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 Fifty Shades of Grey

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Snake Bandage
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PostSubject: Fifty Shades of Grey   Fri Jun 22, 2012 5:37 am

I'm honestly surprised Fifty Shades of Gray hasn't ended up on the boards yet. It's a truly godawful piece of ass. As befitting of a book that started out as a Twilight fanfic, really.

It's an incredibly trashy, badly researched BDSM novel about an utter moron of a girl who reluctantly gets in a relationship with a pretty rich sadist. Everyone in the world of Fifty Shades is a horrible person, consent is fishy, the sex is far less hot than the old ladies who love that book would have you believe, and the term "inner goddess" pops up far too many times.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Keep a pillow on hand, it'll help reduce the pain from the headdesking.
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Chris91
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:12 am

Snake Bandage wrote:
I'm honestly surprised Fifty Shades of Gray hasn't ended up on the boards yet. It's a truly godawful piece of ass. As befitting of a book that started out as a Twilight fanfic, really.

I'm not surprised that "Twilight" played a role in the creation of this literary Frankenstein's monster. Only a hardcore "Twilight" buff could have written the massive collection of fail that is "50 Shades of Gray".
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theweirdkind
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Fri Jun 22, 2012 11:55 am

Words cannot describe how much I hate this book. I've read about 45% of it and want to strangle the main character. And if I read the words "inner goddess" one more time, I will scream.

Honestly, I didn't know this was a Twilight fan fiction until I started reading it and was about three pages in when I texted my friend and wrote, "I feel like I'm reading a Twilight AH fanfic." *Googles it* "And that's because it was originally a Twilight fanfic."

I don't think I've ever facepalmed so much in my life from reading a book. Seriously, this is worse than Twilight.
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Mr.Doobie
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Fri Jun 22, 2012 12:17 pm

CLI-TAURUS!
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TheIan
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Fri Jun 22, 2012 8:38 pm

All I have to say to [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] is

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Rabid Badger
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Fri Jun 22, 2012 8:49 pm

I have a friend who tried to snark it on her Tumbler, got about a quarter of the way into it, and got so squicked out she had to quit. Given what she quoted from the book, I don't blame her.
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Braigwen
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:31 pm

The thumb in the puss goes round and round, round and round. The thumb in the puss goes round and round all in my ears!
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Disco Stu
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:21 am

Currently waiting for it to be available for me at the public library

I'm 468th on the waiting list
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Lurv
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Sat Jun 23, 2012 8:27 am

Rabid Badger wrote:
I have a friend who tried to snark it on her Tumbler, got about a quarter of the way into it, and got so squicked out she had to quit. Given what she quoted from the book, I don't blame her.
Did she upload the stuff she managed to snark?
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Rabid Badger
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:42 pm

Lurv wrote:
Rabid Badger wrote:
I have a friend who tried to snark it on her Tumbler, got about a quarter of the way into it, and got so squicked out she had to quit. Given what she quoted from the book, I don't blame her.
Did she upload the stuff she managed to snark?

I'll have to check. She said last night she was going to try and restart it, but it's spread out all over her Tumbler, so you'd basically have to look for the 'Shades of Cray' posts if you didn't want to read the rest of her stuff.

You can find her Tumber here[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
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rae
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:53 pm

In just a few minutes, I am going to be sitting down with this and cracking open a bottle of Tuaca. I'll be on Skype if anyone wants to join in.
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Snake Bandage
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:05 pm

You are a brave and beautiful person.
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theweirdkind
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:47 pm

rae wrote:
In just a few minutes, I am going to be sitting down with this and cracking open a bottle of Tuaca. I'll be on Skype if anyone wants to join in.

I encourage everybody to join this. It is so much fun! Excitedplz
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Mr.Doobie
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Sun Jun 24, 2012 10:18 am

TheIan wrote:
All I have to say to [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] is

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I posted that months ago stop riding my dick.
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rae
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Sun Jun 24, 2012 2:53 pm

It looks like we will be doing another drunken reading of this (chapter 3) on Thursday (the 28th), sometime after 10pm Central.

JOIN US AND DO NOT FORGET THE BOOZE.
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Snake Bandage
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:01 pm

I'll be there. Without booze, though, I'm not allowed any. It'll be like 6am here though so I'll survive on general exhaustion. Everything's funnier when you're tired!
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theweirdkind
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Sun Jun 24, 2012 11:19 pm

rae wrote:
It looks like we will be doing another drunken reading of this (chapter 3) on Thursday (the 28th), sometime after 10pm Central.

JOIN US AND DO NOT FORGET THE BOOZE.

I just realized that I can do this earlier as well. I totally forgot that I actually took Thursday off. Any time in the evening works for me.
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rae
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:39 am

Woohoo! In that case, how would about 5pm Central work for everyone?
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Braigwen
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:51 am

I don't know yet. Our schedule isn't made until Wednesday. I should know by then.
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WD40
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Mon Jun 25, 2012 3:39 am

I'd be up for this. Providing I can figure out how to use Skype and if I can figure out what 5pm Central is in proper time.

In the mentime, you can follow [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Here's a sample:

Quote :
My to-do list for today: pick up dry cleaning, phone mom, have powerful business meeting, suck your clitoris while dressed as a bee.

Quote :
I've been collecting my sweat for three months and have it all in a bucket above my door. When my secretary walks in it will be very erotic.

Quote :
just accidentally trapped my penis in my zip. I won't release it until you come over later, in case you find it erotic.

Quote :
My secretary just came into my powerful office and stubbed her toe on a block of granite I'd left by the door. I have an erection.

Quote :
I am in my powerful office. Would you like to come over and take dictation for me? By dictation I mean something to do with dicks.

Quote :
I put five fingers into your wetness and three fingers into your behind. I keep my thumbs free to work the steering wheel.

Quote :
I put your nude body against the door. Your bare ass is at the mail slot. I climb out of the window and post my penis into you. First Class.

I need to stop now - I'll wind up posting his entire backlog!
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theweirdkind
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:07 am

WD40 wrote:
I'd be up for this. Providing I can figure out how to use Skype and if I can figure out what 5pm Central is in proper time.
It's 11pm BST if that helps.
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Summercorn
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:24 am

From the sporking linked to by the OP:

Quote :
Ah,” I groan.

Look, either groan or say ‘ah.’ It is possible to groan and produce that vowel sound, but it’s not the first one that springs to mind for most people.

Indeed. It's not even got an exclamation mark. Try doing a neutral groan. Really, try it.

You have just done a Fozzie Bear impression.


Last edited by Summercorn on Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:26 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Google-fu reveals correct spelling of Fozzie.)
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TheIan
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Mon Jun 25, 2012 10:09 am

Summercorn wrote:
From the sporking linked to by the OP:

Quote :
Ah,” I groan.

Look, either groan or say ‘ah.’ It is possible to groan and produce that vowel sound, but it’s not the first one that springs to mind for most people.

Indeed. It's not even got an exclamation mark. Try doing a neutral groan. Really, try it.

You have just done a Fozzie Bear impression.
I am sigging this.
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Mon Jun 25, 2012 10:24 am

Haha, that is pretty good.

Aaaaaahhh, wakka wakkaaa!
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grmblfjx
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PostSubject: Re: Fifty Shades of Grey   Mon Jun 25, 2012 10:37 am

WD40 wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

omg.


Quote :
Christian Grey CEO ‏@ChristianGreyXX

You moisten my fingers with your willing mouth. I transfer the wetness to your sin. The waiter waits patiently for our order.
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Fifty Shades of Grey
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