this thread. I'll try to update the directory as much as I can so people don't have to fish through the thread to find the entries. Remember, you are not allowed to review, favorite, or do jack shit to these stories aside from reading them. Thanks. Click on the usernames to access their FF.net accounts.


Ihasacookie
Inkweaver
Nihilist
Maximilia
Keith Fraser
Raine
Sheba
ZoZo
Fitchsticks

OMFSM! I've thought more than once about doing this in the past; if I can make the time, I may very well participate. One question to start with:

Quote :

11. IF YOU ARE A MEMBER OF THIS FORUM, PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE FF.NET REVIEWS OR FAVORITE ANY OF THE ENTRIES. Let the fanbrats do that. We don't want to give unfair advantage to any of the participants.

Can we leave *negative* reviews of our own fics telling our sockpuppets how badly they suck? It would add plausibility and possibly provoke lulz as our sockpuppets' fans leap to the fics' defence. Obviously the judges wouldn't count these reviews (I assume negative reviews would be discounted anyway; they're so rare on FFN this probably won't be much of an issue, but if someone comes up with a really bad fic, they might bring down an avalanche of reviewers from Deleterious or Something Awful like Reunited or My Immortal).

Edit, another question: are there any limits on wordcount other than the time limit? A five-chapter fic written in a month could either be five paragraphs or 25,000 words; the 25,000 word version might get more reviews.

Sorry Keith, but no reviewing of any kind. The contest is being judged on how many reviews, views, faves, and such the fic gets. Any bolstering could lead to a false win.

This will pretty much destroy all possibility of anyone who participates claiming not to be a troll. I know you did this for me, Narwhal. This will be a great way to bring everyone down to my level.

By the time this is over, you will be wishing you were part of the Fanfic Troll Elite, Choco. You will wish.

anangrychocobo wrote:

This will pretty much destroy all possibility of anyone who participates claiming not to be a troll. I know you did this for me, Narwhal. This will be a great way to bring everyone down to my level.

It's a sociopolitical experiment! Yes! That was it...

This is such an awesome idea. I may even get off my lazy ass and participate, the idea is so epic.

I hope people notice -- this forum doesn't seem to get a lot of traffic.

I CAN'T WAIT I CAN'T WAIT I CAN'T WAIT


You could give an extra side award to the person who caused the most outrage, judged by how many reviews were addded after the revelation or how many flames or something.

Grumbles, that is a brilliant idea. See, this is why I keep you around.

grmblfjx wrote:

You could give an extra side award to the person who caused the most outrage, judged by how many reviews were addded after the revelation or how many flames or something.

I like this idea.

At the moment, I'm toying with the idea of a Transformers High School AU where the Autobots and Decepticons are rival (human) cliques. The Autobots are the jocks, preps and popular kids, the Decepticons are the goths, freaks and weirdos. But Optimus Prime, captain of the football team and leader of the 'Auto' clique, can no longer hide his inexplicable attraction to motorcycle-riding 'Decep' leader Megatron (who is himself thinking about ditching his cheating boyfriend Starscream). WHAT WILL HAPPEN?! Meanwhile, Hot Rod wants to get into head cheerleader Arcee's pleated skirt, but is too shy to approach her.

Edit: I take it Mary Sue/Marty Stu fics are excluded to make the contest more about canon raep?

Holy shit Keith, now you have to do it.

Narwhal wrote:

By the time this is over, you will be wishing you were part of the Fanfic Troll Elite, Choco. You will wish.

How do you know I'm not planning to precipitate?

I was hoping you would. The more the merrier, etc.

Oooh! Fun! Oh, man, what to choose?

Question: Are we just supposed to post the story, nothing else, or can we respond to reviewers or post obnoxious author's notes, too?

We'll see. It sounds like this is going to require a somewhat higher level of effort than my usual trollfics.

You can get as IC as you want, DeeDee, so long as you don't review your own story. Ooh, and no advertising anywhere else, like on LJ. *runs to add that to the rules* You can create and update a blog or LJ acting as the author, and you can pretty up your profile and be a moron in the author's notes alllll you want.

Keith Fraser wrote:

But Optimus Prime, captain of the football team and leader of the 'Auto' clique, can no longer hide his inexplicable attraction to motorcycle-riding 'Decep' leader Megatron (who is himself thinking about ditching his cheating boyfriend Starscream).

OR you could give him a girlfriend and they both come to realize that ghey buttsexx is much better than stupid girls. Complete with wangsting over "it's so wrong, but it feels so good!!!"

anangrychocobo wrote:

How do you know I'm not planning to precipitate?

You're going to rain on our parade?




PS NARWHAL I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE KEEPING ME AROUND

FF.net Username: Spuffy4EVR

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Tropes: Rape is Love, Healing!Sex

~~~

I should have the first chapter up by today or tomorrow since I don't have to rewrite or anything and today is a mostly light day for work.

PM sent, Narwhal.

We've gotta do profiles. Dibs on "favourite music: all types except rap and country".

This is all so exciting!

anangrychocobo wrote:

We've gotta do profiles. Dibs on "favourite music: all types except rap and country".

Agreed - it'll add to the plausibility.

By the way, I assume we're deliberately *not* doing Mary Sue/Marty Stu fics? If we are, I might write up one of Steve Steel's awesome adventures as a hidden prequel to my LotR Stufic parody.

grmblfjx wrote:

OR you could give him a girlfriend and they both come to realize that ghey buttsexx is much better than stupid girls. Complete with wangsting over "it's so wrong, but it feels so good!!!"

Ooh, I can use that to link the two plotlines. Arcee is Optimus' girlfriend so Hot Rod thinks he'll never have a chance with her, but then he sees Optimus and Megatron together. What should he do?!

Keith Fraser wrote:

Mary Sue/Marty Stu

You keep saying that, do you mean OCs?


Narwhal, is there a policy on OCs?

Well, I specifically meant annoying/overpowered/story-hogging OCs, but yes. I assume OC 'extras' are OK as they're pretty much obligatory for things like high school AUs, but there may be a policy on OC main/supporting characters.

It can use an OC, but be prepared not to get as much traffic as popular pairings.